


Moments Experienced and Unexperienced

by Montreat11



Series: Moments Series [9]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Friendship, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-31
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-12 05:55:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 50
Words: 124,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4467917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Montreat11/pseuds/Montreat11
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What does it take to move on? A thought? An action? The words? Or is it something that goes deeper, something that the head can't provide? If it takes the heart to move on, what happens when the heart refuses? 8th in the Moments Series. Belle's perspective of everything that happens after Rumple is banished to the moment the Dark Curse is removed. R/R.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Fresh Start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please excuse my dust! In my effort to keep the Moments Series up to date I sometimes have to perform what I call "binge edits". It is a time that I go through the entire series as fast as I possibly can to make sure that everything stays accurate. If you are reading this note it means that I am in the middle of binging this fiction and, due to the request of my many readers, re-add the authors notes to the chapters. My apologies for the construction! It's all done to ensure a wonderful and perfectly fluid end product just for you! Peace and Happy Reading!

She wasn't tired, but she slept. She wasn't hungry, but she ate. She didn't want to do anything but be a lump under the covers of her bed, but she forced herself to get up and shower, to dress, to do more.

She wanted a fresh start, a purge. Weeks ago when she'd searched the house top and bottom for that ridiculous Lost and Found she'd seen boxes in the attic and once her hair was dry and some semblance of a breakfast was eaten she made her way up there to claim them. This was her home now, he wasn't coming back to it, and somehow if she packed up his things, took his suits out of the closet and got rid of every sign of him in her room then that would make it real for her. There would be no denying what had happened and there would be no hiding from the future. No, this was embracing the future, her future. At least that was what she told herself when she looked around her room once she was finished.

No. Finished in one room, but not every room.

She had six large boxes of clothes from her bedroom but the rest of the house? Well she struggled to get together three boxes of his things. The kitchen was barren of anything that belonged to him. The dining room, sitting room, porch, sunroom, all the same. The living room held most of his life, bits and pieces of unfinished trinkets, little projects he'd been working on restoring that would never be finished now. She packed each box up and put it away in the basement, along with his spinning wheels and books and she never shed a tear. Not until she made her way back up the stairs and moved into the office. The office would be a job all on it's own, no where near as easy as the rest of the house had been but that wasn't what caught her attention and brought her out of her trance.

There was something there that she didn't know what to do with, something that she couldn't sort through because it was neither hers nor his. It was theirs.

It was the paperwork, everything that he'd had her sign only days ago. Deeds and titles she hadn't wanted then because all she'd really wanted was him. She tried her hardest to stifle a sniff as she collapsed into the chair behind the desk to look it over and decide what to do with it because it was still true. No matter what had happened, no matter what he thought, she would trade everything, every last thing these signed, sealed, and dated signatures on the papers, gave to her just to have him back! Just to go back to the life they'd had a year ago when he'd come back from Neverland and for one night everything had been perfect! Neal, Henry, the pair of them…it had been good.

But clearly not good enough for him.

She wiped her eyes as she went through the papers one more time. They'd both signed what they needed to sign, everything was ready to be turned in though, she supposed, in the end there really wasn't much too officially turn in to anyone. He would have acted as his own lawyer and probably just kept them handy in case they were ever needed. It never would have been needed. That hadn't been the point. At least she would have liked to believe that. But now...he'd signed everything so she figured that so long as the papers stayed with her she had the right to stay in her house and her library, to use her car, to show anyone that dared tell her she didn't belong here or there that she did!

But her name...

That was the one thing she would have had to turn in. Paper work to change her a name, or give her an identity in Storybrooke as he'd told her before. That was what started all this. Her request to be Belle Gold instead of just Belle. They'd filled out the paperwork but…no, she'd never really been Belle Gold. To the world she was but in his eyes she'd never made it that far. And in his heart…

She was just Belle again. And sure, she supposed if she felt like it she could claim her father's last name of French, as he'd once told her she should but…

Maybe later. Some other time she could do it, for now she was busy. She just wanted to get this all over with as fast as she possibly could. And if she was honest with herself, she just wasn't ready to think about these things at the moment. For now, as far as she was concerned the house, the car, the shop, the library, it all belonged to her. Her name was still Belle. And so long as no one saw the signed marriage certificate she held in her hand, so long as she never handed it over to anyone official…well, maybe she could just put these ten days behind her and decades from now no one would ever remember how she'd spent their brief time together. She would. She'd always remember and never forget. It was her burden to carry, but no one else had to join her in that.

She put the papers away in a drawer, out of sight out of mind but easy to remember in case she had to present them, then finished cleaning the office, but left it nearly intact. Of all the places in the house, it just wasn't practical to strip it bare of him like the rest of the house, but that didn't mean she had to look at it either. So she closed and locked the door to the office behind her when she left. She took the few things she never needed to see of his away, put them in a box in the basement with the rest of his belongings then locked the door, and the remains of him, behind her forever.

She wasn't crying. She was proud that she wasn't crying. But as she leaned against the door, doing her best to keep the memories to that one contained place, she couldn't help the fact that her eyes kept watering. Her actions hadn't made much difference from where she stood. The pawn shop had always been more like home to him than this place had. But the little that she left behind was enough to make her cry. His smell. How long would it take for that to fade? The dagger. What was she supposed to do with that? And the world outside these walls, the pawn shop...what would she do about the pawn shop?

She could close it. But the thought of that nearly broke her heart. The truth was that she loved that pawn shop just as much as he did. It had been a constant in her life, the one constant besides him since she escaped that terrible padded room. She could continue to run it she supposed. She probably should continue to run it. Some of the most dangerous magic in all of Storybrooke was probably contained there, she couldn't just let it sit there, unattended to rot. But getting rid of his memory there would be a lot more difficult than it had been here. Frankly she wasn't even committed to getting rid of his memory.

She should have been, she knew that. She knew that women scorned as she had usually weren't able to calmly and methodically pack up their lover's things and store them away safely as she had. Probably she should have lit a fire or tossed things in the garbage but…she just wasn't ready for that. His memory, however tarnished, was part of her, she wasn't ready to truly get rid of his things yet. For now the basement was enough. And the house…the house was finally hers.

That was what pulled a tear from the corner of her eye in the end. This house may have always been hers, but she'd never had to consider it was all hers before. That she'd live in it alone without any hope or chance of ever seeing him again. That she'd have to-

No. She was dwelling again. She couldn't dwell. If she dwelled she didn't know what she would do next. Something to eat. She wasn't hungry but maybe she could make cookies or cake or something that required precise measurements and would take all of her concentration. And if she had to drive to the store and buy ingredients…even better.

With that thought she sniffed her tears back and moved away from that dreaded door and into the kitchen. She narrowed and focused her thoughts, concentrating on her task before in a way she never had before. Baking power, a one cup measuring cup, flour, butter, dagger, three fourths a cup of milk, exactly two tablespoons of chocolate chips, a flash of the town line, one flat cookie sheet, a spoon, sad eyes, preheat the oven, and-

Would it never stop?!

Was she doomed to have him there in her head forever, to feel like he was looking over her shoulder, to wonder where he was and what he was doing?! Part of her still wanted to chase after him but fortunately her brain held her firmly in place there at the sink letting water pour past the tablespoon mark.

Purged or not she was stuck again.

Her head wouldn't let her go back to him, but her heart wouldn't let her go forward without him.

Just as she was bowing her head, preparing to shut the water off and give herself over to her grief and guilt and let the tears fall into the sink there was a sharp knock on the door that made her jump.

Life.

It didn't matter who was there or why. It was life calling to her. And she wanted so desperately to ignore it, to just fall to pieces here in the kitchen and listen to the sound of her shattered heart scarring over, but another more insistent knock told her that she couldn't, whoever it was, they weren't going away. That wasn't a terrible surprise. People didn't exactly come to The Dark One's House just as a curiosity. Which was why she had to answer that door. She had to show them, to prove to them and herself, this wasn't The Dark One's House. Not anymore. It belonged to her.

At the third knock she wiped her eyes and turned off the water before heading down the hall. The dagger was sitting out on the table…she hid it on instinct without a second thought to consider what or why she was doing. Then eased the door open a few inches and peered timidly around the corner to find David and Emma. Neither one looked happy, but while David just looked angry Emma looked downright furious and suddenly she wondered why it had taken them so long to come in the first place. If it was her, she'd have been here last night.

"Where is he?" Emma growled right away. She didn't need to clarify who she was talking about. But she did need to swallow, to take a deep breath, and remember to hold her head up high because she'd done what she'd done for a reason, for a good reason. Sad and guilt ridden as that reason had left her, she couldn't be ashamed of it right now.

"Not here," she answered confidently.

"Well, no offense but you mind if I come in and look around?" she asked. No. Asking would have assumed nothing. There was no choice in her voice. One way or another Emma and her father would search her home for Rumple. She may as well get it over with.

"No, not at all," she muttered opening the door and stepping away for them to enter. And enter they did. They both stormed in as if they lived there or stopped by on a regular basis, despite the fact that she was sure neither had ever been there. She did want them gone and she wanted them gone fast. She wasn't in the mood to be social in any way for any reason today. She was barely hanging on by a thread as it was, if they were here too long…

"The bedroom is up the stairs first door on your left!" she called shutting the door behind them. If she wanted them gone, she may as well help them leave as soon as possible. But whether or not they heard her she didn't know. She could hear their footsteps going room to room and every now and then the cadence of one of them muttering something to one another wound through the empty space but she didn't seek them out, just went back to the kitchen and looked at the mess she'd started before they'd come in.

What had she been doing?

Water. Tablespoons of water.

"His things are gone!" She turned back at the sound of Emma's voice. She stood there watching her in the kitchen, her eyes wide and there was a look of shock or maybe just sympathy on her face. She didn't know what Emma thought had happened, but she knew that it probably wasn't anything like what had actually happened.

"Not gone," she corrected, "just in the basement. If you'd been here earlier they would have been where he'd left them."

Emma opened her mouth but before she could say anything David came up behind her. The two made eye contact but he immediately shook his head, a message she translated easily enough to mean that he knew Rumple wasn't in the house. He never would be again. They could look all over Storybrooke but they'd never find him. And he'd never hurt another soul here as long as he lived.

"Look," Emma sighed turning back and stepping up to her, her spine straightening as if she was ready for a fight. She just didn't understand that there was no more fight to be had. It was over. All of it. "I wasn't here earlier because I figured you guys needed some space to hash it out in private. I gave you all the time I could but I can't just ignore what he did, or tried to do, to Killian. I'm the sheriff, this isn't the Enchanted Forest, we live in the real world and magic or not I can't let him get away with it this time! Where did he go?" she demanded.

"Belle, please," David said behind her, his voice gentler than her insisting one, "I know this is hard for you, but you have to understand-"

"He's not here anymore," she spat out before he could tell her what she did and did not have to understand. As far as she was concerned, no one understood better than her right now.

"I can see that," Emma responded. "I need to know where he went."

"I'm not sure," she answer honestly, a lump rising in her throat because she hadn't even considered the fact that outside of Storybrooke there were a million places that he could be and she'd never know from this point on which of those places he would ever call home.

"Okay, well…when he left did he say anything to you or give you any indication of where he was going to hide?" Emma prodded.

She didn't want to say the words but she couldn't exactly hide it. Who knew how much terror he'd caused behind her back, how many people besides Hook he'd tortured in Storybrooke, how many were afraid to go to sleep tonight because they might wake up to him. She couldn't keep it quiet forever, she couldn't keep it quiet for the day. The town, the people, they all deserved peace.

"He's not in Storybrooke anymore," she answered, her voice barely a whisper.

"Wait, what?!" Emma blanched after a moment of silence. Part of her expected that. It would be difficult to believe, especially after how devoted she'd been. But he hadn't been devoted to her and she was always going to be devoted to doing the right thing no matter what the personal cost.

"He's not in Storybrooke anymore," she repeated, swallowing back her tears. "I made him leave, last night, after we left for the town line…I went there to banish him from Storybrooke and our lives forever and...that's what I did."

"You…what?! How?!" Emma cried, her eyes wide with undeniable shock this time.

"With the dagger. We were never going to be safe with him here, he was never going to be able to stop, I had to protect Henry, all of us, for Neal. I had to do what needed to be done."

Emma's jaw fell open at her pronouncement. "You're telling the truth," she whispered, "I thought you were going there to talk, to scare him a little or give him an ultimatum not..." but Emma's voice trailed off as her eyes widened. She didn't know what to say to that, or how she should feel that it took Emma using her so called super power on her in order to believe her, but she knew she didn't like this conversation. "But…but you married him!" Emma breathed in disbelief. "He loves you!"

"And I love him, too!" she shouted back at the silly girl, catching herself last minute and taking a deep breath so that she could remember who the enemy truly was in all of this. It wasn't Emma. She understood she was shocked and needed the truth but that didn't change the fact that she wanted them to leave now. To just take her story for what it was and leave her in the misery she was doomed to have for the rest of her life! David and Mary Margaret, happily married with a child, Emma and Hook, just starting out…they'd never understand. They'd never had to and maybe never would. "Sometimes love isn't enough," she answered sadly as tears slid over her cheeks. "It wasn't strong enough to spare the town ultimatum or not."

"I don't believe that," David whispered, looking her over like she was some kind of terrible horrible monster. She understood that look. She remembered a time when she wouldn't have believed that either. But that didn't change the fact that it was the truth and she'd give anything to go back to the moment when she could believe love was enough for anyone, including The Dark One.

"Then I envy you," she whispered, crossing her arms over her chest so that she'd stand up straighter. "But I'm not willing to gamble with the town's safety, not again. It's a losing battle. I know that now. So...he's gone. He can't come back and he can't use magic beyond the town line. He's normal. Human. And all of us are safer and better for it…including me." And if she kept saying that then maybe she would believe it.

"Now…if you'll excuse me I'm not really feeling like company at the moment."

Emma shook her head, finally closed her mouth and blinked a couple of times as if she was just now beginning to understand it all. But that was impossible. "Yeah…" she breathed. "Yeah sure…we just…I didn't expect…"

"Are you sure you're going to be alright here…alone?" David asked taking a careful glance around the kitchen, to the baking she had strewn about the counter tops. It probably looked crazy, making cookies after what she'd done. She didn't care. She had to focus on herself for once. Because it was clear to her now that no one else ever had.

"No," she answered honestly. "But the only way I'll ever find out is if people stop trying to hold my hand."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! For those of you that are just checking out this fiction, welcome! For those of you who are a fan of the Moments Series, welcome back! I hope you'll enjoy this fiction. It's the 8th in the Moments Series, a series that is an attempt at an accurate portrayal of Belle's perspective during the Once Upon a Time series. This fiction features everything that happened in Storybrooke from the moment after Belle banishes Rumple in "Heroes and Villains" to the moment when Rumple has the darkness removed from him in "Operation Mongoose Part 2".
> 
> Because I am working to keep this series as accurate as possible, there might be changes made to this fiction, as needed. But I won't bore you with those details, if you really want them follow me on twitter at Montreat11 to be sure to never miss an update.
> 
> If you enjoy this fiction, please leave kudos or a comment! I always enjoy those wonderful gems waiting for me in my inbox and I love writing back to thank you personally for reading! It helps me know that I'm doing a decent job! Peace and Happy Reading!


	2. A Talk With the Dead

She had to get out of the house. Whether she wanted to face the world or not she certainly couldn't take this anymore. She was becoming paranoid, or hallucinating, or finally going crazy, she didn't know what was happening! All she knew what that she'd woken last night from a nightmare, or at least she assumed it was a nightmare, the first nightmare she'd had that she couldn't remember! She'd only just barely gone to bed when it woke her, a feeling in her chest and stomach that she'd only ever felt once before. Ripping! Like her soul was being torn into two! She'd pressed her hand to her chest to confirm that she wasn't dying, that her heart was still beating and found that it was. The feeling wasn't physical, it was something else and for a moment she'd panicked; gotten out of bed, threw her clothes on and been determined to go into town for the car because the only other time she'd ever had that feeling before was when he'd died and if he was dying now…

He wasn't. Only minutes later the ripping had ceased. Her body began to fill again with that wonderful feeling she'd experienced just before Neal had died and he'd come back to life before her eyes. It was just her imagination. The feeling sobered her and she stopped before she could reach the front door. It was only a nightmare, a very strange, very vivid nightmare. One that she couldn't remember? No, she'd refused to think of it anymore and gone back to bed, squeezing her eyes shut tight, pretended that she didn't wish he'd been right there next to her to soothe her back to sleep with his voice and his hands and his mouth.

She needed to get out of the house. She needed to rejoin society, even if it was only in a small way, she needed to talk to someone! So she decided to change the locks. It was silly, she knew it was right away. Changing the locks was a ritual that women with violent men in their lives had to go through. It wasn't for her because there was no chance that her violent man was ever going to be in her life again, but something about doing it made her feel normal. It made the situation feel normal and non-magical and necessary and at the end of the day at least it got her out of the house.

So she'd dressed for town that morning, shut the door behind her, and began her walk back into town. She had to get the car, it was still parked in the same place that she'd left it days ago when she'd returned to town packed for their extended honeymoon to New York City. She tried not to think about that. Instead she reminded herself that it wasn't just the car she needed but her other things too. Her bag, her wallet, her keys, it was all still there in that back room of her library where everything had gone so terribly wrong faster than she'd ever imagined it could! She focused on those things. Car, bag, locks. With every step that she took she repeated them. She'd started this trip so optimistic, so confident, but it had all faded away the moment she began to see people.

The moment she met their eyes and couldn't figure out what they were thinking about her. Did they know? Did the entire town know what had happened? What did they think of her? Did they think she was a hero for casting him out of her life, out of their lives? She hated to think about it that way. The curse had been a blessing to her in many ways, until the curse had taken over again anyway. But…she was sure they didn't think she was terrible. She was certain that the voices in her head that told her they were disgusted by what she'd done, that she'd failed at her marriage, that she just wasn't good enough were all her own voices and she wanted it to all stop.

The silence that the library offered was comforting for a moment. Until it was deafening. She could stay here forever, hide away within the shelves, take shelter from the world, but not from herself. She was tired of keeping it inside. She wanted and needed someone to talk to but she didn't want to explain her feelings to someone, she didn't want to make someone understand what she was going through she wanted someone who just knew, who already understood her! And she couldn't think of a single person that she could go to for that. Not someone already blissfully paired off, not Mary Margaret and David. Their happiness would choke her. Not Emma or Hook, she'd never really been close to them or even really liked the pirate. Certainly not Henry. Her father would surely only give her that look of "I told you so" and she wasn't ready to face that. Regina was someone who tolerated her and she worked well with but she'd hardly call her a friend. And Ruby…Ruby would have been the one. She would have been the one she went to after this. In fact, she was certain that after all this time Ruby would have just knocked on her door and barged right in as she always did when she needed her most. But Ruby was gone now. She was worlds away and as far as friends went...she really didn't have any others.

Weeks ago she'd had everything. Friends, family, a husband. Now…now she was back to having nothing. Her husband was gone. Her family had never really been hers in the first place and without him to act as the link she wondered if they would even consider her family anymore. If Henry would still look at her as if she was his grandmother or if she'd just become the local librarian. And her best friend in the entire world…

The idea came to her so quickly she secretly thought that it had been there from the beginning. There was someone that she was certain no one in town would think to tell of their separation, someone that she owed an explanation to, someone that had always understood her, always listened, and she believed loved her even when she was stubborn. She didn't think as she went into the back room, didn't look at the book or The Gauntlet with a false dagger hanging from it's fingertips, just picked up her bag and found her keys. She locked the library and completely forgot about the locks she'd gone to town to buy, instead she started the car. She just drove. Away from town, away from people, away from eyes and faces and smiles. She drove away from noise and into a different kind of silence. Sacred silence.

Neal's marker was easy to find. It always would be for her because as much as she loved his father she loved him so much that she knew part of her heart would always be tied to him, would always crumble when she saw his name etched in grey and the words about a beloved son beneath them. He was to her. The last piece of Rumple that she had, that she'd always had! And just like the house, she secretly felt that Neal, not Baelfire, would always be more hers than his.

"Um…Hi," she breathed, looking down at the little thing, the poor excuse for the man she loved so dearly. Her heart was breaking all over again staring down at it and she felt herself sink to her knees. Maybe this was a bad idea. She wanted Neal. She wanted him back, she wanted to talk to him like she'd only ever been able to do with him! Being reminded of his death so soon after Rumple, maybe she shouldn't have come.

She sniffled a little as she stared, wondering what, if anything she needed to say next. It felt awkward, looking and talking to the air. Her father had always told her that whenever she needed to talk to her mother she could always go to her grave and she'd hear her but that had always been just as awkward as this felt. She'd never succeeded at that. And now Neal…

He wasn't a headstone to her. To her he was alive, flesh, blood, salt and pepper hair. He was warm and friendly and understanding and this tombstone, it just wasn't Neal. It wasn't what she needed right now, it wasn't how she wanted to remember him. She wanted to remember him as he had been, forever with her, it was silly, she knew it was, but with a deep breath she closed her eyes because she knew that she could see him, the Neal that she knew, there in her head if she only refused to look at that terrible reminder.

He was there.

In her mind he stood just behind the grey rock with his name on it, hands shoved into his pockets, weight shifting on his toes, he gave her a small knowing smirk, like he'd always known she was going to show up and had been waiting for her all this time.

"Hey," he muttered sauntering over and offering his hand to her. She took it without hesitation and he pulled her once more to her feet just as he had so long ago. That was what she needed now.

"Hi," she answered in a small voice. It felt strange, just standing there, looking at him, but after a moment she just couldn't resist the urge to reach forward and hug him, to bury her head in his chest, to let the tears that slipped from her eyes fall down over her nose and into his shirt as he held her secure against his chest.

"I'm sorry," she choked out after a while. They'd never exactly hugged this way in all their time together, they'd never done this when he was alive because it always made him uncomfortable, but this…this was necessary. And she liked to believe that if he was here he wouldn't mind giving this type of comfort.

"Hey, it's alright," he assured her with a gentle squeeze. After a moment he released her with a small smirk, "I've seen worse," he commented before taking a seat on his own tombstone.

She smiled. That was the Neal she knew, no respect the dead, not even for his own grave. And his remark…it was true. He'd seen her when she'd been an emotionless shell of a human being beyond tears last year. If she was still capable of crying, of driving here on her own to see him, then she wasn't as far gone as before.

"I'm, uh…I'm sorry I didn't bring flowers or anything," she commented taking a seat next to him on the grey rock. If he was doing it, then she supposed that she could get away with it, even if it was uncomfortable.

"Yeah well it's the thought that counts right," he shrugged. "I'm sure they would have been nice."

"You never struck me as someone that would have enjoyed them," she answered honestly.

"Nah, but I'd have appreciated the gesture." At least he was honest. A trait he obviously hadn't inherited from him-

It was such a spiteful thought that it sent her reeling. She didn't want to be like that. She didn't want to be spiteful or unforgiving or cruel especially when his son was around. But Neal wasn't just his son. Rumple had admitted it himself in their short time as husband and wife. She'd spent more time with his son than he had. So she figured it was natural, for him to feel more like her friend than he did his son. But still…at the end of the day Rumpelstiltskin was his father. And that required delicacy.

"Neal…something…something's happened and I…I wanted to tell you about it myself-"

"I already know, Belle," he sighed next to her, his words making her glance up at him in surprise.

"You do?" she questioned.

He nodded. "I know what you know." Of course he did. She'd forgotten he wasn't really here, that this was all just in her head, his face his voice, none of it was real. But it felt real. And after the ordeal she'd been through she just couldn't help but indulge in it a little while longer. She needed him.

"I just couldn't let him stay. I promised you I'd look after Henry and if he was around…it was just too dangerous. He had good intentions Bae, but his power…"

"It blackens his heart and tends to hurt the people he cares most about protecting more than others."

She nodded. Neal always understood. "I just don't know how it got this bad…how I didn't see it-"

"Look," he whispered reaching over and taking her hand in his. "I trust you, alright. I trust your judgement more than I ever trusted my father's, you know that. If you're sure that this is the only way, then I know that it was the only way. You're helping my son and I can't fight you on that. But I stand by what I said before. You deserve better, I don't want you to be haunted by this. I want you to go out and find better."

She shook her head and let the tears roll over her cheeks. Was this all in her head? Because she was sure that she hadn't imagined anything like that, but she was sure that Neal would have. "I don't know if I can ever find better. Part of me already regrets it. Part of me still misses him. I think I always will…"

"I know. Even after everything I did I always missed Emma, even if I knew it was what was best for her. It doesn't really go away but…one way or another you've got to move on. You can't change the past. All you can do now is try and make the future what you want it to be."

She shook her head at his comment. The future. She couldn't even begin to conceive of what the future looked like right now. Only days ago it had been bright and blessed and full of long happy years together and maybe even children! Now…now it just looked dark. Not as dark as it once had, when she'd lost him to death, but now she was truly without him in every way. Beyond this head stone, she just didn't know where to turn.

"I don't have you to hold me up like I did last time," she whispered.

"Yeah, well, first of all you didn't need me to hold you up last time," Neal insisted beside her.

She shook her head again. That just wasn't true! "No, last time I-"

"Last time you would have been just fine on your own eventually," he insisted again. "You're strong. Stronger than you even know. And last time, after the shock of it all wore off you would have eventually brushed yourself off. I know you would have. I mean…who knows you like I do right?" One person. One person in the entire world knew her as well as Neal. But she'd never see him again. Ever. "And second of all…" Neal went on almost sadly. "You still have me, you know. You'll always have me. And hey, look on the bright side, now that I'm dead you have access to me twenty-four seven, more than you did before."

She could hear the humor in his voice but still didn't appreciate the comment because she knew that the moment she opened her eyes…it just wouldn't be the same as having him like she once did. "That's not funny," she insisted.

"Yeah, no, I know it's not," he admitted awkwardly, a look of regret on his face.

"I miss you," she told him, glancing over at the eyes she knew so well by memory it was easy to forget that he wasn't really here. "I miss you, a lot. All the time."

"Yeah…let's face it, I mean, I'm pretty unforgettable, right."

That was a funny comment and for once she allowed herself to be caught up in the small chuckle he drew from her as he bumped against her shoulder playfully, the way a brother would tease a sister, the place their relationship had always started. But her small fragment of happiness only lasted for a moment before the reality of it all crept back in. "I miss this. You and me. I miss having someone to talk to, someone who understands me the way you do."

"I'm sure you'll find someone else to talk to. There are a lot of people in Storybrooke I'm sure one of them can relate."

She shook her head. "Not as well as you."

"Yeah…" he sighed, "but, you know…the point I tried and failed miserably to make before…I'm always around," he assured her gently. "Whenever you need to talk…I'm here."

Almost. She could almost let herself believe that this was real. But it wasn't. In a few seconds she'd open her eyes and she'd be confronted with real life, not a fantasy in her head or wishful thinking. And reality just didn't include Neal anymore.

"You're not real," she informed him, though it was really herself she was telling, reminding, she supposed.

"I'm as real as you make me," he countered. "You know…I've never exactly been one for the whole guardian angel thing but the good thing about not being real is that it doesn't matter what I think. If you believe it…then I believe it too."

And before she could think, before she could stop herself, she opened her eyes. She was still there, kneeling at the grave, wet grass soaking through to her skin. In front of her was a tombstone. And nothing else. She was alone. That thought brought a fresh wave of tears to her eyes and she bit back a loud cry.

She knew Neal. He wouldn't have wanted the flowers and he wouldn't have wanted her to cry. He'd want her to pick herself up, like he knew she was capable of, and go home.

And that is what she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I miss the Neal/Belle relationship so much! And what I made it in Moments Exchanged was something so special that it had to carry over into more than just one or even two fictions. I really wanted her to have this conversation with him here. I wanted to show how well she knows him, how much she still loves him, and how she claims ownership to him in a way that Rumple can't. Note, that doesn't mean Rumple doesn't either. There is a claim that Rumple has on Bae that Belle can't ever have, but the relationship that Belle had with Neal...that was special. Just as special as Rumple and Baelfire's relationship only in a different way. I wanted to showcase that here. Rumple and Bae never got to have this kind of relationship through no fault of his own and I do believe that in part it contributed to what he did in 4A. And this conversation...I feel like here she is really beginning to mourn Baelfire in a way that she didn't before with Rumple and that's a good thing for her. Oh, also, timeline notice, this is about 4 days after the last chapter. I'm going to cover these "six weeks" and then we will get into the main 4B storyline!
> 
> Thank you to Claire, Goodies2, TJfan, and TSMenninger for your comments on the last chapter and for joining me for the duration of this fiction. Stick with me ya'll, I'm not saying things will get better for Belle tomorrow, but we will get to the end of this thing and I hope that along the way you will find something you like! Peace and Happy Reading!


	3. At Least

Try to find someone to talk to. She didn't have to succeed she just had to try. Unfortunately all trying every really got her was a broken heart and a return to home as she fought the urge to go back to the gravesite. Going back to talk to Neal wasn't going to help her in her day to day life. It would only make her just as crazy as she'd once been told she was sitting in an asylum and she refused to do that.

So she tried.

Granny first. Ruby would have been easier but since she'd made friends with Ruby, Granny had been a part of her life. She was crusty enough to push her and yet soft enough to be warm and inviting no matter what. Besides, she'd always thought of her as a bit of a adopted Grandmother, maybe with Ruby gone she needed a granddaughter. So she told Granny what happened one night at the Bed and Breakfast when the Lost Boys were snug in their beds. And while she could see that Granny didn't exactly understand what she was going through at least she tried to understand. Sometimes that was good, other times she found herself thinking bitter thoughts about that. People could try to understand, that didn't necessarily mean they would. No one ever would understand it unless they lived it.

Perhaps the person that she found she could talk to easiest was her father. She'd debated endlessly to the point of torment how she wanted to handle telling her father what had been done, but in the end she had been the one to give him a call because she wasn't going to let pride or Rumpelstiltskin or anything stand in the way of her only blood family in town now. So she called. They scheduled a lunch together and under Granny's watchful and supportive eyes, she talked. She told him the gruesome tale from beginning to end and in the end her father hadn't been half as upset or angry as she thought he'd be. At the very least she had expected him to say "I told you so" in some form or another, but he didn't. He just let her talk all the way through lunch, out the door, and down to his little flower shop. And when they were done and had arrived he'd given her a lily and told her to come by any time she needed him.

Since then they'd had lunch together every couple days or so and they chose to ignore the topic all together. But somehow that was almost worse than talking about it or hearing "I told you so". He asked her about the library and Granny and the house and just about every topic that wasn't Rumpelstiltskin. They'd spent fifteen minutes talking about her hair one afternoon. And in the back of her mind he was there. An untouchable dark spot, a blemish on her heart that was given attention just by avoiding him. She had thought her father would help. But after a couple of weeks it just wasn't worth it anymore. Instead of inflicting that torture on them over and over again she'd told him that she was busy and that maybe it would be a good idea if they just had a standing lunch date every couple of weeks and he'd agreed quickly. Maybe he felt the same strange awkwardness that she felt. And she...

She hadn't lied. She was busy. The library was up and running again. She'd had it shut for nearly two weeks while she had mourned but eventually decided that if she wanted to talk to people she had to find something else besides her husband to talk to them about. The library provided that for her as it always had. It was her salvation. So was the local middle school that had assigned its seventh graders a project to read an author's autobiography and then three books by the same author in order to show how the authors life had effected their writing. It was exactly the thing she needed to keep herself busy, helping the kids, handing out library cards, making sure the parents were entertained…that gave her plenty to do; plenty to talk about. And when she found out that the name of the teacher that had suggested such a project was Mary Margaret…she was grateful. They were giving her space, which she appreciated, but she liked to think that she'd done it on purpose for her as well. To help her through the dark and give her back some semblance of a new life. It wasn't the one that she'd had, certainly wasn't the one that she'd shared with them, but it was something at least.

Things were fine. Nothing was great, but it certainly wasn't as bad as she would have expected it to be only two weeks later. At least now she felt in control of herself. At least she had a life that was hers. At least she didn't have to wonder what was real or fake or true or false. What she saw was what she got. Which was probably why she'd started reading again. Everywhere she went she tucked a book under her arm. They were spread out on every table in the house at the library there were even two nestled in the car. She'd forgotten how much she loved to read, how it could take her away from a dull existence and transplant her into a set of problems that she only needed to worry about until she closed the book and on days like today, when she went to Granny's for lunch but she was too busy to talk it gave her something to do as the world shifted and turned unpredictably around her. It was good. It was nice. It was-

"You have some nerve!"

The words caught her off guard. She'd had her eyes down in her book for so long she hadn't even noticed that someone had come to stand by her table. In all honesty she was used to blocking out noises and sounds, but what struck her as odd was that no one was defending themselves against the accusation and when she looked up from her book she was confronted with the face Regina. The person she was making the accusation against was her! And Regina...she had a smile on her face that she hadn't seen in over a year. It was false and nasty. It was a smile of complete and total bewilderment and shock. And behind her eyes, anger flickered unpredictably making her nervous.

"Regina, I…I um…" She honestly didn't know what to say to the woman. She hadn't seen her, not for weeks, not since the Spell of Shattered Sight had been cast. Of course she'd heard from Granny about what had happened with Robin Hood and Marian, how they'd left Storybrooke the day Rumple had because the magic killing Marian would have no hold over her there, but this was the first time in what felt like a very long time that she was seeing Regina. And it was clear that this reunion wasn't happy.

"It's all true isn't it," she glared down at her. "You did it, didn't you?! You really did it and now you're just sitting here having lunch and reading a book as if nothing has changed? As if everything is perfectly fine?!"

The voices in the diner had quieted to a hush and she was aware of people looking over at the two of them. She didn't want to do this. Not here, not now, but if she didn't…

"I think we can both agree that nothing is perfectly fine anymore."

"Don't be smart with me," she snapped quickly, her nose turning up as if disgusted. She didn't know what Rumple and Regina had been exactly. Friends was the wrong word. Enemies was not right. But she knew that she'd cared for Rumpelstiltskin in some way. They both seemed to have respected and even feared each other on a certain level. And yet she was here? Now? Hadn't she heard about all this days, weeks ago even?! Why was she here now?

"Regina," she sighed, "Maybe…maybe we should talk outside," she suggested, trying to find her bag to remove them from the-

"No!" she responded quickly, suddenly moving to sit in the booth across from her. "No, I want and explanation! And it better be a good explanation as to why you would toss a man that loves you as much as he did over the town line without so much as a-"

"He was a threat," she insisted, trying to lower her voice. "I couldn't risk Henry's life-"

"I can handle Henry…and Rumpelstiltskin," she insisted. "What I can't handle, what I just can't seem to understand no matter how much I try…he loved you! You could have gone with him! The pair of you could have started a life together outside this town, no magic, no curse, and yet here you sit reading a book as if nothing ever happened!"

"A lot happened."

"And is it really that easy to just give it all up?!"

"No!" she snapped back at her, a fire igniting somewhere in her chest at the very suggestion that this was easy. "It's not easy," she corrected. "It hurts, every day, every hour, every minute!"

"Then why not leave?!" she stressed. "You can do that. You don't have anything holding you down to Storybrooke and there is nothing standing in your way, nothing stopping you! You can go and be with him outside of Storybrooke. You don't have to be alone! Why don't you do it?"

"It's not that simple," she excused.

"The hell it's not!" she shook her head, then slid out of the booth. "If you can then you should. It's the simplest thing in the world!" And without another word she walked past her, out of her line of sight, and through the door to Granny's leaving her sitting in her booth stunned…and strangely unwilling to let it end there. She understood. She knew why Regina was saying what she was saying, why she was using those words, but she couldn't let this continue. She was tired of being a punching bag for the Evil Queen every time something didn't go her way or she was having a bad day! She didn't bother to pay her bill or finish lunch, or even touch the piece of chocolate cake Granny had given her, she just launched herself out of her seat and out the door after her. She hadn't made it far, just outside of Granny's property on the sidewalk.

"Isn't it that simple for you?!" she cried catching up to her.

Regina stopped in her footsteps. "How dare you?" she hissed turning back to her.

"It should be that simple for you," she went on ignoring her challenge. "Robin Hood is out there, just beyond the line! You love him and he loves you, I could see it every time you looked at each other. Just because Marian is around it doesn't change that you are the one he wants! But you can't go after him. Because of Roland because of Henry. It's just not that simple. The idea that love is simple is a lie! Love just isn't enough sometimes. He loves me and I love him but that love isn't strong enough to overcome what he did to me. Magic or not the Dark One is still in his blood and if I can't trust my own husband with my life, if I can't trust that he'll value me over his power…how can I be with him?" she concluded. "I can't be…I  _won't_  be with him. And I won't leave my friends or my family or my life here in Stroybrooke behind just to go off and force him to make the choice he never made but I made every single day of my life. I won't lower myself to accepting second best. He had to choose it on his own and he didn't. He couldn't. It's not that simple...it never was. It turns out I'm just the last person to see it."

Regina was quiet for a long time as she looked her over, maybe considering what she'd said, maybe trying to think of something to say, she didn't care. All she cared about was that she'd had her say. Didn't Regina know that she'd asked herself precisely what she had every single day? That whenever she got into the car she felt an itch to go over the town line, find him again, and live out their life in peace?! Didn't she understand that was different than love? That was settling. Going with him, believing in him, marrying him, it had all been a gamble every single day since she'd met him! She'd put everything into him. She wouldn't stand by and let him put his everything into magic and power while she begged for scraps of him. She still had her dignity. He wouldn't let her take that from her. Never.

"He loved you," Regina pointed out stubbornly as if it was the only thing that she needed to say to make sense to her, but the fire had gone out of her eyes and fierce hardness in her face had vanished.

"I know. And there will always be a part of me that loves a part of him," she answered. She didn't know if she understood, but for now she didn't have to worry about Regina causing her trouble. If anything she didn't think she'd ever have to worry about her again because she'd probably avoid her. "But it is better this way. For everyone. Including you and Henry."

"What did you do with the dagger?"

She reeled at the question that seemed to have come out of nowhere. They'd gone from love to that dagger again without a hint of why. It was at home, still safely tucked away in a drawer, though she honestly didn't know why. "It's safe with me."

"Is it hidden?" the Queen pried.

"It doesn't need to be-"

Regina snorted and shook her head as if what she'd just said was funny in some way. "Rumpelstiltskin, magic or no magic, will always be the most cunning creature in this or any realm. Storybrooke has the two things he wants most. Power. And love," she pointed out looking her over. "As long as you and Henry and that piece of metal are in this town he'll find a way back. I wouldn't put anything past that imp. If you think the dagger is safe in your bag or hidden under a pillow, then you really don't know Rumpelstiltskin."

And with that she moved around her and walked the other direction. She didn't watch her go, just stayed there frozen on the street as her mouth went dry.

Regina was right. She hated to admit it or think about it, but Regina had spoken the truth. How had she never noticed that before now? How had she missed what he was capable of? No matter what happened she knew him better than anyone and she knew that he'd go wherever there was power and if there was power here…

No. No it wasn't possible! She'd cast him out, she commanded he leave! The town was hidden there was no way to get around that! Was there? Emma had found the town. Henry had come and gone more times than she even knew. Ingrid, Sarah Fischer, she'd managed to get in. Michael, John, Greg, Tamara, the streets of Storybrooke were suddenly filled with the faces of people who shouldn't be here! If they could do it, the least powerful among them…he could too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a little bit more than a week has passed since she sent Rumple over the town line and I wanted this chapter to really clear up a few things. In ME&U someone suggested that Regina would be Belle's best friend because she would understand what she was going to. Well...all due respect...but I think that would be poppycock. I mean really, since when has Regina ever been "understanding". When the going gets tough she struggles to maintain her new-found sense of peacefulness. And where Belle is concerned...why would she take Belle's side? I mean really, why would she side with her, the woman she kept locked up in her tower for years over the man that taught her magic? She wouldn't. I think if the circumstances were different than she would have gone with Robin Hood and Roland in a heartbeat and so when she looks at Belle she sees herself in her and gets angry that she didn't go. I think last season Rumbelle really gave Regina hope in a way and the fact that Belle dashed that hope against a rock...do you really think she would handle that well? I doubt it!
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	4. Neither Out of Sight Nor Out of Mind

She felt overwhelmed. Overwhelmed and busy and frankly just exhausted! It had been three days since her run in with Regina, since Regina had posed an important oversight and last night her days of keeping the dagger at home in a drawer had ended. It should have been nothing, it should have meant nothing to her, Rumpelstiltskin was gone the dagger was just an ordinary piece of metal now! It was just a thing! And yet she still couldn't get the old days out of her head. She'd been careful with it. She'd put a small hand shovel in the pocket of her jacket and waited until it was dark, close to midnight to leave the house, through the back instead of the front. She didn't take the car, despite the fact that it would have been quicker, she didn't want the lights to come on and rouse anyone from sleep. She walked to the beach on her own that night, to roughly the same place that she'd taken Ariel to get her back to Neverland. And after looking around her for any sign of light or life, any indication that someone might have been watching her or followed her, she knelt down and began to dig.

It didn't take long. She'd already spent a day or so looking at charts of the tides and figuring out where it would be safest. Though she supposed in the end she had taken more time than necessary. Especially when it came to putting the thing in there! She looked around twice for any sign of life, pulled it from her coat, spent what felt like five minutes just staring at the name written on it, before a breeze had lifted the hair on the back of her neck and she'd finally covered it in a sandy colored cloth and plopped it down. She covered it with sand then covered the sand with a few pieces of dead seaweed and driftwood she'd found lying around. It was her own version of "X" marks the spot and she hoped that no one else would notice that if they wandered around the area.

It was done. Buried, somewhere safe and secure. At least she hoped it was. And with that she quickly walked back home and finally piled into bed again. Naturally she'd woken up late. Later than her usual late even. And she'd spent what was left of the morning hastily dressing for work and driving to the library. She did what was required of her before lunch. Unlock the door. Restock shelves. Answer a question or two for the couple of people that managed to wander in. Worried about the dagger.

She told herself she didn't have to. That it was perfectly safe. As far as she was concerned if someone had managed to follow her that night or figure out its location they deserved to find the thing. Not that it would do much, worthless as it was. But still, throughout the day she found herself wondering why out of sight didn't exactly put it out of mind.

From her place among the shelves she heard the front door open and close. The library wasn't a terribly busy place at the moment and it wouldn't be until after school ended and the kids came to continue working on their projects. Frankly, she was used to not having anyone come in between lunch and dismissal, it gave her a break and time to clean where she could. But there was always time for her customers. So long as those customers weren't seeking out books on magical daggers, she was willing to-

She stopped in her place as she finally spied the stranger that had wandered into her domain. A stranger to the library. Not to her. "Rapunzel?" she questioned, catching the wandering eye of the woman.

"Belle!" she breathed, a happy smile falling over her overwhelmed looking face. The woman easily and quickly closed the distance between the two of them and threw her arms around her in a joyful greeting. "It's so good to see you again!" she exclaimed. Perhaps too joyful.

"It's uh…it's good to see you too!" she smiled pulling away from her. They hadn't exactly been good friends during their time together in the Enchanted Forest but they surely weren't enemies. Though in all honesty she was a bit embarrassed to admit she'd thought very little about the girl since she'd left Regina's castle with her parent's months ago. It made sense that she was here, that the curse had worked on her this time around, she really just hadn't thought to go out and find her.

"How are you?" she asked looking her over.

The girl offered a small sigh and nodded her head a couple of times. "Adjusting," she answered. "Getting used to all this, well…it takes some time."

She nodded. Rapunzel hadn't been carried over by the first curse, she wouldn't understand everything that was happening but she had her parents to help her. Just like she'd had-

"Don't worry," she assured her, looking for the perfect excuse to move her thoughts in a different direction. "It takes some effort at first but you'll get there. Your parents will help you!"

She nodded. "They've been wonderful since we got here, especially after I had no memory of…anything really. One minute I was in a tower and the next I was here with my parents...free! It was bittersweet in a way."

She could understand that as well. Her memory of the last year, of David rescuing her would have been gone. But in the end she'd been back with her parents. She imagined that would have been a very difficult transition, but only for the few days before their memories came back. "Well uh…what, what can I do for you now?" she asked looking her over. "Did you need a book or information or…"

Rapunzel's face fell with the proclamation. "No, actually, something a little bit different. You see…my mother doesn't know I'm here, my father sent me. Her birthday is coming up and…there was this pendant my brother used to have, our families crest. He wore it on a chain around his neck until the day he died and my mother always held it close to her heart especially after he'd gone but here…it's not in the house we have. I'm so sorry to ask so soon, especially after…after everything but…my father told me that if I really wanted to find it I should find you and ask for your help in locating it."

She only shook her head, not following her train of thought. "There's nothing like that here," she informed her. "If it was a book maybe I could help but-"

"All due respect," she interrupted quickly, "but I didn't get the impression that my father thought you'd have it in  _this_ building. Though it is lovely! Don't get me wrong, it's beautiful, I guess this is where people in this world go to read? I always loved books, I wish there were more of them in my tower…" she didn't listen as Rapunzel prattled on because she'd finally worked out in her mind what she'd been trying to say. She had access to the pendant. But it wasn't in her library. It was in another building she owned. One she had keys to.

The Pawn Shop.

She hadn't been over there since…well not since that day when Henry had accidentally uncovered The Gauntlet. Strange. The dagger was safely tucked away and yet she thought about it all day, the shop however was right across the street…and she'd barely paid it a second glance since then. She wasn't avoiding it, at least she didn't think she was, but now that she thought about it she wasn't particularly eager to go back over there. She loved the pawn shop. Truly she did. But it was different than the house, even when she'd kept it up thinking that he was dead. It was hers, but it was always truly his in every way. Going over there…that would be a betrayal of a different kind. Wouldn't it?

But then again, she couldn't just let what was over there sit on its own. There were powerful items in there, magical items. And apparently items of sentimental value. No. If the pendant was in fact there, she couldn't just let it sit there to rot. Rapunzel, her mother, deserved to have that little memento of her son.

"So…was my father right?" Rapunzel asked after a few moments, looking at her with anticipation. "Can you help me?"

Slowly she felt herself nod. "Yes. Yes, of course," and without a thought she grabbed her keys up from the place she stowed them during the day. Together she and Rapunzel walked across the street to the building and for the first time in weeks she peered in through the windows, wondering what haunting reminders of the past it would have. The last time they'd been in here together they'd been happy. He'd been waking her up from the curse, they'd been planning their trip to New York, and all the while he'd been planning…something else. She still wasn't sure what. She hadn't had the courage to ask and she certainly hadn't stopped that night to figure out what he was doing. Lying. Killing. Abusing his own power as well as manipulating her. That was all that had mattered then. Part of her feared those were the worst of his sins, another part of her hoped they weren't.

"What is this place exactly?" Rapunzel questioned, startling her from her gaze.

"Oh," she stammered, following the girls gaze up to the sign hanging just above the door. She'd asked nearly the same question when she'd first "arrived" as well. "It's uh…it's a Pawn Shop. Something this world has. A place to barter and trade for objects and money, that sort of thing," and before she could stop to think about it once more she unlocked the door and stepped inside.

"And my father thinks my brothers pendant is here?" she questioned skeptically.

"Everything is here," she whispered quietly looking around the place. It still smelled like him. It always would smell like him no matter what. And she honestly didn't know if she wanted to stop and savor that smell, or figure out a way to get every last bit of it out with all the dust that had accumulated over the last couple of weeks.

They worked quickly. She asked Rapunzel to describe the pendant and set her in front of the glass cases to look for it while she sorted through the inventory cards for anything that matched the description she gave and after a few moments she was happy to pull out a card with a pendant on it, rubies, sapphires, and diamonds placed together perfectly. That was it, Rapunzel confirmed. She located it based off what the card said, just as she would locate a book with a call number, and after a happy exchange that included tears on Rapunzel's behalf she sent her away looking overwhelmingly happy. And it felt…good.

Alone in the shop, Rapunzel holding her hand over her mouth in wonder as she stared at the pendant while she walked down the street and it felt right. Almost as right as it had after he'd left for Neverland only this time…this time he wasn't coming back. He couldn't. She'd made sure of that.

This shop…it was his home, it always had been but as she examined the dusty tables and glass cases she couldn't help but wonder if maybe the shop was a victim too. It should have been his home. It should have been something that he could pour his heart and soul into. Making deals, collecting junk, tinkering, turning something average into something extraordinary, that was what he'd always done best! The two of them they could have made a living here, in this shop. He could have let it be part of their future and instead…instead he'd chosen magic over his shop. He'd neglected it. Instead of building memories here with her, with Henry even, he'd done magic here. Instead of working long nights he'd stayed up in his basement, curled up with golden straw and string and other things that certainly weren't her! And things that certainly had nothing to do with running this pawn shop.

She moved into the back of the quiet building, to the cot that she'd slept on, the tables she'd organized, the shelves she'd rearranged. Her. Not him. He'd been away and she'd poured her own heart and soul into it in his absence. Then given it back to him with the hopes that it would be looked after but now…

It was silly. The shop wasn't a person! It wasn't alive, it didn't have a heartbeat or think or feel but in her mind it felt like a child. It felt like a child in the same way her library had. With none of their own maybe they had been their children. How could she not have seen before now? How could she not have realized?! It was an orphan. Something in plain sight that she had managed to neglect too. Neglected first by Rumpelstiltskin then left to rot by her.

That was terrible.

She took a deep breath as she sat down on her cot and looked it all over again. So much magic. So many many objects. Lots of dark relics but also good ones! Pendents and swords, mobiles and clocks, ugly old dolls and even magic wands, they needed to be protected. They needed to be accessible to those who had once owned them. They needed to be cared for until their owners found them and safeguarded so that no one like her husband ever got to them again!

She had to open the shop again. She needed something like this to keep her mind off the dagger. It needed her to give it the attention it deserved.

They needed each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did everyone enjoy seeing Rapunzel again? I hope so because she's going to start to show up a lot more often in the chapters to come. This seemed not just the perfect way to reintroduce her character and catch us up on what she has been doing since the curse set in but also a way to get Belle back over to the pawn shop. We know so little about what happened in the six weeks that Rumple was absent from town, we just have this start point where we see that things have in fact taken place and begun to resemble something like normalcy and peace...I'm attempting to show Belle getting "back in the swing of things" as it were with these chapters. And...something for her is obviously still missing.
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	5. Old Enough to Never Understand

There was a lot to do. But she was happy to be busy. Keeping busy was good because as long as she kept busy she had something on her mind and as long as she had something on her mind then she knew who wasn't on her mind. As long as she kept busy she knew she wasn't constantly wondering about where he was, what he was doing, where he was going. She knew that she wasn't thinking of picking up and leaving Storybrooke to go find him so they could live their life together in a world where magic didn't complicate things, just as Regina had said. That would certainly be the easy thing to do. But she lived in a world where magic had complicated things and she knew that going out there to find him, forgive him, and spend a lifetime with him forcibly removed from magic was not the way that she deserved to spend her life. She wanted someone that wanted to be with her more than anything in the world. There was a time that she believed that he had wanted that. Now she knew better.

So it was back to work. Because if she couldn't have the life that she wanted with him then she'd make her own. The library was one thing, this shop was going to be another. It was a legacy. Her legacy now. And she was beginning to think that it had always been meant for her! Who else could it be for?

At that moment the bell that hung over the door to the shop rang and at first glance she thought that school was out and someone had come over to get her to open the library back up and get started on their progress. On second glance…she thought that in a town where magic complicated everything she'd have learned to be careful what she wished for by now.

"Henry!" she gasped, looking at him standing there in his jacket with his book bag slung over his shoulder. He wasn't one of the kids that had dropped by to see her and work on the project. She'd later found out that he wasn't in that grade and she wasn't sure if she'd been relieved or not. She hadn't been avoiding him since she'd sent his Grandfather across the line but she hadn't exactly been upset that they hadn't crossed paths either. She just…she honestly wasn't sure what to say to him.

"I'm…uh…I'm-I'm sorry, I uh…I wasn't expecting you and you startled me," she finally managed to choke out through a smile.

"Oh! Yeah, sorry about that," he smiled back. "I was on my way home from school and saw the shop was open and I thought I'd drop in."

She nodded and tried not to act so surprised at his friendly disposition. After all she'd never known him to be anything other than friendly. So…why had she not sought him out herself after it all happened? It seemed silly suddenly to be tongue tied by Neal's son. "Yeah…it was…it was time," she concluded. "Is…is there something I can help you with?"

"Yeah, actually," he confirmed stepping further into the shop and making his way toward the counter. "I just wondered if…you know, before, I was working here and it was kinda fun. And quiet. Really, really quiet. So, I was just sort of wondering, if since the store is opening up again, I could…maybe have my old job back again? Maybe minus the suit and tie?"

"Oh!" She'd nearly forgotten that Henry had worked here. Not long. He'd only been here a few times that she'd come in the couple of weeks that her marriage had lasted. But…he had worked here she supposed. And there were worse things than having a job at his age. Not to mention the help would be appreciated and if he was here, requesting a job of her, then how upset could he really be? "Yes!" she finally spat out maybe a little too enthusiastically. "Yes, absolutely!" Why not? It certainly wouldn't hurt anyone. And she could pay him for…now that she thought about it the pair of them had never actually talked about when Henry would be working for him or how much he'd be making. Not surprising, apparently they hadn't talked about a lot in their time together. But now she wanted things to go back to normal though, for as many people in this town as she could. Henry included.

"What, uh…what exactly was your arrangement with…with…" the grandfather that she'd banished from the city to ensure his safety. There was really no good way to bring him up between them without muddying the water. Her ex-husband, his grandfather, Rumpelstiltskin…she felt awkward using any name for him between the two of them.

"Weekends and every Wednesday after school," Henry provided quickly enough, sensing her discomfort. That was a smart, merciful thing to do. And that schedule, it was perfect. Not too much for him and enough that she could find enough jobs and tasks for him throughout the week to keep him occupied…unless, of course, Rumpelstiltskin had been right before he'd gone away and working in the Pawn Shop hadn't been all that the boy was interested in. He'd ignored it, then. To him it was a great mystery that he'd wanted to find out for himself while spending time with his grandson, but for her…well, she was tired of mysteries.

"Henry…why did you want this job, exactly?"

"To help me learn about business and magic and stuff," he answered, but it was a lie. Though the language was meant to sound casual it sounded too forced and practiced for something like that. She knew. And she knew that he knew it too. So without a word, knowing he'd been discovered the boy sighed and slid his backpack off of his shoulders. With a sigh he pulled out his story book, the one that he'd shown her before, with all their stories written into it, including his mother's.

He set it carefully down on the counter and gave it a little shove in her direction. "I was hoping that maybe Grandpa might know who the author was."

"The author?" she questioned, her eyes automatically looking it over for a name. It had none. She should have known that, magic was never that simple.

"Of the book," Henry clarified. "Then maybe they could write my mom a happy ending instead of…unhappy ones."

"Oh," she remembered now, how they'd talked about that before, the strange way that Regina seemed cursed to always have an unhappy ending no matter what good happened to her. Then she'd seen it as ridiculous. Now, knowing what happened with Robin Hood…she might actually believe it wasn't possible for the poor woman. When Rumple was around she would have used them as an example, but now… "I…I don't know that it works that way, Henry. Not here at least."

"Neither do we," he muttered. "Know, I mean. But that's why mom and I figured if we could find the author then we'd know for sure." She wasn't sure which "mom" he was referring to, Emma or Regina. Though she still did care just as deeply for him now as she had weeks ago, she was still willing to lay her life down for the boy she wasn't his grandmother anymore so she had no right to tell him or advise him what he could or could not do when he had the blessing of, and had been working with, one of his parents. If they were with him in his search then it was fine with her. All she could do to help was give him a job then.

"And you thought there might be a clue here?" she questioned further.

"Well, yeah," he shrugged. "I mean, where else? Isn't there an answer to everything here?" That was…an exceptionally good point. She couldn't argue that. After all that was one of the reasons she'd seen fit to return to her post at the shop. Henry working with her to discover what was here was far better than him wandering around on his own. She could answer his questions, help solve the mystery…despite the fact that he wasn't her grandson anymore.

"Henry, about…about what happened…at the town line, I want you to know-"

"Oh don't worry, I probably already do," he interrupted quickly.

She felt her eyes widen at the strange answer. "What?"

"I probably already know," he repeated looking her square in the eye. But after a second of confused staring the boy gave a small sigh. "First, mom, Emma I mean, sat me down and told me what happened. Then my other Mom also talked to me about it when she found out. I think she was looking for someone to be mad with. Grandma and Grandpa tried to explain everything 'gently'. And Killian has asked every time I've seen him if I'm alright with the changes. Whatever it is, I probably already know."

She felt that was doubtful. She'd been there and she wasn't even sure that she understood what had happened! But…what more could she tell him? She wouldn't tell him that she did it for him, or even for Neal. That would lay too much guilt with the boy and she didn't want him to feel it was his fault or for his own sake that she'd done what she'd done. It was too much for someone his age. And besides, deep down, she was ashamed to acknowledge that the thought to protect him had been an after-thought next to her own feelings of betrayal. She'd done it for Henry, but not just for Henry and no matter what he thought he knew, that was probably as far as it needed to go.

"So…what does everyone think about it?" she questioned instead, the thought of everyone over at Mary Margaret's discussing what had happened between them in hushed whispers peeked her curiosity too much.

He sighed. "Mom thinks it's for the best actually. She was shocked when it happened, but she got over it pretty fast. Grandpa too. Grandma…hard to tell. I think she feels sorry for what's happened. I think she's afraid to come ask for help or talk to you because she doesn't know what to say. I don't think you want to know what Killian thinks, but I haven't really seen too much of him, he's been really busy with something my mom is helping him with ever since that night, and Mom…she was upset at first. What she had with Robin Hood...it was good, and then seeing you and Grandpa together…I think she was starting to believe…" he looked at his book and then shook his head as he put it away. "With Robin Hood leaving and everything I think it was just too much change at once. But she understands now, I think. She feels bad about what happened though, that day at the diner. I mean, she won't tell me but I know she does. She was…working through some of her own stuff then and I think you were just an easy target."

The day at the diner. Was nothing a secret in this town? "You know about that?"

Henry nodded. "I know about a lot of stuff I'm not supposed to know about." And so it appeared that he did. But why wouldn't he? The entire town seemed to rotate around his family, he was bound to hear things! And he had!

"So…what about now? What does she think now?"

"She's…dealing," he answered. "It's a lot but she's doing well. One day at a time kinda thing. Mom is helping her too. They actually go to lunch and stuff now." She blanched at that comment because the thought of Regina and Emma sitting down together over grilled cheese like she'd once done with Ruby was just…strange. "Yeah I know," Henry responded. "It's weird. And this week she and Grandma have been talking about her going back to being mayor so that she has something to do with her time and Grandma can go back to teaching. Everyone is getting along and it's strange, but good in a way. For me at least."

"For a lot of people," she responded. But there was still one person that she hadn't heard from that she wanted to know about. "So, then, how about you? What do you think? About what happened with me and with…with him?"

Henry thought for a minute, looked through her and just stared before finally opening his mouth. "I was surprised at first. But then I wasn't. And I think that means something." She fought back a smirk because it wasn't appropriate but he was a smart boy. Surprised then not surprised…she felt the same way sometimes and he was right. It did mean something. "And I may not know that much about it, but I know enough to understand that love is complicated and I will probably never be old enough to understand."

This time she did smile. He was a smart boy indeed. Just like his father. Hopefully not too much like his grandfather. "Well, I think if you know that then you probably understand better than some people twice your age."

He nodded. "I think it's supposed to be that way until I meet a girl…then all bets are off."

And miraculously, she laughed with her grandson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is possibly one of the most requested chapters that I got for ME&U. Everyone wanted to see Belle and Henry have that time together since we know from 4B that they do in fact get back together. I hope that this chapter is what you were hoping for. With Henry...it's complicated because he's on my list of "I'd rather not write him" characters, I just don't know that I have his character down. On the one hand he's supposed to be 13 but with everything he's been through it's more like he is 15 or 16. I wanted him to be mature about it even though he is struggling. I hope that came across and I hope with every inch of my being that he comes across as "in character". I think this is my first real attempt writing Henry without the show as a guideline.
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	6. You Help Me I Help You

So now what was she? A shop owner. A librarian. Just a woman. She knew one thing for sure. She was too much.

It wouldn't seem like that much of a deal, people barely came into the shop and people barely came into the library before lunch…but it was. It was a lot of work. After sitting alone and abandoned by her for a couple of weeks the Pawn Shop was in desperate need of cleaning, not to mention the same cleansing that she'd given the house. It wasn't as bad as clothes but here and there were subtle reminders of a man that would never return. She'd hesitated for all of two minutes before telling herself that keeping them there as if he'd be back was a bad idea and just getting rid of things or moving them was better. Though in the end it was more moving than getting rid of. Like the house she felt unable to truly part with anything, and sometimes she was able to justify that. Though she didn't want to touch magic again, she couldn't get herself to get rid of his black bag of tricks, so she stashed it away. She put the Gauntlet in a safe place. She put his cane in a stand with the others, though couldn't bring herself to put a price tag on it. She put the shop back together the way that she wanted it, systematically undoing what he'd done in the two weeks he'd been home so that she could run it perfectly again, but the library…

The library still needed work too! She couldn't abandon it as she had the shop! And there it wasn't just as simple as tending to patrons. Even if it was in order she was its sole employee! She was needed to work the check-out desk, be the researcher, put files away in the catalogue, be the janitor, and restock shelves. She could be two people at once, she had plenty of experience with that but she couldn't be in two places at once. That took skills she didn't have and didn't want to toil with even with his magic hidden across the street.

She'd tried everything. Working mornings at the library and afternoons at the shop was out of the question. Mornings at the shop and afternoons at the library worked well for those visiting the library in the afternoon but it didn't allow her to do daily chores and despite what everyone said about it's cleanliness she swore that she could see every speck of dust taunting her. Mornings in the shop, afternoons in the library, and evenings keeping a close watch and moving between both drove her mad and the third time she'd run from the pawn shop over to the library to unlock the door again and apologize that they were open she realized that wasn't working either. She even tried getting up early and getting to the library earlier than she ever had and that presented her with another problem altogether.

She bought an alarm clock.

And she cried when she set it on her nightstand. It was something that she swore she'd never do and something that she never imagined that she'd have to do because she had always preferred the idea of her husband waking her up. But too many days of being late and tired and overworked had forced her to do the terrible deed. She jumped up in shock when it woke her that morning and cried until she got in the shower. When the water running down her face had stopped coming from her own eyes…she lost track of that. And what made it even worse was that it didn't seem to help anything. Earlier hours didn't help, late hours left her sore, Henry couldn't be left alone in the shop, not because she didn't trust him but simply because she was convinced that his curiosity could be dangerous without supervision, and splitting her time between either or…

There was only one conclusion that she could draw from her experiences. She needed help. More help than Henry and his two and half days could offer. Ruby was gone but there was one other person who had been on her mind for a long time, someone she hadn't thought about until she'd popped in for a visit and confessed that she loved books and wished she'd had more. Someone who needed help. She wanted to find who she'd been before Rumpelstiltskin and she had a feeling this would help...and it wouldn't be half bad for her sleeping habits either.

She needed Granny's help to track her down but it wasn't as hard as finding Prince Eric. Unlike him, Rapunzel's parents had a standing order at Granny's that was picked up the same time every week and ever since the curse had broken Rapunzel had been coming to town with one or both of her parents to pick it up. This time she was ready and when they appeared and she reintroduced herself to her parents with a smile she asked if she could have a few moments alone with the girl to talk. They moved back over to the corner booth and she explained what had happened. She told her how busy she was between the pawn shop and the library and she thought-hoped really, that Rapunzel might be interested in helping her as the Assistant Librarian.

"You...you want to give me a job?" Rapunzel questioned.

"Yes," she confirmed, "it's a paid position and I know you are living with your parents but when you are ready, if you feel you are, there is an apartment upstairs that comes with it. It's perfect for someone just starting out. Someone like you." She'd thought a lot about it and though she didn't have the money in the budget to hire someone more than her, if Rapunzel could agree to part time work for her then she could give her part of her pay check. Or all of it. The only money she would have coming in then would be from the pawn shop but she'd seen Rumple's finances…she didn't exactly need to work. And she tried not the think of the fact that she'd found his wallet in the shop. He had no money on him at all when he'd gone. She would send it to him, she'd give it all back and live in the library apartment again if only she knew where to send it. She hoped-

"Well…" Rapunzel swallowed, looking nervous. "You know, I…I don't really know all that much about books and libraries or the real world for that matter! Don't get me wrong I love to read but-"

"I'll help you," she assured her. "Rapunzel...I understand if you feel like it's too much, too overwhelming a choice to make but...there was a time that I was a lot like you. I was new to this world and didn't have a clue where to begin or what to do and then..." she smirked at the thought of sitting in this very diner with Ruby, having a conversation that was strikingly similar. Yes, it might help her to be someone else's Ruby for a while. "Someone helped me find my way and I'd like to do the same for you."

Rapunzel blushed and glanced over her shoulder at her parents. "That would be lovely but...I don't have anything to offer you in return!"

"You would be enough," she insisted. "It would be an honor to work with you and you'd be helping me take a lot off of my plate in the end."

"I'll help you if you help me kinda thing?" she questioned with an unsure smirk. She nodded her head. Yes, that was exactly what she was hoping for. If it took two days of sleepless nights to train Rapunzel and keep the shop operational then it would be worth it all in the end just so long as she could take some of the weight off of her long term. Rapunzel cast one more glance over at her parents and bit her lip, but after a moment she turned around and broke out into a smile. "I'll do it!"

"That's wonderful!"

"Yeah, I mean...I don't know that I'm ready to move into the apartment but...I won't know until I try and I'm sure my parents would love to see me out in the world a bit more."

"This will be perfect for you then. You can see them as much as you want and you'll have a job. I really do believe it's a good thing for both of us!"

Rapunzel was ecstatic, she happily popped up and told her parents what had happened and they came over to thank you profusely for the offer. Her mother had tears in her eyes and her father reached out and gave her a tight hug that nearly crushed her. But they left happy and that made her feel...not as happy as she'd hoped.

"Someone doesn't look nearly as happy as they do." she glanced up and found Granny standing at the edge of her table holding a piece of chocolate cake. It was beginning to be a regular thing. When she picked up lunch or dinner to go over the last few weeks she'd found a piece of chocolate cake among her things and even over the past few weeks, since life had changed for her so drastically it wasn't unusual for her to set a piece down before her and mutter some excuse about having too much. She was beginning to think that Granny thought the cure to all her problems was chocolate.

"I'm fine," she insisted. "This is a good thing. She needs it, I need it, everybody wins." The words tasted sour in her mouth. They were lies. She knew it was a good thing but somehow it didn't exactly feel like she was winning. Frankly, she didn't know if Rumple would describe this as "winning" either. But before she could correct herself someone called out for Granny and from across the diner and the woman rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I hear ya!" she shouted as she left her side.

She looked down at the free dessert Granny had left behind, feeling as though she should feel even more grateful for it than she did, but the truth was that after nearly three weeks she didn't think she could eat any more chocolate cake. Not that it wasn't good, she'd just had too much of it. And it was nice. While the rest of the town still looked at her in fear or gawked at her like she was broken, or as Regina had as if she was a traitor, Granny was at least trying. The others just seemed to want to step away from her and pretend it had never happened. That she'd never had a last name like-

"'I!" Suddenly a body sitting down on the bench opposite her, the space Ruby had just occupied, made her look up. And she was startled to see that it wasn't just anybody, but a familiar one. "Name's Will Scarle', you don' mind if I sit 'ere, do ya?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has obviously been edited. Originally the person that Belle gets to help her in the library was supposed to be Ruby but after 5x09...I needed a replacement. Honestly, my first thought was Tinkerbell. And I like that idea, truly I do, but the more I thought about it the more nervous it made me. I'm not writing Moments to go back and edit it, despite the fact that I do every year. And yes, Tinkerbell has not been seen on the show since 3B and who knows what she is doing but...to be honest A&E talk all the time about having her back and the fact that it would be so easy because Rose lives in Vancouver and so editing her into a story line only to be edited out later...I didn't like the idea. But there was one other character Belle had a relationship with that was about the same as Tinkerbell and that was Rapunzel. I felt much better about incorporating her into the story line because so far there has been little to no mention of Rapunzel returning. Tinkerbell was a major character in season 3, she had a story line and the actress lives there, and if the chance presents itself I'm about 70% sure we'll see her again. Rapunzel...I'm gonna say I've got a 30% chance she shows up again. So, I obviously chose her. Let's see how this goes.
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	7. Like Meets Like

She starred open mouthed at the boy across the table who had just sat down. Will Scarlet. Why did he feel this strange need to keep introducing himself?! It wasn't as if their first encounter was forgettable! Though maybe it had been for him!

"I…I know who you are and…yes…yes, I do mind if you sit there!" she stammered, her heart pounding in her chest at the unexpected surprise and frustration that boiled too easily to the surface. She wasn't quite sure what it was about this man that set her teeth on edge like this. The fact that she'd only ever seen him twice and those times were to break into her library, drunk no less, and to attempt to make a pass at her, or if it was just his clashing bold personality that sent her reeling every time. Like now! Why on earth was he-

"On the contrary," he remarked quickly, leaning closer over the table toward her and making her sit back farther. "You know my name…don' mean you know who I am!"

"You broke into my library," she pointed out. "Drunk!" Did she really need to know anything else?

Scarlet opened his mouth, but just sat there for a few minutes like that, saying nothing. It was as if he didn't expect her to remember and that was just downright irritating! How would she ever forget something like that? "Alrigh', I'll give you tha'," he responded after a few moments. "Aye, you caugh' me. I broke into your library. Bu' jus' because you know i' was me don' mean you know why! Or who I am!"

No it didn't. But she knew already that she didn't like him. Not one bit! First of all, what did he mean that she'd caught him?! He'd been stupid and drunk and fallen into her lap. He'd been too drunk that morning to even wake up and answer questions much less try to run away. And second of all she really,  _really_ , didn't want to know why he had broken in…but she hated the fact that she really did want to know in the end.

She let out a frustrated sigh and rolled her eyes. She knew better than anyone that curiosity could kill the cat. What was she on now, her fourth life? Her fifth? Did it really matter? "Fine," she grumbled. "Why did you break into my library?"

He looked her over for a second and cocked his eye brow at her with a condescending and secretive look that made her want to pick up her things and go back to work. She didn't need this! But finally, after a moment he leaned back in the booth and crossed his arms over his chest. "You know…" he sighed, "I don' think you are quite ready to know that jus' ye'!" She clenched her jaw in anger. Then why had he brought it up? "And anyway, that's no' the question you should be starting with…"

The question she should start with. He wanted to begin with the other one then. Did it really matter? It did. It really did matter to her for some strange reason she couldn't even begin to fathom…and she was furious with herself for taking the bait again.

"Then just tell me who you are," she snapped back at him, doing her best to keep her voice quiet in the diner. Why did she feel like every eye was on the pair of them right now?

"Like I said," he muttered leaning in closer again, "I'm Will Scarle'. And yes…I broke into your library. Bu', more importan' than tha'...I'm the only person 'ere righ' now who knows exactly wha' if feels like to be you."

If she thought her heart had been racing before she was wrong because now it was absolutely flying out of control. He'd stolen the breath from her lungs and forced her to close her shocked mouth as she tried to get her mind to think of what to say next. She hadn't expected words like that. But they seemed to put things in a new light. Instead of being harassed in a loud and crowded diner why did she suddenly feel like the two of them were alone? Why could she feel every breath, hear every beat of her heart after his pronouncement? Did the idea that someone could see through her fake facade terrify her that much?

No. Of course not. It was because...because...because he irritated her! Yes, that was it. He'd already tried sweet talk with her once before, now he was just coming at it from a different place now that Rumple was gone. He didn't know what she was going through. No one did. She swallowed hard but the lump in her throat just wouldn't go away and spoke around it...no matter how painful it was. "I doubt that," she managed to whisper.

"Do you?" he piqued without surprise. "Well, I can' exactly say I'm shocked to 'ear i'. Not after what I know 'bou' you."

"You know nothing about me," she practically growled through gritted teeth. She couldn't help it. There were tears in her eyes, she felt surrounded, attacked! She felt like he'd slashed her open and she was struggling to keep her blood in her veins where it belonged. If he really knew what it was like to be her, he'd stop this, because he'd know that she wasn't capable of getting up and leaving right now.

"Beg to differ," he commented quickly. "You're untrusting. Again, no' something I can blame you for…but you'll get it back…eventually."

"And how would you know that?" she challenged.

"Well I already tol' you didn' I?" he questioned. "I'm the only one 'ere who knows wha' it's like to be you."

She shook her head. Her blood was finally flowing, sensation was coming back into her legs and she was done with this conversation. She had to be. Now. So she turned and grabbed the bag at her side and began to scoot out of the booth. "You don't know anything about me," she repeated under her breath. But before she could get up he slapped his hand down over her wrist, gently, but with enough force to lock her into the booth and prevent her from leaving. Her blood turned so cool at the touch she shivered.

"I know tha' I've watched ya walk in and ou' of 'ere for the las' three weeks and you've barely spoken to anyone, at leas' anyone tha' isn' an old woman who brings your meals," he responded quickly. "I know that you haven' once noticed the guy that robbed ya was sitting just one table away, watchin ya. And I know tha' look. Tha' distant look you have in your eyes now, jus' before I sat down. I recognize the pain you wear on your sleeves when ya think no one's lookin'. The way you try to pretend everything is all righ' when nuthin' is and the world ya know is fallin' to pieces. Like now…"

She could feel her body shaking. She didn't want any of what he'd said to be true. But it was. And it scared her. She wasn't even sure Neal had been able to see that far into her. "What do you want?" she questioned weakly. She felt like she was under a microscope, being examined close up and the only thing she wanted was to give him whatever he wanted so that she could leave and he would go away forever. This must have been what it felt like, to truly have the mask pried off against a persons will. It didn't feel all that great from this perspective and suddenly she regretted doing it with her husband.

Scarlett released her arm. "It's no' wha' I wan'," he assured her. "It's wha' you wan'. I'm a friend. I used to live in town but with Robin Hood's unscheduled departure I've taken up residence in the woods with my fellow merry men-don' look at me funny, I didn' choose the name. Bu', when you are ready to know more, when you are ready to know the answer to your first question...give me a call. Day or nigh'-"

"Why?" she breathed, a tear rolling over her cheek as she finally looked at him. He was sympathetic. But it wasn't like Granny's sympathy or even David's. It was different. A different kind she had yet to encounter. It was terrifying. But also comforting in a way she hadn't felt in the last month. "Why are you doing this?"

Scarlett released her arm and sat back in the booth, looking like a wounded animal…probably the way that she looked right about now. "I already told ya. I know wha' it's like to be you. It's called common courtesy, maybe you've 'eard of i'."

He was the only one that knew what it was like to be her. She understood finally, what he was telling her, why he'd said it just that way. If he was the only one in town that knew what it was like to be her, that meant that she was the only one that knew what it meant to be like him. And if he felt half of what she did then he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, just how much living hurt every day.  _If_ he was as much like her as he claimed.

"'Ere," she watched as he dug into the pocket of his black leather jacket and pulled out a receipt from the diner. Scrawled on the back of it was a phone number. "For when you're ready," he muttered, then quickly pushed himself up and out of booth, saluted Granny, and left out the door.

She couldn't meet Granny's eyes though she could feel her staring at her over her glasses from across the room. She felt like she could feel everyone in the diner staring at her. So she ignored him, she did her best to shut them out of her small world and stared at the number, feeling strangely reminiscent of that time nearly a year ago when she'd sat down across from Neal and given him her own number, telling him to call her any time he needed a friend.

A friend.

She could use a friend now.

Neal, he was great, but...he was gone. Going to a grave, imagining conversations with him in her head, it wouldn't help this feeling that she had. His ghost just wasn't real. And that meant that if she needed a friend then Neal, as much as it pained her to admit it, wasn't the best option. In fact he wasn't even really an option. And neither was Ruby. Archie, Granny, the Charmings, the people she'd once called her family…she wasn't sure they were the type of friend she needed right now. She didn't want to need anyone, in fact. She didn't want to be examined or judged, she didn't want to be patronized or babied. She wanted...him. Still. Always and forever part of her heart would want him. But she'd seen to it that it was no longer an option and where she went from here...that was a mystery to her.

But nevertheless, her curiosity had gotten the best of her and she found herself pocketing the number before she left.

Just in case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Ruby's departure from Storybrooke in 5x09 actually played quite well into this story line. Belle is alone. No more Ruby is putting stress on her and the question I'm getting most often right now is why Mary Margaret is gone which is contributing to this. Mary Margaret is gone because it's in David's character? Confused? I aim to confuse. When I write Moments I'm not just looking to make people in character when they are on the page but constantly. When David last saw Belle...she was a little crazy. Remember she'd just sent her husband over the town line and was baking cookies...totally done on purpose. She also told him that because of that she wanted her space and no one to hold her hand. Mary Margaret I think probably would want to reach out to her, I imagine David encourages her to give Belle her space. So she has. She's given her space and sent the kids to her because she didn't know what else to do. But don't worry, Mary Margaret will come to her senses in a few chapters and things will be better, but still not great. And in the meantime we're going to find Will Scarlet is going to fill a hole for her in a very unexpected way. I'll explain a little bit more about him and the kind of relationship they will have later though. Now is just not the time!
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	8. The Tales Live Men Tell

So far so good.

She and Rapunzel had been working together on the library for a couple of days now. Well, working together separately at least. Rapunzel was shy and unsure of nearly everything but the truth was that she was a natural at the library and far better at living in this world that she believed herself to be. She was wonderfully intelligent, she picked up the tasks at hand almost immediately the first time around and had very few problems when she was on her own. They still hadn't really managed a permanent schedule yet. Mostly Rapunzel took over for her when her parents were able to drive her in and out of town since moving into the apartment was something of a work in progress for her. Usually at night, before she went to bed she'd receive a call or lately a text from Rapunzel telling her if she could work the next day and if she could do mornings or afternoons. She picked up whatever shift Rapunzel wasn't taking. It wasn't an ideal situation, but so far it was working. And if that meant that some days the shop went untended to, that was just fine. It was smaller than the library, had fewer visitors, and the visitors that it did have were almost always looking for something specific which meant that even if she missed them, they always came back around.

It was hectic, last minute, and still chaotic. But it was better than before. The library work was done with half the effort. The pawn shop was her own again. She had things under control with Henry and best of all she had yet to give into her temptation to call Will Scarlet. All in all she was keeping her life together. The life she was living was normal, no magic involved with the exception of someone stopping by for the rare magical item that she gave away at her own discretion. Things were fine. And that was pretty remarkable in her eyes.

But it all came to a crashing halt the afternoon she walked back from lunch and found Hook waiting for her by the shops door.

They stared at each other for a long time when he finally noticed she'd arrived. Her first instinct was always to ask what she could do for him, but she didn't want to do that because she was afraid that he might answer. And she really, really didn't want to help him.

In the end "you're in my way" was all she managed to get out and it was far too quiet and meek to be forceful enough to actually get him to move. Instead he offered only one of those knowing smirks that bothered her so much and said, "that was kind of the point, Love."

"Don't call me that," she insisted.

He threw up his hands, or his hand and his hook, and lowered his head slightly in mock surrender. Irritating mock surrender. "Sorry, my mistake, I'll try harder next time."

But she only shook her head because she knew that tone. He wouldn't try harder. And if it were up to her there would be no next time. "What do you want?" she finally conceded because maybe if she knew then he would finally go away.

"Only to talk-"

"I'm busy," she interrupted, then shook her head again and moved around him to unlock her door. She didn't want to hear what he had to say.

That should have been the end of it, she should just go into her shop, lock the door behind her and-

Before she could even really open the door she jumped at the feel of his hook over her wrist. "Belle, please," but she refused to meet his eyes because after the last month dealing with Hook was something she was positive she was not yet ready to handle. Not after their last encounter. "Please, I need your help."

"Talk to Emma," she insisted.

"I already have," he said, his voice bending into something that resembled panic and made her finally look him in the eye. Panic. Guilt! That was a look she'd never seen on his face before. "Please, I've already told her and Regina and her parents everything and we've done everything in our power but…they sent me to you. If anyone can help fix this then you can. And trust me…I think it's something you are going to want to help fix."

Curiosity. Again! Had she always been this curious, or was it a bad habit that she'd picked up from Rumpelstiltskin. Had it infected the store and her by proxy?! She was beginning to wonder how he'd survived so long with his curiosity because she was certain that if she kept being curious at this rate it would be the death of her.

"Emma sent you?" she questioned looking him over. If she was going to let him into her shop to speak with her, alone, she was going to be damn sure that it was safe.

"She did," he answered. "She knows I'm here now, you are welcome to call her and confirm it for yourself if it makes you feel better."

She hated that comment. She could tell from it that he knew exactly what she'd been thinking. Scarlet, Hook, could everyone read her mind? With a heavy sigh she opened the door and allowed him to follow her into the shop. She wouldn't call Emma for confirmation. She didn't get the sense that Hook had lied or that he was there to hurt her, just give her an unpleasant experience. Maybe she was right, maybe she was wrong, either way she figured she'd know soon enough.

"So…" she questioned slipping out of her jacket and laying it on the glass counter that she very purposely placed between them. Maybe she was right, maybe she was wrong. She wasn't stupid. "What do you need me to fix?"

Hook sauntered slowly over to her and said nothing. Just reached inside his jacket and pulled from it a short squat cylinder that flooded her mind with memories she neither wanted or needed to remember at the moment. Still, she was impressed with her ability to remain stone faced in front of him and fixed her gaze instead on Hook himself.

"The hat," she mumbled.

"The Sorcerer's Hat," Hook confirmed officially. She breathed. Carefully breathed. In for two seconds, out for two seconds. If she didn't concentrate on something simple like that then she didn't think she'd be able to make it through the rest of whatever this conversation was going to be about. She didn't care what it was specifically. Nothing but terrible, horrible things had ever accompanied that hat coming into her life and she wanted it out of her shop, her library, out of her head, and her life for good! She never wanted to see it again.

"Please leave," she mumbled, crossing her arms over her chest and turning to go into-

"I never said thank you!" he called before she could go anywhere. She stopped in her tracks, her eyes stung from the tears coating them but she wouldn't blink and risk him seeing. "I never got the chance to thank you for what you did; for saving my life. After everything I did, you still-"

"I didn't do it for you…" she insisted quickly because she wouldn't leave him to think that she'd saved him or sent her husband across the town line for a fiend like Hook. "I did it for me." And she wasn't quite sure what that had gotten her now or where it had left him, but she knew that it hurt too much already to continue thinking about it or having this conversation.

"Either way I am grateful, Belle," he responded gently. "Truly grateful. And now…I'm sorry, but must ask your help one last time."

"With what?" she asked before she could stop herself.

"There are people, trapped in here," he muttered quietly and she turned just in time to see him tap his finger against the little golden box. He reached into his jacket again and pulled out something else, something long and slim. A file. A file was easier to look at than the box was so she carefully stepped forward and opened it up. It was a police file. Not just one missing persons file but dozens. Names she recognized. Mother Superior. The Blue Fairy. And it appeared everyone that she'd seen that day a month ago in the diner that had helped with the cure.

"They're missing?!" she breathed, shocked that she hadn't heard anything. She knew that she hadn't been the most social over the last few months but…she was still sure she would have heard about something like this.

"Emma's been trying to keep it quiet. Not difficult when you consider that they live alone out by the lake and so few people knew where they were or what they were doing last. It's not as though people stop by to check in on a gander of fairies-"

"How?" she demanded. According to this they'd gone missing from the diner, no one had seen them since that date! "What happened?!

Hook shuffled his feet a bit and scratched the back of his head, a habit that she almost wanted to smack him for because suddenly she saw where Neal had picked up that little trait and she didn't want him to have it too. "I…procured them…for a man of means," he said with a strange scowl that couldn't possibly be guilt...was it? Did it matter?

Procured. Where had she heard that before? It was Rumpelstiltskin. She glanced at the box and suddenly began to put together what she could as she remembered the night that he'd held Hooks heart in the palm of his hand. She knew what a heart stolen could do to a person.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to find the courage to ask what she wasn't sure she wanted, or was ready, to know and finally sighed, prepared. "What did he make you do?" she demanded.

"I don't know if you're ready-"

"What did he make you do?!" she demanded harshly. First from Scarlet now from Hook! She was tired of people telling her she wasn't "ready" to know the truth. She would be the judge of that. And yes, the truth was she wasn't ready to hear. But she'd heard enough to understand that her friends were in trouble and her husband had helped put them there. Whether or not she was ready was irrelevant.

Without a choice, Hook began to weave the tale. He didn't know when Rumple had acquired the hat, only that he'd had it only days after they'd been married, when she put it together she figured that Hooks knowledge of it in his possession when back to the day he'd promised her he wanted to stay out of everyone else's business. Of course it had…

At first it was Hooks own fault. He'd done what he knew better than to do and made a deal to get his hand back just for a date with Emma. It hadn't been worth it. In never was when dealing with the Dark One. Hook had quickly found himself pulled into a trap, blackmailed into assisting her hus-Rumpelsitlskin in his plot all because of a tape.

She'd never had the real dagger. It was always far too simple, the way that he insisted she carry it around for him. He never had trusted her with the real one, it had all be a lie. She supposed that she had known that, somewhere deep down from the beginning. Perhaps from the moment that the security system at the police station had failed. He'd killed her. Hook couldn't confirm it but she didn't need him to, she felt it, in her heart of hearts she'd always known that he had never given her the real dagger and used his freedom first to kill the one woman that she'd asked him not to and then to cover his tracks. She'd known it, but she'd shut her eyes to it and seen once more what she'd wanted to see, the good man that came home and made love to her the night of their engagement instead of the terrible murderous monster he really was. But it turned out that she did that more that she knew.

His plan was simple enough as far as Hook was concerned. He wanted to be free of the dagger, but not free in the way she would have liked. If he'd wanted to be magic free he should have told her, it would have been something she'd have been only too happy to help with but he hadn't because in the end it wasn't his magic that he wanted free from. Just the dagger. And when he'd found the hat he knew exactly what to do.

It was powerful. Possibly one of the most powerful magical items from their realm. It was capable of absorbing magical power and according to Hook when he had enough of it, when the stars in the sky aligned with the stars on the hat, and with the heart of someone who had remembered him from before he was the dreaded Dark One…he could free himself. That was what she'd walked in on that night in the tower. Had everything gone as planned Hook would be dead and he'd have no tether against his blackness.

They'd started with an old man, someone inconsequential as far as Hook knew, so much so that Emma was having a hard time figuring out who the man was! They'd found one document in the town files with the name "Yen Sid" on it but it was just one document and it told them nothing about who he'd been before. It didn't matter to a monster like Rumpelstiltskin. Using blackmail he'd used Hook to help him trap the old man inside of the hat.

Hook had tried to stop after that, but he'd made another mistake. He'd threatened her. At least he was honest about it, but it mattered very little to her in the end. He'd threatened her, threatened to tell her everything he knew, threatened their marriage. Of course he couldn't see that he was the true threat to it. In return, Rumple threatened Emma and with the false images on the tape he'd created he was stuck. But when Rumple had attempted to capture Emma, the most powerful magical being in Storybrooke to power the hat, things had changed for the worse.

He hadn't trapped Emma, obviously. But that was the night that Rumple managed to collect early on the heart that he would need to complete the spell to free himself from the dagger. The heart of someone who remembered who he'd been before he was the Dark One. Even she knew, old as he was, there was only one person in town capable of providing that. He stole Hook's heart and from then on it didn't matter what he'd wanted to do or not wanted to do or what kind of blackmail he'd had over Hook. The pirate had no choice. And it made her sick.

The abused had become the abuser. After a year of living under Zelena's sway, after being forced to do deed after deed on her behalf, having his own will power robbed of him…he'd done the exact same thing to Hook. Enemy or not…it was possibly the worst thing he could ever have done. Or at least so she thought.

There had been no cure. He'd lied to her once more the morning after the curse. Though Hook assured her that Anna and Elsa were still alive and had made it back to Arendelle nothing else that he'd told her had been true. The cure that she'd worked so hard on, that he told her had worked and saved the town…it had all been a lie to cover up what had really happened.

Mother Superior had been right all along not to trust him. He hadn't been there to help or observe, he'd been there to remove her, to keep her safely tucked away, blind and ignorant. The moment he'd dragged her out of the diner Hook had been force to put the fairies in the hat. They'd never finished the cure and by the time she was safely locked away in the shop Emma had already realized it was too late. She and Elsa had defeated the Snow Queen, he hadn't lied about that, but he had lied about distributing the cure and what he'd really been doing. Instead of working with them to save the town he'd worked against them…to destroy it.

His plan had been simple, keep her asleep, free himself from the dagger, cross the town line with his power intact, take her and Henry to New York and leave everyone else behind to tear themselves apart. It hadn't worked. Henry had run away. The Snow Queen had died. But he'd quickly changed his plan, re-evaluated his choices. Anna was alive and safe but he'd purposefully kept her from her!

She knew that she'd always known from how easily she put it together, how it didn't shock her, but somehow she knew that Rumple was the monster Anna had gotten the hat from all those years ago. Somehow she'd managed to learn his plan and he couldn't risk the two of them meeting, of Anna accidentally divulging what had happened and what he intended. She didn't know if it would have mattered. She didn't know if she would have wanted to believe it or not. She wasn't gone when she'd woke as he'd told her. Instead he'd sent Hook to deliver the girl to the portal before it could all fall apart again. He'd deprived her of the closure she'd so desperately wanted and needed all for his own stupid self-interests! It was a terrible thing for a person to do to another human being. And an unspeakable act for a husband to commit against a wife.

And yet…if she was following Hooks story correctly…it wasn't the worst sin he'd left her to deal with. The missing person files in her hands, the hat at her side…it wasn't over.

"So they're in there…trapped!" she concluded looking sadly over the remnants of her Ex-husband's work. Her friends. How could he?

Hook nodded. He looked...he looked sad. At some point his stern face had faltered and he looked more human than she'd ever seen or known him to be in her life. For the first time she could see the guilt that he carried in all of this, how it was eating him alive from the inside out! "We took the hat after you left that night. We've been trying to free them, to change all of this, but we can't! We can't even get the damn thing open! Regina believes that while Emma's magic is strong enough she's not experienced enough to overcome something this complex, and though Regina is experienced, she's not strong enough. It won't open for either of them, for anything I've ever seen other than the Crocodile and his dagger and even if it did open we have no idea how to reverse the effects.

"I don't know if they're dead or alive in there. I don't know if they still have their magic. But I feel like I can hear them screaming for me every time I close my eyes at night! I have to undo this. We've tried our hardest to solve it without you, to spare you the terrible details but now we don't have a choice! We've tried everything we know, but nothing has worked. Next to Rumpelstiltskin you know more about unexplainable magic than anyone here and have resources we don't. You figured out Zelena's plan, learned how to make the cure…and despite the way we met, the way that I started things between us, I think you can help me fix this. I think you might be the only one that can help me fix this. Belle please...you're our last chance..."

And so it seemed she had one last reason to use magic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It will probably come as no surprise to anyone to anyone who as spoken to me that Hook is not my favorite character on the show. I don't hate him like some people do, but I tend to think he is underdeveloped for as much screen time as he gets. Writing him and Belle's relationship for 4B...it wasn't easy. I was so fortunate to have the wonderful Fox24 volunteer to read through some of these Hook chapters to make sure that he was in character and that things progressed well enough. We both seemed to have the same idea about Hook and Belle in 4B. They appear close...but they're not. Subtle nuances told both of us that they aren't really friends so much as they are colleagues that tolerate each other and every now and then take a small, very small, step toward that friendship. So yes, Hook and Belle will develop in this fiction, but never fear...they certainly will not become BFFs.
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	9. Up is Down

She had done a good job of being stoic and stone faced when Hook had been there, when he'd told her about the hat and what Rumpelstiltskin had done and planned to do with it but now that he was gone there was a weight, a burden on her shoulders that was too much for one person to bear alone. She was beyond tears, beyond crying, but not so far gone that her body wasn't bent in two on the floor behind the glass case that she'd fallen behind as she went over those details in her head over and over again, starring at that wretched hat that the man she loved had placed her friends in. And that was only the least of what he'd planned to do!

All this time...no one had told her?!

Though she supposed that part of that was her fault. These last few weeks she'd remained indifferent and allowed herself once more to be ignorant maybe because deep down she feared that it would be something like this but never in her imagination would it ever have been this bad, this malicious, this…evil.

In her mind she'd hoped that either they would have told her a tale that wasn't as bad as she'd thought and she'd have to live forever with the guilt of sending him over the town line without good cause or it would have been terrible and she'd have to live forever with the guilt of being too blindly in love and too trusting of the Dark One to see through him. Now that she knew the tale…it was the second. Only it was worse than she'd ever imagined.

And it hurt.

It hurt so much.

And for the first time since she'd made that decision to send him over the town line she knew that she'd made the right choice.

He was dangerous.

If what Hook was saying was true, and she had no reason to believe that he was lying because now he had no motivation to do such a thing and frankly the look on his face had been truthful, then he'd lied to her from the very beginning and she hadn't seen it or worse...she'd refused to see it!

He'd lied about dagger. He'd lied about it for so long! The night they were married, their honeymoon, there had been so many opportunities for him to tell her himself and instead she had to find out like this! Was anything true?

And if she hadn't come around that night, if she hadn't stopped him and put him over the town line then he would have killed everyone she knew and cared about. Maybe not directly, but to remove himself from it and just let them sit there and let the Spell of Shattered Sight destroy them…it would have been murder.

It didn't matter that he would have spared her and Henry. It would have been for selfish reasons, but Henry's family...Snow and David, Emma, Hook they'd all be gone. She would have lost her father, Granny…they'd have all been gone. And she and Henry…

How ignorant was she? How easily manipulated? And how truly pathetic was she that this all shocked her?! She'd given her heart to a terrible beast and then forgotten about the monster that lurked in his skin thinking that just because she loved him she had cured him. She'd refused to see what was right in front of her, allowed him to keep her ignorant with a few sweet words and gestures! And how and why? How could he do that to her? Why would he do such a terrible thing to her? Love…love didn't look like that. Love didn't treat others like that! He'd lied to her every single day they'd been married from the very night he was free and he proposed to her!

How could she not have seen it?!

And how did he ever think he was going to succeed with his plan?! He hadn't been honest with her before and clearly didn't have any intention of being honest with her afterwards. What he thought he'd do out in the world with magic and no dagger she didn't quite know, but she knew it wouldn't have been good. What on earth could a monster like that, with magic like his, do completely free? The dagger was always a terrible thing in her mind. But suddenly she saw the use of it, the reason that it had to exist. Without it, who knew if there would be any Realm left to live in…

But did he really think that little of her after everything that they'd been through? Did he really think that he could hide it all from her, that he could just take her and Henry away and she wouldn't ask questions about what had happened, that she wouldn't figure it out? Did he really expect to hide the fact that he'd been separated from the dagger from her? Was that how easy she'd made it for him to take advantage of her?

He'd promised that he'd never do that to her, that she'd never have to fear someone taking advantage of her innocence or kindness again after they'd been married. And yet it was the first thing he did.

Pain ripped through her chest. She knew it wasn't real, only an illusion of the information killing the space that he had occupied in her heart. But she felt like it was tearing her limb from limb slowly from the inside out. She gathered her legs up against her chest and rocked against it the floor as she struggled to breath beneath the pressure of it. How could he have done this to her? How could he have done such a terrible, terrible thing and left her to suffer here and clean up the mess his betrayal had caused? People who loved one another didn't leave them to this. It hurt. She wasn't sure she could live with this kind of pain. Because what he'd done was a betrayal that went so much deeper than her command to leave town.

Suddenly she knew what Hook had meant about the voices crying out to him in the dark. She couldn't hear them, but she could hear the result of her blindness. And she didn't want to anymore.

Up was down. Wrong was right. The world was spinning. The air was all around her and it was heavy pressing her into the ground and drowning her. Every second she spent on the floor dampened her ability to feel a little more. Emotion. She wasn't sure she had any. And if she had no emotion then what was she? Was she even alive? Was there any point in trying to survive?

Somewhere, a small almost minuscule voice in her head reprimanded her. Told her that she couldn't do this, not like last time, not like every time he'd gone away. Being on her own had never, not once, helped her get on her feet or given her the will to go on! But she didn't have anyone. She didn't want to see her father. The idea of Ruby finding her here in this little space as she was now was somehow too much for even her best friend to deal with. She didn't know what Archie would say and couldn't bear the thought of what he would say. Neal was gone. If the world was right she would have gone to him first but the world was wrong and cruel and terrible and she didn't have Neal anymore. Just a false voice in her head that sounded like him. Pretending to carry on a conversation in her head would only make her feel more lonely and helpless. The truth was that no one could help her now. No one knew what she felt like, or didn't feel like, no one knew...

Who she was…

There was one person that claimed to know who she was, that claimed to know what it felt like to be her. The memory of how he'd so carefully and particularly explained everything to her in that diner still made her shudder.

She couldn't ever remember making the decision. She couldn't remember why she even thought it was a good idea, maybe that was just how desperate she was, just how in need. Maybe it was just Neal pushing her to do it, her desire to pick herself up the way that she knew he believed she could. She'd completely let go of herself and the next thing she knew she was huddled in the corner, her phone pressed to her ear, the number Scarlet had left crumbling in her hand and she struggled to breathe…to live.

"Will Scarle' 'ere, at your service!" the confident voice came on the other end of the line.

"Why are you like me?!" she demanded quickly.

"'Scuse me?" he asked sounding baffled.

"Why do you know what it feels like to be me? Why did you break into my library? Why…why?" she managed, a sob she hadn't meant to reveal slipping passed her lips. This was a mistake, she shouldn't have called she should have just-

"Belle? Belle is tha' you?" She couldn't bring herself to answer. She was too busy already regretting the decision she'd made and trying to keep her tears in her eyes. It wasn't working. "Look…jus'…jus' si' tigh' and stay with me alrigh'…" his voice was suddenly low, whispered and gentle as if he didn't want anyone to hear. His instructions…it was as if he'd known this was coming. "Look...I'm in town righ' now, jus' tell me where you are." It was worse. The concern in his voice, the urgency of his tone, it all suggested that he might actually have spoken the truth. That there might be another person in all of Storybrooke that knew what she was going through. But how?!

She shook her head at the thought, her mind resisted the command but her mouth… "Pawn Shop," she croaked out without letting another blubber escape from her mouth.

"Okay, I can be there in two minutes, jus'…jus' don' 'ang up. Alrigh'?" It was a command but it didn't sound like a command and though they said nothing for those two minutes she did as she was told and listened to the sounds of fabric, heavy breathing, the occasional odd comment or two from an angry citizen as he spend by. The moment the phone went dead the bell on the door chimed and a voice cried out her name, near panic. She could only imagine what he thought she was going to do. She wouldn't have, but the fact that he was concerned…she couldn't feel enough to care. Or even speak.

He found her when he practically ran to the back room only to find her hiding there behind the counter. He looked from the box to her and at the area around her, quickly assessing what was happening before he asked if she was alright, but she couldn't say she was.

Her heart…it hurt. Did he really know what that felt like?

She opened her mouth to ask but "We were married!" was the shout that came out. "We could have been happy! He was enough! Why…why couldn't I…why wasn't that enough?! How could he just…" but she couldn't go on. Her muscles clenched again and forced her back into her little protected ball and suddenly she wished that he'd leave because it wasn't possible that he knew what she felt like. He wouldn't be alive today if he did because she was sure now that no one could survive this. No one.

But next to her she heard the floorboards creak as he let out a heavy sigh and squat down next to her. "Someone finally told you," he muttered and her head shot up at out of her arms at the assumption.

"Did you know?" she questioned searching his face. "This entire time did you know?" Was she really the only one that didn't know?! Had it really been obvious to every single person what had been going on behind her back and no one had told her?! Would it have mattered? Would she have believed them?

"I've 'eard things," he admitted. "Bits and pieces, people talk. Only rumors though. Truth is I probably only know abou' as much as you do. Or as much as you did."

"Then I envy you," she cried. She'd give anything to go back to being that ignorant. But then again she wouldn't. But…she just didn't know anymore. Down was up and right was wrong.

The presence beside her changed and shifted again and before she knew what had happened Scarlet was sitting there on the floor next to her. He kept a fair distance, didn't move to touch her or talk to her or even look at her. He just sat there. Legs bent, elbows on his knees, his head against the wall looking almost as upset as she was. But he didn't say anything!

So she did.

Before she knew what was happening she'd told him everything. The proposal and Zelena. Their wedding night, every promise he'd made and broken. She told him about what she'd seen that night in the clock tower and how she'd sent him away and how she'd spent her time since that moment. Then finally what Hook had told her and what the hat had done. It all poured uncontrollably out of her mouth and she realized quickly that it was the first time she'd ever really talked to anyone about half of it as uncovered as she felt.

Yes, she'd talked to Granny and her father, but she'd always left out certain details. Archie was always too clinical for her to entrust him with intimate details. And of course she'd talked to Neal. In fact if Neal was still around he would have been the one she'd called. But Neal wasn't around. And even if he had been she probably wouldn't have said it all like this. She'd always been restrained because he was his father after all and it was right but with Will…

She didn't have to worry about any of that. She hadn't had enough control to worry about it. But it was nice to have it all gone, to have it off her chest. She'd sat there for hours and finally her muscles had eased, deep sadness had left her incredibly tired and emotionally drained but at least she'd had emotions to drain. And at least she'd been talking to someone who understood…or at least she assumed understood.

He held something out for her and realized that he had dug into his jacket for a flask and was offering it to her. Cheap whiskey. Lacey would know that smell anywhere. And if her world hadn't just completely ended an hour ago, if she didn't know the truth, if she hadn't shared what she just had or thought for a second that she should feel guilty about it then she probably wouldn't have taken it. But the world as she knew it had just ended. She'd already broken every vow public and private she'd ever had…what harm could it do now? So she took it from him and let it burn her throat, let it envelop her only to find that it had a minimal effect. She was already too over the top to let alcohol affect her.

Though her tears had stopped nearly a half hour ago she sniffed and handed it back to him and took another shallow breath. "Before…" she whispered, her voice scratchy and rough from talking and tears and talking with tears. "Before, at Granny's you uh…you told me that you knew what it was like…to be me. Why?" she asked again, hoping she'd get an answer this time around. After all she'd said she felt as though she needed an answer this time around. "Why do you know what it feels like to be me?"

He took his flask back and cast her a sideways glance, looking her over, testing her, judging her without making her feel small. Then he nodded. Slowly at first, like it was an afterthought, but then with more purpose as if he'd truly decided. "You know…I think you are ready for that tale now…" he took a long swallow from his flask and set it aside before digging in his jacket for…something. A piece of paper. A folded piece of paper. He carefully unfolded it, looked it over almost lovingly then finally handed it over to her. An illustration ripped from a book. A book she recognized.

"I suppose it's yours," he muttered as he handed it to her. "it's wha' I took from your library, wha' I broke in for…even if I can' remember doin' i'."

"That's…that's  _Through the Looking Glass_ , Lewis Carroll. The Red Queen…?" she questioned looking him over.

"To everyone else, yeah…to me…" he took the paper back and looked the illustration over again as if it was a treasured photograph. "To me she's just Anastasia. To me she'll always be Anastasia…"

Anastasia. That was a detail she was certain had never been given in the book. Because she wasn't just a character or an illustration. For him it was exactly like a treasured photograph. "You loved her," she commented when she finally understood.

There was a long pause as he continued to look the paper over. Then with a sniff and a quick gesture the picture was folded again and placed safely away in his pocket. "Hear' and soul I'm afraid. It's worse that way. Higher the throne, longer the fall, tha' sorta thing." That sort of thing…she knew that sort of thing. Better than she liked.

"What did she do?" she asked quietly, almost afraid to open a wound that might be as bad as hers but…he'd sought her out! Maybe he wanted someone to talk to, needed someone to talk to, as much as she did.

"A lo' I didn' know abou'…" he answered with his head back against the wall as he stared into space. She could tell he was trying to act relaxed, to shrug it off and pretend it was nothing but she could tell…his posture was defensive and she noticed that hurt look in his eyes. It wasn't noting.

"A' firs' things were fine. Brillian'! I loved 'er and she said me she loved me and…I believed her. We were married. We were happy, makin' promises abou' our future, about Wonderland, but the momen' my back was turned…she just couldn' stop!

"Magic is like a drug and power is no better. Together they're a lethal combination. Once you've 'ad a taste…it's 'ard to go back no matter 'ow much of i' you 'ave. I though' we were taking what we 'ad and building something good with it...together, but lies don' exactly 'old up forever and when I finally opened my eyes…it's 'ard to unseen some things. It's 'ard to always be second best with someone you place firs' in your life, someone you give your everything to. I couldn' do i' anymore. Wasn' good for me...certainly wasn' 'elping 'er. So I lef'…I came back 'ere, 'aven' 'eard a word from 'er since."

He looked over at her finally and she realized that her jaw had dropped because there had been a time she'd thought those exact same words years ago after she'd found him in that basement. "Bu' no' a day goes by I don' think of 'er. Or wonder if wha' I did was the righ' choice, for both of us. How it all went wrong. How she is on her own…"

His thoughts and reflections took her breath away and suffering…without thinking about it she felt herself reach out and take his hand, a comforting gesture between two friends on their own in the harsh world. He'd been right all along.

"You understand," she realized with a sob in her voice. Sympathy, gratitude, pain, she didn't know what it was. But she knew one thing sitting here with Will. She wasn't as alone as she'd believed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...let's talk about the relationship that Will and Belle will have. We got so little of it despite the promise that we would get more and understand the reasoning behind it. What do I think happened? This. I think they both needed a friend. I think they both needed someone that understood the other and someone that could help them on their journey. I think they recognized so much of each other and were so afraid of being burned that they let their relationship go farther than they both wanted it to go and farther than it should have gone. They will be great friends, comfortable friends, friends in the way that Neal and Belle were, but when it comes to the boyfriend and girlfriend thing it's going to feel forced. It's not going to feel like it should for both of them and that is going to be incredibly important later on. So...let's ride this train and do what needs done...just remember that in the end Rumple does come back for her and things turn around. Also...remember that I'm going to build this in a way that the show didn't and I hope that everyone will like what I do with it. It's very...well...I'll let you figure it out.
> 
> Peace and happy Reading!


	10. Little By Little

She had a new friend. A great and remarkable friend. And though it had taken some adjusting to in a way that she'd never expected, she thought that it might have been the best thing that had happened to her all month. She relied on him just as much as she'd relied on Neal…maybe even more. And while she hadn't really noticed how lonely she was until Will Scarlet came into her life, she wondered if whether or not he knew how lonely he'd been because for as much as she called him when she needed him, he called her.

Every day he "checked in" as he called it. First at the library and if he didn't find her there he went across the street and found her in the pawn shop. When he brought her coffee one day and she turned her nose up at it he brought her tea the next day. One morning when he'd found her in the library he'd gone through the shelves and helped her restock books. He wasn't very good at it. But his commentary on titles and authors made the extra effort to re-restock the shelves after he was done worth it.

She liked the company he offered. She liked the conversation more. The pair of them could lose hours talking about their pasts. In the end she had far more in common than their pain. They both had secret past lives, though hers was probably more of a secret than his was at the moment. He'd told her everything. The Enchanted Forest, meeting Anastasia, joining up with Robin Hood and becoming a thief. He told her about how they'd escaped to Wonderland and how Anastasia had chosen power over him the first time around. He even had his own version of Neal, a woman named Alice who he'd helped and had become something of a sister to him. She'd been his best friend even if they didn't always get along or see eye to eye. He was her. Only not her. And that was good.

Probably the only thing that she couldn't imagine was the feeling of having her heart torn from her body by The Queen of Hearts. It would have been horrible, but it was something he'd willingly taken on because he just couldn't imagine his future as it was.

He'd been honest. And it was so amazing, so remarkable to her that she nearly had forgotten that this was how people were supposed to be with others. Kind. Gentle. Honest. So she returned the favor.

He was the first person that she'd told her tale to since Neal. Probably the only one that she really knew here that knew of her past besides her father and Ruby and even with them they didn't know all of it. She hadn't told her father about how he'd made her feel when she'd had to promise herself to Gaston. And Ruby…Ruby only knew that she was the daughter of Maurice. Beyond that she hadn't really shared what her life had been like and Ruby hadn't pushed because she knew that it was a touchy subject. Neal had gotten it out of her but that had taken some effort on his part. Sitting on one of the library tables with Will one morning, when they'd finally given up trying to stock, and telling him about her life was completely different for her. But he listened. He didn't judge her or get up to go kill her father, which was a nice change. He just sympathized with her.

He'd given up his heart because he couldn't imagine living the life he had been living without her forever and she'd left everything behind for many reasons, but that was one of them.

And it didn't end there.

One afternoon after she'd had a particularly hard time working with Hook that morning, he'd dragged her away from the shop and the library. They walked down by the beach and spoke of their loss outside of their spouses. He'd lost a sister when he was young. She'd died drowning and though she listened to the story and assured him that it wasn't his fault she knew that he didn't believe her. She told him about her mother, how she'd died with her that day in the library, how she'd lost her memories and woken up to find her entire world changed. She told him of what she'd done with Anna and how she had carried that with her until last month and Rumpelstiltskin had…

It was still too horrible to even think about.

"So…wha' would you say to 'er?" he asked as they walked. "If you could wha' would you tell 'er?"

She eyed him skeptically as they walked and shook her head. "I'm not sure to be honest. I think I probably would have just…said whatever I said. I'm sure it wouldn't have been great and surely won't have made up for it."

"I' woulda been fine," he countered. "Wha' kinda librarian can' use words?!"

"What kind of thief doesn't keep money for himself?!"

"One with a code!" he responded quickly with a hint of a tease at the corner of his mouth. It made her smirk when he glanced over at her and she quickly looked out to the ocean. He made her smile and even laugh sometimes but with everything that she'd been through sometimes it just didn't seem like she should. "Oi! 'Ere," he reached out suddenly and grabbed her arm before stepping in front of her and cutting the two of them off. "Wha' would you say," he pushed, "pretend I'm 'er. Wha' would you say to Anna? Me. I make a good girl, I promise…that came out wrong."

She snorted and rolled her eyes at his silliness, but suddenly didn't see it as the worst thing in the world. She'd wanted closure, she'd wanted to say and speak to Anna. So if she'd had the opportunity, what would she say? "I'd tell her…I'd tell her I'm sorry," she muttered sadly, trying not to cry. "I'd tell her that I'm sorry I didn't do something to help her, that I put something as ridiculous as magic and memories above her own life, that I didn't say something sooner to the others because I was afraid of what they'd say to me or think of me."

"And…" he pushed. And. What "and"?! She was pretty certain there was nothing else. "And...wha' would she say to you?" he questioned further, "after you've said all this wha' would she say back?"

Knowing Anna… a lot. She'd say too much probably, a long rambling story about how she understood and there were no hard feelings but in the end all that would matter would be that one thing that she hadn't realized until just that moment, until Will have finally forced her to do something she should have done long ago. "She'd forgive me," she muttered with a smile.

"See," Will commented taking his place back by her side, "tha' wasn' so 'ard now was i'?!"

No, it wasn't. In fact everything with Will that week had been simple. So much easier than any relationship she'd ever had. And with him around things got even easier than she'd expected. He liked Rapunzel. When she told him one afternoon at the shop that it was strange how she heard from Rapunzel almost every day but had yet to actually talk to her since she'd started working for her in the library, he'd arrived the next morning before even she had and asked for her keys to the store. According to him, he'd been watching her all week and he knew what to do there, she needed to go make friends with Rapunzel.

She appreciated the gesture, but what surprised her the most was that she trusted him. She hadn't known just how much she trusted him until that moment when she felt no hesitation to hand over the shop and put it in his care while she went to see Rapunzel. It was nice to get to know someone new for a change. She took Rapunzel out to breakfast at a place she'd visited with her dad and listened as she talked about the wonders of this world and the struggles that she encountered. She gave her advice and encouraged her to give living in the apartment a try. She said she'd consider it, though there was just something about the idea of living there that reminded her of her tower.

They'd had a good time and it was clear that Will was right, they'd both been in need of a friend. And that afternoon when she returned she found her baby just as she'd left it with Will sitting behind the counter reading Moby Dick. And now...

"'ere's anotha one," he stated looking on the cart they were using to stack books back on the shelves. He was a good friend and a fast learner. Henry helping at the shop and Rapunzel here was wonderful but Will was always willing to lend a hand and the fact that he picked up what she was doing quickly made him beyond helpful sometimes.

"Thank you," she smiled taking the book from him without examining it. She trusted him, this was where it needed to go. "So…" she went on finding it's place, "I don't exactly understand why being a thief appealed to you in the way that it did. Didn't you ever want to do more with your life?"

"I kinda think tha' was why the Merry Men phase came along," he answered quickly. "And for the record...I was a great King when I lived in Wonderland. Brillian' actually!"

She shook her head already sensing his sarcasm and began to make her way to another shelf. "Oh well, I'm sure you were. All hail the King!" she chuckled. "But the king part I understand, the thief part is what is a little-"

She popped her head up from her work as the library door opened and shielded her eyes from the light to see a woman walk in and look around, probably for her. It was a woman she knew.

"Belle, hi!" Mary Margaret breathed when she finally caught her eye.

"Mary Margaret…" she blanched, shocked at her sudden reappearance. Emma and Hook she'd seen enough over the last week, Hook she'd seen too much of sometimes. Still, Emma and Henry were always happy to help with the researching she and Hook were doing and she'd even seen David once or twice when he'd come over to check on things or pick up Emma or Henry, or on occasion call Emma away to do police work. And yet in all of this Mary Margaret was always mysteriously missing. It wasn't that she didn't understand, she did have a son to raise and a town to run, not to mention Henry's little tip that she wanted to give her a little space. So her sudden arrival at the library made her stomach turn upside-down as she began to imagine the horror that had brought Mary Margaret to her this time in search of help. "What uh…what can I do for you?"

The woman opened her mouth and shook her head but the moment her eyes roamed her demeanor changed. "Will Scarlet…!" Mary Margaret smirked crossing her arms over her chest and eyeing him suspiciously. "What are you doing here?"

"Madam Mayor," Will muttered behind her. "For your information I was jus' leaving."

"Leaving? Why?" she questioned surprised at the sudden news of his departure.

"Actually if it's on my behalf it's not necessary," Mary Margaret. "As of this morning Regina and I signed the papers to reinstate her as mayor. I'm going back to teaching. In a couple of weeks everything will be ready and the transition will be complete. And as you've already been pardoned…there's nothing I can do. Just stay out of trouble. And congratulations on your con…it was quite convincing and coming from a former bandit that had to con her way out of a few tight situations herself...that's a compliment."

"Well thank you," he announced after a moment, his back straightening with pride. "Thank you very much! I'm rather proud of it meself!" She looked between the two of them, confused as ever, wondering what was going on. What were they talking about? Pardoned? Con? "In tha' case," Will stepped up and grabbed the book cart by it's handle, "I'll finish these off and leave the two of you to chat. Remember! Only nice things abou' the gentleman!"

In a matter of seconds he disappeared behind one of the bookshelves, leaving her questions unanswered and unasked. And Mary Margaret…

"You know I always wondered what happened to him," she whispered staring at the place he'd once been. "Good to know he's found something useful and productive to do, of course if he starts to bother you then call David."

"He's a friend," she remarked immediately, still trying to figure out what she was talking about.

"Oh!" Mary Margaret said with a little gasp before her smile fell all too easily back into place. "Good. I'm glad for you, that you have a friend, that's…that's good."

She opened her mouth to correct her because she could already see that she'd taken it the wrong way but before she could Mary Margaret held a manila folder up for her. "Do you have a minute?" she asked.

Of course, she'd nearly forgotten, Mary Margaret had come here for something or other. For what was in the folder? More missing persons files? Perhaps other information Emma had asked her to drop off? "Yeah, sure," she muttered looking over her shoulder for Will but he was still hidden away somewhere. "Is it the hat?" she asked as Mary Margaret set the folder down on top of the circulation desk.

"No, nothing like that," she smiled opening it up. "I just…I wanted to show you these. Nancy will give them out tomorrow and who knows if she'll get them all back or not. But I thought you should see them for yourself." Again she felt like she was speaking in riddles but as she stepped up to the folder she saw…paper? Notebook paper. Dozens of sheets stapled together, with red marks on it, and names on each one. Names that she recognized.

"The kid's reports," she breathed looking over them with excitement. John-A. Marsha-A. Lily-B+. Tony-A. Jordan-A-. Franklin…D? "I uh…I don't remember him," she muttered pointing him out.

"Yeah, well…thus the grade," Mary Margaret responded. Suddenly she understood and filled up with a sense of pride that she thought she'd lost weeks ago. A's and B's. Everyone that had stepped into this library and asked her for help had gotten it and done well. The two or three that hadn't…they'd done less than well. It was a good feeling. One that nearly put happy tears into her eyes, tears that she didn't think she'd ever be able to feel again because she'd secretly doubted that she'd ever be that happy again but…

"I don't understand," she stated, shaking her tears away and glancing up at Mary Margaret. "Why did you show these to me?"

Mary Margaret sighed and pushed herself away from the desk. "Because I wanted you to see what you did," she answered. "Because it wasn't that long ago, when we were all hurting, that you remembered that and brought us back for a reason and now that you're hurting, again…I ran the other direction. Because…mostly because when I realized it I needed an excuse to come over and see how you were doing for myself."

Her smile vanished and she crossed her arms over herself feeling suddenly exposed. That answer had started out kind and her intentions were good but somehow the truth of why she was here, to check on her, the first one to stop by and admit that they were checking on her, it made her feel like some kind of animal at a zoo. "I'm fine," she answered quickly, wondering where Will had gone and wishing he'd come back into the room again.

"No one expects you to be fine," Mary Margaret answered.

"I know," she responded quickly, catching herself before she started sounding too snappy. Mary Margaret was her friend. She was just trying to be her friend again, like Will. And though she didn't know if she was really ready for that yet, if she'd learned anything it was that she needed to push herself forward sometimes. No matter how much it hurt. "I just…if I can't be 'fine' right now…then I don't want to be what I am when I'm not fine."

She wasn't making any sense. She knew she wasn't making any sense. Not to Mary Margaret. Not to a woman that was going to go home to her true love and daughter and son and grandson and… Will would understand. Later, Will would understand. And until then she just needed to stay fine.

"Okay," Mary Margaret nodded as if she could know what she was talking about. "That's fine, that's…I think that's great," she smiled. "I just…I wanted to let you know that if you need anything or need someone to talk to you can call David and I. Things are…things are quiet now and it's nice but making David antsy. If you ever need him to lock up or walk you to your car-"

"I have Will," she insisted quickly. David was nice and protective in a big brother way. She was sure if she offered he'd be all too happy to help her in any way she needed but the truth was that right now she was managing to stand on her own two feet, barely and only with the help of Rapunzel and Henry, and of course with Will's careful pushing and shoving, but she was managing. She wanted it to stay that way.

"I'm glad," Mary Margaret smiled. "It's…it's good for you."

It was, but not in the way that she thought it was. She wanted to correct her, to tell her exactly what was going on…but it wouldn't help anything. Mary Margaret was here for good reasons. It was nice to know that she cared, that David cared, that she thought enough of what she'd done with the kids to come by and show her the good that she should still do. Mary Margaret was here to help her take a big step forward. She couldn't manage that yet. But she could manage small ones.

"I have to get back to work," she muttered, hiding away her insecurity and remembering the papers she'd been shown. She could do good in all kinds of ways. And maybe even another one. "But…if you and David ever want to go out some night, to get away like last time, please call me. I miss watching Neal."

Mary Margaret smiled. "Really?" she questioned. "You wouldn't mind?"

She shook her head startled to find that she didn't. The truth was that she was never very good at watching Neal, but did like doing it. It gave her purpose and right now, she needed as much purpose as she could get from anyone willing to give it. "Call me any time," she concluded. A few moments later after Mary Margaret had given her a hug, left, come back for the papers, and left again, while Will was still back hiding in the shelves somewhere, she knew that no matter how awkward and unexpected the visit felt it was good. If small steps forward were all she could manage on her own, then small steps forward were what she would do. Little by little, she wouldn't just take her life back, she'd create a new one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One month later this is finally the reintroduction back into the main group for something more than her brain. Hook wants her for her brain, Mary Margaret wants her back because she understands that she is family and she misses her and that is going to be good for her just like Will is only in a different way. I know it seems complex but I promise I'm about to tell a story with all of this that will be much better than the little bit we got in 4B!
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	11. Kinda Sorta Moving On

She was busy. She and Hook had been working hard to figure out what could be done about the hat, every day they found time to trap themselves together in the library and read more and more about it. There was no avoiding it, they had to spend the time together. And in the end she began more and more to realize just how terrible he felt about the entire situation, to see his determination to fix it. It was good. It still wasn't enough to earn him forgiveness for the sins of his past where she and Neal were concerned, but it did for the fairies. And that was good. But every time Emma came by to offer her help she admitted to feeling awkward around the two of them and wishing they'd just leave it to her. They were…strange to her. In a way that she couldn't quite put her finger on. It was better when she was by herself. But strangely enough, it was best when it was her and Hook alone. Ignorant as he'd been in the beginning he was finally catching on and they'd discovered that they had skills that were complimentary. They pushed each other...she just wished that there was a greater reward at the end of it all instead of what they were left with today.

They'd learned a little in their time together. But not a lot. Just enough to encourage them to continue the work they were doing, but little enough to usually send them home each night frustrated. They'd determined that freeing the fairies was the key. The fairies had the strongest controllable magic in Storybrooke and if they could get them out then they could pick up their work and continue to free anything else trapped inside. Beyond that knowledge, which was more a plan than knowledge, they'd learned nothing more than undetermined things. No, no one knew what the hat was made of. No one knew it's origin, why it was created, and there were even conflicting reports about who had really made it! About the only thing relative to their search that they'd actually learned was that anything freed from the hat could never be put back in. Apparently an apprentice of the sorcerer, in this tale he was called Merlin, had trapped a particularly cruel schoolmate within the hat as a small boy. Merlin freed him but later, after he'd learned magic and became a menace to society, Merlin could not trap him or his magic within the hat again. It was hopeful news…but not very helpful as the tale mentioned nothing about how they'd removed the boy in the first place. However putting things in the hat...that was another story entirely.

She'd dug up the dagger. There was little choice in that. Hook told her it was the only thing that he'd ever seen that had worked to open it and though they hadn't tried it yet because they didn't want to risk accidentally losing someone else to the terrible item. So for now she kept it close by, so that on the day they did finally figure out what they needed to do to free her friends then no one had to wait for her to get the dagger since neither Emma nor Regina could open it on their own. It stayed locked inside the safe once more, along with the hat. She wished she could think of some place better but for now…it would have to do. As soon as she and Hook cracked this code it would go right back to its spot in the ground.

Will was busy too. In his own way. He and Little John had taken over the Merry Men in the woods and though John seemed to do well with it there was always an occasion every couple of days that delayed his arrival. Once in the morning because of some spat or squabble and then again that afternoon because apparently someone wanted to call Robin Hood and take orders from him instead of the two of them. He'd left quickly and returned that evening as she was closing up the shop.

"Everything alright?" she'd asked as he'd come inside and jumped up to sit on the back table.

"Eh…the men are restless. The one disadvantage to 'aving a princess like Snow White cas' the curse, there aren' many 'ere to actually rob from. And thieves tha' wander around without a purpose…problems are bound to arise."

She finished shelving a few of her items before turning and facing him. "But everything is alright? Now at least?"

He nodded. "Order 'as been restored. I think i' was jus' a momentary lapse in judgemen'. Everyone misses the ring leader, but we're big strong men so we can' exactly say it like tha'. We 'ave to throw a coupla punches firs' jus' for effec'...show we mean business. Tha' way no one knows 'ow much we miss 'im."

"Heaven forbid…" she chuckled, though she saw the problem easily enough. She understood it. Missing someone. Things were fine during the day, but even knowing what she did know now, sometimes at night when the house was quiet and she was alone, she knew she shouldn't, but she just couldn't help herself, sometimes she missed-

"'ow was your day?" Will asked suddenly. "Sell anything ye'?" she smiled and shook her head happy for his perfect timing and the distraction he presented her with. Someday someone was going to come into this shop when he was actually here and then he would see that she wasn't crazy and people did stop by…occasionally…for more than just research.

"Oi!" he called after her as she shut the cabinets and reached for her bag, the last thing that she usually did before she left. When she turned around he was holding up an old book that she had set on the table. "You forgo' one!"

She sighed as she went back to the table and took it from him. "No, it's just…homework…for tonight. Hook and I spent the afternoon in the library researching again."

He smiled and hopped down off the table. "That's one way of sayin' i'. Sa' awkwardly a' the table and snarled at each other is another."

She glared at him as she turned the lights off in the back room. "It's not that bad."

He turned off the lights as she pulled out her keys to lock the door. "Oh, I've 'ad meself a peek in the window when the two of you do your 'research' and trus' me…i' is tha' bad."

"Well then next time you should come in and say 'hi' instead of spying and see for yourself."

"I think I'll pass on tha' actually…for good reason!" She rolled her eyes as she locked the door.

"Really, you have yet to tell me about this good reason for suddenly disappearing every time we 'do our research'."

"Also for a good reason…"

The two of them began the short walk down the street to where she always left the car now. This had become fairly normal since that night in the pawn shop too. He was funny and easy to talk to, but he was also a gentleman. He always walked her to the car, always opened the door for her. And she pretended that she didn't notice, that she just didn't care, but the truth was that she did. She appreciated the small acts of kindness. It reminded her of Neal.

"So…'ow did things go with tha' today…besides the 'research'."

She sighed sadly as they walked and felt a frown automatically come to her face. "Still nowhere unfortunately. I mean…I've pulled nearly every record I can find in the library on it and read everything that I think I can read, but it's old. And when something is old, not to mention naturally mysterious, there are lots of tales and rumors and half of them aren't true, the other half are exaggerated or full of useless information, but all of them have some grain of truth to them! It's just that sorting right from wrong and figuring it out which grains are worth following after seems endless. I've found references to the Sorcerer, but no one seems to really know what happened to him or the boy he once had as an apprentice. We've found a couple of names, Yen Sid, Merlin, Flammel, Morgana…but no two are ever alike. He could be anybody! It's just…discouraging.

"We've been doing this for a little over a week now and the fairies still aren't free. It takes a great amount of channeled magic to actually open the hat and while Hook and I have figured out how to open it we don't want to because I can't find anything to actually extract the magic from it. It's difficult but we don't actually want to try anything without being sure we won't accidentally put half the town in the hat. I don't know what kind of damage we can do or if there's even damage to be done if things go wrong because other than a couple of vague references it doesn't appear than anyone has ever pulled magic from the hat before. Or if they have it's not documented! I just don't-"

"Word of advice…" Will interrupted suddenly. She glanced over at him as they strolled, desperate for any words that anyone could offer. "Breathe," he smiled. Breathe?! What was she supposed to…oh, yes sometimes she got a bit ahead of herself. Especially lately when all she really had was work to throw herself into.

"Right, sorry," she said taking one of the proposed breaths. "Sometimes I…"

"No, I don' wan' you to be sorry! I get i'. It's a lo' of pressure but if anyone can figure i' ou' you can. I don' know anyone smarter meself! And it's only been a 'little over a week'. You'll get i'."

"Thank you," she blushed looking back down the street as the car came into view. She appreciated the sentiment, truly she did and she liked the fact that she felt like he trusted her just as much as she trust him so quickly, she just hoped that she didn't let him down. Or anyone in particular. Rumpelstiltskin had done this because she'd refused to see what was happening, she felt like it was her responsibility to fix it. Hook had been right that first time he'd come to see her.

"Other word of advice…words of advice actually," Will commented again in the silence. This time she looked up at him and saw seriousness etched into his face and she nodded. "Seems easy and stupid, I know, but 'umor me. Wha' did the internet say?"

"The internet?" she questioned.

"Yeah…internet…world wide web."

She shook her head. "Why would I check the…"

"Bugger, who doesn' check Wikipedia before researching anything?! You should see the page I've go' dedicated to me. Not to mention the one for to you! I figure if the res' of the world seems to know about us, i' only seems natural tha' they might know something about your ha' too."

"Stories," she excused. No, she hadn't thought to check the internet, mostly because she preferred books and she didn't know how to work it. In fact she wouldn't even know where to begin with working it, but she didn't need to. This was the World Without Magic, nothing it would ever spit out would help.

"Bu' every story 'as a small grain of truth to i', you said so yourself."

That was true. She'd read _La Belle Et La Beta_ a hundred times here and in the Enchanted Forest and while she thought that she bore little similarity to the woman that shared her name, even less now that she had no happy ending to go home to at night, the others did see similarities. And if the Sorcerer was as powerful as some of the books said he was, then it was possible he'd been able to cross realms with and without magic. It was always possible, she supposed that something she hadn't read had crossed over. And she did want to be thorough, only…she shook her head. It was a silly thought. Her? Use the internet?

"I'm not sure," she confessed. "Even if there was something out there I'm not sure how good I'd be at it."

"Everyone is good a' the internet," he figured tapping the side of his head, "it's automatically programmed in thanks to Regina's curse! No' to mention our one link to the world beyond Storybrooke."

"That and cell phones."

"Yeah…don't remind me."

She laughed at him before thinking back to the computer that she had in the library. She only used it for books, checking out, checking in, that sort of thing. It did have an internet connection, but…but she wasn't exactly programmed like the rest of Storybrooke was.

"Lacey wasn't exactly one for technology."

"Neither was I, bu' I still managed to order a leather jacke' from New York City during the curse…course i' never go' here, bu' that's not exactly my faul'….didn' know that then…" he reminisced.

"I don't think it would help much," she concluded. If it took her forever to learn how to use it and was bad at it and all it got her was a story or two…it wasn't worth it.

"Never know," he went on. "Might be helpful to talk to a few others though. Compare stories, get some other brains in on it, never know what you might get."

Talk to others. Compare stories. Get help. That was something she hadn't considered. She hadn't said it out loud, not to Will and definitely not to Hook, but she had been feeling it this week, a sharp regret in her heart for what she'd done by sending Rumple away and a stab of guilt for thinking it because her regret was for selfish reasons. Hook had said it himself. The only one in Storybrooke who knew more about this than her was Rumpelstiltskin. Aside from what he'd done she often found herself wishing that she could talk to him, that she had someone to help her through the magic. She'd managed before, on her own and with Regina. But she wasn't fond of the idea of going to Regina at the moment. And the stuff she'd figured out on her own…that was more logic and luck…but outside of Storybrooke?

Was it possible there were people outside of the town that knew about magic? Their kind of magic? People she could talk to? She'd been looking into history on the hat. Maybe she needed to approach it from somewhere else. Maybe she needed someone to give her a few new ideas. That might be worth it.

"Can the internet do that?" she clarified as they arrived at her car and stopped.

"That's pretty much wha' the internet is for," Will chuckled.

"Can…can you show me?" she asked timidly, though she wasn't quite sure why. It wasn't as if they hadn't spent more time together this week than she had with Rumpelstiltskin in the last year.

He nodded. "Tomorrow night over at the library."

Tomorrow night. She nodded. It wasn't as if she had anything else to do with her life than work late. "That sounds great! It's a date," she agreed. "I'll bring the computer," she said before turning to unlock the door.

"I'll bring the food."

Food? There would be food involved? Why food?

"Oh…" she gasped realizing too late her mistake and spinning back to face him, feeling suddenly pale. "When…when I said 'it's a date', I didn't mean-"

"Righ', no of course no'," he responded stepping away and shaking his head.

"It's just too soon," she tried to explain.

"Yeah you're righ', far, far, too soon-"

"-and after Rumple and everything-"

"-Belle, look I get i' alrigh'. Far too much on your plate to have dinner with a dashingly 'andsome friend...which was all I mean' by i' really. Figure of speech and all tha'..."

She felt her stomach drop as he said the words and realized that she'd over thought what he'd meant. Dinner with a friend. Was that all he'd been asking for? According to him but...had she read more into it that she thought? Maybe. Maybe not. She liked Will. This week had been great, or better at least. The last month had crawled by almost painfully and yet this week seemed to have flown. She felt better in a way, happier when he was around and she liked him. He was a great friend and if things were different, different time different place, the answer might have been different, but it wasn't. Rumpelstiltskin…

Rumpelstiltskin was gone. The man that she knew and loved, if he ever existed to begin with was nowhere to be found and he wasn't coming back. It had been more than a month. They were going to spend the evening together anyway. Why should she be hesitant? It was just as he'd said, dinner with a friend on top of learning. And Rumple…even if he did come back, which he wasn't, there couldn't be anything between them anymore. Moving on was inevitable. Like death. Why not do it sooner rather than later. She enjoyed spending time with Will and there were worse people that she could jump into something with than him.

And at least if she did this maybe people in town would stop looking at her like she was broken. Maybe the few friends she had left would stop treating her with kid gloves. Maybe if she forced herself to move on, she actually would.

"Actually…I think dinner would be great. I'd…I'd look forward to it," she finally choked out, forcing a smile onto her lips.

Will only smirked. "I appreciate you saying that," he muttered, in a low voice that they both understood. They were settling. Both of them. She wasn't Anastasia and he wasn't Rumpelstiltskin, but…maybe that would be a good thing. For both of them. "Righ', so…you bring the computer, I'll bring the dinner."

She smiled, remembering what they'd talked about before. "You're a thief that doesn't keep money."

Will's smirk broke out into a smile. "Who said money would be involved?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will and Belle's relationship...it's cute. And really that's about as deep as it goes. Cute. I tend to think of it in terms of fire. Both Will and Belle sat by the fire and enjoyed everything about it...until they got burned. Badly. So naturally they want to shy away from that fire and for a while think maybe I'll sit by the radiator for a bit, it's just as capable of producing warmth...but it's not. It gives off the necessary heat but it doesn't crackle and pop, it doesn't smell the same, there is nothing beautiful about it. But it's safe. Safer than the fire. And I think after what they both with through with their perspective fires they are both in that phase of settling only for the radiator. Eventually they'll learn the difference, that it's not as exciting and wonderful as the fire, but they need the time by the radiator to heal, keep warm, and frankly begin to realize that there is more to the fire than just warmth. They both need to get back to the place where they are willing to be burned again. Does that make sense? I hope that my strange little metaphor makes sense...who knows...
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	12. Dinner With A Friend

The internet actually made far more sense than she ever thought that it would. When he showed up at the library the next night around dinner time he'd set a giant burlap bag that he'd brought with him down and the pair of them had gotten straight to work on what she needed to know. The beginning was more difficult than she'd expected. Buttons and icons and even cables and wires that she'd never used and frankly had never needed to use suddenly became the most important thing in the world if she was really going to do this. Will handled installation and updates for her, which she couldn't entirely understand the purpose of and secretly wished that Lacey had been more of a computer person than she was a barfly, but eventually he said he was ready for her and told her to pull up a chair besides him.

As it turned out the internet was one of the easiest things to use she'd encountered in this world. Everything was self-explanatory once she was actually in the little window. "It's sorta an invisible realm that exists only on a computer screen. And you can ge' there withou' portals, which is handy, all you need really is a password to most things."

"So…where do I look for the hat? If I want to talk to people about it, that is?"

"Well for the ha' a search engine will do just fine." She watched as he moved his fingers over the keyboard and the typed words "Sorcerers Hat" appeared in a little box labeled "search". It was so easy it was almost laughable. "Ah, see! Wikipedia, firs' link…told you i' was the place everyone started." She ignored the comment and let her eyes work their way down what was on the screen. He was right, there was an article from the Wikipedia place he loved so much, four pictures of the same blue cone hat with silver stars and moons on it sitting in the middle of what looked like a park of some kind with a funny white glove tipping it up, then more articles the first line all stating that the hat was some great icon of another realm of some sort…

Beside her Will clicked on images and brought up a page of pictures. Some of that same statue she'd seen on the previous screen and others… "Is that a mouse wearing the hat?" she questioned.

"Tha' would be one of stories tha' exists 'ere tha' I told you abou'," he answered and she glared at him because out of all the stories she'd read in her books that was easily the most far-fetched one she'd ever heard.

"A mouse wearing a hat…"

He shrugged. "Well I never said you wouldn' 'ave to sor' through things, only tha' i' might help."

"Right," she conceded, remembering the other reason she was learning to do this. Help. Because while she doubted that the computer would give her heaps of information she didn't already know, what she really wanted was to talk to others, include a few more brains in the process besides her's and Hook's. "Talking to other people, how do I do that? Where do I find them?"

"Chatrooms, message boards," he answered before doing some more fiddling. Suddenly the words "Magic chatrooms and message boards" was keyed into the searching box and she watched as the computer searched all over the world for her request and had the results for her in less than a second. Part of her marveled every time that happened. Part of her feared that a computer could do her job all too easily and leave her looking for a job with Rapunzel at Granny's.

"See! Lot's of options," Will muttered rolling down the screen. Scrolling. It was called scrolling, she remembered that. "Again, you'll have to weed through some of these to find the more useful ones…" the little arrow stopped over a link for a message board about the occult. "And be careful with what door you knock on."

"I'm sure I've dealt with far darker magic than they've ever imagined existed," she whispered.

"I don' doubt tha'," he said before clicking on one of the chatrooms for something called Dungeons and Dragons. Really? How much about dragons did the people outside of Storybrooke know about?! "You'll have to find the ones you like bu' they're all pretty similar, I can show you 'ere." He explained about forums and sub forums, topics and posters and replies. Then took her into one of the topics where someone had posted a question about the weasel that lived in his beard for some odd reason and showed her what it looked like to have things-people-posters reply. "It's all the same basic idea," he repeated finishing up.

"So…I can talk to any of these people, no matter where they're from, any that I want?" she clarified.

"More or less, it migh' take ya some time to ge' an actual reply, but it's also public, so be aware tha' the whole world will be able to see wha' you pos'." Public. With the kind of magic she was dealing with? Whether or not people would believe that she really had magic she wasn't quite sure she wanted to expose the world to something like that, or for that matter expose Storybrooke to the world like that.

"Is there any way to make it…not public?" she questioned awkwardly.

"Private, yeah."

"How?"

Will shrugged his shoulders and scrolled up to the place in the top right hand corner that said "Login" and "Register". "Not be a gues'," he explained, "create accounts, get an e-mail address…probably no' a half bad idea for a library or a librarian, actually." E-mail. She knew that one. Lacey had one, not that she'd ever really used it since she'd been one to make friends quickly and leave them quickly, nothing had been long term for her. But it was basically letters from what her false memories gave her. Letters that traveled via computer instead of by a horse or in a little red, white, and blue car. And if it meant she could talk with others privately then…that might be a necessity.

"How?" she asked again.

Predictably enough he typed something else into the computer and pulled up something that looked like a form only with boxes instead of lines. "Jus' some basic information and a screen name. Nothing to i' really." Right, just like everything else on the internet, anyone could do it. Easy enough. "You could use anything," he went on after typing in all the little boxes and pausing by the one that wanted the "username". "Like…oh!" after a moment an idea struck him and he leaned forward and typed something into one of the little boxes. She peered over his shoulder and-

"Brunette with a Brain?" she read before glaring at him.

"No spaces," he corrected. "Jus' an idea."

Anyone else and she probably would have told them off, but it was Will and making jokes like that just seemed to come naturally to him. Besides, at least this was a flattering joke. She shook her head and bit back a laugh. "How about something a little more professional, like 'Storybrooke Public Library'?" she requested politely. "No spaces," she added in for good measure.

"Well sure if you wan' to be blun' abou' i', but where is your creativity?"

"I'm saving it for your birthday present."

"Storybrooke Public Library i' is," he agreed before banging away on the keyboard and pulling a yellow sticky note toward him and writing down the link, username, and password he'd given her so that she could check it. "And just a tip, I know I look all manly and rough on the outside, but on the inside…I'd love a nice wool sweater."

She smiled at him again. "I'll remember that." Quick on his feet and interesting. She liked that about him. And the fact that he already had her smiling and laughing again…sometimes it seemed too remarkable even for what she'd seen in her life.

"Righ'…okay, mission accomplished, time for dinner."

She felt a small wave of nervous energy roll through her chest. Dinner. Right, that. This was after all supposed to be a date. Rumpelstiltskin wasn't coming back, Anastasia wasn't coming back…why not?! She could handle a date. Or, as Will had put it, just dinner with a friend. That she could certainly handle.

"So…" she nodded reaching for her jacket and bag. "Where are we going?" Was that right? She'd never really been on a date before, not really as herself. She and Rumpelstiltskin had hamburgers together on occasion but she wasn't really sure that qualified given the circumstances. She never really felt like they'd ever "dated" just enjoyed spending as much time together as they possibly could. So what were the rules for dating? Was she allowed to ask where they were going or just-

"Who said we're going anywhere?" Will questioned suddenly picking up that bag that he'd carried in with him and she'd forgotten about. She followed him curiously as he wandered off into the library and looked around before finally approaching one of the reading tables. "This looks like a nice spo'," he concluded. "Comfortable, quie', no one to stare at us. And if you get bored you can star' to read…no one would blame you."

She opened her mouth to say that she wasn't going to do that but he wasn't watching her. Instead he set the bag he'd brought down and opened it up. To her amazement he pulled out two plates, silverware, a couple of napkins, and wine glasses. Then Tupperware containers, three small ones to be exact. It was difficult to tell through the steamy lids but one had meat, another potatoes, and anther had something green. Maybe a salad or green beans. Finally he stood back and presented it to her but then let out a little "oh!" and stepped forward again, pulling out a water bottle and…two candlesticks! "Finishing touch!" he declared setting them out and lighting them. "Sorry," he muttered finally standing presenting the finished product for her. "I had to get creative with the wine."

Creative indeed, and yet…possibly the nicest attempt that anyone and that included Rumpelstiltskin, had ever made to have her on a nice dinner. The location was perfect, the food was just enough, and the setting… Candles! He'd thought of everything.

"It's um…" she swallowed down tears of happiness that she thought until now she'd never shed again with Rumple out of her life. But still…the gesture was touching…she was touched. "It's quite lovely."

"We'll call i' Storybrooke Public Library," he pronounced, moving to a chair and pulling it out for her. "And jus' as I promised, no money was involved in the making of this meal. Can' say the same abou' the wine though."

"Considering the circumstances I think I can overlook that little detail," she sat down and he pushed her chair in before quickly going to take his place at the other side of the table.

"The men and I live off the forest," he explained opening up container after container and offering her the green one filled with meat. "I dunno if you've ever had deer over an open fire before." She shook her head and happily took the container from him. It was a combination of two worlds she had eaten before. Things roasted over the fire was a lowly way peasants and drifters made food in their realm. But she'd done it with Neal and with the others when they'd ventured up to Rumpelstiltskin's castle. Then, it was mostly small things. Boar, turkey, pheasant, things they could consume completely without leaving behind a trace. Never deer. But she had eaten deer when she'd lived in her father's palace. However it had always been prepared extravagantly then. Nothing had ever been roasted over anything or at least never anything as slip shot as a camp fire.

It was delicious, though. Even after he admitted to her that it was leftovers more or less leftovers from what the men had eaten at camp before he'd come over. But she liked that. She liked that he was honest with her, even if he didn't intend to be. He wore his emotions on his sleeves and it was such a wonderful radical change from what she'd had. It made things easy. And after trying so hard and failing to make her relationship with the Dark One into something it wasn't…it was nice for something to come easily. Really nice. And she couldn't help but wonder if he felt it too. If after Anastasia she was a welcomed relief. She hoped she was, she hoped that she was just as easy to like as he was, just as honest. She would have hoped that she was just as emotional as he was but after the night he'd come to the shop when she'd called, what she now understood as one of the best decisions she'd made in the month that he'd gone away, she didn't think it was possible for her to be more emotional. Neal's advice, or her own…calling him had been a good move.

"How did you do it?" she asked him hours later, after the sun had set and the candles were beginning to die away. They'd eaten and talked for hours again. She had no idea that people could talk for hours the way they did. She didn't know that it was possible to talk uncensored and without fear of hurting the other person. "How did you move on? After Anastasia I mean."

"I don' think it's as much a definite thing as you make i' sound," he answered sadly looking into the bottom of his wine glass.

"So how do you live with it then? The sadness. The pain."

"The guilt?" he questioned looking up at her skeptically. Sometimes it scared her when she realized just how well he knew her already. She shouldn't have guilt, but sending him over the town line, nothing but maybe the cell phone she'd never found in his pockets…she'd always carry that with her. "I' never really goes away," he answered. "Eventually you wake up one day and realize you can' change the past, but you can choose to live in the present, to make a future for yourself. You remind yourself day in and day out tha' we reap wha' we sow and tha' she…they made their own choices and tha' those choices got them to where they are today."

He made the choice to go over the town line…no. No that certainly hadn't been him. On this one thing he was wrong because she was certain it was her fault. "No…he didn't choose to go over the town line. He didn't choose to be out there alone!"

"And Anastasia didn' choose to be alone in 'er beloved castle forever," he countered. "I made tha' choice for 'er, but I also made i' for myself. You did wha' you 'ad to do, no doubts abou' tha', there isn't a better definition of gu' instinc' than wha' happened between the two of you tha' nigh'." She knew that. It was why he was out there alone instead of with his car or wallet, if she'd thought that far ahead and delayed the inevitable he might still be here, in town, wreaking havoc on those far less powerful than he was.

"But it's like I said," Will went on. "One day you'll wake up and realize tha' they did what they though' was best for them and we deserve to do wha' we think is best for us. The picture jus' looks a little different for each of us is all. We deserve to be 'appy. We deserve to move on and live our lives and whatever 'appens to us because of that choice…'appens."

It sounded just like what Neal had said to her too many times to count. He had a good point, she knew that, she just wondered how long it would take her to find peace of mind from it, how long it would take Rumpelstiltskin…

"How long did it take you…to wake up and realize that I mean?" she asked glancing back up at him.

He sighed and averted his eyes. "Who says I 'ave, ye'?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the thing, I know it's an unpopular opinion but the more and more I began to write Belle and Will the more I saw just how much their relationship made. And this conversation...this was the first time that I actually felt kinda bad for them because I think if Rumple had stayed away then they probably would have gone on and got married and had kids and no they never would have been in love but they would have loved each other. But here is why they don't work when Rumple, or even if Anastasia, returned...it's too easy. These two are fighters. They are bridge builders and mediators and this relationship they have is so natural that there is no fight to it. It's too easy. They would have loved each other but never really fell in love because there is nothing to fall into between them! That is why it falls apart when Rumple comes back.
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	13. The Answer to the Princess's Riddle

The internet might have been one of the biggest helps that she'd had, and yet not in the way that she thought. Yes, there were forums for magic, dark and light, but it was all theory. Some theories that came very close to the way that magic worked, others that were laughable. As if a few rhyming words would get a person the thing they wanted no strings attached! No. That wasn't the least bit helpful.

In the end when Henry had asked her what she was doing on the computer and if she needed help he was able to point her to something far more helpful. Role Playing Games.

"It's basically like another world," Henry explained to her. "People get together and pretend to be someone or even something else like elves and trolls and ogres-"

"Ogres?" she'd blanched. "Why-why would anyone want to be an ogre?"

"Their version of an ogre, not our version. It's all make believe, pretend. It's something they do to escape for a bit. You know, find some magic in a world without it."

"I don't know why they would want to do that."

"Because it's all pretend to them. They don't really know what it's like just that…it's interesting and fun. It's something different and takes them away. You know, like reading a good book."

It made sense to her, the way he described it, but she still couldn't break that terrible thought of an ogre bearing down on her and her mother. Why anyone would ever think that pretending to be an ogre even for something pretend was a good idea, was an idea beyond her. But what wasn't beyond her was what Henry had explained to her. Looking into the message boards for Role Playing Games…it was genius.

The message boards from these games, in the end, turned out to be the most helpful resource she had because she didn't have to censor herself like she did elsewhere. There the "posters", whoever they were, talked about all different types of scenarios that were just as strange, some even stranger than her problem. But no one ever blinked an eye because at the end of the day everyone understood that it was all make-believe. Which made it an ideal safe spot for her. She could be as truthful as she wanted there and no one would ever know it because they were all under the impression that everyone's truth was a lie. So she made a post inviting people around the world to help her solve a riddle. Of course she was a bit more extravagant than necessary, everything in that "world" was about extravagance, but she didn't have to use her imagination to help her with that. The things these people wanted so desperately to believe in was the world that she had come from and although she thought they saw it through rose-colored spectacles it was helpful enough for her.

"I'm a Princess from a far off foreign land that you have never heard of or seen. Not long ago a Dark Wizard took a hat made to look like the stars and galaxies from the night sky and trapped a very great very powerful force of good, fairies of light magic, within the hat. The Dark Wizard is gone, never to be seen or heard from again and unable to use his magic, and I, as the Princess of this realm, have been tasked with freeing the fairies from their prison. What is the answer to my riddle?"

"The answer to your riddle?" Will scoffed at it the next day as he looked it over and she shelved books.

"What?" she questioned looking over at him.

"Well, it's jus' kinda abrupt inni'? And you could 'ave a' leas' made it' a ques' instead of a riddle! Don' they like quests more?"

"I'm new at this," she insisted.

"Oh, you mean you've never played dungeons and dragons before? Well, in tha' case, it's grea'! Up until tha' las' poin' there you were doing jus' fine, very creative!"

"Make fun of it all you want, I'm not trying to be creative or impress anyone, and that post has gotten me more answers and ideas than I ever could have thought of alone or with Hook." And it was true. Of course there was a lot of other replies to wade through. People wanted her to build on the story and land she'd "created" for them, but she only gave them information that was pertinent to figuring out how to free her friends. One by one suggestions came in and she responded over he next couple of days and suddenly a search that began with two people was now hundreds, so many she had to have Henry help her sort through to find the best one, even then she was still left with dozens. What the people replying to her didn't know was that the answers she gave didn't come from her head, but were actually well researched true answers.

"The stars and galaxies on the hat, are they just for show or do they mean something?" one had written her. She'd set to work finding the answer, wondering why she hadn't thought of that herself. The only answer Hook had given was that the stars in the hat aligned with the stars in the sky on occasion and when that happened the power of the hat could be harnessed. The answer her books gave her was chilling.

"Each star on the hat represents power, magic taken from my world," she wrote back in the post.

That led into a conversation on possibly harvesting the magic from the hat to release the individuals. Was it possible for her to send a knight or magician inside the hat on purpose and free the magic within from the inside. It was a thought, but one that she didn't like. She couldn't even get the fairies out, there was no way to test getting anyone else out of the hat and she wasn't about to just send someone inside. Besides, she didn't know who or what was in that thing or why it was even made! For all she'd known it was intended to be a prison of some kind and she didn't want to accidentally just release anyone! So she wrote back. Sending someone inside required powerful magic she no longer possessed and posed a great risk for the individual that she would send. She couldn't do it.

A few others wondered if destroying the hat was the key. If the hat was destroyed then was it possible that the magic might reverse itself and spit the prisoners back out. She told them that wasn't possible either. To begin with it wouldn't solve her problem of not knowing who or what she was releasing into the world and for another thing…it was too delicate for that. She didn't want to take the risk that she'd destroy the fairies or the old man as well. If it was as simple as that then she would have just tossed the thing over the town line!

And then the inevitable came up, one that told her that she would need to find a few brave souls to take a quest, which Will only snickered at. They needed the help of the sorcerer strong enough to have done this in the first place. She needed to either destroy him to reverse his magic, or somehow sway him to reverse his spells. Was it possible he had a soft spot? Someone or something he cared about that she could hold over his head?

She nearly cried at that response and sat at the computer for hours wondering how she should respond to that. Tell them that she wasn't brave enough to do this? To go over the town line, after him herself and apologize and bring him home so they could work on things together? No. That wasn't the answer. Tell them that she'd already tried and failed to change him, to get him to be good? No. That wasn't right either. Tell them that she was the one that should have been enough, that should make him want to put everything back the way it was so that they could just have one more morning together, as they truly were with each other…no. She just couldn't.

"You don' 'ave to answer tha'," Will muttered behind her, a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "You don'. You can jus' ignore i'."

She couldn't ignore it. Not when it was part of her life every second. So, in the end she'd simply typed in a single line then had to excuse herself to go to the bathroom and cry alone. "As Princess I ordered the Dark Wizard put to death for his crimes…his magic remains."

It wasn't the exact truth. But in many ways it was, to her at least.

Fortunately this news didn't seem to hinder her intelligent friends and they went on making more and more suggestions than she and Hook could handle. Occupying their time so they knew more and more about the hat. They suggested everything from spells to potions, amulets and good witches, anything that could help until one morning when she woke up a new reply had been posted that gave her a new idea. "Perhaps instead of focusing on the hat's magic it's about the fairies magic. Instead of trying to figure out a spell that will extract something from the hat try a spell to extract the fairies from something."

It wasn't exactly a well thought out plan, but it was a start. A good start. It was a loophole, one that she hadn't thought to look for. Was it possible to summon fairies?

"Summon the fairies instead of pull them out of the hat? Could something like that work?" Hook asked her as they considered it a couple afternoons later.

"Possibly…we'd just have to figure out how to actually summon them. It would have to be a strong summoning. Fairies are old magic, probably just as old as the Dark One…finding information on that kind of magic…the fairies would guard that almost as much as Rumple guarded his secrets on dark magic."

"Alright, you're the expert researcher, where do we look first?"

It left them only one possible place to begin. The convent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the things that I wanted to showcase here and in later chapters was guilt. After Belle sent Rumple over the town line there was a debate, or an uproar I suppose, that said that it went against Belle's character to do something like that and I agree with about half of that. Yes, I think it was against Belle's character, but what she saw that night, what she learned and realized, I believe that it was so traumatic that she acted on instinct. I hesitate to use the phrase "she wasn't in her right mind" but I do believe that if she'd taken a breath and thought for a moment instead of acting on her emotions then she probably wouldn't have done it. So it's later, after it's all over and she's had time to calm down, like now that she begins to see "wait a second...maybe that wasn't the best idea" and feel guilt over the whole thing. And it is something that we are going to see haunt her more and more to the point that she will even consider going over the town line to get him.
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	14. Questioning Old Grudges

They didn't waste time, Hook was antsy as it was from doing very little other than looking at books over the last couple of weeks and the change of scenery was necessary. The pair of them left Rapunzel at the library and she called Will to ask him to watch the shop just a little bit longer for her. Together they grabbed flashlights and bags to put whatever they might find inside, then took off for the convent for what she was sure was going to be a very long trip, no matter how short it was actually going to be.

She'd never been up here before, but it was beautiful she supposed. A series of buildings huddled together right where Hook said they were…the middle of nowhere. It was dark and still. That was to be expected. As far as she knew all of the fairies had been gone since before the Spell of Shattered Sight had been cast and some how that just made the atmosphere she found herself standing in eerie. It felt haunted.

Hook bounded up the stairs and quickly tried to open the door. "Locked," he muttered before turning his eyes on the grounds. Before she could question what he was doing he'd retrieved a stone, gone back to the door and with a "watch your eyes love" reeled back.

"No! Stop!" she shouted grabbing his hand as she realized what he'd been about to do. "No, that's…that's not necessary," she informed him tossing the rock aside before he could break a window.

"Right, because you've got some kind of magical stardust to get us through a locked door?" he assumed.

"Something like that," she whispered, pulling pins out of her hair and kneeling down in front of the door. The only magic part about it was that she'd gotten this handy little ability from a magic curse. Since Regina had given her Lacey's memories, she had yet to meet a locked door that stood a chance against her. "There," she said as she opened the door and replaced her pins. "Less messy."

"Fascinating…" Hook muttered as he stared at her. "I've never seen this side of you before. I rather like it," he finished with a smirk she could only describe as mischievous.

She ignored him. Of course he hadn't "seen this side of her before". She'd remember if she ran into Hook during her time as Lacey. And while they'd been in the Enchanted Forest and she'd needed to use these skills he'd been off doing-

It didn't matter. How many times did she have to remind herself that it didn't matter what he'd been doing or where he'd been because until the fairies were free they were stuck together. There was no need to create any more animosity between the two of them than there already was. "I am capable of more than just reading books and studying, you know," she responded leading the way into the first building.

Hook moved quickly around her into the big dark room they'd come into and turned on his flashlight. She preferred a subtler, less graverobberesque approach. "Well…you're just full of surprises now-" he flinched and spun around when she found the light switch and illuminated the world around them. "Aren't you?" he finally finished looking almost embarrassed at his flashlight and lowering it.

"There's certainly more to me than meets the eye," she smirked proudly. She probably shouldn't have felt pride in their interaction, but it was there. After being seen as nothing but a weak bookworm for nearly all the time she'd known the man it was fun to know that her abilities could shock him as they did. Hopefully from this moment on he'd never see her as that weak bookworm again.

"So…what exactly are we supposed to be looking for here?" he questioned as they wandered further into the lifeless building. What were they looking for...wasn't that the question of the year!

"Anything," she breathed beginning in the room they'd turned up in. There were some books, there in the corner on the shelf. And on the stage there were some old dusty boxes. They were going to be here for a while. "If the Black Fairies wand was here I'll bet there is more. Find me magic, books, artifacts, anything that even remotely looks like it doesn't belong in a convent, or might be magical, or be helpful. We'll see what we can find."

It wasn't easy. And it certainly wasn't a short trip. When they missed lunch Emma appeared with pizza and a bottle of soda. Hook smiled, the way he always did whenever Emma dropped by. It was one of the few times she ever managed to catch a smirk like that on his face while they were working, but Emma or not, lunch or not, he didn't let it distract him. That was impressive. They didn't stop, merely ate while Emma joined in the search at his insistence. But Emma didn't stay for long, she had other duties to do. However she promised that if they were still at it by dinner then she'd send David out to help. In all honesty she wasn't sure what good that would do. Hook already came to her at everything he found that might remotely have magical properties. "What about this fuzzy green circle thing?" "A book of strange musical incantations?" "There is a golden ball on a chain over here!" The only thing more irritating than checking those items off the list was that she barely knew what she was looking for herself! If David came up here…it wouldn't help any. Unless the person was Regina and the idea of talking to her again after their last encounter didn't exactly give her the overwhelming need to go to her for help at the moment.

"Thanks for the offer," she dismissed, "but I think we're better off on our own, she muttered setting aside a box of old shoes."

"Alright," Emma conceded. "Not a problem just...remember to keep it down out here, alright. The last thing we need is this town realizing the fairies have been missing all this time. I'm enjoying this panic free lifestyle we've got going on right now."

"Noise free, love," Hook assured her. "If the lights weren't working we'd be using flashlights."

Emma left, and the two of them pressed on, looking in box after box of Christmas ornaments and candles and offering plates. There were coats and jackets, blankets and other items that had been set aside for the needy. The books were filled with songs and liturgy and otherwise unhelpful stories. They searched another building which turned out to hold the kitchen and dining room, then they left that building to get to the sanctuary where they also found the church office. Nothing. It looked like an ordinary office to her. Books filled with numbers, a rolodex, paper, pencils. Nothing! Nothing hidden or remotely magical!

"Have we checked that building yet?" Hook finally questioned, pointing out a window.

"No…" she sighed looking it over. It was a single floor, long, not very big. She could only assume that it could be one thing. "Must be the living quarters. We've found everything else."

"Worth a shot," he figured. She agreed and followed him over. This time he waited for her to unlock the door for them just as he had every other time and they found themselves inside a long hall with doors on either side. Hook opened one up and then closed it. "Cabins," he explained. In other, non-nautical terms that meant she was right, it was where they lived. It made sense. But they still had to be checked. All of them.

"Let's get to work," she conceded sadly. She knew it had been a long shot, coming out here with him. But…their magic had to be somewhere! Was it just so well hidden that they'd need magic to find it? Maybe she should have brought Rumple's black bag out with them. Magic might have been helpful, if not necessary, at a time like this. Surely she should have thought that the magic would be guarded in some way!

Finally they made their way into a room that wasn't for sleeping. Only…this didn't make sense. "Two offices?" Hook remarked looking around. "Why would they need two offices? We already found the offices in that building there!"

"Unless one of them isn't an office." Maybe she didn't need his magic. Maybe it was inside of her all along. That certainly felt like what was compelling her forward to look through the desks and closets…the filing cabinets. She nearly gasped when she opened the first drawer up. They weren't filled with files. They were-

"Spells!" Hook realized looking over her shoulder.

"Gently," she gasped as he picked one up and she realized what it was. A crumbling piece of old paper pressed and safe inside a piece of plastic, stored in its very own folder for preservation. "They're very, very old spells," she breathed carefully placing it back where it belonged.

"In very old language," Hook commented looking, gentler she admitted, through the folders before her. "How do we know which one we need?" he questioned. She rolled her eyes at him and flipped the folder closed.

"Some I can read, others…" she pointed to the tab, the little place on the folder where the title usually was, "I don't have to."

"'Ritual to incite prosperous living'," Hook read. "2nd century…trollish'?!" he blanched. "Trolls have a language?"

She sighed and sat down next to the bottom drawer wishing that she could do this alone. "Obviously," she muttered opening the drawer. "Just…start from the top and pull out anything that looks promising. We're looking for something to do with a summoning, fairies or light magic or…anything of that nature."

Her eyes widened as she settled into her work with the drawer. "Spell to produce tenfold harvest. 15th century, Elfish", "To mend a broken heart, 13th century, language unknown", "Summoning oracles, date unknown, Fae", "A curse against the light, date unknown, language unknown." That one drew a shudder from her. This, the black fairies wand, obviously it wasn't just good magic being guarded here. They needed to be careful.

"What was that one, love?" Hook asked and she quickly shook her head, moving it aside and getting back to work.

"Nothing," she answered.

The air went still in the room as she turned back to the drawer, wishing for some kind of system to make it all go faster. If only she could-

"May I ask you something?" Hook growled from above her.

She fought back the urge to sigh irritated because this only felt like the millionth time that he'd "asked her something". It had already been a long day and she was beginning to wish that she'd brought Will instead of Hook. The company would have been better.

"Never hurts to ask," she commented idly, continuing to look though the files in her drawer. "Though be prepared for me to remind you, again, that I'm just as in the dark about all this as you. What you know I know, remember-"

"No, it's…it's not about that," he quickly interrupted. "It's about you, love…and me."

She felt her blood run cold because she honestly wasn't sure what he could question her about the two of them and why it couldn't wait for a time when they were both less…busy.

"What…what about 'us'?" she questioned. She had an urge to find something heavy to throw at him, because when he talked about the two of them it made her uncomfortable, it made her want to leave the room. Working with him she could handle, sometimes, when days weren't as long as this, she even let herself acknowledge the fact that she could enjoy it. But the moment he started talking about them as if they were a team, a pair…she wanted to be just herself again. She wasn't ready to talk about whatever he wanted to talk about she was sure.

"You see…I'm wondering what I have to do to prove myself to you. To prove that I'm not the man you knew anymore," he muttered. At his words she risked a glance up at him and found that instead of going through his drawer, he was gazing down at her. Was this really a mystery to him? Was it really a conversation that they had to have now? "What more do I have to do to convince you I'm not the villain you once met."

"The villain that tried to kill me, you mean?" she countered.

"To start with…"

Yes. Apparently they were about to have the conversation that she was afraid they'd have to have. Wasn't the answer obvious though? All he needed to do was…

She couldn't think of anything. Not now at least. Apologize to Rumpelstiltskin. Feel guilt over taking Milah away, over taking Neal's mother from him and starting this mess. There was a time that she wanted those things from him. But to want them now just seemed wrong. Like it was too much too late. And yes, she could demand an apology for her shoulder and for trying to kill her but what good would it do? It wouldn't change the past, it wouldn't fix anything! There was a time that she believed that it would have. If the past was different, if he'd never come here, if he hadn't interrupted their happiness then everything would have been fine!

But it wasn't. It wouldn't have been fine, she knew that now. Rumpelstiltskin would still have done what he did, he'd still be gone, and she and Hook, they might actually have-

"I don't know," she answered quietly before digging back into her drawer. She wasn't ready to admit the what if, to say that they might have been friends one day. She just didn't think that would ever have been possible. Would it?

"You see, the truth is, love-"

"Don't call me-"

"Belle! My mistake, apologies," he countered quickly, shocking her with his look of sincerity. "The truth is that you don't seem the type to hold personal grudges against strangers."

"You're not a stranger."

"I am now. I'm not the man that shot you a year ago and I won't try to harm you now, I've changed." That word again. That word was a lie as far as she was concerned. It was a myth. People didn't changed.

"I once knew a man that told me just that. He never changed."

"I can understand your…hesitation to believe that after the Crocodile, but not every man in the world is like him."

"I know that!"

"Do you?"

Yes. She did. She knew that. Not every man in the world was the man that her ex-husband had been because if every man was like that there would be no world to live in. And she didn't believe that Hook had changed. He'd been a murderer then and he still had the potential to be a murderer now. The only thing that was different now was his lack of motivation. There was no reason for him to go back to being that murderer hell bent on revenge because she'd done his job for him and she woke up every morning with her stomach in knots over it. But she wouldn't let him know that. Not yet anyway.

"What I know is that you won't harm me," she conceded. "You've had plenty of opportunities since we started working together but no more motivation now that Rumple is gone from town, but that doesn't mean-"

"Then what is this grudge you hold against me if not for your own safety? Is it still for what happened centuries ago over Milah, a blood feud you weren't even alive to see?"

She opened her mouth but really had nothing to say to that because it sounded silly even to her. She wasn't about to regret that. Frankly she never had. In some strange sick way she'd always seen it as a blessing because if he hadn't done what he'd done then she wouldn't have had her Rumple. But it didn't matter now. She still didn't have her Rumple. She never had because he'd never belonged to anyone or anything but that dagger. And she wasn't sure she could defend that statement. At least not in that way. There was someone that she'd fight for over it now and for always. One person she still cared for. Milah hadn't just been a wife.

"It's for Neal," she answered.

"Baelfire?"

"For Emma," she clarified, suddenly realizing that it wasn't just Milah the pirate had taken. "He loved her, cared for her more than anything. He wouldn't tell just anyone but he told me."

"And you are angry at me because you think I stole her away from him, is that right?"

"I certainly don't think you helped things for them."

"In the five days that we were all together in the last year?" he questioned. Well, when he said it like that it did sound a bit absurd. "Belle, I stood aside."

She opened her mouth but closed it again quickly at that pronouncement. He'd 'stood aside'? What did that mean? "What?" she questioned.

"After we got home from Neverland I swore to Baelfire I wouldn't interfere as he pursued Emma. He was the boy's father, it was only right he be with her if she wanted to be with him, but then…everything changed so fast," he breathed shaking his head at the memories. "The curse and the enchanted forest, I got the memory potion and had to bring Emma back because the boy had gone missing again but…I would have stepped aside still. I could see their love just as you could. I'd already taken one family from Baelfire I wasn't about to do it again."

She gapped at the information that he'd just poured into her. "Neal never told me that," she whispered. Did that mean that it hadn't happened, or just that he hadn't told her? They never really got around to speaking about Hook in their time together. Just Neal's intention to be with Emma. Was that why? Was that why he was always so confident that he was going to be, because he and Hook had this conversation? Because he had believed him?

"It's true," Hook defended. "And after he was back, after the curse was lifted I would have let Baelfire claim his rightful place by her side again if that was her wish. It was only fair. But before I could…" his voice trailed off and he had a distant look in his eyes that she'd seen in her own before. She understood. Neal had died.

He'd left the room.

It was one spark of a memory but a true memory that she'd nearly buried because there had been so much going on. When Neal had first come back and everyone had been there with him in the room, he requested the opportunity to talk to Emma alone, she'd nearly forgotten. Hook hadn't fought then. He'd left as Neal asked, without a fight. Was that why? All this time had he really been acting honorably?

"Hook-"

"Killian Jones," he interrupted quickly.

"What?" she questioned, confused as ever.

"My real name is Killian Jones, Hook is a name I don't particularly mind because it suites me and the mysterious aura that captures my nature so very well," he smiled raising his hooked appendage as if it was some kind of sick joke while he made those puppy eyes at her that made her think that he was only trying to get her to see him as dashing. "But…I also tend to associate it with…darker times in my life. Times that…I hope now are passed?" Passed? Did he really expect that one conversation that they'd just had would clear everything up between them?

Between them?

Was there ever really anything between them besides Rumple and Neal? But Rumple was gone, he'd betrayed her and she'd never see him again. And Neal…if Hook was telling the truth then he'd done the honorable thing. Instead of taking Emma from Neal he'd stood aside to let her choose Neal, Henry's father. They'd been enemies for as long as she could remember? Hadn't they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is obviously another in the series of pushing forward Hook and Belle's relationship and I thank Fox24 for her help on it once more. Remember, I'm not aiming for them to be all hunky dory BFF's . I'm not even aiming for them to really be friends. I'm just aiming for the two of them to say "you aren't my favorite person in the world but I can overlook the bad blood between us for the sake of the good to come."
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	15. An Enemy of an Enemy is Something Else

Before she could further question what she thought of the pirate, or didn't think of the man, her head shot up and out of her drawer and off of…whoever he was now. "Did you hear that?" she questioned looking around the room.

"What?" he questioned.

"That noise…like a bang or a door closing."

Just then something outside of the room squeaked. "That I heard," he muttered following her gaze.

Her heart was racing. They'd been here all day and hadn't heard anything. They were alone! Weren't they? "Could it be a mouse?" she asked. But just then another bang close to the door made her gasp and jump up off the floor and away from the piles she'd created.

"That's no rodent," Hook answered, moving away from the cabinet and over to her. "Stay behind me. Someone's in the building!"

That was obvious but who? Emma? David? It was still too early for them. But they'd been all over the church they hadn't heard or seen-

No. No they hadn't. They'd only just gotten into the back and instead of checking it first for people they'd just assumed that it was empty. And they'd been quiet up until now, until their small heated argument over the past.

Something moved. To her right. Outside the window. Something had moved. She moved away from Hook, despite his warning, wondering when he'd backed her into the corner behind him, and glanced out. There were woods, all was still, expect for the small crowd of women in blue running from the convent into the tree line. Her jaw dropped. "Fairies!" she muttered, breathless and confused at the sight.

Suddenly the door to the little office slammed open, there was a flash of brilliant light and she was thrown away from Hook, back against the wall and left to hang there like a refrigerator magnet. Next to her the sound of clinking metal drew her attention to Killian's hook lying on the floor below his feet. "Killian!" she called but quickly found an invisible hand over her mouth, silencing her.

"Who are you?!" a voice from the door demanded in a low growl. The figure was tall, but cloaked in a brown robe. Human hands were raised in the air, one at her and the other trained on Hook, holding them against the wall channeling their magic…

Magic! The Fairies! The ones she saw running outside.

She scanned the figure again, this time taking in features and details she hadn't before. The hands were small, feminine. Black, clunky shoes were just barely visible from underneath the robe. And there at the woman's wrist…traces of a blue sleeve.

"I asked you a question!" the deep fabricated voice growled again. The little mobility that she'd gained back in her body suddenly disappeared from her again as another jolt of magic rolled through her body. It was shocking, but the invisible hand she'd once felt covering her mouth was gone.

"I know you," she breathed, wishing her lungs were working better. "You know me. Please, just look. I'm Belle…Belle Gold. I was-"

"You're the wife of the Dark One!" a voice, suddenly small high pitched, much different than the false one she'd heard echoed from inside the robe. She hated that it was the only way this person knew her but at the moment explaining what had happened over the last few weeks probably wasn't going to be very relevant at the moment.

"I'm the one that called Mother Superior and the rest of the fairies away to create the cure," she stated.

Suddenly tension left the woman's arms and before she knew what happened magic that had been holding her body against the wall disappeared and she dropped to the ground in a heap like a rag doll. Next to her, Hook acted faster than she did, he replaced his Hook and stepped between her and the fairy in front of her, a protective gesture she wasn't sure she knew what to think of, but all the same knew it was in vain.

"No!" she shouted quickly, getting to her feet and holding the pirate back. "It's okay, it's alright. She's a fairy."

Hooks expression softened and he looked at the cloaked figure skeptically for a moment, not believing her words until the woman reached up, pulled her hood down and stared amazed back at the two of them. The woman looked frightened as she looked them over. She didn't know if she could blame her. She hadn't expected there to be anyone up here, let alone fairies. She thought they were all stuck inside the hat. And yet, if she'd really seen what she thought she did outside, it appeared that at least a small number of them were still here! If what Hook said was true then how was any of this possible?

"Mother Superior…our sisters…you know where they are? Do you know what happened to us?" the woman begged.

"We…we do," she answered stepping forward around Hook. "You don't?"

The woman shook her head. "No. Blue sent a small number of us back here after we decided to change the spell, for ingredients to pull the magic from the necklace. While we were up here fetching supplies we felt…evil. All of us. It's dampened our magic, made us weak. The curse ended not long after but when Blue and the others didn't come back we figured it was bad. It must have been…it must still be because we can still feel it," she explained placing a hand over her chest. "There's a void inside of us, pulling us down, robbing us of our very selves! We didn't know what was doing it but we've been hiding up here, hoping someone would save us from whatever has invaded the town."

"You've been here?" Hook questioned. "Ever since then you've been in this convent?"

"Hiding," she responded. "When something evil like that comes to town the fairies are always the first to be targeted, hunted down. Normally we'd fight but without Blue, without all our sisters, and this...this emptiness...we don't stand a chance right now. We had to hide. But we couldn't just leave this place and abandon the magic here! It's our sacred duty to protect it, from intruders…like you!"

"No," she corrected quickly. "No, we're not intruders we're here to help. We've been here all morning, in fact, how…how have we not seen you before then."

The woman bit her lip as her shoulders slouched in disappointment. "We've been hiding in the rectory, a small abandon cabin just beyond the woods. It was my job to be guarding the magic today but…I fell asleep. I only just heard you and got the sisters together to pool the little magic that we have left to try and capture you. Oh, don't tell them that you've been here all day! Please, they don't think much of me as it is already! Please don't tell them what really happened."

"We won't," she assured her. "We won't, we just…we need your help." Something the woman had said, something about how she felt now had reminded her of something. She could feel it. The magic had been drained from them and she could feel that even though they had no idea why. There was a connection there, probably not unlike her link to Rumpelstiltskin. That was exactly what they needed to free their sisters. She glanced at Hook, questioning whether or not he would tell them but she could already see him shrinking from the details as guilt and sadness drifted over his face, as it so often did when this subject came up.

This wasn't his fault. He'd been made to do what he had without a choice. It was her husband, his lies and deception that had gotten them into this mess. If anyone was truly guilty it was her for not seeing it sooner.

"Your sisters are trapped," she explained for him. "Within a magical relic created by someone they call the Sorcerer, do you know anything about him?"

"They're within the Sorcerer's Hat?" a voice from behind the woman questioned. There, peering around the corner was another stern faced woman dressed in blue.

"Celia, you are supposed to be hiding with the others!" the woman responded. "We agreed after we used the little magic we have you would take them to-"

"I got the girls out and elected to stay behind. When you died, Astrid, someone had to stay behind to protect what you couldn't. We'll discuss your falling asleep on the job later." The woman, Astrid, hung her head at the proclamation. They'd sent her in here believing that she would die. And they admitted that to her?! How terrible. They truly thought that little of her? No wonder she had begged them not to tell them about falling asleep. "The Sorcerer's Hat?" Celia questioned, stepping into the room and rounding on her and Hook. "They're trapped in the hat?"

"Yes," she answered, looking from her to Astrid. She wanted to say something but wasn't sure what at the moment. Besides, this was the first time in weeks that someone appeared to have knowledge of what she didn't! What was more important? One or many? "Do you know about it?"

"I do," she answered crossing her arms over her chest. "It's been lost for years, protected by the Sorcerer's Apprentice although who knows where it would have ended up after the last curse."

"Please," she begged. How and where it had ended up here was irrelevant now, a mystery to be solved later, now they needed to know something a bit more precious. "Do you know how to pull something from the hat? The power, your sisters?!"

Celia opened her mouth then looked between her and Astrid before she let out a disappointed sigh and shook her head. "If they truly are in the hat…then there is nothing to be done."

"But what about our magic?" Astrid squeaked.

"As long as the hat has so many of us, and Mother Superior, it'll continue to be slowly siphoned away until we are left completely…human," she concluded with despair. "The only thing we can do now is use the little magic we have left to protect this place before it disappears entirely. So…if you'll excuse us, Astrid we need to get back to the others."

"So you're just giving up that quickly?!" Hook shouted after her.

"There is nothing that can be done," Celia insisted. "There is nothing that can free anything from that hat!"

"Then maybe you need to listen to the one person in this room that believes something can be done!" he replied before glancing at her, a silent indication that she was supposed to take over now. His faith that she could solve this was admirable…but also terrifying. She hoped that she could do this.

"We're going to try and use a loophole," she explained. "We're not going to try and pull them from the hat. We're going to try and summon the fairies, bring them to us. Now that I know you are alive, that you're linked together…it might work."

"Fairies can't be summoned that way," Celia responded with a cool voice. "They're different than other magical creatures and can't be summoned by a common place spell or dagger."

"There must be some way," she pushed. "Through your connection they are offering a hand and we have to help pull them back through while we still can, before it's too late. We can do it we just need the right way. It can be anything a spell, incantation, an object-"

"A ritual?" Astrid piqued.

"Astrid!" Celia chastised.

"A ritual?" she questioned looking between the two of them. "A ritual would work, what ritual?" Astrid had already looked away, kowtowing to the other woman but she knew that there was something. Something specific they were both thinking of that they obviously didn't want in her hands. "Please, anything might help and I promise it'll be safe with us."

"The wife of the Dark One-"

"He's gone!" she insisted carefully her blood suddenly boiling just beneath her skin because she didn't want to have to prove herself in this way, not with them. Hadn't she already done that with the Spell of Shattered Sight?

"What are you talking about? The Dark One can't be destroyed!" Celia argued.

"But he can be rendered harmless," Hook answered for her over her shoulder. That was honorable. She'd answered the question that was too painful for him to answer and in returned he answered the one she couldn't bring herself to confess to just yet. It was kind. "He's beyond the town limits, a place that magic can't affect him. He's human. It wasn't easy but…she did it...for us. To protect all of us...including you and your magic!"

She glanced over her shoulder at Hook, doing her best to keep the tears out of her eyes. She didn't like him, she didn't want to like him or she wasn't supposed to like him…suddenly she just couldn't remember why.

"Well," Celia sighed, "that changes things." The woman strode over to the desk that she'd searched earlier and located a book that she'd already set aside. It had been sitting in the back of the file cabinet and she hadn't been able to read the language it was in. She'd put it in a pile of things she wanted to take with her because she refused to just forget about it until she knew that whatever was in it was safe to be forgotten about. Apparently she'd been onto something. She watched as Celia paged through the book, marked a place with her finger and then went on. And on. And on. She had to have at least seventy-five pages selected by the time she stopped, marked them with tiny slips of paper and hoisted the book delicately into her hands. "Inside these pages is rumored to be _Leitu Ch'mange"_ she whispered. "We call it The Ritual to Call Forth Protectors."

"That's quite a mouthful," Hook commented as she took it.

"Rough translation?" she assumed.

"Something like that," she responded carefully handing it over to her. She took care as she held the book in her hands, wishing she had gloves of some kind on so she didn't damage it, but as she looked it over she felt a sinking feeling in her stomach.

"I, uh, I don't know this language."

"Neither do we," Celia answered. "That's one of the oldest pieces of magic we have, possibly used by the original bringers of the magicks to our realm. It's said to be the ritual that gave birth to protectors of both light and dark magic. In theory, that paper you are holding is what made us fairies. If it's not strong enough to work I don't know what will, but it's old…that language has been lost to us for millennia I don't even know if Mother Superior could read it."

"Then how do you know what it is?" Killian asked skeptically.

"I don't...not for sure. I only know the rumors and what I've been told."

"I'll figure it out," she vowed looking back up at her. She looked surprised by the declaration, but she meant it. If this was what they needed, she'd figure it out.

"Belle, are you sure?" Hook questioned stepping up behind her and looking at the book desperately. He wanted this to work. He wanted to undo what he'd done, what her husband had made him do. She could see it in his eyes every time they'd sat down to figure it all out! She just hadn't let herself really believe it until now. They were on the same side again and now, she supposed, there was no need to ever be on opposite sides again.

"We'll figure it out," she repeated. "No matter what it takes, we'll figure it out. We promise, Killian and I will bring your sisters back. You can trust us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Names, names, names. Names play such an important role in this chapter you have no idea. First of all, old news I know, but let me remind you. Yes, Belle and Grumpy had a talk about Astrid in ME, but I was very careful in that discussion to only call Astrid by the name Nova, which means that Belle has no idea who Nova is here. Second, anyone catch what Belle calls herself in the heat of the moment? Belle Gold. Tat's done on purpose to show that when she's thinking of it and determined to put distance between herself and Rumple she is Belle but when she's not thinking about, when she's not thinking about it, not trying to fend him off, she still considers herself his wife, Belle Gold. Third, obviously Belle has now switched from Hook to Killian and it won't be seamless but we'll see what we can do, and finally did anyone catch the little caveat that I built into this summoning they are going to attempt? The problem with it? I think I'll keep this one to myself until the time is right!
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	16. The New Normal

This was actually a perfect end to a difficult day.

All she'd been doing since they returned from the convent was was trying to find that language. She didn't know it, but she knew herself. Languages were always a specialty, if she could just find something on it, a book, instructions for speaking it, reading it, anything, she knew that she could translate it. But she had yet to find anything that matched the characters. She'd tried looking over the book, the pages that Celia had pointed out to her, on her own to see if there was any luck she could figure it out on her own, but all she'd found was more disappointment. While she couldn't translate it beyond identifying a word she assumed was "the", in paging through the section Celia had given her she noticed the odd spacing. There were sections in this book. Long bodies of paragraphs that went on for pages, others that were only a few sentences before another space and a title would appear, usually starting with that word "the". Celia had told her the ritual was rumored to be somewhere in these pages and she was right. There were dozens of spells or rituals or...whatever all this was here. It was becoming more and more clear to her every day. Not only did she need to translate this, she needed to find the right section to translate.

Which she would only be able to do if she knew the language she was looking for!

She hadn't wanted to, but after a couple of days with no luck of hunting down the language in the book she'd finally given in and gone to Regina. Killian and Emma went with her and she appreciated the support, but in the end she supposed it hadn't been necessary, the support or the visit. Regina was pleasant. Which surprised her because she'd taken some precautions with the former Evil Queen that she'd feared she'd find insulting. After the fairies had only given her the book she wasn't about to hand it over to Regina or explain what it was until she knew for sure what she had. So she only copied a single page of the book and refused to tell her how or where she'd got it. Regina was irritated, clearly, they were obviously still nowhere near the idea of becoming friends, but their encounter was also a far cry from what had happened at the diner weeks ago. Henry was right. No matter what issues Regina seemed to be experiencing she did appear to be working through them. It was a shame really, horribly ironic. Henry had told her once that her so called Happy Ending with Rumpelstiltskin had inspired her…the reality was that all this time it was Rumple who should have been taking a page out of Regina's book.

But in the end the request was useless. Regina didn't know that language. And when she pressed her about a ritual she'd heard about "from one of her books" that mentioned calling forth protectors of light and dark magic, the story was really no better. Regina had heard of it but didn't know much about the ritual itself. "My first guess would have been to go directly to the source, the fairies," she lamented, "the second would have been to go to you..." In the end the best she could do was give her a short list, five names, of other magic users that might be able to help. She'd assisted her and Killian to the first two, stating they'd need a little magical protection and influence to get anything out of them, and she was right. They weren't people that either of them were prepared to meet with on their own. And in the end if they did know something, which none of them claimed, they didn't share it. She and Killian spent the rest of the afternoon with the other three only to get the same response. They didn't know the language or what the ritual involved. By the time Killian left her at the library, promising he'd be back in the morning to start fresh, she was beginning to think that it was useless.

Will cheered her up though, as he always did, by appearing almost out of nowhere with that burlap bag over his shoulder that told her they were going to dinner. She still wasn't quite sure what she wanted to call these little excursions, the one in her library, the trip to the lake, the beach, and tonight to the boardwalk, but if this was "dating" she was almost not sorry to say that she enjoyed it. Dinner, no matter how simple, was always delicious and it was nice not having to cook. And Will's company, it seemed to be the only thing that could coax a smile and even on the rare occasion a laugh out of her.

They made it through dinner tonight without mentioning either of their torrid love affairs, a rare occurrence, and instead focused on the present. For him that meant the Merry Men and she enjoyed listening to the stories that he brought back to her, including the one about catching and roasting the Swan they were eating. She vowed that one day she would take him out to dinner, no roasting or cooking involved for either of them. He was quick to state that it wasn't as if he didn't have money. "In fac' I 'ave lots of money! And one of the nicer apartments in Storybrooke from when I was a cursed thief! I made a decen' income tha' way, thank you very much!" But she knew he wasn't as insulted as he pretended to be. He didn't say it but she knew that he didn't want to use that money or the apartment. A man like Will…he was good. He wanted to be who he was, not take free handouts or use something that could potentially harm others. That was why she suspected he was enjoying living in the forest so much. He was getting back to his roots, or maybe just planting new ones. He was building a life for himself that wasn't bought with stolen money. And it was good. For him and for the men he and Little John were leading.

For her, present events were not nearly as fun. He already knew about the hat. And the trip to the convent and what happened with the fairies. He even knew that she was doing her best to start fresh with Hook, Killian as she was coming to know him. So tonight her present consisted of updating him with what they'd found today, which was nothing. And by the end of the night, when he walked her back to her car he'd pointed out something marvelous again.

"Why no' jus' check the interne' again? Use those troll and elf friends you me'?"

"Because they're not actually trolls and elves," she smiled shaking her head. "They're only people pretending."

"Don' mean they can' 'elp."

"Help to decipher an ancient magical language the fairies can't even read?"

"Who says it's an 'ancien' magical language 'ere? I mean, that book tha' you keep with you at the counter, the one from our world, i' may be Frankion in our world bu' 'ere it's-"

"French," she breathed, realizing what he was trying to tell her. "We share common languages between the realms."

He nodded. "If it's gibberish to you, find an expert 'ere on gibberish." A smile slowly stretched over her face as the doors around her suddenly felt wide open once more and the possibilities became endless again. She couldn't wait to tell Killian. She couldn't wait to see if it was a language here, if someone outside the boarders of Storybrooke could read it. She couldn't wait to-

She felt her heart stop as she realized she'd been about to reach up and hug Will and every bit of excitement she'd just felt fled from her body at the thought. No. No, she couldn't do that. Suddenly aware of the space between them she took a step away and looked around her to the car. Her pulse was hammering again, her cheeks hot as she stepped forward, her gait was awkward and she tried to find something to say to get the thought out of her head and convince him that she'd never had it before he became suspicious. Instead all that came out was "I think I need to go home now."

But before she could get in the car she felt his hand wrap around her arm and urge her back to face him looking nervous and tense, an expression he just wasn't good at hiding and looked awkward on her friend because he was never nervous or tense. "I don' wan' you to take offense," he rattled off quickly, "and if you don' wan' to I wan' you to say no, drive away, and that'll be i', no questions asked. Bu' in abou' three seconds, I'm going to kiss you good-night. And neither of us are going to say anything abou' i', you're jus' going to ge' in your car and drive home, and if nothing 'appens from 'ere on out, at leas' we gave i' a go and there's no 'arm done, so…"

She was lost in his words, the endless confusing nervous prattle he'd been going on and on about the instructions that he'd given her to either say nothing, get in the car and go home now, or-

Her time must have passed, because before she could consider the alternative she felt hands at her waist, pulling her toward him and his mouth against her own as she held her breath, thinking about a kiss, the act of kissing, as she never had before. He kissed her. He was kissing her. He had kissed her. And after a moment of breathlessness between them, a silent stare she couldn't translate, and a command to drive safe, he was gone.

Driving home, locking the house up, going to bed...it was all a blur to her that evening. She wasn't even sure if she slept that night! The shock of what had happened stunned her and even hours later, staring up at the ceiling she found herself reaching up to touch her lips with shaking fingers. It was real. It had happened but that wasn't what had shocked her.

She didn't dislike it.

She hadn't hated it. It wasn't horrible. In fact, if it wasn't for her hesitation she might actually admit that it was kind of nice.

She didn't dislike it, but part of her felt like she should. Part of her felt like she should be sickened by the thought of kissing another man, looking forward to seeing him in the mornings, to his cheerful greeting and smile when he stepped inside of her shop, the way he made her laugh and feel comfortable…but she didn't feel disturbed in the slightest. She shouldn't be surprised. She supposed she'd always known that this was where whatever it was they had together would go in the end but she really just hadn't considered it before, or that it would happen only six weeks later! Rumpelstiltskin was supposed to be her first and last true kiss and she was sure that out there somewhere in the woods Will was also thinking that Anastasia was supposed to be his first and last but it just wasn't meant to be now. It wasn't possible!

She shouldn't have liked what was happening between them. But part of her did. And maybe that was her punishment. When she'd gotten home that night things felt different than when she'd left. She felt the walls of her home staring at her, telling her she was a treasonous traitor, but in her mind…her mind told her something completely different.

It was new. It would take some getting used to. Her mind told her that her actions, surely, were nothing compared to the dishonesty and the betrayal her ex-husband had once bestowed upon her. She'd lived with it. She'd gotten used to it. Every night she'd pushed the thought far away from her and went to sleep in her empty bed.

Empty. Like the house.

Maybe she should get a dog. Or a cat. Or a fish might even do. All she wanted was someone, something to talk to about all of this! About Will and her! All she wanted was to talk to someone who knew her better than she knew herself to explain all of this, all of what she was feeling and experiencing to her. The only problem was that the only person that knew her better than she knew herself was nowhere in Storybrooke.

Not for the first time the deadly thought came to mind. She could call him. In all of his things, the bag he'd left behind, the car, the money…she'd never once found his cell phone. She could only assume that meant that he'd had it on him when he left. She could call him, talk to him, but…

No. That wasn't an option. Not anymore.

She needed this. A clean break. She needed what these last few weeks away from him had provided. A chance at a normal life! Storybrooke deserved that chance. For once, things were fine. There were no monsters, no emergencies, no tragedies. For once there were no surprises, life was peaceful and predictable. She got up in the morning, she went to work, she had lunch, she worked some more, had dinner with Will and got to bed every night, on time with no hassles. This kind of life was a blessing. It was something worth discovering, worth exploring.

And Rumpelstiltskin, whether he knew it or not, whether he'd figured it out or not, he needed chance too. A chance to discover…something. Anything. To figure out what he wanted in a world where magic didn't exist and he deserved to get it.

So she didn't call. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and the next thing she knew it was morning and Will was waiting for her outside the shop, coffee and tea in hand. It was as if nothing had happened. Will offered his typical "morning" and she smiled up at him with a blush and went right to work unlocking the door so that when Killian arrived and they needed to discuss magic and the ritual and everything associated with that hat and everything in her day that wouldn't be normal they could. For a few hours she would leave her new comfortable normal life behind her here on the doorstep and before she did…

She didn't know why or what had come over her. All she knew was that she felt as though it was important before she got into the shop to do something. And so when she pushed open the door she turned back, took her tea from Will, stood on tip-toe to kiss him quickly again and moved inside.

Before he followed her inside she could have sworn she heard him whisper in stunned shock "Well I guess tha' wen' well then."

Well. That was probably the best way to put it.

She didn't dislike it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay...it's happened...but let me draw your attention to something that has been building throughout this fiction so far and even in the previous fictions. Have you ever taken notice of the way that she thinks about things around Will, or even how she thinks about Will. She likes him, she thinks he's nice, and safe, and predictable, and though she hasn't thought it yet all those lead to one thing-boring. It's is a nice change pace for her, but is it a change that will last forever? Is it a change that can really compare to Rumple who made her feel excited, and thrilled, and happy, and sexy, and furious, and brave, and just about everything besides boring? Of course not. Here's the thing with the two relationships: when Phantom of the Opera came to the big screen the director described Christine's two relationships. She said that Roaul was a very sweet sixteen, never been kissed, kind of relationship while the relationship with the Phantom was deep and passionate and explainable. That describes these two perfectly. Rumple is her true love, she loves him in a way she can never love anyone else, in a way that she can never be angry with anyone else for that matter! But Will...it's sweet. I mean for goodness sake they are blushing like a couple of middle school kids out on their first date! It's cute. But it doesn't go much deeper than that and eventually, when she knows Rumple has returned, that will be it's downfall!
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	17. Everyone is Searching for Something

Today was going to be a good day. She could just feel it. Yesterday had brought her one of the best days of research she'd had yet and all because of Will. His suggestion to look online for people to help translate the ritual that the fairies had given her had propelled her forward and once again she'd taken to the message boards, scanning small sections, only a line or two, from a page of the book to see if anyone in this world recognized it. No one had...but the responses had been amazing! "My professor teaches linguistics, I'll show it to him and see if he recognizes it." "My husband thinks it looks like Samaric, try Samarian." "I have a friend that studies ancient dead languages, I'll send you his information and you can have him take a look at it." No, no one was able to read it, but they all seemed to have some guess or contact that would make it easier for her and in the end she knew that something was better than nothing.

She'd taken every lead they gave her. She sent e-mails to all of the people that had been referred to her, only a couple lines of it at first because there was no use putting the entire thing out there when she didn't know what it said or much about these people. If it started talking about magic and fairies…she just hoped that they would chalk it up to a myth of that culture. And she was able to do more too. Back in the book shelves she found the books on languages, from this world, not theirs, and began to rifle through all the ones that they suggested because in the end she could not scan and send out seventy pages for translation! Not considering the material. She had to at least try to decipher the language so that she could figure out which of these spells or rituals or...whatever it all was, was what she needed! If she could find the language and get that part done and find someone on line to help her with the more difficult part then they'd just come closer to answering the puzzle...for good!

No. It wasn't Samarian. It wasn't Ruinic or Gothic or Hebrew. It predated the Phoenician alphabet. But…there! Her mouth had dropped when she spied it, the first characters that lined up perfectly in accordance with the book. "Himself". A common word but she didn't exactly expect to find much more than that! Carefully she flipped the book over to find the language she'd stumbled upon. Himyaritic. Rare. It was a dead language here. Semetic. Spoken close to the Himalayas. And looking through the books in her library and the few chapters she found that mentioned it she hoped that it wasn't that dead and someone out there spoke it or read it because if not then finding the resources to translate this herself was going to take some time.

But then again she didn't need to translate all of it. Celia had picked out sixty-eight pages for the ritual total, maybe, if she tried, she could just identify some of the markers, headers that she found. Those were mostly nouns and easy enough to identify. By the afternoon her sixty-eight pages were a dozen. By dinner a half a dozen. And by the time she knew she needed to close up there were two passages in particular that she felt were going to be the most useful. Looking at her notes she was beginning to sort everything out. There were a lot of rituals in this book. A lot of long, long rituals that would take days, some of them weeks, if her translations were correct. But what she'd found, the two sections that stood out the most to her, they were part of a ritual. Her translation wasn't good but she'd managed to identify "Guardians", "magic", and "Calling". It certainly sounded like what Celia had told her to look for. These two sections...either of them could have been the critical part of the ritual that she needed. After all she wasn't trying to create new guardians, she was trying to summon the old ones. These would help her do that.

But she couldn't do much more from here. For these passages she'd need more help. But hopefully help was on the way. And in the mean time…she could still try. It wasn't success, but she felt like they were close. It was finally moving forward again and she just couldn't wait to tell Killian. He'd been haunted by this for far too long. He snuck up on her as she unlocked the door that morning and she greeted him cheerfully noting Emma was with him, like usual. She rarely attended their meetings but she'd learned that she was never far. She was getting used to the pair of them. It was different and heartbreaking to know that Neal couldn't be the one by her side but…Hook loved her. He treated her well and they seemed to make each other happy. Neal would have wanted that. If it couldn't have been him then he'd have wanted his family happy. Her, Henry, and of course Emma. And Rumple…she'd gotten almost everything right.

Emma wandered off as she finally got the door unlocked and she waved Hook inside. "Come on in, I have some great news," she explained.

"Great news?" he questioned taking it for her and hanging it up, dare she say, like a gentleman instead of a pirate. If she couldn't tame her beast…at least Emma seemed to have tamed him. "Just how great is this news of yours?"

"We've had a break through," she muttered walking behind her desk and opening her books to where they'd been last night. Two passages. That was all she needed to translate. If no one came to her aid...she could figure this out eventually. Though she'd rather have the help.

"A break through? You've done it? You've translated the fairy's spells?"

"Not exactly," she hesitated. She hadn't known that he'd think it was news that great and his expression made it clear that anything she said now would only disappoint him. He was tired. And she was too. "But we are one step closer," she reasoned as he shuffled away from her to pull up the board they used to work on it all. "I found the language here that this is written in and I was able to narrow our options down to two sections of the ritual that Celia told us about that might be precisely what we're looking for. I've sent inquiries out all over the world, people who study languages professionally and for fun. And I'm studying how to translate the sections myself, languages have always been a specialty of mine. Between us all…we're not far."

"But we're not there yet…" she heard him mumble.

No. That was true. They weren't there yet, but who knew maybe by tonight or even tomorrow morning-

A loud crash from the other side of the room made her jump and look up from her books to find Hook-Killian huffing and puffing. The board he'd only just set up lay on the floor, papers and post-its that had managed to break away strewn on the floor around him. Layered in leather as he was, even she could see the tension in his neck and shoulders. Clearly he didn't see her news as she did. And while some things had changed, while she acknowledged that he was certainly trying to be a good man now that did good things…maybe somethings hadn't changed entirely. Maybe they never would.

She cleared her throat as he remained focused on the papers at his feet and tried to begin a new conversation, one that would take his mind off of the situation at hand. It had worked for Rumpelstiltskin...or so she'd always thought. "Well I see you still have your temper," she pointed out.

"Six weeks and nothing!" he yelled. "They're still trapped inside that bloody hat!" So it appeared that a change of conversation wouldn't work for him as it had her ex-husband. But then again maybe it never had. What did she really know about him? About them?

"Look we just have to keep at it, okay?" she encouraged once more. They were close. Now was not the time to lose their heads. Besides, she'd hardly call everything that they'd learned over the last six weeks nothing. It had brought them here. Here, she was hopeful, was the beginning of the end. "But we will find a spell to release the fairies," she reminded him as he fidgeted and set the board back up where it belonged. "I mean these translations are…difficult, but I've reached out to some of the finest minds in the world and…one of them will get back to us. I know it!"

Killian only gave another irritated sigh and pointed at the computer, avoiding her eyes. "If we're reduced to using those magic boxes then I'd say hope is in short supply."

She tried not to get irritated with him again over this. She tried to remember that only a month ago she probably would have said the same thing! But things were different now. She had faith that this would work. All she wished now was that Killian would too. "They, uh, they call it the internet…and it can help us!" she pointed out once more giving it a little pat as she finally turned to it. It already had helped them! And she really should have checked to see if anyone had sent her an e-mail to begin with, before Killian had lost his temper.

Nothing.

Hardly something he needed to hear at the moment.

With a sigh she located the cart of books that she needed to stack before Rapunzel, or Will for that matter, took over for her that afternoon. It was better than doing nothing. "And…once we get the fairies out of the hat they can help us release everyone else from the hat, including that poor old man that you put in there!" she explained for what felt like the hundredth time in the last few weeks to him. Even she could hear the irritation in her voice as she took up the cart, checked the numbers, and pushed it toward the shelves. She couldn't help it. Though she liked him far more today than she had months ago, sometimes, when he got into these foul moods, he just irritated her. She needed a break. From this. From magic and Hook and enemies that were friends and husbands that were enemies and…all this. She just needed to shelf her books.

"All because I let myself be tricked by the crocodile," he corrected as she moved passed him. The knot that she felt that she carried around in her stomach, the one that had been there ever since she'd made him go, it tightened to the point of pain and suddenly she couldn't leave that room fast enough. "How could I have been so weak?"

She was sure that she wasn't supposed to hear that comment. But she had. And while it certainly didn't knock her off her feet it certainly made her stop in her tracks. Weakness. Is that what he considered it? Is that what she considered herself for allowing it all to happen? For allowing herself to be "tricked" as he had? Maybe it was. That was what the Spell of Shattered Sight had told her after all. Her feelings for him made her weak and blind. The only problem was that while she hated what had happened, she couldn't always bring herself to regret it. Not entirely anyway. "Well…we both were," she admitted sadly glancing back at him. His expression softened into that look of pity that she hated so much and she turned away quickly before she could start to cry in front of him.

"Rumpelstiltskin got the best of both of us," she lamented swallowing down her tears. "And you're right! You should have been stronger but you weren't and…well…neither was I."

She hadn't meant for half of that to come out. But at least Killian didn't look quite as angry as he had before. Maybe a change of topic was all he needed. She just wished it hadn't been this one. "I…I should have seen through him," she admitted shaking her head because she knew the truth. This wasn't Killian's fault at all.

It was hers.

She had no more words. Tears she had plenty of but not words. And she wouldn't give Hook tears. Acquaintances or co-workers or even no-longer-enemies…she wasn't ready to let him see her like that. Not yet. The fact that she'd let Will see it…sometimes she considered that a sign of her weakness. So she turned away from him and grabbed a few books off of her cart to get back to work. This was why she was so determined to keep busy. She never knew what would sneak up on her if she didn't.

"You were blinded by love," Killian muttered gently beside her. If she didn't feel about him the way that she did, she would have said that it was almost reassuring. "What was my excuse?"

"Probably the same," she reasoned, "just for someone else." He'd done it for Emma, no matter what his intentions were. But still, he had more of an excuse than she did as far as she was concerned. He couldn't have been stronger if he'd wanted to, not when the Dark One had held his heart hostage. But her…she had seen. The Spell of Shattered Sight had shown her that she'd seen it. She'd chosen now too. She should have been stronger. But he'd held her heart in a completely different way then.

Killian reached over and grabbed a few books off her cart and held them out to her. "Well, he was right about one thing. Love is a weapon, as dangerous and persuasive as magic."

"Yeah…" She felt her eyes flood with tears as she sneered at the suggestion. Had he really said something like that? Of course he had. It sounded just like him. After all he'd learned and experienced in his life that was what the world had taught him. To fear love. She knew that. She'd only hoped, that maybe, their love…

He would never have allowed it to change him; to be a blessing instead of a curse. It wasn't in the nature of a beast.

"Yeah, he had both of our hearts," she whispered sadly. And he'd turned her own blessing into a curse. He'd turned her into a weapon and used her against herself. And now, she was still sore from it all.

"Hey," Killian snapped gently, a rebuking tone that Will used with her. The one he used whenever she got trapped in her own foul moods. "As big a bastard as he was…he did love you."

Her eyes hurt. She was tired of crying, tired of going over all this in her head. She wanted so badly to believe him. Part of her did. There were too many mornings in bed, too many smiles and kisses behind closed doors, too many kind deeds he'd done for her to believe that she hadn't held some part of his heart. But that wasn't the problem. The problem was that while she'd given him her whole heart in its entirety he hadn't given her his. He loved her. Just not enough. Not more than his power. And now it just didn't matter and never would again.

"And uh…now he's gone from our lives…forever," she commented, her chest rattling as she struggled to conceal her tears. She shook her head at the terrible thought of him out there in the world somewhere. Cold. Powerless. Scared. She didn't know that it was like that. She hoped it wasn't like that. All she really wanted for him, no matter how horrible the deception had been, was his happiness. She hoped that above all, he found meaning in something besides magic. "I…" she took a deep breath and got back to her work, trying to keep busy once more. Busy was safe. "I just uh…I just hope he's found whatever it is he's looking for…" she choked out.

Killian reached out and lay a hand on her shoulder, but didn't say anything. It was all that he really could do. It was all that anyone really could do to help her. Besides-

There was a sound that came from the computer that drew both of their attention in its direction. "What does that mean?" Killian asked beside her.

It meant that help had finally arrived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ::Waits in silent anticipation for the judgement to arrive:: If I've done my job right then this scene should be a little less out of place than it felt on the show. I hope that with enough build up adn evolution and of course the accompaniment of thoughts and emotions that this seems a little less like a slap in the face than it did when we first saw it long ago on a dark and scary night...or something like that. So...what do you think? Now that we are officially onto 4x12 and have firmly placed the 6 weeks behind us...how did I do with though six weeks? I hope alright...I'll wait right here for your answer...go ahead...answer...I'll be right here, waiting...all night...
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	18. Help is on the Way

Help had not actually arrived with the latest e-mail as she'd hoped. It was a kind of help, but not the kind that she knew she and Killian had been waiting weeks for. It wasn't a break through, just another follow up e-mail from another professor she'd written to. She'd sent so many requests that they were all beginning to blur together. She couldn't recall who had recommended him or even remember sending a message to this one, but he certainly sounded like what she'd been looking for. This one was a professor from Oxford that had been studying ancient and dead languages for fifty years, he'd recently been forced into retirement was looking for something to do, and he believed that he could help her with her problem. So, just like with the others she'd sent him an e-mail, the copy of the two lines that she'd been sending everyone else just to see if they really were able to translate it as they believed. Many couldn't, a few hadn't even bothered to write her back and tell her they couldn't help, but this man…her heart leapt when he'd returned the translation barely an hour later and requested the rest of it.

He'd acted faster than any of the others but she was determined not to get herself excited. Just because it was faster didn't mean that he could translate the entire thing quickly or that he had the time to sit down and do it right now. Retirement or not, he was an Oxford professor, surely there were much greater things he had to do than translate an ancient text that he wouldn't understand! For that matter there had to be something that he wanted to do in retirement besides work!

And yet, as she, Killian, and Rapunzel sat together in the library that afternoon eating sandwiches from Granny's she heard the computer make its noise once more. She excused herself to check on it, because though Hook had his doubts she could see his anxiety and anticipation. Doubt meant that there was hope buried there somewhere. Better an answer now than later. So she sat down, expecting to find an update or a question or even another e-mail from a different expert but...

Her jaw dropped as she read the contents of the e-mail.

There it was. Plain as day, easy to read, in a language she actually spoke, on the computer. And as she read it over she knew that somehow she'd managed to do it, to pull the correct portions of the ritual from the long passages and find exactly what they needed! The first passage, it was nothing, a few key words from something unimportant had tricked her but the second...it was a ritual to call forth protectors from the farthest reaches of the realms! That was the one they needed. Exactly what they needed. It mentioned the elements of magic, a channeling source, a summoning…this was it! They had it! Right here, they finally had it! But that didn't stop her from quickly typing out a reply and asking the professor once more if he was sure, absolutely positive on the translation that he'd given. There were no words involved in the ritual, just silent actions to be drenched in magic and deep meditative thoughts.

It felt like she'd barely hit the send button and had time to print the professors translation out that she had a reply message. "Mrs. Gold, I cannot be sure where you found such an ancient text or how it has been preserved so well. I do not understand why these small passages about a ritual involving so called 'magical protectors' could possibly be so important. But I am good at my job and certain that what you are looking at is the correct translation of the passage you provided. Use it well. Fondest Regards, Nicholas Rush".

Mrs. Gold…

It didn't matter, she was too excited to write back and tell him he had the wrong title, or for that matter accidentally insult his intelligence again when he'd just solved all her problems for her in less than a day. What he called her wouldn't matter in the end all that mattered was this piece of paper in her hands…and the conscious of the man sitting in the room across from her.

"We have it!" she cried, running into the reading room the paper clutched in her hand. "We have it! The translation, someone's done it!"

"You're joking," the pirate drawled with disbelief.

She shook her head, "No. No, I'm not, look! It's real!" He was out of his seat in a shot looking over the white sheet. He held his breath and his brow furrowed as his eyes skimmed over the passage.

"It still looks like gibberish to me, do you understand all this?"

"I do," she confirmed. "But more importantly so will Regina! We have to see her right away, Emma too."

"She's there now," Killian confirmed handing the paper back to her. "She had plans to have lunch with Regina-"

"Perfect! Rapunzel can you watch the library?" Rapunzel nodded in agreement she and Hook were off like a rocket. She hadn't meant to be excited, but now she was. Probably too excited. There was still a chance that all of this might not work and they'd be back to the beginning again with very few roads left to travel along, but if it did work…she felt her heart give an excited flutter in her chest. If this did work then the fairies could be home, back here with them in only a few hours! She had no idea just how close they'd been to the answer this entire time.

"There may be a way to get the fairies out!" Hook blurted out the moment the pair of them stepped into Regina's office. He was right, they were both there. Regina at her desk and Emma opposite of her, looking almost upset by something. It didn't matter what, with any luck the end of this day was about to be turned on its head. No matter what had happened with the two women, it could wait. The fairies had waited long enough.

"Yeah, I uh…I found an incantation," she explained just as she had with Killian on the way over. She'd held back before, when she'd first talked to Regina because she didn't want to share any more than she had to and break the trust of the fairies still unknowingly hiding out in the convent. But there was no point now that she knew what it was. Or at least what this was. After this was over Blue could take her book back and hide it. She was done with magic. "Its part of a spell in an ancient tongue I've never seen before-"

Next to her Killian let out a sound and scoffed at her explanation. "Which made translation a challenge," he edited quickly for her, eager to move on.

"But I did it!" she concluded. "I found a professor of linguistics from Oxford…and he just e-mailed me with the translation," she stated happily, hoping they'd catch onto her good news. They could do this. Now. Today! She was so excited she could hardly breathe. "It's an ancient ceremony but uh…one that will bring them back. I uh…" she held out the printed translation that the professor had given her and Regina took it, looking it over quickly. "I just need you to enact it," she explained watching the witch.

Regina could do this. If she understood what the ceremony was calling for then that meant Regina did too. She believed that she was strong enough, with the right tool, the right channel, now all they needed was Regina to believe she could as well.

"A ceremony, huh?" Emma remarked stepping up next to her and looking Regina over. She was excited. She could tell that she was just by the look on her face, almost as excited as Hook was! He'd waited a long time for this. She knew that well enough. "Well Madam Mayor…ready to pronounce today 'Free the Fairies Day'?" she questioned setting a bottle of some drink or other down on her desk.

Regina glared up at her for a moment over the top of the paper she was reading. Then she reached forward with a small snort and suddenly from out of nowhere the metal cap of the bottle burst off the glass and into the air before falling to the ground. No one moved to pick it up. They were all too busy watching Regina, waiting for her answer as she sat back in her seat and drank while she examined the paper again in painful silence.

"This says that the instigator needs a tool. 'Great magic to enhance and channel their own'," she quoted skeptically.

She nodded. "Leave that to me," she stated, because she and Hook had already figured that bit out long ago without knowing it. She knew exactly what would work for Regina and she knew exactly where to get it. It had been sitting in a safe in her pawn shop for weeks waiting for a job just like this. "I have just the thing," she assured her. "I'll pick it up on the way to the woods."

"The woods?" Emma questioned. "And here I was thinking that I wasn't going to get dirty today."

"A bit of dirt, love…it's a small price to pay for their freedom," Hook corrected quickly.

"That was sarcasm," she answered shaking her head at him. "Clearly sarcasm, you got that right?" she asked looking at Regina. The woman only raised her eyebrows and looked away, a silent sign that she wasn't interested in getting involved in this fight. "Don't worry," she assured Killian taking a step closer to him, a step that made her ache so much she had to look away. "I'm with you on this. Tell me I need to show up in the middle of the ocean dressed as a chicken and I'm there. I promise. So…let's do this. Regina?" she questioned looking at the woman.

Regina glanced down at the paper again then stood up and looked at them over the top of her desk with a sigh. "I herby proclaim this 'Free the Fairies Day'," she said with a smile before raising her bottle.

Emma smiled and stepped forward so the women could clink their bottles together in a cheers. Regina took a deep sip but before Emma could she looked down and sneered at her own cap that was still firmly attached to her drink. "Hey," she breathed, "you want to uh…you know…again?" she question, making a gesture with her hand as she asked her to remove her own cap as she had before.

Regina only chuckled with a teasing smile and picked the paper up off her desk. "Pry it off with your teeth," she suggested with a small friendly laugh. "We have some good to do!"

She beamed at the friendly banter. They were a strange group. One made up of heroes and former villains, some villains still looking for their redemption in her opinion, but today it didn't matter. Because she felt pride as she left the office with them, as they all went over instructions and went to work quickly to make sure that they would get this done by tonight. Finally, after six weeks, help was finally on the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I know the flow for this chapter was all over the place, my apologies, sometimes it just happens that way. But hey, look on the bright side, it's nowhere near as bad as it was in MT&U where chapters were so chopped up, let's face it, they were minced! (Ba-dum-cha!)
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	19. Free the Fairies Day

Help was on the way but there were still a few things that needed to be done first. After a place to meet was set Regina disappeared to the mausoleum to do a required cleansing ritual in order to preform magic like this. "Cleansing ritual?" Emma questioned the moment she was gone. "Is her past going to be an issue with performing this spell?"

"No," she shook her head. "In fact it might help us. The one that performs it, their magic is supposed to be neutral, neither good nor bad. And Regina…well, she…"

"I think what my companion is trying to say is that Regina has always been more grey than black and white," Hook commented boldly, while still looking at her for confirmation that he'd explained that correctly. She offered a small nod. Those had actually been the words that she'd used to tell him, but with this new friendship Emma and Regina seemed to have…

"Right," Emma sighed. "Understood. What else do we need?"

Emma understood, and now it was time to move on to the rest of the ritual. For all the work that this had taken over the last few weeks, from here on out it was almost too easy. "A fourth person and four torches to mark the four corners of a square."

Emma and Hook exchanged a confident glance, understanding and accepting their tasks with a nod. "I'll go pick up Mary Margaret," Emma decided.

"I'll find some torches," Killian confirmed and in a blink of an eye they were gone, piling into Emma's little yellow bug and leaving her to walk back to the shop. The rest of what they needed was fairly easy to get. In the shop she found an empty vile, from his black bag she pulled out a black colored potion that she'd identified long ago, a potion to neutralize magic only for a few minutes but for their purposes it would work just fine. Finally she went over to her safe and unlocked it to retrieve the final two instruments. The hat. And Rumpelstiltskin's dagger. When it came to a great tool to channel great magic she didn't know of anything better to use.

She felt her stomach give an uneasy roll as she held it in her hand again. Weeks. It had been here weeks, ever since Hook had told her that he knew the dagger somehow had the power to open the hat she'd gone out to the beach and dug it up so that they could have it close by, so that when this day finally arrived then a trip to the coast wasn't important.

It was going back in the ground tonight.

She was determined that this was it. After all this was over, after the fairies were freed and could help Killian take over the rescue of anyone else trapped in that awful hat, then this would return to the ground and her life would go back to normal. Just the pawn shop and the library to worry about. No more magic. That was the life she had to look forward to now.

They parked on the side of the road at the place that they had all agreed on. The moment that Regina pulled up in her own car they all grabbed what they needed and got out.

"Tiki torches," Killian proclaimed resting his bundle of four against the ground. "Not as good as the real thing but-"

"Close enough," she finished for him. "No cell phones," she told them. "Nothing modern or electronic, this ritual needs to be as pure as possible."

"So what if something goes wrong?" Emma questioned. "We can't call for help."

"We'll have to make a run for it," she reasoned. "I don't know how much of this ritual is…ritual, and how much of it will actually affect the spell we'll be enacting, but safe is better than sorry. Are you ready?" she asked looking at Regina.

She nodded, reached into her pocket and tossed her cell phone through Emma's open window. "Let's get this over with."

The others followed suit, dropping phones old and new into the car for safe keeping, and in Emma's case a walkie talkie as well. She and Regina led the way into the forest, both silently looking for the same thing until Regina pointed something out. "There!" she exclaimed. "That should work."

It was a clearing. Small, but still large enough. And there, at its center, was a large rock. It was exactly what they were looking for. She nodded her head in agreement with Regina and the five of them moved into the area. "Alright," she sighed, reaching into her pockets for the items she'd brought with her. "Regina is the instigator, she can't do magic until she begins the spell. The rest of us act as ambassadors of the elements. Killian you'll be fire. We need those torches in the ground to form a square, perfect right angles, equal spacing. It sets this space apart from the rest of the world. This is ancient magic we're going to be using, older than the hat, hopefully this will help root and limit the magic only to this space so it doesn't get lose, then magnify and concentrate it."

She knew what she'd just proposed was no easy task, but no one complained. She handed him a small measuring tape she'd brought and a protractor. Emma groaned, muttered something about geometry actually being useful after all and the pair of them set to work placing the torches correctly, as she'd instructed so that Hook could light them properly, clockwise, starting in the north.

"Next is air," she explained reaching into her pocket for the vile that contained the black potion. "We have to clear the space of any preexisting magic." She took her place again in the center of the square, took a leaf, covered it in the potion and used it to fling the spell into the air. Each side of the square, each corner. As far as she could tell the droplets never hit the ground. They weren't supposed to. The air absorbed them as if it was medicine and the next thing she heard was Emma fidget in a shiver.

"You feel that?" she asked Regina.

She watched as Regina's eyes roamed over the area and she nodded. "It's working," she muttered before her eyes fell on her there at the center. "You are frighteningly good at this."

There was a time that a compliment like that from Regina would have made her smile with pride, now she wasn't so sure she felt pride in her knowledge. All she felt like magic ever brought her, and everyone else she'd ever known for that matter, was heartache. If she could use her knowledge for good that was fine, a small consolation prize from the havoc it had wrecked on her life, but after this…she intended to put as much distance between it and her as she possibly could.

"Well, with any luck, after this is over, I'll be retiring early," she commented putting the bottle away and pulling out the vile filled with water. "Mary Margaret, you'll represent water. I need you to pour this around that rock, make sure there is enough that it goes all the way around and forms a complete circle." The Queen nodded and stepped forward, taking the bottle and walking slowly and carefully around the rock with it until she came to a stop in the place that she'd begun.

"Now what?" she breathed.

"All that's left is earth," she took the vile from Mary Margaret and the piece of paper with the professor's translation from Regina. On the back of it she wrote down the ancient characters, a simple phrase written in the book that the fairies had given her to rescue their own and handed it to Emma. "You need to carve that on the rock."

"I'm guessing you don't me with a chisel and hammer," the woman assumed looking it over.

"With your magic," she confirmed. "It will help to channel the element and invoke the strongest of magic here in this space. Once you've done it none of us can leave until the spell is complete. While Regina enacts it, we'll need to stand away and be as still as possible. No matter what happens."

"Are we expecting something to happen?" Mary Margaret asked looking almost pale.

She shook her head and offered a small, but still unsure smile. "No," she breathed. "We've done everything right, this should go exactly as planned. Emma?"

The girl shrugged next to her, swallowed, then took a deep breath. As she let it out she seemed focused and concentrated, then suddenly pushed her arms through the air so that white light burst forth from them to touch the rock lightly. The ground around them vibrated and there was a dull high pitched tone that began to ring in her ears but only seconds later it stopped. And when she finally looked at the stone she saw the words carved there, glowing red hot and cooling by the second.

That was it. Now they were ready.

"We can begin now," she whispered as they all moved close to the stone again. From inside her jacket pocket she pulled out the final two items they needed. The hat, which she handed over to Regina immediately, and the dagger. No one seemed terribly surprised to see it. Regina took her place on the other side of the rock and settled the hat, or at least it's protective cylinder down in the center. It was the only thing that hadn't been mentioned in the spell. Originally representation of the realm from where the protectors they were calling on was called for, but she was hoping that this variation would work. It had to. "Here," she muttered finally handing the dagger over to her.

"You got it?" Emma questioned as Regina took the dagger from her.

"I got it," she confirmed in a small voice. Everyone was eager but no one was stupid. This would either work or it wouldn't. And if it didn't, or something went wrong…she didn't want to imagine what would happen then.

Emma began to move away first and the others followed her motions just as she'd commanded. Then Regina began.

The ritual was wordless. There were things that Regina needed to be repeating and thinking about over and over in her head but otherwise it was just a bunch of seemingly silly gestures that few would ever understand.

A hand flat against the dagger to acknowledge its power, to allow her own to travel through it.

A circle above the little box, to call on the power of the elements to assist them, to find those they were calling out to. Protectors.

The blade flat against the top, to identify the place there were calling the protectors from, the part she was the most unsure about.

A final tap against Regina's hand to acknowledge her own power, in hopes that it would be seen as a humble request.

Something changed with that gesture. The air around them felt as though it was charged with energy. It was humming, vibrating against her skin like she'd never felt before.

And then, finally a timid but still powerful looking Regina stepped back, tapped the dagger against the box, the silent request to do as she commanded the magic around her and-

Regina stepped back and watched. She wasn't magical but she could still feel it in the air. What did it feel like for her and Emma? What would it-

Suddenly it was gone. All of it, every ounce of energy and magic she'd called upon. It was just gone! Was that right? Had they failed?! What had gone-

Suddenly a light burst forth from the box and she understood what had happened. The box had absorbed the magic, and now it was rejecting it. Someone screamed as the light grew and she forgot that she had to be still and turned, shielding her eyes from the sight and protecting herself from the violent wind blowing dirt and debris around her as the box regurgitated the magic it had just taken in.

And then it was over. Just like that. After weeks of searching and scheming and planning...the wind stopped, the magic truly did dissipate, and the light was gone. And when she finally uncovered her eyes to glance over to see if anything had happened-her jaw dropped.

Magic wasn't the only thing the hat had expelled.

They were there, all of them, on the ground huddled together in a great mass of blue with the exception of Mother Superior who was on her hands and knees on the other side of the rock. They'd done it. They were free.

Emma was the first to rush forward and help. Soon enough she came to her senses and they followed after her to bring aid to the larger group. But they didn't need aid. She expected them to be weak or injured. Instead they just looked shaken. Well, shaken and grateful. Very grateful. Until they saw Killian.

Mouths fell open, the women gasped, arms locked onto others as they moved away from him...and he shrunk from them. "No," she muttered stepping forward and examining them. "It's…it's alright. He didn't do it. Not really, he…he was under a spell," she concluded glancing at him. He looked hurt, the rejection the fairies had given him upon instinct she had no doubt was painful, but at her words he seemed better, if only slightly. A smirk pulled at the corner of his mouth as he looked at her and suddenly she understood what it really meant to leave the past in the past.

Slowly the fairies unwound from one another. They still looked frightened, but as they all looked over themselves, then each other, slowly small smiles and tears broke out in the group. Hugs were exchanged and sniffles were heard as they cried in happiness for their freedom. They asked over and over again if they were okay while Emma talked with Mother Superior, but all they did was curl back into one another until Mother Superior joined them.

She meant to talk to the woman, to ask her if she was alright but before she could she felt a tap on her elbow. Regina. Handing her back the dagger, her hands shaking.

"Are you alright?" she asked, taking it and putting a hand on her shoulder. She looked pale, and despite her demeanor she could feel her body trembling beneath her clothes.

"Fine, I just want it out of my hands," she admitted. Belle nodded and carefully slid the dagger back into the pocket within her jacket. Out of sight, out of mind. Still…Regina looked undeniably shaken.

"You're sure you're alright," she questioned.

"Fine," she stated again pulling away. "But I never want to feel anything like what that dagger can do ever again. I knew that it was dark magic…but that…"

She nodded. There was no need for Regina to go on. She already knew how damaging it could be. Intimately. "It'll be hidden again by nightfall," she assured the mayor. "I promise. You won't have to worry about it ever again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing these chapters. Magic chapters always make me happy and I had a lot of fun trying to come up with the reasoning for the actions that we saw in the episode. Plus, I felt like I needed to come up with a legit reason for Mary Margaret to be there because if not it just seemed funny that she all of the sudden kind of appeared for this all on her own without David. And then the issue with Regina and the dagger, struggling to keep herself on track...I felt that was important to show as well. I hope that ya'll liked it!
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	20. Her Retirement Party

Cold and heartless as he was, painful as the memory of the night of their engagement could be, her husband had been honest about something that night. All this town seemed to do was get into trouble and then celebrate when it was over.

The fairies were freed. And while that didn't do much for the problem of the hat as a whole, morale seemed boosted by this one success. The moment they brought the fairies into Granny's, because they were all hungry and needed something to eat, an unplanned and impromptu party began.

"Oh, please," Superior argued, "we don't want the fuss."

"Don't think of it as fuss over you," Emma countered looking at her. "Think of it as fuss over our librarian. I suppose now you can retire from magic as you planned. And everyone knows that a retirement isn't really official until there is cake involved."

"Retire from magic…" Superior whispered looking her over with wide eyes. "But how with the Dark One…?"

She felt tears pool into her eyes and a lump in her throat as she reminded herself that after six weeks there was a lot for their friends to get caught up on. Including her new single status. And suddenly that fact...it seemed to hit harder than it had before. "Would you excuse me?" she managed to get out of her mouth before moving to the bathroom. Behind her she could hear the fairy ask Emma if she'd said something wrong and Mary Margaret kindly stepped in to tell her that things had changed over the last few weeks, then she shut the bathroom door behind her and leaned against it.

It was done. Over and done and behind her, in the past. She should be happy. The last bit of Rumpelstiltskin's horrible plot was beginning to unravel and as Emma had pointed out so well, now she could retire. Now she could really and truly be done with magic. She should be happy. But she didn't feel happy. The tears in her eyes just didn't seem like tears of joy. They felt like sadness. Crippling, overtaking sadness. She knew those tears well, she knew the reason they existed…but she just couldn't allow herself to accept them.

She'd done a good thing. She just wished that she didn't feel so empty inside.

In her pocket her cell phone began to buzz and she was only too happy to have something else to do besides stare at herself in the tiny mirror and try hard not to think about Rumpelstiltskin, about where he was, and if she could call him. About what he'd say if he knew she'd freed the fairies and wonder what he was doing...if he missed her, if he thought about her, if he still loved her and could ever forgive her for-

Will.

The name on her phones screen was a blessing. Enough to disconnect her from her dark thoughts. How he always knew to call her at the right time was a mystery to her. He was a good man. Steady. A strong anchor. Drifting in the middle of an endless ocean of darkness as she was, an anchor was a good thing to have. Though even she acknowledged a light would be better.

"Hey," she answered, trying to sound happy. "Where were you? I missed you this morning."

"Doin' things only merry men do," he answered humorously. "Jus' wanted to call and apologize for no' showin' up. I don' know when I can come into town, there's something strange in the woods."

"In the woods?" she questioned. "Nothing dangerous…"

"Nah!" he scoffed, "probably a deer or a really big moose. Maybe a wolf. But it's got the men all riled up. I don' know if I'll be able to stop by today."

"That's fine," she answered, looking herself over in the mirror. As much as she needed him to help her calm these moments of pure despair at some point she would have to learn how to handle them on her own. This one was easy enough to control. There was a party just outside the door, a party perfect for welcoming fairies home or celebrating her retirement from magic. Either way it would be a good distraction. "Just…be safe," she insisted. "And let me know what happens tonight. I have a lot to tell you."

"I look forward to each and every word," he confirmed before hanging up.

She could do this, with or without Neal or Will or Rumpelstiltskin she could face the world. One celebration at a time. And so she did.

It wasn't horrible. The truth was that people were more excited to see the fairies than anything so the only thing she had to worry about was the occasional person walking up to thank her for her hard work. She accepted their gratitude, did her part to inform them that it was a group effort, and left them to go off and thank someone else or talk to one of the fairies. And she didn't seem to be alone in her wallowing. Killian wasn't right either.

He took the seat next to her after a while smiled, but it wasn't as genuine as she knew it could be. "So, no more magic. What will you do with your life now?" he questioned reaching over for a piece of fruit by her arm.

She shrugged. Was it possible to ever really retire from magic? "Probably just read more," she answered generically. Books. They held much safer adventures and much happier endings than anything she could ever expect to find in this world. "What about you?" she questioned before she could sink too deep again. "What will you do now?"

He sighed and looked around the room, at Mary Margaret and the Fairies, at Emma, Henry, and Regina having a pleasant but still painful looking conversation with Mother Superior. "Probably just get back to work. If these fairies can do as you believe and free the old man…then I'll keep working to set him free as well."

Right. She was done. He wasn't. And his devotion to this…it was good. It was something to be encouraged. "Well, if you need any help you know where to find me. Even retirees can't forget their roots completely. If it hadn't been for one answering our call of distress the fairies would still be trapped in that hat," she pointed out with a smile that faltered before it really got the chance to be a smile.

Killian nodded. "I owe you a great debt as it is already. I couldn't have done this without your help. And I know working together wasn't always the easiest, but-"

"We managed," she insisted quickly. "We did a good thing. And I'm around if you need me to do more good," she assured him.

He smiled. "I'm pleased to hear that."

A lot had changed over the last few weeks. She and Rumpelstiltskin, she and Will, she and Hook…there might be hope for the two of them yet.

"So, how do you feel now that-"

But she never got to finish that sentence before something stopped her. Another sound. One that chilled her to the bones because she knew without looking that it wasn't good. And judging by the way everything had stopped, so did everyone else in the room.

It was a roar. A deep echoing roar coming from outside.

"What was that?" Mary Margaret breathed.

Superior shook her head. "I've got no idea."

"Henry stay here," Emma whispered as she and Regina stood up and began moving outside. There wasn't even a thought in her mind to stay away. The moment that Hook stood up, she was off and following him outside with Mary Margaret trailing behind.

Once outside there was a deep rumbling growl that made the entire street feel like it was vibrating and it wasn't hard to see why. The moment they stepped out onto the street it was clear. There. On top of her library tower…something.

She had no idea what it was. But it was big and so dark it's body seemed to absorb and steal the sunlight turning it's skin into shadow. It had glowing red eyes and horns and it flexed its bat-like wings menacingly as it examined the people scrambling on the street below while they tried to get away from it. It screamed again. Another terrible horrible roar that twisted her stomach because she knew instantly where the creature had come from. It just wasn't possible for a monster like this to have hidden itself in Storybrooke all this time without being spotted. And unfortunately the only thing that had really changed was the hat. She knew what happened.

The fairies weren't the only thing that spell had summoned…because it hadn't been a spell to summon fairies. It was a spell to summon protectors of magic. Unspecified protectors. If it could call forth protectors of light magic…why not protectors of dark?

The creature suddenly let out another roar only this time it flapped its mighty wings and reared up before them all. The people around them were screaming, running to get as far away as they possibly could but she and the others remained unmoved by the creature, holding their breath, waiting…until it began to dive, down, down, down…toward them. They finally moved out of the way just in time, her heart racing and her hair blowing in the wind that the creature had left in his wake as they covered themselves against a nearby car.

Once she felt the wind die down and it had passed she glanced back at it with the others. Where it had come from was irrelevant. What mattered was what it was and what it was trying to do. She was waiting for another strike, for someone to be taken or for it to breathe fire but it did nothing of the sort. Just examined the people below and continued on its path. Movement in the opposite direction caught her eye and she realized that Emma and Regina were moving on away from the car. She followed, hearing the footsteps of Killian and Mary Margaret behind her as they ran down the street and took shelter in the alleyway.

"Did that thing come out of the hat?!" Regina questioned sounding baffled. Clearly she wasn't the only one to have put everything together. "I thought the spell was only supposed to release the fairies," she clarified looking angrily at her.

"Well, maybe it is some kind of fairy," Mary Margaret breathed, coming to her defense.

Truthfully, she had thought the spell would only release the fairies too. She just hadn't completely thought the ritual that the other fairies had given her through until now. Otherwise she'd have noticed the problem and considered that there might be other protectors inside the thing. It was an honest mistake. One that she regretted above all else at the moment.

"Why don't we just put it back in the hat and figure out the rest later?" Emma suggested, trying to find a solution instead of blaming someone else for the problem.

"Because we can't," she pointed out sadly. It would have been a great solution, only it wasn't plausible. "Once something's freed, it can never be re-trapped," she explained to everyone, recalling the story she'd read about the Sorcerer's child apprentice.

"Great so our best defense against magical beast follows the same rules as chicken pox?!" Emma blanched glancing at Regina.

"Surely the savior and the Evil Queen can defeat a simple hell beast," Hook reasoned nervously glancing around the corner and gesturing for the two of them. One quick glance toward the street and she knew why. It was coming back.

"Can we drop the 'e word' already," Regina growled at him before glancing at Emma and nodding. The two exchanged a silent conversation with just that one look and without another word the two of them ran back out toward the middle of the street.

She watched from the alley as the women took a firm stance in the middle of the street and the circling creature caught a glimpse of them. Like a moth to the flame it turned, reared back, roared again…and before it could land a blow Emma and Regina both hit it with their own powerful brand of magic…two different brands. There was a spark and the creature was engulfed in flames and for a moment she was certain that it was over, that it would perish right then and there…but it didn't. It's leather wings and meaty hands protected it, shielding it from the fire before it turned again and began to fly away. Still alive. Still free. What was that thing?

Mary Margaret began to run for her daughter the moment the beasts back was turned and she followed with Hook back out onto the street again to get a better look.

"We only stunned it," she caught Regina telling Emma, "and a blast like that should have destroyed it." So it was powerful. Maybe there was a good reason certain things were in that hat. Why hadn't she considered that before?! Why hadn't she seen the magical loophole that the fairies had unknowingly put into her hands? She should be an expert at loopholes by now!

Emma's shoulders slouched in disappointment at the comment, but only for a second before she saw determination flood back into her stance. "I was just getting used to things being all relaxing around here," she mutter regrettably. Relaxing. Is that what these last few weeks had been? She could have sworn "tense" was the word that Emma should have used. "Belle-"

"I'll see if I can find anything about this… _thing_ in the library," she interrupted quickly. No brawn just brain…it may have been weeks since the last disaster but she remembered her place in it well enough. If their method wasn't broken yet, why bother to fix it.

"Thanks!" Emma piqued almost too happily. "And Mary Margaret-"

"I'll get everyone to safety," she finished for her. "I'm on it!"

Emma almost looked stunned by the words thought. "Wow, you guys really have this down," she commented looking at them with far more excitement than this situation called for. Mary Margaret nodded and walked off to begin her own task.

"Well, this isn't our first monster bash," Hook explained perfectly.

No. This was nowhere near their first "bash" as Hook put it. And she had nearly forgotten, but deep down she should have known better. Their lives, who they were, this wasn't their first and sadly, with or without Rumpelstiltskin, it wouldn't be their last either.

"So…" Hook commented as they moved back into the library to begin their task of figuring out what they'd unleashed, "how're you enjoying your retirement?"

She didn't respond. Merely remembered that they never had gotten around to the cake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there it goes, the loophole that I told you existed chapters ago! The spell was to extract magical protectors and it didn't specify good or bad protectors. Who got that? Yeah, I know, I could have just let it be what Mary Margaret said, made it a fairy...but it seemed too easy so I went this route instead. It seemed just as sensible and I felt added an element of realism to the situation. After all, no one is right all the time and people do theorize and sometimes they are wrong!
> 
> Thank you, thank you, thank you Intrikate88 for your comments. I'm glad you everyone enjoyed the last chapter as much as I did! Yay! Peace and Happy Reading!


	21. Unnecessary Assistance

Rapunzel was gone from the library when they arrived. When she pulled out her cell phone she found a simple text message that her father had picked her up early to celebrate her birthday and she felt a stab of guilt. It was her birthday. She hadn't known that. After weeks of doing her best to try and get to know her...she had failed. And now, instead of taking her out and celebrating with her herself, it was her and Hook...again. No matter how hard she tried to change her life...her life rarely complied.

"Where do we begin?" he questioned following her back into the room she reserved for magical books, the room she'd spent far too much time in over the last couple of months.

"Protectors," she answered looking on her shelves and beginning to pull books out. "The spell the fairies gave us to free their own was a spell meant to call on protectors of magic and judging by that one I'd say we're looking for a protector of dark magic."

"That sounds like an astute observation," Killian drawled as she put together a stack of five books and laid them in his arms.

"Big, horns, red eyes, big wings…find anything that matches that description." He didn't argue and now wasn't the time to make humorous comments, he just took his stack of books out into the library, sat down, and began to read. In the mean time she carried four of her own out onto the table. Timid as their new relationship was it worked well for a situation like this. Sitting in the library in complete silence as they looked through books for hours at a time was normal to them at this point. But she trusted Killian to do the work as she'd taught him to do it just as she did her own.

She scanned the pages of her book, trying to find any mention of magical protectors, dark beasts, half-human half-bat hybrids. She read passages on fairies, vampires, sphinx, trolls, even a legend of a very unique ogre…but none of it answered any of the questions that they had. Nothing matched the creature nothing gave them any hints. And as one hour rolled into two the occasional roars and screams that came from outside of the library didn't help things along. She felt guilty again. How could she have let this happen? How could she have forgotten to be careful with magic? It was a tricky devil and she should have thought of something so that they only summoned good protectors and not-

Another growl came from directly above her and made the building shake. She and Killian glanced upward as the building shuddered. "I think it's on the roof again," he whispered across from her. She nodded but he couldn't see her agreement because they were both too focused on the ceiling to look at each other. It was fine. The thing had landed on the roof a couple of times in the last half hour, it never did anything but sit there for a while before taking off again, at least that's what it sounded like to her, they couldn't exactly see it from inside and they weren't about to go outside and see for themselves. But it didn't matter. She only hoped that the building would hold up against its weight and keep the thing on the outside.

Together they remained silent and still as they waited for the next roar and thud that she knew would be the creature pushing itself off the building and into the sky again. They were ready, they both had their hands on their books as they listened for anything that suggested they needed to get up and run. The only sound either of them made was the sound of their own breath. It was like waiting for a storm to come. A big terrible-

They both jumped the moment her phone went off next to her. "Bloody hell!" Killian cried as she gasped and snatched it off the table quickly covering its ringer. Whether or not the beast heard it she didn't know, but a moment later the building gave a familiar shudder, the beast roared and she knew that it had flown away again to circle the town.

She answered the phone quickly and talked to Mary Margaret on the other end of the line. The streets were clear. School had been out before the thing appeared in the sky and she had just told everyone that she saw to take shelter anywhere they could until the Charming family gave the all clear. She and Hook were to follow suit and remain indoors, she and David were waiting with Neal, and Emma and Regina were holed up in the Mayor's Office, working on a solution.

She thanked her for her information, confirmed that Henry was among those taking shelter in Granny's and promised that the moment she found anything she would give the women a call.

"I'm beginning to feel like this task is nearly as impossible and daunting as freeing the fairies," Killian commented as she sat back down to get back to work.

She shook her head. "It's not," she insisted. "We just have to keep looking." This was different than figuring out the hat. The hat was a riddle, this was a creature, a big creature. It was impossible that it hadn't been documented or had a myth or two written about it. They just had to find the documentation or myth that spoke of it.

"No we don't…" Hook drawled catching her eye from across the table. "I spoke too soon. I think I just found the beast."

She looked him over with disbelief. "You're joking," she questioned.

He shook his head. "Call it beginners luck all you like, love, but…" he spun the book in his hand around and slid it across the table to her, "that's the beast stalking the town."

She didn't need to read the words on the page to know if he was right or not, there was a picture right next to the passage of a dark figure, half-bat, half-man, wings, horns, black as the ink he was drawn with, and red smudged eyes. Ironic…but stranger things were known to happen in this town than research turning up results.

"'The Chernabog,'" she read, "'is a creature that seeks out blackness. It thrives nearly invisible in the night sky and cavernous mountains. Though often thought to be a creature of Dark Magic, the Chernabog is neither good nor bad. They prefer solitude and sleep most of their lives, however for this reason Chernabogs have often been caught and trapped for a very special very unique purpose.

"'The Chernabog has the ability to identify the heart with the greatest potential for evil. They feed on the energy that it gives off, turning the magic neutral to sustain it's own life. The magic from a single heart has been known to sustain the Chernabog for up to half a century. With little interest in gold or jewels or magic of either Light or Dark, Chernabogs have been made into watch dogs. Guarding precious, valuable, and sometimes magical items in their caverns, thieves that arrive to steal these goods often find themselves face to face with death itself.'"

She glanced across the table at Hook as she finished reading and nodded. "That's him."

"And that's wonderful but it doesn't say anything about how we destroy it!" he pointed out.

"That's fine," she assured him. "We know it's name, things can only get easier from-"

"Belle!"

"-here…" she finished glancing around the corner for Emma who had just run into the library with Regina looking breathless. "We're here!" she called out to the women. "Emma…we found it," she explained picking up the book and meeting her halfway there. "We know what it is, it's called a-"

"Chernabog," Emma finished for her. "We're already one step ahead of you."

Another shocker. First Hook found the thing without her and now Emma knew what it was first too? Maybe she really could retire. "Do you know how to stop it?" Killian asked moving around her to Emma.

She nodded her head. "We have a plan."

"A theory, really," Regina drawled behind her.

"It's a plan," Emma corrected, looking back at her with disbelief. "A good plan. But we need something first. The scroll, the one that Ingrid used to get into Storybrooke. You took it after Elsa showed it to us, do you still have it?"

"Well…yes. Yes, of course, but…but I don't understand what-"

Another roar ripped through the town. It was distant, but closer than the last one had been. It was coming back.

"It's getting closer," Regina growled staring at the ceiling like the rest of them before she turned her fiery eyes back to her. "Do you have the scroll or not?"

She nodded and moved around them to her desk, pulling open the drawer that the thing had been sitting in for weeks because while she couldn't find any more use for it, she also couldn't bring herself to throw it away. Maybe that had been a good thing. "I don't understand how it'll help you get rid of the Chernabog," she muttered handing it over.

"It won't," Regina said snatching it out of her hand. "We have to let some old friends into town first," she snarled unhappily, then turned and left the library, running after she got to the door. Emma made to follow her but Hook reached out and grabbed her hand.

"It's okay," she promised him before he could speak even a single word. "It'll be fine, we'll be careful. I have Savior magic remember, what's the worst that could happen?" Looking at Hook as she walked away, she was sure that he could think of a few things that could happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was just a mess. I feel like this half season was partially where the show started to go wrong for Belle all though not necessarily in the way that you think. Yes, we can all agree that the Scarlet Beauty idea was cringe worthy but at least it had it's point. What I feel happened to Belle in this half season was that she was made useless. All of a sudden Belle wasn't needed to do research any more, there is less and less of it required of her and this was the perfect example. Emma sent her to do research and in the end didn't need or use it. It's pretty much the same throughout the rest of 4B, they focused more on her relationship than they did her brain and let's face it, when I say they focused on her relationship with Will I mean that they focused on it for about 2 minutes in the entire plot. That, in my opinion, is truly the beginning of the end for out girl.
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	22. From One Battle to Another

The shore was beautiful at night. Or maybe it was just this night, this time, the events of the day. Maybe it was just the way that the moon hit the sea foam and made it glow in the moonlight. Maybe it was just knowing that everything was finally over.

It had barely been a half hour after Regina and Emma left the library with the scroll that Emma contacted Hook and told him that everything was fine. They'd dealt with the creature using simple logic. Magical creatures could only exist where there was magic, outside the town line there was no magic, ergo as soon as the creature crossed the town line, he simply didn't exist anymore.

It was brilliant, but somehow unsatisfying perhaps because it was far easier than she had expected it to be.

"Well, did she say who the old friends were?" she asked Killian when he hung up the phone, after Emma had called to confirm everything was fine and handled and they could leave the library again.

"She didn't," he answered. "Though frankly I forgot to ask."

She only nodded and sighed at the news. "I suppose it doesn't matter. Town like this…everyone will be talking about it by mid-night."

"Aye," he confirmed. "Well," he muttered after a few moments of awkward silence, "Emma and I have plans so…thank you, again, for all your help," he said offering her his one good hand to shake. It was a simple gesture, a friendly one that didn't really fit the pirate she'd once known. But then again, reaching out and taking the hand wasn't anything like the woman that she'd been months ago either. And though Hook had been done for the day and free to go celebrate the victory with Emma and her family, she wasn't. She had one last promise to keep.

Once more she'd waited until darkness struck, then hid the dagger under her coat and trekked out to the beach to rebury it. She was smart about it, she buried it in a different place than before, farther down the beach, closer to a little factory where she knew the incoming tide wouldn't be a problem because the good thing about keeping it at the shop all these weeks was that she'd had a good long time to think about about where to put it. It should have been a quick job, she should have been home hours ago but the moment she'd covered the knife with sand and stepped away she found herself walking down the shore to where she'd put it originally, the place she'd once watched Ariel swim away to Neverland with a box. She sat down alone on a nearby log and made herself small against the cold as she watched the ocean. She didn't know why she was here, why she'd stopped instead of gone home, why she had this feeling in the pit of her stomach, the same feeling she'd had back in Granny's...a feeling of aimless wandering.

It was over. The fairies were free. The Chernabog was extinct. The dagger back was in the ground just as she'd promised Regina. She'd been waiting for this day for weeks even if she hadn't known she was. After he'd gone away she'd had nothing to hold onto and though Hooks proposal that they work together to get the fairies free had been shocking and hurtful, it had also given her drive and purpose.

What now? Where did she go from here? Home? To bed? Did she wake up every morning from here on out and work in the shop and the library? Was that where her life had taken her? Was that really the life she'd always dreamed of?

No. It wasn't. The life that she'd imagined for herself weeks ago looked nothing like this. In a perfect world, after a day like today she and Rumpelstiltskin would have gotten dinner at Granny's and gone home. They probably would have saved dinner for lunch in favor of going up into their bedroom and not emerging until the next task called on them. They would have talked about something…anything. They might have talked about what happened today, they might have lamented never being done with magic despite the fact that they both wanted to, they may have laughed over the sight of a half bat like creature, or they might have surprised each other and talked about something completely different like the library, or Henry, or children.

She placed her forehead down against her knees as that thought rushed into her. No. That life was gone. It was just as real now as that Chernabog was. And not for the first time she found herself thinking that it wasn't as impossible as she thought, that if she crossed the town line and went to find him again that they could learn to be fine together in the real world. She might be able to get passed his lies and indiscretions. But it still wouldn't be right. It would always be settling. It would always be the weak thing to do. Staying here, away from him, might seem like it was the wrong choice to many people, to Regina and Emma but to her…it took more strength and courage to make a life for herself away from him than it did with him. And she wished more than anything right now that it didn't.

Her phone rang inside her pocket again and she let out a light laugh before sitting up and fumbling for it. Of course her phone would ring right this moment. She couldn't remember the last time anyone had actually called her on it and yet today it had gone off at just about every inconvenient time it could!

She sniffled as she checked the little screen and saw that it was Will. Of course it was. The super hero that always seemed to know exactly when to call her. That was just fine. She didn't know if there was a future with Will, but he was certainly a key figure in her present right now. Rumpelstiltskin was gone. He'd taken their future over the town line with him. And it was alright because she was moving on. She already had. And if she kept telling that to everyone around her, if she kept repeating it over and over in her head, then maybe one day she'd wake up and realize it was true. She didn't know if that thought was hopeful or not.

"Will, hey!" she breathed, wiping the tears away from her eyes and slowly walking away from her spot on the beach.

"'Eard you had one 'ell of a day," he commented immediately, nearly bringing her to a stand still.

"Who, uh…who told you that?"

"Granny," he answered. "Finally go' into town to see if I could find ya and you were gone already."

"Yeah sorry," she confirmed moving back toward the car. "I had something to do."

"Everyone's busy today then. I suppose you already know wha' we were 'unting in the woods wasn' an animal. Leas' no' one from this world."

She closed her eyes and let out an embarrassed sigh. She'd completely forgotten about that. To be honest they fact that Will had said he couldn't come to see her that day because some strange beast was loose in the woods hadn't even crossed her mind. She'd told him to be careful and then forgotten to worry almost as soon as she hung up with him, after they'd found out about the Chernabog. But now that she thought about it, yes, she understood it wasn't a deer or a wolf as they'd suspected. It was the Chernabog they'd let lose in the woods. The one her mistake had freed. She should have thought of that sooner.

"Are you alright?" she questioned. "The men-"

"All fine, i' takes a bi' more than a shadow creature to scare us off."

"Well…it's gone now so you can let the men know that they can sleep easy tonight."

"Yeah, Granny told me," he answered. "Can' say the same about the pair of them though. Granny's up preparing proper rooms for the guests now and checking the locks on the los' boy's doors before they come back from wherever they ventured off to, and I can' confirm i' bu' I think I saw 'er with a crossbow! Can' say I blame 'er. Sounds like i' was only a' Emma's insistence tha' she le' them stay 'ere in the firs' place."

She stopped in her tracks as she worked her way through the jumble that Will had just presented her with. The strangers, the old friends that Regina and Emma had let into Storybrooke with the scroll. They were staying at Granny's…and she was checking the locks on the lost boy's doors? Who were these people?!

"Why?" she questioned. "Do you know who they are?"

"Course, the 'ole town does. Or seems to a' leas', 'eard 'alf a dozen unhappy customers leave when they were in 'ere for dinner!"

"So...who are they?" she prompted again, wishing that he would just tell her so that she wasn't surprised when she ran into these people on the street.

"Two women," he answered. "One named Ursula and the other goes by the name of Cruella. That's encouraging..."

The world froze. Her body felt numb, she forgot to breathe, she couldn't see anything but blackness as the world faded away, she couldn't hear the ocean or Will or even the wind anymore. Everything stopped at those names.

Ursula.

Cruella.

Those were names that she knew. Faces, she knew, clearly! They burned into her brain, terrible sneers from one and horribly sweet words from another.

They were here. Here in Storybrooke! Living in Granny's just down the road!

Through the cold fear something began to break into her mind. A voice, muffled and distant, calling her name…she jumped and looked around for the source of the voice, suddenly wondering how fast she could get into her car and get to safety!

But the voice was only Will. Calling out to her from the ground. It took her a minute to come back to her senses, to hear the ocean behind her and have the shadows of the town she knew come back into identifiable focus. Her phone...it was on the ground at her feet. At the news she'd dropped it and that was why Will's voice was coming from her feet now, asking if she could hear him, if things were alright, and wondering what had happened. Her skin tingled as blood rushed through her body and she quickly located the phone on the ground and pressed it back to her ear. "Sorry, sorry I'm here, I just…I tripped and dropped my phone."

"Are you alrigh'?"

"Fine, perfectly fine," she excused, without being sure why she'd lied to him. All she really knew was that she wasn't sure that she wanted anyone to know about their history. Even if he did what could Will do? He was just as ordinary as she was! He couldn't fight them like Rumple had, they'd kill him before he got the chance, just like they'd tried to kill her…like they might try again. And this time, without Rumple to come running after her…

Oh, she needed to get home now, right this moment! Will said that they'd left the diner, who knew where they would go! She had the Gauntlet, the real one, and they'd proved already that they were willing to kill to get it. They weren't going to, but for her own sanity she needed to get to a place that she knew was safe and think things through. In the Enchanted Forest his spells had held up passed death, she hoped that the spells that he had put on the house and shop, her library would endure beyond his exile because she wouldn't give them the Gauntlet. She didn't know why they needed it then and she didn't know why they would need it now but they weren't going to get it. If that meant that she had to return to the shop and use every trick in his black bag of horrors to keep it from them then so be it!

Whether or not she liked it, magic wasn't done with her yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And just like that 4x12 is a memory and we are on to 4x13. Did anyone notice that her coping is not so much coping as it is lying to herself? In one breath she admits to missing him and the life they had as well as wanting to go over the line and see him and in the next breath she is convinced that she is moving on? She is clearly a very confused woman right now and while I think that Will helps with some of that I think that he is also not helpful with some of it. Also, how did I do with the announcement that Cruella and Ursula were in town? Did that seem alright for everyone?
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	23. Pains of Endearment

Everyone was on edge in town. Everyone.

The villainous pair had been there five days now and so far nothing seemed out of the ordinary except for Cruella's car, which could be spotted speeding down the street erratically at all hours of the day. So far nothing had happened, nothing had changed, and there had been nothing reported, at least as far as she knew, since their arrival. And she would have thought that was a good thing, that her nerves would have begun to settle…but they didn't. She could feel the tension in the air. Everyone was on edge, waiting, anticipating the moment that something changed again for good. Five days wasn't long, but it was long enough for her to know that no one trusted these women.

She took precautions, as many as she could. The Gauntlet was at home, hidden away in the basement, the place that she could be sure it was safest from the pair of them. She hadn't yet told Will about her history with them, but she didn't feel she needed to as she'd taken other steps to defend herself. Small weapons, little traps, potions...they were everywhere. Hidden all over the shop, the library, the car, and yes, even home. Though she was sure that she was fairly well protected already, she just wanted to be as certain as possible that she was and extra precautionary measures were never something she would regret, especially if it worked. So she'd found the potions in his black bag and then found more of them in his spell books and made more with the golden thread that he had left behind in his bag. There was a freezing potion in her handbag next to her pepper spray and an immobilizing potion in the glove box by the heavy flashlight. She slept with a potion to seal a victims eyes shut under her pillow and a dagger under what had been Rumple's pillow. There was one that would produce a high pitched deafening noise in the refrigerator by a taser Doc gave her and at her insistence Rapunzel carried one with her in her pocket at the library just in case. And this shop…there was all that and more in this shop at the moment. Hidden on every shelf, under every counter, and inside every drawer.

She hoped it was enough. So far she hadn't had a need to test whether or not it was and she hoped that she wouldn't ever have that need in the future.

The bell over the door rang and a quick glance at the clock eased her heartbeat immediately. Right on time, just like always. "Mornin' beautiful!" Will greeted with a kiss on her cheek, joining her in the back room. It was just like every other morning he showed up here. Only…something had been different this time. Something that shouldn't bother her, something she shouldn't mind, and just leave alone! But it made her ears itch and she just couldn't let it rest.

"Beautiful, huh?" she questioned awkwardly.

"Jus' trying i' out," he explained. "I' was strange, wasn' i'?" he commented after a moment, looking her over skeptically.

"No!" she corrected quickly. "No, no, it was…it was…maybe it was a little awkward," she finally admitted at his suspicious gaze. "Maybe...maybe we just go with 'Belle' and 'Will' for now," she suggested finally.

"'Belle and Will' i' is," he confirmed leaning forward and kissing her cheek again. She left out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding in and smiled. Who would have thought that a topic like that would have made her stomach turn as it did? It was silly, she knew that it was. It was just a compliment, a term of endearment that lots of people used with people they hardly even knew! So was 'sweetheart' and 'darling'. Some day she would need to get over someone else calling her by those names…just not this morning, clearly. "So, wha' are we doing today?!"

She sighed and looked at the book laid out before her. "Rapunzel is at the library until this afternoon, then her parents are picking her up early. This morning I'm just cleaning and identifying some objects with magical properties in the store but…" she closed the book she was reading and glanced at the cover confirming her suspicion. "I think I left the book I need over at the library," she lamented. This one would be fine for a few of the objects she wanted to identify, but probably not for all of them. She'd found a few of the objects that she needed last night in the library and she must have left that book over there.

"You wait here, I'll go find it," she suggested.

"Nah, I'll go," he offered instead. "I'll find i' and then you can stay 'ere and keep reading."

"Thanks," she smiled gratefully, picking up her book and following him out into the main room. She told him the title of the book she needed and the last place that she remembered having it and then from her place at the counter she watched him cross the street to the library and sighed. She was lucky. Not as lucky as she'd once believed she was, but Will was a good man. He cared for her and she cared for him too…sometimes she even wished that she could care more for him than she did.

Work. She was supposed to be working. There was a small bauble in the back that she'd discovered working yesterday that clearly had magical abilities. The moment she'd touched it red smoke had filled the tiny glass ball. It didn't seem harmful but she wanted to make sure that she knew what it was before she put it on sale or sold it into innocent hands for that matter.

When she heard the door ring she smiled. It was awfully fast for Will to be back, but stranger things had been known to happen, like-

Stranger things were happening right now.

Nightmares were coming to life.

It wasn't Will that had come into the shop, but two familiar faces that made her stomach drop to the floor. Cruella and Ursula.

Instinct didn't tell her run, a week of preparing for just this scenario had made her ready to face it. She squared her jaw, held her ground, and found the nearest stashed potion, right beneath the counter just as she'd planned. She knew this was bound to happen sooner or later and she was thankful that she'd planned ahead.

"Try anything," she warned quickly retrieving her bottle, "and both of you will hop out of here as toads!"

"Well 'hello' to you too darling," Cruella sneered, giving her that same feeling that she had years ago on a cliff. Of the two of them, she was the unstable one, she just knew it.

"Nice place you got here," Ursula commented casually, "sure beats sweeping the castle." Her impression of the sea witch hadn't changed either in their time apart. Ursula wasn't like Cruella. She was unkind, there was no denying that, but her brand of wicked was different than her partners. Either way she didn't care to know why. This was not a casual conversation and she wanted them gone before Will got back. She wouldn't risk him walking in on them and getting hurt!

"Why are you here?" she asked the women. "Have you come to kidnap me again?!" she questioned, though she didn't see the point in kidnapping her. Killing her for the Gauntlet would have been a more likely scenario. Her fingers curled around the bottle in her hands tighter. They'd be frogs before that happened.

"Oh did we do that?" Cruella questioned sarcastically. "Oh they all blur together…no, we've come to offer our congratulations…in defeating the Dark One. Who'd have thought it, a simple chamber maid takes down the most powerful sorcerer in the land! You did…quite a number on him, darling."

Before they'd come into her store, there was a time that she believed the worst thing that they could ever do was kidnap her and kill her, now she knew she was wrong. This was worse. Their remark had caught her completely off guard and wasn't lost on her. Few in town really knew what had happened between her and Rumpelstiltskin, there were rumors of course but they were nothing more than stories, but these women knew! Maybe not what had happened exactly, but that wasn't what caught her attention...they knew what she didn't. They knew what became of him after and there was only one way that they could have known that. She should have told them to get out, to leave her this moment or else she'd call Emma or David…but she didn't. She couldn't. Her heart was aching. It was a familiar feeling, one she'd been denying but simply couldn't anymore. All this time, every moment she'd spent apart from him she'd wondered where he was and what he was doing. She'd resisted calling him and going after him, but she couldn't walk away again, not now. She needed to know.

"So you've…seen him?" she questioned looking the women over, angry at herself already for giving in. She couldn't help it! But she wished instantly that she had.

"Yes," Cruella drawled sympathetically. "He's a mess darling, a bum, just his old cowardly self." Her heart sank at her words and she dared herself not to blink so that she wouldn't reveal the tears settling in her eyes. A mess? A bum?

"It makes sense, really, why he was so terrified of losing his magic," Ursula continued, twisting the knife she had in her heart tighter with every word.

What had she done to him?!

"Tell me," Cruella whispered, "is there not a part of you reveling in all of this?!"

"No!" she insisted. Her stomach had turned at their words. In fact, she was pretty sure that she might be sick if they went on. Her legs were itching, dying to walk, run to the car, and peel across town to cross the line and find him now herself. Absolutely none of their words made her "revel". "I would never take comfort in his suffering!" she declared defensively. She wished she could say that she was nothing like these women, but knowing what had happened to him, where he was…she didn't know if she could say that.

The woman looked put off by her comment, surprised almost at her words and for a moment it was that sneer that Cruella had that shocked her back to reality. They were not to be toyed with. She shouldn't play into them. They'd come in here for a reason and right now it seemed like she was doing and feeling exactly what they wanted her to do and say. Who knew if they were even telling the truth? For all she knew he was fine and they were just here to torture her over the worst decision she'd ever made in the heat of the moment.

"Now," she went on, straightening her back and setting her hands on her hips as she once more located the little bottle she couldn't remember letting go of, "do you intend to buy something or did you just come here to be cruel?"

"Well," Cruella sighed stepping away from her and wandering around the store. She thought that she saw her toying with something but she couldn't remember anything in her hands. "As a matter of fact I was hoping you'd have a uh…hood ornament for my vehicle. Something with a little glitz!" she requested turning back to face her, with nothing in her hands. Maybe she'd been wrong.

"I'll check the inventory," she lied outright, not even bothering to go to the place that she knew there were a few in stock. She wouldn't sell anything to these women. Not a hood ornament, or the Gauntlet, and certainly not her tears. She just wouldn't do it.

Something moving caught her attention in her peripheral vision. Ursula, looking through the book that she'd been paging through. It wasn't particularly harmful, but nevertheless she reached out and knocked the papers away from her and closed the book with a slam just to make sure she understood how unwelcome the pair of them were in this place. "Leave," she finally insisted directly. "Now."

"Oh, it appears we've hit a nerve!" Ursula smirked looking her over with amusement.

"Leave now," she threatened, picking the small bottle up again, "or I'll turn you both into toads and have Henry keep you as pets."

"My, my Rumpelstiltskin was right...she has changed," Cruella sneered looking impressed and setting tears in her eyes again. Her stomach hurt. She felt as though the woman had just run her through with a sword and left her to bleed out right there in her own store. She wanted to yell, to scream to throw them out herself. But what Cruella had said…she may as well have put a spell to immobilize her over her.

"Let's go Ursula," she finally commented readjusting her coat. "We're done and I'm bored. Now, you will call me if you find that ornament, won't you darling?! Course you will, cheerio! Cheerio, darling!" she called over her shoulder as the women left the shop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record a week has passed since the last chapter. Why you ask? Two reasons. One, when they let Rumple into town he told them to blend in and make friends, hard to do if your just going to release your old buddy Mal the next night. So I let a little time pass for that to...well...let's face it, not happen. But then two...when they come back into town in 4x12 it's "six weeks later" by the time 4x17 rolls around we're at "nine weeks later" despite the fact that if we go day by day only about 5 days in. So I had to waste some time between now and then and there seemed two obvious places to do that. Here...and I guess we'll get to #2 soon enough.
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	24. A Close Call

The moment the bell chimed, letting her know that her sudden encounter with her former kidnappers was over, she felt herself break into hundreds of thousands of tiny glass shards.

She ached, she hurt everywhere, and she felt her body bend in two as she found herself sitting behind the counter, crying, just as she had weeks ago when Hook had informed her of what had gone on behind her back during their marriage. She was curled into a ball, rocking there, back and forth, running fingers through her hair and trying to piece herself together uselessly because the images those women had put into her mind simply wouldn't let her! She couldn't know peace now, not after hearing all that!

He was a mess. That was what Cruella had said. He was nothing but a cowardly bum. A beggar. Afraid of the world she'd left him in to be devoured in alone all because she acted rashly, in the heat of the moment, because she'd allowed herself to be a scorned women instead of a wife that...

Enough.

Enough was enough. She couldn't do this! She couldn't come into his shop day after day and go home night after night pretending like she was alright with what had happened! She couldn't take it anymore, she was going to put a stop to this right now. It was exactly what she should have done weeks ago! Maybe that was why it was all too easy for her to push herself up from the floor and dart into the back for her bag and pull out her car keys. She was leaving. Now. As soon as she got across the town line she was going to call him and find him and they'd start a life together outside of Storybrooke. And it wouldn't be perfect, they had a lot of issues they had to work through but they would get through them! And no matter what awaited them out in the strange world...it was certainly going to be better than whatever kind of life either of them had now or even before. She just had to…

Her phone started ringing before she could make it out the door. For a moment she dared to hope that it was fate intervening for her, that he had finally gotten the courage to call her himself and tell her something that would make all of this worth it, that she could say she was on her way and before nightfall she'd see his face again…but the screen told her that it was only Emma.

She was shaking. Her body was itching to go and leave all of this behind, her mind made her stop and answer the phone. "Emma?" she questioned, trying to sound like she wasn't falling apart. It wasn't easy with the tight throat or with the way the phone shook in her hand as she held it to her ear.

"Belle," she answered. "What happened in there?"

She shook her head, wondering if she'd missed something because she suddenly felt like she was coming into the middle of the conversation. What was Emma talking about? Could she hear her heart breaking? "What?" she questioned.

"Ursula and Cruella," Emma clarified. "We know they were in the shop, what happened?"

She wished she could tell her something had happened. At the moment she wished that she could tell her they'd left her for dead because what they'd done was so much worse than that. But she just couldn't. And she needed to leave right now. She needed to hang up, lock the door, get into her car, and go! But she didn't. "Nothing," she breathed, "nothing, they just…they just stopped by to ask about a hood ornament and left. Nothing happened." At least nothing that Emma needed to know about.

"You're sure," Emma questioned. "They didn't take anything or hurt you?"

"Not physically, no," she muttered under her breath.

There was silence on the other end for a moment before she heard Emma blanch at what she'd murmured. "Are you alright, do you need help? I can send Mary Margaret over to-"

"No! No, I'm fine I just…" she needed to leave Storybrooke now and she couldn't let anyone stop her. Why couldn't she get her legs to move?! "They didn't take anything, they were with me the entire time."

"You're sure?" Emma questioned again making her tap her toe nervously because she just didn't have time for this!

"Positive," she insisted, "they never left my sight!"

"Hang on for a second," she rolled her eyes as she listened to muffled conversation in the background. David. He was with her, talking to her. This was ridiculous. She didn't have time to 'hang on' for a second! There wasn't time for her to-

"David says you should look around. There's more than two hands to worry about on one of them. She's the sea queen for a reason and she's got-"

"Tentacles…" she breathed, remembering that little trait. And now that she thought about it...Ursula hadn't said much of anything. Cruella had run the coversation. It hadn't been that way last time, in the cliffs. Why the sudden shift in their personalities? The only reason could be if…if Cruella had been trying to distract her…because Ursula was busy. "Hang on!"

She wanted Emma to be right, she needed her to be right about this because if she was right then it was easier to believe that her husband was fine, and safe, and maybe even happy out there on his own. If they'd been trying to distract her and throw her off balance that would have been the easiest way to do it and it had worked...at least she thought that it had worked. Had it?

If they'd taken something it wouldn't have been from the front room. Nothing had been moved or touched that she could see and she'd been standing right there the entire time! She would have seen it. It had to be something that she couldn't see. That left the back room. And while she thought that she would have seen something move to go back there…she needed to believe that they'd done a decent enough job distracting her so that she wouldn't have.

She stepped into the back room and looked around. It was still messy as ever to the untrained eye. But to her…everything looked normal. Perfectly in place. The table, the cot, the shelves…

The shelves…

Everything was not perfectly in place.

There was a hole on one of the shelves...or at least there was a section of free space that should not have been there. In this place shelf space was hard to come by, she'd never leave a great chunk of it free like that! And…

She ran forward to examine the space closer, to put her fingers over the wood and found dust. And the clear outline of a rectangle. Something had been sitting there. Something that was now gone. So what was it?! What had they taken?

"Emma?" she questioned putting the phone to her ear again. "Are you still there?"

"Yeah, what'd you find?"

"You were right," she confirmed, moving back out into the shop and reaching for the box she kept the inventory cards in. She couldn't know the shop perfectly enough to know what it was on sight but she knew how to find out! "They took something, out of the back room. I didn't see them do it, I never would have noticed if you hadn't called!"

"Belle, it's alright just…tell us what they took."

"I'm looking." Her fingers fumbled over card after card, looking and checking everything with a rectangular base…until she didn't need to look anymore. The card had a picture with it and she knew the moment that she had it in her hands that was what belonged there. "It's a box," she told Emma, quickly reading over the small description. "Small, simple, practically worthless…I don't know why they'd want it."

"Was there anything important inside of it?"

She read over the contents of the card again but it was useless. It didn't say if anything was inside of it but then again...it certainly didn't say that nothing was inside of it. And in this place...there could have been anything in that box! "I'm not sure," she answered. "I've never opened it and…there is nothing listed in the inventory but that doesn't rule it out completely."

"Okay, can you keep looking around, see if anything else comes to mind and call us if you find something?"

Her nerves rattled. Keep looking around. Stay here? There in Storybrooke. That was what Emma was really asking her. Could she stay there? Everything inside of her screamed that she couldn't, that she shouldn't, that she should be out there right now, preparing to leave Storybrooke and these kind of problems forever!

But if the evil women had lied…if they were here to harm someone as they had her or cause more trouble, if they had never really seen Rumpelstiltskin and she left for nothing…which would she regret more. She didn't know. But she did know that once upon a time he'd made a selfish choice that had hurt her so badly her soul still wasn't done bleeding. She couldn't risk the safety of innocent people to go after a monster like that. As much as she hated to do the same thing to him, for the good of everyone, she had to continue to stay away.

With a sigh she set her bag down on the counter and put her keys away. "Yes," she answered, "I'll keep looking."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted this chapter to illustrate the "either/or" situation that she finds herself in. Does she let her heart run her life? Or her head? I think that she thinks she has spent too much time letting her heart run her world and all she's gotten in return in misery. She's determined to let her head do the thinking/talking for now in an effort to protect herself, but this shows that her heart is bubbling just below the surface. What does her heart want to do? Her heart wants to go to him, to pick him up and work on their relationship despite it's problems. Her head won't let her. It just goes to show that our Belle is still there, only wounded. She's only going to come out of hiding when provoked, as she was here.
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	25. Telling the Truth

Will came back not long after she'd hung up with Emma. The book that she'd requested was in his hand and he was smiling with pride at his completed mission but the moment he saw her face that smile vanished.

"Wha' 'appened?" he demanded.

"Nothing," she answered. "It's just…nothing." She was lying. Worse, he knew she was lying, but he didn't say anything about it. It was quite clear to both of them that something had happened but for some reason or other they both ignored whatever "it" was and let the silence grow between them through the morning. She was relieved when he left to grab lunch at Granny's...and she was guilty too. Definitely guilty. She was lying, but unlike that day he'd called her at the beach to tell her the witches were in town, this time she knew exactly what she was keeping from him.

She liked Will, she cared for him, he was a wonderful, good man and any woman should be lucky to have him as a friend or even the something more that she sometimes wondered if they were becoming. And yet she'd nearly walked off on him today without a word…

This morning, only a few hours ago, he hadn't even crossed her mind as she'd gathered her things up to go. She'd had the sense to get her bag, to lock the shops door, to think through her plan, and yet not once in her planning did she think to call the person who was going to stop by at any minute wondering where she was. The only thing, the only person that she'd cared for in that moment was the person that had treated her that very same way time and time again; as a secondary priority instead of the primary one. And even now, the fact that she still felt torn, that part of her screamed at her to go out and find him, to see what his life was like now with her own two eyes, instead of stay and have lunch with Will…that only made her guilt that much worse.

They kept quiet through lunch, both pretending to be looking for the ball she'd shown to him until Emma stopped by.

"Hey, did you find anything?" she asked.

Her stomach dropped. There was no way that she could keep Will from hearing that and it wasn't possible to go outside and talk to Emma alone without being suspicious. This was why she hated lying. One way or another, she always felt like they came back to haunt her.

"No," she answered honestly. "Nothing. Did you? Find anything, I mean."

"No, so, listen, I was hoping to grab any security tapes from the shop and go over them, see if we missed anything."

She ignored the thought of Will behind her and shook her head. It was a good plan, except for one small fact. "There are no tapes."

"Really?" she questioned suddenly picking her had up and looking around. "I've seen the pictures from one, just…there…" Emma's voice trailed off as she stared at something dumbfounded. She followed the girls gaze and located a spot on the wall that was empty now but had obviously once contained something as she could see the former outline of something in the wood and holes were the screws had been. Her heart felt heavy because she knew immediately that Emma was right only she couldn't ever remember anything being there. Which could only mean he'd removed them and she had a feeling she knew why. It wasn't because he didn't need the extra security, it was so no one would catch him doing something questionable in his shop. Probably they had gone not long after he got his memories back and after what Hook had told her, with the security camera from the old man's house…his paranoia might have been well founded.

"Well...they're not there anymore..."

"Obviously…alright…there's…there're other cameras on this street, I'll do some sleuthing. Call me if you find anything?" she questioned with her eye brows raised. She nodded and watched her go, dreading the moment she turned around to face…

"Are you going to keep tellin' me nothing 'appened?" he questioned gently behind her.

She sighed as she finally met his eyes. "I just...wanted to protect you?"

"By keeping secrets?" he questioned. "You and I both know 'ow tha' always turns ou' in the end." He was right, only he wasn't. Keeping secrets were never good but that wasn't what she'd been trying to protect him from. It was her. "I can protect meself jus' fine, Belle...tell me wha' 'appened!" She wanted so badly not to tell him. She wanted to keep what had nearly happened this afternoon to herself so that she never hurt him the same way that she'd been hurt. But that was a ridiculous notion now. No matter what she said or didn't say from this point on he was going to hurt. The least she could do was give him the truth she so often had longed for herself.

So with a sad sigh, she took Will's hand, led him into the back room and sat with him on the cot as she explained. Everything. She let every detail she'd been holding back about those witches slip away. What happened in the Enchanted Forest, how he'd freed her and lied to her even then. She told him about how scared she'd been the first moment that he told her they were back in town and why she suspected they were here. And she told him what had happened this morning. Every last detail from their arrival, what they'd said to her about Rumpelstiltskin and how she'd made them leave. She told him what she'd been about to do, how she'd been prepared to take off that moment to find him and leave everything behind. Then she'd told her about how Emma had called and stopped her, about what she'd found had gone missing, and why she was looking for the security tapes and at the end of it all he sat there listening. Elbows on his knees, head bowed in concentration, as if her tale involved work. Maybe it did. She didn't know, maybe it did require concentration. It felt like a lot even from her end.

"You still wan' to go, don' you," he finally commented next to her.

Honestly? "I don't know," she admitted.

"Sure ya do," he answered for her, "you jus' don' wan' to believe i'." Finally he turned to look at her and she saw that painful smirk that she was beginning to recognize as familiar pain. It was surprising just how easily she forgot how much of this he understood. "You don' think I know wha' i' feels like? To have one foo' ou' the door? Ready to go 'ome at the though' of a bad dream or memory."

"This wasn't a dream," she argued. "Or a memory it was…"

"Torture," he finished for her. "Clever words, chosen to make you fall! There's no use believin' any of i' is true!"

"But what if it is?!" she demanded. "What if it is true and he's out there right now?! Waiting for me?!"

Will was quiet for a few moments, then sat back in his seat and looked over at her. "Maybe it's better tha' way," he finally answered in a sad, soft voice. "It's better not to know if it's true. Wha' good will come from knowin' one way or another?" he finally concluded.

She supposed...maybe...maybe he had a point.

If she rushed off to find him…it would be settling. She'd spend every moment of every day looking over her shoulder, wondering what he was doing when her back was turned!

And if she wandered off and found him and he was doing fine while she wasn't…

He was right. No good could come from going.

She didn't know what she had here in Storybrooke, the future that he'd left her to have, deep down she knew that it would never be as perfect as the one she'd imagine that they had but for now…it was the best thing for her. And Will…she needed him in ways that she couldn't even begin to describe. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," she muttered reaching over and putting her hand in his own.

"Eh, don' worry about i'…wha' matters is tha' you did!" he responded almost too cheerfully, making her ache even more. He was a good man. He didn't deserve this from her.

"I just…it's hard…to move on, to have someone in my life that's not Rumpelstiltskin. He's the only man I've ever…the only one I've ever…" she just couldn't finish that sentence. She couldn't think of a way to finish it that wouldn't sound offensive. She didn't mean to-

"I' takes time," he answered for her, giving her hand a small squeeze. "I should know."

Of course he knew. He'd been at it longer than she had.

"Thank you for understanding," she muttered instead, the one thing that she couldn't lie about because she was truly grateful for that.

"Any time," he smiled back. "Though I wish you 'ad told me abou' the witches sooner," he admitted. "You shouldn' 'ave been alone all this time, waiting for them to come and kill you."

She shook her head and finally rose. "I've been fine. Safe. I took precautions and today…they worked."

"I get i'," he responded following her out into the main shop as she searched for something to do with her hands. There, over by the window, some trinkets that she'd been meaning to rearrange…or maybe had just thought to rearrange now…it didn't matter. "Jus'…don' keep things like tha' to yourself. It's no' worth i'. If you don' wan' to tell me then tell Mary Margaret, or Emma, or Granny, or…someone."

She nodded at his request. It was nice of him. He was so determined for her to be safe that he was willing to not be the number one in her life. He was willing to become number two if that meant she'd be safe. And that meant a lot more to her than anything else today. Finally after hours of tears and frowns a smile broke out over her face. She was lucky to have Will in her life as…whatever it was he was. She should show it a little more.

"From now on I'll tell you if something happens," she vowed. "I promise." He let out a snort across the room. And she glanced over to find him smirking. "What?" she questioned.

"Nothing. It's jus'…I believe you. And honesty…that's jus' new for me I suppose. For both of us," he muttered taking a few steps forward. She smiled at how happy he was to have something that simple. She beamed at the thought that something as wholesome as an honest word made him happy. It made her happy too. And maybe…that was another sign that she was beginning to move on.

Moving on.

In the spirit of moving on she gave it her best shot. She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. It was simple, not over involved or too deep. It was just a hint, a small step in the right direction before he suggested that they go take a walk by the beach and forget everything that had happened today.

Forget.

It sounded nice, but on the inside her stomach turned over at the thought. Forget. Everything? Forget the way she'd ached, forget the way she'd hurt, forget the strange feeling of excitement she'd had under the fear of seeing him again? Forgetting sounded good, deep down she just wasn't sure if she was ready to forget. And she knew that she should tell Will as she collected her things from the back. He would understand. They were so alike, so similar…but she couldn't help but wonder if she'd ever really be able to tell him the entire truth as she'd promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously this is the kiss Rumple saw. I want to really illustrate not just their similarities but also their differences here. I think they are really both thinking with their heads and not their hearts right now because if they acted on what their hearts old them they would both stop this and go back to their True Loves. Instead they tell each other that they understand each other and that their relationship should be super simple because of it. But the truth is that they don't feel anything for one another, at least nothing deep anyway. Their relationship is good on the surface but ironically enough it's only skin deep for both of them. They know it, I think they think it's actually good. This way their won't get hurt! 
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	26. Adopted Hereditary Traits

So things were…official now, she supposed. She had no idea what that was supposed to mean but that night as they'd walked along the beach and talked Will had confessed an idea he'd had, one that had apparently been dogging him for a while now. "Lately I've been thinking…abou' the whole movin' on thing. And I was thinking…I like you. And I know tha' sounds pathetic and childish but...I do. You're…smar', and…funny…you keep up with me which is more than I can say abou' everyone else in this town. So…I was thinkin' maybe…the two of us…maybe we could try 'movin' on' together."

That speech had stunned her then and she'd felt a blush rise up her neck and into her cheeks. "I thought that's what we were doing."

"Is i'?" he questioned.

"Isn't it?" she spat back.

"I dunno. No' like I've done i' with alotta girls. I' jus' seems tha' wha' ever this is…with the pair of us…wha' ever i' is only exists behind closed doors and…I'd like i' no' to."

Not to exist behind closed doors. She knew what he was talking about. They'd shared kisses. They'd held hands. They'd gone to dinner and done everything that normal people did when they dated but…they always did it in private, alone. Even then walking on the beach she'd been suddenly aware of the two feet that she'd placed between the two of them, silly considering she'd kissed him only minutes ago in the shop.

Moving on. Offically moving on. In front of everyone. In front of Granny and David and Mary Margaret. And Henry. She'd felt flushed, nervous, maybe even a little scared. She liked Will. Truly she did. She liked their relationship and the fact that is was "behind closed doors", but if was out in the open…

It would be a good thing. If she began a relationship, if the entire town could see her with someone else, someone besides the Dark One…maybe they'd all stop looking at her like she was broken or diseased. They'd see then, they'd see that she was moving on, that they didn't have to worry about her or talk behind her back. She was fine. She was moving on with her life. And in celebration of that small fact she'd stood on tip toe, kissed Will Scarlet openly on the cheek, and took his hand as they finished the rest of their walk.

It was done. And now, this morning, and every morning since then, fresh faced and wide eyed…she honestly didn't know why those actions were haunting her this much. She should have been able to focus, she needed to focus, on a stunning new turn of events that had taken place, oddly enough, from what she could figure out, that very night!

Maleficent.

Honestly, she should have thought of her long before Emma and Hook came into her shop the next morning to ask her for her help! When they'd given her the startling news...she didn't know what to feel, it was all too confusing.

Maleficent was dead.

Or at least she had been. And maybe she still was?

According to Emma, the reason that Rumple had never wanted her to use the elevator to go below her library was because Maleficent had been trapped there ever since the curse. But not as the woman that she remembered her as. "Maleficents back?! What do you mean back?! Was she ever really gone?!"

"Yeah...I slayed her a couple of years ago but the spell Regina put over her means that she didn't die, she was just...I don't really know how to describe it. I wasn't really there," she muttered glancing back at Hook.

"I've seen strange things in my time...she tops the list," Killian added.

Dead but not dead. Stranger than what Killian had ever seen in their world...on the high seas...that should have been a shocker all on it's own and yet it wasn't that particular phrase that seemed to jump out at her from their conversation. "Wait...you...you 'slayed' her?"

"Yeah," Emma nodded. "She was trapped in dragon form. Isn't that what you do in your world? 'Slay' dragons? Rescue the damsel? All that?"

Dragon. Maleficent was a dragon. Or she could change into a dragon. A shapeshifter? But not a shapeshifter like Ruby...

"Any way," Emma went on in her silence, "doesn't matter now because she's back and we need your help." In the form of a dragon. Emma told her that she'd killed Maleficent long ago, back before everyone had their memories back and that should have been the end of it. But it wasn't. Nothing was ever that simple in this town. Whatever she had been or was it didn't matter now because that was no longer all that she was. Now she was something...more. Something new. And that was why they were here.

"She's back."

"Back?" she'd questioned. "Back like…from the dead. Hasn't she always been-"

"No," Emma interrupted, "back like no longer a rotting shell, up and walking around Storybrooke with Cruella and Ursula, who have conveniently gone missing from Granny's," she added off handedly. She felt speechless. Helpless to stare at the girl as she processes through impossible fact after impossible fact. Dead but not dead. Dragon. Alive but not alive. With Ursula and Cruella. Missing! How had all of this gone so badly in one night?!

"How-"

"That's why I need you. I need to know about her, everything you can find, what she is, where her magic comes from, anything you've got, but most important of all I need you to find me anything you can on a spell that might resurrect the dead or the half dead. Anything. If there is a way to reverse the spell or beat it…I need to know it."

Days ago she'd been too stunned to argue or ask questions when she was told. Instead she'd nodded, picked up her books, and gone back to doing what it was she did best. Research. Will still stopped by, Rapunzel still worked at the library, but she'd spent days pouring over these books and though she'd found references to Maleficent, she couldn't seem to find the spell Emma asked her to look for or anything remotely like it. In fact, what she'd found was nothing but writers saying it was impossible! So far she'd found nothing and it made coming into the back of the shop that morning and seeing the books stacked up on her table an almost painful sight but...when had "nothing" or "impossible" ever stopped her or prevented her from getting her answers. It was early. For all she knew any moment now she'd pull open the right book and find the-

The bell on the door surprised her this early in the morning and she put down the book she was reading to wander outside and figure out who was there, but not without a freezing potion in her hand. She wasn't stupid. It was too early for Will, Rapunzel was over at the library, which meant-

"Henry…" she sighed seeing the boy there at her door and pocketing the small vile. It was the weekend. How had she forgotten he'd be by? How had he grown so much over the last week?! Lately it seemed like every time she saw him he'd grown another foot taller. And that wasn't the only thing that was growing. "You brought donuts!" she observed, smiling at his growing appetite. He was a teenager in every way. He could eat a horse and yet he was still tall and gangly as ever. Odd and awkward as he was she wished his father could see it. She knew he'd wanted to.

"Yeah," Henry breathed with a smile looking at the bag in his hand. "I forgot to grab breakfast before I left the house. Got you one too."

"Henry, you shouldn't have," she scolded. She paid him because she didn't want him to work for free, but she also knew what she paid him and the last thing that he needed was to spend his hard earned money on her.

"Oh, I didn't…my mom did."

Oh, well...that certainly changed things. "That was nice of her, thank her for me the next time you see her..." she mumbled stepping forward and examining the bag as she felt her stomach turn over. Now that she thought of it, when was the last time she'd eaten?

"I will, but...she's been acting strange the last couple of days."

That caught her attention. Acting strange. Was that ever a good thing for either of his mothers? And now that she thought of it, which mother had bought this meal, which one were they speaking of?

"Which mother are you talking about?" she asked gently as he set his backpack down on the counter.

"Regina," he nodded. "I'm going to have to start calling them 'Mom One' and 'Mom Two', aren't I?"

She let out a snort at his joke though realized he was right. It would certainly make things a lot easier for almost everyone around him. But what else was he right about?

"Acting strange how?" she pressed further.

"I don't know she's just…different I guess. Not like when Robin left, I think she's finally beginning to move on a little, she's just…different." She believed him. If there was anything she'd learned about Henry it was that he was observant and though he could be quiet, he felt everything. If Emma's super power was sensing lies, then his would be sensing emotions. If something had changed with Regina then she believed that he'd sensed it.

"What does your mother think? Your other mother I mean."

"I…haven't told her about it yet," he admitted. "She's just been really busy with Cruella and Ursula in town and Grandma and Grandpa seem really distracted lately. You heard about Maleficent right?" She nodded. She'd heard. And she'd done everything possible since that day to figure out how it had happened! She had a feeling she knew who was responsible for that woman living and breathing again. She just wished that she could figure out how they'd done it so that they could undo it!

"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about," she assured Henry. "Emma will figure it out."

"That's what everyone tells me when they don't think I need to know something."

Clever boy. "Well…what about the book? Have you found anything yet?"

The story book. She'd heard all about it the last time that he was in because that seemed to be all that he did nowadays. She didn't mind. After all no one could keep this place clean the way that she could and she enjoyed having his company far more than his labor when she could get it. Besides, the extra time was paying off. A mystery that once seemed impossible was starting to seem possible with every new detail. It was only proof of just how brilliant he was!

When Blue had come out of the hat he and Regina had talked to her about the author. They'd been under the impression that the Author and the Sorcerer were the same person and believed she might know who it was. She didn't, but she'd provided one vital clue: they weren't the same person. She didn't know who either of them were but she knew that they were two different individuals with two different jobs. But sadly no one had seen the Author for a long time, he had somehow disappeared. That wasn't the end though she had provided one last piece of information. It wasn't set in stone, but there were rumors that the author had left clues to his disappearance in his book. Ever since that moment Henry had been busy searching the pages, looking for those clues. But she knew him. He needed another hint.

"Yeah actually!" he replied happily. Mom went to see Marco the other day, because we talked to Pinnochio to see if he remembered anything and things kinda got out of hand. When she apologized Marco gave her the things that belonged to August. Inside there was a piece of paper, one that had been taken out of the book. I'm pretty sure it means something I just need to figure out what!"

She opened her mouth to tell him he'd figure it out but her phone started ringing. It was Will, calling to check in. He did that a lot now that he knew about her history with the witches in town and she supposed that the rumors about Maleficent didn't help that either. "I'll be right back," she muttered, picking up his bag of food and quickly trotting into the back room to grab her phone. She'd been right, it was Will. And this would take no time at all, she really only needed a minute or two to assure Will she was fine and had survived another night. He wanted to tell her that he'd be by later tonight. He wanted to come in now but there was something among the merry men that he needed to help John take care of, afterwards he'd be by to look in on her. But of course, according to him, it wasn't nearly as important as her and if she needed him, no matter what, she should call and he'd be by.

"No, it's alright. It's the weekend so Henry's here," she reminded him as she found a couple of plates and put the pastries out for them.

He didn't argue with her reasoning and she liked that. Rumple would never have been alright with her logic that she was safe if Henry was there, in his mind only his protection would suffice. For Will Henry was enough and though she knew that he was still secretly worried, at least he trusted her judgement. She appreciated that...and hoped it didn't get her into trouble.

They parted with a promise to meet that night, probably after dinner unfortunately. But that was alright, Emma had given her a puzzle enough to keep her occupied and Henry…well he was already occupied, scanning a page of his book with a magnifying glass, looking so much like her husband it was almost scary. But she couldn't let him turn into Rumple. He would have forgotten to eat or sleep in his determination, that was one trait she wouldn't let grandfather and grandson share. So she brought his doughnut to him, trying to let him know she was off the phone and they could go back to their conversation when she realized the page that Henry was examining.

"Hey," she whispered looking it over. It was nothing but a simple wooden door, but the page itself wasn't like the others. It had clearly been taped back into the book. Obviously it had been removed at one time and the tape looked fresh which could only lead her to one conclusion. "Is uh…is that the page that August took out of the storybook?" she asked.

At the sound of her voice Henry nodded, then put the glass away and shifted to make room for her next to him to get a better look. So it was the page. But…she knew that Henry was just as smart as she was. Just because August had pulled it out of the book didn't mean anything. There could be any number of reasons why he'd done it. Which left really only one more question. Was it _the_ page?

"Did you find anything?" she pressed, not that there was really much to find. It was a door; nothing more and nothing less.

"I think…this door…somehow has something to do with the Author," he confirmed. "I just have to figure out where it is."

Well…whether or not it was the page that they needed it appeared that Henry believed it was. And if he believed it then she knew that sooner or later he was bound to discover the location of that door. He was like his grandfather in that way. When he was determined she knew that nothing would stop him. And sometimes she wasn't always sure that was going to be a good thing, but in this particular case…it was probably a good trait to have.

"You will," she assured him, hoping that one day he'd see just how similar he was to Neal, wishing that Neal could be there to see it and share it with him for himself. He couldn't be. And thanks to her, neither could his grandfather. But she'd had no choice in that matter. She'd kept her promise Neal, a promise for the greater good. Henry was safe. And now all that was left was to make sure he stayed that way. And make sure that he stayed well fed while he was researching, a flaw that she would have thought might have come from her too if she didn't know better.

"Here!" she smiled, shoving the doughnut into his hands. He took it with a small smile of gratitude and she gave him a small pat on the shoulder. Her mission accomplished, Henry well fed and properly occupied, she returned to the back room to finish her own task.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so there is a lot going on in this chapter but I wanted to point out that this is another place I added time into. Did you catch the "she's acting weird over the last few days" comment, "days" being the important word here. It was the only other place I could add time in order to allow us to get to the "nine week" period because after this things happen day by day. I did check the scene, Regina is wearing different clothes from when she met Mary Margaret to when she goes to the diner to meet Mal and the others. She's also a mother, so it makes sense to me that before she goes undercover she would want to get her affairs in order, make sure Henry is taken care of "just in case". Someone did point out in the last time jump that they thought it was possible to be six weeks from when Rumple arrives in NYC and then nine weeks when he gets into Storybrooke. It's a good thought and one I would have been happy to go with because I think placing as much time between A and B makes things more sensible, but it's debunked. Not only have A&E repeatedly said that 4B picks up six weeks later, Hook also stated it in 4x12. When he's talking about the fairies he says that it's been six weeks and they still have nothing. Good thoughts, though. I'd have preferred that version!
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	27. Mutual Understanding

"Evenin'," Will whispered sauntering up to her and kissing her on the cheek. She smiled at the greeting. He meant for it to be a surprise but in this library nothing could ever be a surprise. She knew what every creak of the floor and squeak of the door meant. And she knew the way that Will walked, the sound that his footsteps made as he moved from place to place. There was never any mystery as to who could have been in her library this late at night. It had to be Will.

"Did everything go alright?" she muttered back.

"Yeah!" he responded with a little shuffle. "You would never guess 'ow picky a bunch of men livin' ou' in the wilderness can be. ''e stole me knife!', 'we need fresh water', 'fire's no' too warm'...bu' 'ere!" He dropped the familiar bag that she'd come to expect from him on the counter next to her. "A souvenir. It's your favorite."

She glanced away from the book that she had been studying and peered into the bag. Venison…again. It was good. She wasn't to the point of saying that it was her all time favorite but of everything that he'd ever brought from the campsite...she didn't hate it, the problem was that he'd brought venison to her four times already this week. It wasn't as if she even ate a lot normally, this was just too much and frankly...she'd kill for a hamburger at the moment. But she couldn't bear to tell him any of this, it was the thought that counted most of all to her and she was grateful for it at least. Venison or not.

"I'm sorry," she frowned. "I already ate, but…I'll take it home with me tonight, thank you."

"Nothin' to worry abou'. I knew i' was late when I came over 'ere. So…any luck with wha' brough' your resident dragon back from the dead?" he asked jumping up onto a table to sit.

She sighed and looked around the library, at all the books that were strewn around her back room because she hadn't put them back yet. "No, but…that shouldn't surprise me," she admitted. "I don't know what raised Maleficent from the grave but I know that whatever it was the magic was far from light! I've had this problem before, the magic in these books, even the dark magic they contain, is far too tame for what we're dealing with. I'll have to check the books at home...I suppose that's why I keep them." It had to be the reason why. She'd promised long ago she'd give them to Regina only she never had and keeping them for research purposes made sense to why she hadn't done that yet. However why she hadn't gotten rid of the other boxes, the ones containing his clothes and knick knacks, she didn't know why she hadn't-

"Books at 'ome?" Will questioned, startling her back to reality and reminding her to began putting these away so she could go home.

"Yeah…Rumple, he…he had a special place in the house for his magic. Dark magic. I've used the books before to help me figure out things like that."

"Tha' sounds dangerous to me."

The tone of his voice, the sudden dismissal of his humorous demeanor made her spin around to look at him. Normally Will was one of the most easy-going people she knew, always funny, always happy…but it looked like the light had died in his eyes. She knew why. "You and I both know it is," she admitted sadly. "But…I've done it before and of all the people in this town I would think that I'd be the least likely person to ever fall prey to Dark Magic like that…"

Will looked her up and down for a moment, regarding her in a strange serious way that he never had before. It was almost judgmental. "We already 'ave," he responded sourly. She felt herself take a small step away from him and cross her arms over her chest. Maybe she'd told him too much in the last couple of months, because with that one look, those words, she suddenly felt naked and vulnerable. She didn't like it. "I don' suppose I could say anything to make you change ya mind? To no' do this? To le' Emma to find her own way withou' using dark magic?"

She felt the corner of her mouth lift and let out a snort. Rumpelstiltskin had always hated her willingness too. Or maybe then it was just her goodness. Maybe it was no wonder they'd repelled from one another. And besides when had anyone ever telling her not to do something worked? "You know uh…it's usually when people tell me not to do something that I run off and do it."

She'd meant to make a joke, something to lighten the mood and change the subject. But the moment she said it Will's head snapped up and his eyes went wide. "Don' do tha'!" he spat pushing himself off the table and taking great strides over to her. She felt herself take a step away from him her stomach twisting at the sudden rage he'd never shown her before. "Don' say tha'! Don' ever say tha'!"

"Will," she breathed pushing against his chest. "Stop! I…I don't understand."

He seized her by the arms, his grip tight and almost brutal. "Anastasia used to say tha'! She used to say something exactly like tha'! And every time I asked 'er no' to do something, she said she wouldn' bu' she…she always…"

Pain never ended. She understood that now. A few simple sentences and she felt like she understood far more than all their weeks together had taught her. His pain...he'd been good at hiding it or maybe he'd just been doing it longer and had the practice, but she understood now. Just like she'd been known to feel sadness creep in when Henry did something that reminded her of Rumpelstiltskin…she'd just reminded him of Anastasia. But not it a good way, not one of her finer qualities. It was something that scared him, something that he'd hated and felt betrayed by. And it hurt. It obviously and brutally hurt.

The grip Will had on her arms suddenly eased, his shoulders slumped forward, and he hung his head taking a step away from her. "I'm sorry..." he burst out. "I didn' mean to…I'm sorry."

"Hey…" she muttered stepping forward. He'd stood with her through a lot since Rumpelstiltskin had left. Did he really expect her to just abandon him when his wounds bled again? Especially when she was the cause? "Hey," she cooed reaching up to touch his cheek and force him to meet his eyes. "It's alright. I understand." He reached up and placed his hand over hers, tightening his grip and looking at her in that one way that Rumple couldn't…mutual understanding.

"I won't tell you that I'm not going to do it," she informed him. "I won't lie to you and I promise you that you'll never have to worry that I will. But you can trust me when I say that I'll be careful, that the chances of me ever practicing dark magic are so slim they are non-existent because you're right…we both have already fallen prey to it. We both remember what it feels like to be hurt by it. And I promise you…you have nothing to worry about."

She saw Will take a hard swallow as he looked at her and nodded. "I know I jus'…"

"Just what?"

"After everything that 'appened with Penelope and my family, then Anastasia…sometimes I feel like I can' stop losing the good things in my life...the people I care for. It's like I'm cursed to always curse others."

"No! No, you're not cursed-"

"I know tha'. I' jus' feels like…i' feels like nothing can ever go righ' for me."

She knew that feeling as well. She knew it all too well. "Will…" she reached out and held his hand in her own. "This is right. This is good, we're...we're good for each other. As long as we believe that we'll make it so! Nothing bad will happen-"

"Bu' wha' if i' does?"

"Will!" she reprimanded sternly. "Nothing bad will happen. Trust me."

Finally he nodded and with her stomach already twisted into knots she reached up and kissed him. She wished with her whole heart that she could have said that kiss felt right...that it felt as good and spontaneous as the others she'd had in the past, that the face she looked up into afterwards looked healed or eased in some way, but looking at him afterwards she knew that he wished he could say it as well. Was it possible that what made this relationship right for both of them was that it felt wrong? Not bad. Just wrong. Like a glove that didn't fit, something that did the job but had to be constantly readjusted to work the way it should?

"I'm sorry I lost me temper," he apologized softly.

She smiled. An apology like that never would have come out of the mouth of Rumpelstiltskin. An apology for hurting her, he would have done that in a heartbeat! But apologize for losing his temper, he'd never have done that in a million years. At least not sincerely.

"It's alright," she smiled, trying not to let the sudden unexplainable tears she felt swelling in her eyes make their way to the surface. "I'm sorry that I'm stubborn sometimes."

"Nah…you're jus'...doing wha' you do best...plain and simple." He was trying to be funny. He was trying laugh it off as if it was nothing but he couldn't wear a mask the same way her husband could. She saw clear as day the shock that lay beyond his words.

"You know…Granny's makes an excellent cure for lost tempers. Would you like to try it? My treat..."

He looked surprised at her for a moment, his eyes widening because they'd never done anything like be seen out together in public before, at least not a place as open and public as Granny's, a place where people would see them and talk…but if they were going to do this, as they'd both sworn to that night on the beach, they may as well do it. So she extended her hand to him and after a few moments he took it. "Don' mind if I do," he muttered, though she was grateful that they didn't lace their fingers together as she might have with Rumple. Instead they just let their palms rest together, joined in perfect understanding of the pain they both knew too well and walked on to face an uncertain future.


	28. Frightening Possibilities

People were surprised to see them together holding hands, there was no doubt about it. From the moment that they stepped into Granny's every eye was on them, even Granny herself looked over her glasses at the pair of them. They stared. Some judgmentally. Some with curiosity. One woman she didn't know gave her a nod and a small smile, an action that she could only assume meant that she approved, but she frankly didn't care if the stranger did or not. What mattered was that she approved. And Will…

At first she felt his fingers slacken around her hand, silent permission that they didn't have to do this and could stop at any time, but she only squeezed his hand tighter determined to get this over with. It was already done. And the only way they were ever going to truly convince themselves that this was a good thing was if they acted like it was a good thing. If they didn't hide and finally embraced it. "Any where?" she boldly asked Granny in the awkward silence she'd only ever experienced in this diner when little Neal got his name.

But her words seemed to break the ice. The looks continued but they were only sideways glances now, conversations broke out again in a gentle hum, though she was sure most of them were about her, and Granny shrugged before looking back down at the paper receipts in her hands. "You know the drill," she confirmed. "I'll be with you in a minute." So she made the first move and practically dragged Will by the hand over to the back booth and made sure he sat with his back to the crowd.

"Why are we 'ere again?" he breathed as he sat down. He was uncomfortable. Frankly, she was too but he showed it more. It was in the way he was fidgeting and the way his face hadn't lost that sad look that she'd put on it in the library. This would be fine. This would take his mind off Anastasia. She owed him that much.

"You'll see," she smiled. When Granny finally got around to them she was cryptic, not wanting to ruin the surprise that she had in mind. "That thing that you used to bring me when I was down," she hinted at. "After I'd finished eating I always took it home…"

Finally Granny nodded and gave a quick "Comin' right up" before backing away and returning again only moments later with a piece of double chocolate cake with two forks on a single plate. She beamed at the woman, then at the dessert, proud of her ingenious as she set the table for the pair of them. This would be fine, it was a good first time out in public together. If only Will didn't look like someone had just told him that his Grandmother had died. Or worse…like Anastasia had just ripped out his heart again.

"You have to try some of this cake," she encouraged, trying her best to force his mind away from the subject. "It's delicious!"

But still he didn't budge and she wondered if she had ever been this stubborn as he'd tried to help her. She knew it wouldn't get rid of all his troubles, of the way that she'd reminded him of his own true love, out there somewhere without him…but he had to at least try to let it take his mind off the subject. She knew, that if he tried, it would work. If only he could-

Suddenly Will was shoved roughly aside, making her give a jump back of surprise at the unexpected visitor they had. It was Hook-Killian. Sitting in the booth opposite her, next to Will. "Well, look at which two survivors found a dinghy together," he whispered menacingly under his breath, before turning to look at Will. No, not look…glare at him. It wasn't friendly in the least. It gave her chills. But Will…no, he wasn't handling it as well as she would have thought. He didn't look happy about this either. In fact, he had gone back to looking hurt, or maybe it was fear…anger? It wasn't the look of two men who had never met before! She was confused. Will knew about Hook, about what she'd been doing with him, he never seemed to mind before! Though…he'd never stuck around for it. In fact he'd always told her there was a good reason why he never stuck around. She'd never wondered about that reason…until now. That hadn't been true had it? It was just a joke! Right?

"I do hope I'm not interrupting," Killian said, quickly turning toward her and acting normal again, at least when he faced her, just like that! It had happened so fast she felt like she might get whiplash. Was he just putting on a show for Will? Trying to tease him?

"Uh…" she froze for a moment, she honestly didn't know how to react and couldn't begin to fathom what to say to the pirate especially about all of this. But she was here, with Will in public. The way news traveled in this town the whole city would learn about it by morning, maybe even before the sun rose. Frankly she was surprised Killian looked as startled as he did. Hadn't Mary Margaret or Emma told him that they'd seen the pair of them together, in the shop, in the library? Did it matter? She was determined to move forward with her life and she couldn't keep this new…thing with Will under wraps anymore. That was why she'd taken a step to bring him here, wasn't it?

"Killian…this is…this is Will," she finally introduced. But instead of being helpful Will just continued to stare at Killian Jones. "Have the two of you met?" she inquired looking between the two of them and suddenly wishing that she'd rethought the idea of taking the pair of them out in the open public for anyone to see. If she'd known this was how they'd be received or that Killian would do this…she'd have found another way to distract Will.

Finally Will, took his eyes off of Killian to look over at her but she could see a fire in them that she hadn't seen before and she knew the answer that he was going to give before he gave it. "That we 'ave, yeah," he whispered with a false smile.

"Ah-"

"Now before you give into your pugilistic urges let's take this outside away from the lady, shall we?" Will went on before she could question their relationship further. It was alright, now it was something else that she wanted to know because the venom in his voice made one thing abundantly clear to her. The reason that Will had stayed away from Killian all the time that they'd worked together hadn't been a joke.

"And you clearly don't get along," she observed. But neither of them were listening to her. They were too focused on themselves leaving her somehow feeling like a third wheel on her own date. A lot of good this idea had done her in the end.

"As much as I'd enjoy bloodying you again…" Hook sneered, "I'm here for Belle," he concluded turning to look at her as she knew him. Again! The way he could shift from one expression to another…she didn't know that he could do that. It was eerie. The only one that she'd ever known to do that well was Rumpelstiltskin. "We need to talk. In private."

Her heart raced. Words like that in a tone like that were never good. She wanted so badly to say "no" that she was enjoying her date and needed to ignore him…but when he reached forward and put his hand over her own as he muttered "it's important, Belle" she just couldn't say that "no".

"Can you give me one moment?" she muttered already moving out of the booth. Will nodded but looked Hook over suspiciously. He trusted her. He didn't trust Hook.

"Don't worry Knave," Killian muttered behind her. "She'll be safe with me." Without discussing it she and Killian receded into one of the back rooms of the diner, the kitchen, already closed for the night the pair made themselves at home as she turned and questioned what had happened.

"Well, by now I'm sure you've heard the news," he explained. "The dragon lives." She was taken back by his remark, confused by it only not for the reason that he thought she was.

"Maleficent?" she clarified. "Of course I know you were with Emma when she came to tell me and asked me to start trying to figure out how it had happened a few days ago."

"I was?" he questioned and for a moment she felt a thread of fear make it's way up her body because something didn't feel right about it…until he closed his eyes and sighed in frustration. "You're right, I was. My apologies. We made a several stops that day, together and apart...after a while they all blend together I'm afraid."

Right. That seemed...reasonable...she supposed. But that still didn't explain why he was here now. "So…what about it? If Emma's looking for the spell I still haven't found it yet-"

"No, it's not that…Emma doesn't know I'm here actually…the truth is I wanted to come to help you."

"Help me? Help me how?"

"I'm afraid the dagger is in danger."

She felt her stomach drop into the pit of her stomach as she listened to those words. Of all the things he could have said…she hadn't imagined that.

"The dagger…but…but why?! What-"

"Regina is working with them now," he interrupted. "The witches, she's working with them and they're doing some sort of initiation tonight, to see if they trust her. It's a test, they're worried she isn't one of them and this will somehow prove it."

Her mouth was open. She knew that it had been since he'd interrupted because it all made so much sense and yet none at all! The way that Henry had said she was distant and now this! But…it wasn't true was it?! Hook was right she was just spying on them wasn't she?! She hadn't actually gone back to…the Evil Queen. "But...but she hasn't has she? I mean if she had…you wouldn't know all this, right? She's...she's feeding them false information, relaying it or…something? Isn't she?"

Killian was quiet, looking her over skeptically before giving an unnatural shrug. "Well, with Regina it seems impossible to ever really know for certain." That was true she supposed. She went back and forth so often she never truly seemed to be entirely good or bad. It certainly complicated things and put a chill in her bones. She didn't want to think about Regina being evil again after all that she'd accomplished. It was too sad to fathom. "But that's all irrelevant at the moment," Killian went on. "All you need to know is that they are testing her tonight. They've asked her to steal something."

She shook her head, baffled by not just this knowledge but his knowledge of it. It had to be a ruse. Regina was only pretending. There was no other way they'd know all this unless she'd told Emma, only…suddenly she understood where Hook's concern was coming from. "And no one knows what these three witches want Regina to help them steal?" she clarified looking Killian over.

"Not for sure," he answered. "But they're powerful witches, seeking more power and who is more powerful than the Dark One? His dagger…it's still in town isn't it?"

"You think they're after it," she blanched, reeling from the possibilities.

"What better way to find the Author than getting the Dark One to do it for you?" he reasoned. It was a good argument, but not a firm one. There was one major flaw in his reasoning.

"But how?" she asked shaking her head. "Isn't it useless as long as he's outside of Storybrooke?" That seemed to stump him for a moment and put her own mind at ease. All this worrying, it was for nothing. Wasn't it?

"Unless they found a way to lure him back," Killian suggested.

That was a terrifying thought. In more ways than she knew. Beyond having her ex-husband back in Storybrooke…they'd already learned that the dagger in anyone's hands except for her own was never a good thing. "Any one of them could control him," she commented, knowing that Hook already seemed to understand the dire situation they might potentially have on their hands. "Or even worse, use the dagger to kill him! And become the Dark One herself!"

No. Together or separate, her heart couldn't take that blow again. She'd never recover. And she couldn't stand to think that her hiding place would have been the reason behind his demise and the rise of another.

"No," Hook answered, "we won't let that happen. I'm assuming you hid the dagger somewhere safe?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Then we must move it."

"What?" she blanched. It was somewhere safe, so he wanted to remove it from its safe spot?!

"They knew him on the outside, they might have gleaned much about you and where you might hide something," he explained. No. No it wasn't possible, it was well hidden, in a place that Rumple wouldn't even think to look! But…what if they had? They'd been in town that night. The night that she'd reburied the dagger. And they'd been gone from the inn, off to somewhere that neither Granny nor Will knew about. And they'd known about her at the shop, despite the fact that he wouldn't have known that she'd gone to work at the pawn shop after his departure. What if he really was destitute in New York? What if Killian was right and he really had told them about her? What if…what if they'd been following her? What if they'd seen her with the dagger? What if they already had it?! That thought sank into her belly like a heavy rock and nearly made her sick. What if she was too late? What if she wasn't good enough?

"We have to put it somewhere they would never think to look," Killian pressed

He was right. It needed to be moved! "But where?" she questioned. It was already as safe as she feared she could make it, if they had been following her, or knew something about her…then it was impossible that she could place it somewhere that she wouldn't think about!

"Don't worry about that," he assured her. "You wanna bury a treasure where no one could find it? Leave it to a pirate."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so hear is my personal theory of why no one told Belle anything in 4B (and by "personal theory" I mean the only weak excuse I could come up with): trust. That little interchange with Rumple/Hook asking Belle about Regina? Anyone wanna guess what he was trying to do? Pump her for information to see if Regina was working with them or not. If Team Charming had told her then of course her first answer would have been "yeah but she's not really evil she's only working with them to get us information remember?" and never known that she'd just ruined the entire plan. Weak for this episode since not even Regina knows who she's really working for but for the rest of the season I figure they don't tell her much because they are slightly afraid that she'll go back to him or that he'll be able to glean information from her without her knowing. Weak, I know, but hey, the way I look at it at least I have a theory. A&E didn't even give us an explanation. As for Belle and Hook and what the hell she's thinking giving him the dagger...ugh, we'll talk about it tomorrow. I did my best to work with the craziness that it was but...tomorrow. We'll discuss it tomorrow.
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	29. Unsettling Contradictions

They couldn't waste any time. They had to go now and make sure the dagger was safe. As far as she was concerned she and Killian could figure out the details on their way. She felt guilt knot itself in her chest as she saw Will sitting there with his slice of uneaten cake all alone and looking worried. She felt bad about this, really she did, but it couldn't be avoided. This was too important. "I'm sorry but I have to go take care of something," she leaned down and kissed him on the cheek her own flooding with red as she felt eyes on her. "I'll see you tomorrow," she whispered then quickly left with Hook.

He tried to drive. That surprised her, but the moment they'd gotten to the car he'd automatically gone for the driver's side and she had a moment to think that the lessons he'd once told her David was giving him might be working and he might be driving more, but letting him drive this car…it wasn't going to happen. She quickly slapped his hand away and banished him to the passenger side, reminding him easily enough that she knew where the dagger was hidden and he didn't. He seemed almost put off by the action but eventually conceded, even if he was unhappy about it.

They talked as they drove, Killian told her his plan, that if the witches had spoken to Rumple about her then they would begin their search focused on her, knowing she was the last to have it. If he had ever spoken of Killian however, that was surely a far less pleasant conversation. If he took the dagger and hid it for her, they may be able to keep the witches off its scent indefinitely. It started to rain on the way there. Not hard, but enough that the roads were slippery and the grass and dirt around the area she'd buried it was muddy.

"Out here?" he questioned looking around as she positioned the car just right. They had no flashlights, she hadn't been prepared to walk on the beach or go digging the dagger up. The headlights would have to do tonight. "You left it in the middle of nowhere, somewhere that anyone could find it?" he asked again, looking almost shocked at her behavior.

"It was just temporary," she explained. "Until I could find a better place for it. No one was going to dig it up this time of year and besides, this place…it's not nowhere to me."

With that she got out of the car and walked onward, letting her eyes sweep the ground for the markers she'd left for herself. "I didn't know you were quite so fond of abandoned factories," Hook commented uselessly behind her.

She didn't take her eyes off the sand in front of her, but figured that there was no harm in explaining, after this he'd have the dagger to truly take it somewhere safe. And besides, she was working on trusting Killian, he'd shared personal information and stories with her, if she wanted to trust him then she had to give him something to be trusted with, something beyond a useless dagger.

"It's not the factory it's the beach. This was only temporary, but before…it was further down that way. When Ariel came to me, while you were all in Neverland, it was where I left her with Pandora's Box. I watched her go and had…the most wonderful feeling. After a week of nothing but dread I just had this happy thought that after everything we'd been through and were going through there was an end to it. I just knew that eventually everything would be alright," she explained sadly because things had been alright. For all of one night before they'd tumbled out of control again. "It's just here," she muttered, avoiding Killian's eyes as she came to a stop at the place the dagger should have been. Nothing looked touched or moved. That was a relief.

"You buried your hope with the dagger," she heard Killian mutter somewhere above her and when she finally gathered the courage to take a glance up at him she had to look away because the eyes that she saw were not just sympathetic, they were empathetic, as if he reflected the hurt that she felt and it was just too much for her to handle on top of the harsh reality of what they were doing here.

"I buried my hope and my love, my sadness…I buried my past," she finally concluded pushing her fingers into the earth a little too roughly and unearthing all of it again. After the hat she thought she'd have lots of time before she had to do this again. If she had time, more time to settle into who she was now, to adopt this relationship she had with Will, it might have hurt less, but telling Hook was what really hurt, admitting it out loud instead of just going on and pretending it was simply the dagger that was here…it made it hurt as if she was cutting open a new scar herself.

Finally she felt one of her fingers jam on something hard beneath her hands and though the light was bad she breathed a sigh of relief when she realized what it was. Gingerly she pulled the sandy colored cloth out of the ground and stood up, feeling the package as she went. It certainly felt like the dagger was still inside it. She glanced up at Killian and he continued to watch her as she began to unwrap it and found…

The dagger, still safely tucked away inside.

She threw the useless cloth away and felt happiness course through her. She didn't expect happiness. Relief, she knew she'd feel that at the daggers safety, but happiness, the joy of knowing that if the dagger was safe then Rumple could continue on his own journey without fear of being taken advantage of again or killed for his power…that surprised her.

"Thank goodness it's safe!" she smiled at Killian, trying to get rid of her tears and feeling silly for crying them in the first place. She shouldn't have this reaction. Not when she'd moved on as she had. As she thought she had.

"Do you uh…do you know where you're going to hide it?" she asked Killian, wanting the assurance that it would continue to be just as safe as it was here, with her.

"The less you know about it the better," he answered. It was sad, but it was right. That was the point of all this wasn't it, to remove it from her memory. Not just because she couldn't have any part in hiding it but because that would keep her and it safe. Where the dagger was could be deadly knowledge and now if someone asked she could honestly say that she didn't know where it was. They could torture her all they liked, but they'd never get the answer. In many ways she felt like she was finally getting rid of the Dark One, casting him out of her life completely…it didn't feel as freeing as she'd once thought it was.

"Take Gold's car," Killian insisted, "you won't see me again until it's in a place where no one will ever find it."

A place that no one would ever find it…that was exactly where it needed to be. And who would have thought that the man helping her to accomplish that goal would have been the pirate? A year ago she'd have said it was absurd they'd ever be anything other than unfriendly acquaintances. But now…she still wouldn't call him her friend, but he certainly did feel like an ally. One that she could trust. And she wasn't sure when that had happened, she didn't know she'd ever felt like she trust him before now…but for now she did.

"Thank you Killian," she strained around the lump in her throat. "The idea of Rumple returning after…after everything that happened I…I don't know what I'd do." If he showed up again, met her one day on the street or in the shop…she was afraid of what she'd do, of what she might do. Even with him over the town line she knew that it had been more than one occasion that she'd nearly gone after him. If he came back…secretly she feared she'd be back by his side again in only hours and she knew that would never be a good thing. It might feel good, but it wouldn't be good. She'd learned the difference in a hard way.

"Least you don't have to worry about that now," Killian assured her almost gently and she gave a quick tight nod because he was right. This…this really would keep him away. Now, she just had to keep herself away. From him.

She reached out to hand the dagger over to her partner, to get rid of it and any possibility that he might become its slave once more…and stopped.

It was just a thought, a stupid thought that had jumped out at her from the recesses of her mind, the thought that told her that Hook could only use the dagger for evil if Rumple was here…if he was already here. "What is it love? Is something wrong?" he questioned as she lowered the blade, fear winding it's way up through her body.

"Yeah, I just had…the most awful thought!" No. Hook didn't have the ability to get Rumple here. He was a smart resourceful man but with no connections to the outside world not even he was that good. But the witches were. They'd been assuming all this time that if the dagger was here then he was safe but there were two parts to their plan. Get the dagger, get Rumple into town. Just because they hadn't succeeded in one didn't mean they hadn't in the other. "What if…what if Rumple's already here?" she whispered out loud.

"You mean inside the town lines? Isn't that-"

"Impossible, yes, but…" Wasn't that why they were here? Because there was some chance that they could do it?! "I don't know I just have this…this terrible feeling." It was just nerves wasn't it? She'd just scared herself thinking about coming face to face with him again, being manipulated by a feeling of euphoria and clever words. The only shield she had from him, the only way she could ever be sure to keep him gone was to keep the dagger. So that if he came back…if she couldn't trust herself she'd have to send him away again. For her own sake and to protect Henry. "This is my only protection," she told Hook.

"Well if you're concerned he's here there's one way to know for sure. Use the dagger, command him to come face you, if he's here…he has no choice."

Use the dagger. Summon him again. No. No she couldn't do that. She couldn't summon him because she didn't know what would happen if he ever returned to her side and she had to see him face to face...! She'd only barely managed to do what she'd done the last time if he was here then…she wouldn't be alone. Killian was here. And though she hated to think of the look on his face when he found out what had happened in his absence, Killian's presence would help. If he was here then he'd remind her that he needed to be commanded to leave town once more, he'd take the dagger, and she'd cry herself to sleep that night, but at least their safety would be intact…so long as she didn't follow him over that line like she knew she so desperately wanted to.

That thought should have been enough to make her give the dagger to Killian, have him do the summoning, and leave, but she couldn't. As much as she trusted him now, she didn't trust him that much. She fidgeted. Pushed some hair out of her eyes, opened her mouth to find another argument but just couldn't. No. It had to be her or no one else. She had to be strong. Her heart was beating violently in her chest, she was already crying, and she felt her hands shake as she held the blade up before her as she had once before.

"Dark One!" she called, her voice two pitches too high. She'd been here before, once months ago. Then she'd wanted nothing but him to show up at her side at her command…now she hated the fact that she didn't want him to, but her heart leapt at the thought that she might. What did she want to happen? "If you're here…come and face me…now!" she shouted into the air and for a moment she realized just how dangerous this all was because she could see what would happen so clearly!

He'd reappear in a cloud of smoke, she'd dissolve into tears at just the sight of him, and before she could command him back into his exile, before he could say another word, she'd fall into his arms again, just as she always did. She'd tell him how worried she'd been and how she'd hated being away from him and how they would work it out and she could forgive him and he…

Could he forgive her?

What he would have done didn't matter because he wasn't there. Clearly. She looked around as she lowered the weapon but there was no one around. It was still dark, still rainy, and the only one actually facing her was Killian. "Well," she smiled, trying to seem relieved when all she really felt was disappointment, "guess I was wrong." And really…it was for the better.

"Here," she whispered handing it over to Killian before she could lose her nerve again. She had that feeling again, the one she'd had before, the one that told her not to do it, but this time she ignored it, turned, and quickly walked back to her car. She was happy to drive away, to see someone else with the dagger even if once upon a time Hook's hands on it had given her nightmares. No. He wasn't her first choice to take possession of the dagger, but his possession was better than those dreaded witches. And Killian…doing this wouldn't just keep her safe, but everyone, including Emma and Henry, and she trusted that he'd never put her in danger. This wasn't perfect, but it was safe enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly...I did my best with this. Truly I did, but this was the first time that I felt well and truly stumped. I get it, truly I do, I understand why she would give the dagger to someone else and I tried to put that in here as her justification for giving it away. She sees it as useless at this point because as long as Rumple is outside of the town line it's basically like saying to someone "here can you hide this random butter knife so I don't know where it is, k thanks!" What really stumped me was "why Hook?" And this isn't even going to be about Hook, or his character or is he good is he evil...yada yada I'm over it. It really was just that I thought he was a poor choice for the writers to use his character for this particular scene. Clearly Hook and Belle in 4B were working on their issues, but even with the partnership I tried to build up I don't think even I could make this make sense. So they've been friends or, as they are in Moments, comrades for a couple of weeks. Would she really trust him with something so huge this so soon? I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I wasn't ticked off she gave the dagger away, I was just irritated that no one in the writers room thought to say "this might be going too far with this new relationship and maybe we should use someone else". I mean just think for a second because I know that this one stumped Belle fans and Hook fans alike (I read so many Captain Swan people that were equally as baffled as the die hard Rumbellers so we can all unite over this one thing), if it was Mary Margaret that came to get it, that told her "hey I think the dagger is in trouble and I think you should give it to me for safe keeping"...would you have felt different about this scene. I would have. David, Henry, Rapunzel, hell even Emma or Archie...I would have felt different if they'd chosen anyone besides Hook. And yes, I know it's not actually Hook (and did you like how I threw some blaring red "NOT HOOK" warnings in there for you, like the drivers side door and her sudden sense of trust) but it seemed strange to me that the conversation in the writers room must have been along the lines of "alright, we need someone for Rumple to become, someone Belle trusts...clearly Hook is the right choice." So my friends, I did my best with this. Why they felt they needed to use Hook for this scene just...it stumped me. I'm sorry ya'll. I did my best to explain it but I'm afraid it's just not up to my usual standard. Congrats A&E, I used to think that I could explain everything...you finally gave me a run for my money.
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	30. Safe, Simple, Fine, and Good

Of course he was gone. She was being silly, or maybe fearful…or maybe hopeful. But what she was being was irrelevant because the bottom line was that Rumpelstiltskin was gone. He wasn't in Storybrooke. If he had been he would have been summoned to her side when she'd called for him. If he had been…

She liked to believe that she would have seen his shadow lurking around her. That somehow she would have sensed him or noticed little things, little hints, betraying his presence in town. She liked to believe that he'd come for her first thing whether she wanted to see him, whether she was ready to see him or not! New locks wouldn't stop him if he had magic and…why did this bother her so much?!

Him.

Back in Storybrooke.

It wasn't for Henry. She knew in her heart of hearts that he wouldn't hurt Henry, not physically at least. She was the same. He'd ripped her heart out already but besides emotional distress she didn't think he had it in him to harm her. But…the others. They weren't safe from him. Hook. Emma. Mary Margaret and David, even little Neal.

She was being silly again, jumping to conclusions, letting her imagination scare her over nothing! He wasn't in town! Tonight proved that. And after these last couple of days she knew there was no possible way of him returning to town. The scroll was the only access point. Who was going to give it to him? Not any of the Charmings. Not Hook. Regina hadn't been happy about her choice, but after explaining that it was for Henry's own good she'd agreed and while she'd applauded her efforts and sworn up and down that it wasn't enough that as long as she and Henry were still here he'd find a way to get back to town she didn't think Regina would actually help him back into town. Cruella, Ursula, Malificent, yes, they knew of him but they'd spoken of him with distain in their unsympathetic voices. Besides, he'd kept the Gauntlet for himself, which meant that when he'd bartered for her he'd fooled them. Surely they knew that by now. Surely they weren't friends though there was little question as to whether or not they were enemies. Not to mention she couldn't think of a single reason they'd want to share whatever they were here for with a fourth person.

And her?

If he called tonight and said he was on the outskirts of Storybrooke that he wanted another chance?

She felt a tear slip down her cheek as she shook her head at the thought and tried to focus on her driving but with a question like that in her head and the thoughts that she couldn't deny overwhelming her. She liked to think she wouldn't do it. She couldn't. Another chance wasn't reason enough. She'd given him chance after chance after chance and each time he'd undone every good thing she'd ever given him. As much as she wanted to sometimes, she just couldn't give in.

But if she heard his voice again, saw his sad face…the truth was she didn't know what she'd do.

She parked in her usual spot and wiped her eyes. It was over. The dagger was no longer in her control, Rumple wasn't coming back, and she had work to do. A resurrection spell. Something to bring Maleficent back from the dead. She had to find it, even if it meant swallowing her pride, ignoring his things sitting in the basement and going downstairs to use those books again! She had to-

She stopped at the front of the shop, a sight she hadn't expected to find making a smile stretch slowly across her face. A single rose. Lying there, just waiting for her to come back. Will. It had to be. Rumple was gone and…she couldn't even remember when she'd told him that she liked roses. Was that how much they'd talked over these last few months? That she didn't even remember when she'd told him little details like this?

She picked the rose gingerly off its place by the door and brought it inside, beaming as she pressed it to her nose. Beautiful. And kind. After she'd run out on him she really didn't deserve something so wonderful as this. But she was glad it was here. She needed the reminder of the good things here for her in Storybrooke. She needed an anchor, something to hold on to…or maybe just something to keep her from drifting. Especially if she found herself drifting over the town line.

After a few moments of cherishing her new treasure she seemed to snap back into attention. A vase. It needed a vase. Something pretty to keep it alive while she could. She knew just the one she had in mind and pulled it from the back, she cut the stem to size, filled the vase with water, and set it out on the front counter. It wouldn't work there long term, no matter how much she admired it. But for now, it was just fine. Beautiful.

She couldn't run off right now if she'd wanted to. Will needed her here and she needed Will if only to keep her here. It was a crazy round about kind of knowledge, but it was certainly better than going back to Rumpelstiltskin. Besides, this…flowers and chocolate cake and talking…this was nice. It might not be exciting or the whirlwind romance she'd once had but once was enough for her. This was good. And that was all she needed to know.

Behind her, the door to the shop opened and closed and she turned, hoping to find Will only to have her heart sink at the vision of Hook there against the door.

She sighed and felt her smile falter. In all the excitement she'd nearly forgotten, they weren't done yet. She had to see this through to the end. "Killian…is uh…is the dagger safe?"

"Yes," he assured her. "And now that it's hidden we have one last piece of business." Her stomach knotted. One last piece of business? What did they have to do? She couldn't think of anything. That was really all that was bothering her, wasn't it? "We must swear a pirate's oath. We must promise to never talk about what happened today again. To one another or anyone else."

She felt herself nod. She had no idea what a pirates oath was, but he was right. They couldn't say what happened to the dagger from here on out. It needed to remain hidden and unfound for as long as possible if not indefinitely. Telling others where it was or who had it last…that was a sure way to get it found. "It's the only way to assure the dagger stays safe," he assured her, misinterpreting her silence. So this really was it then. One last piece of business before the dagger faded from memory. If only it was that easy to get rid of the memories she had of him.

She nodded again and with her permission he reached for her hand. She flinched at the touch because it was strange, too gentle with her for a man like Hook and when he placed it over his chest she felt herself yearn to take a small step back because she was never one to enjoy being touched, especially by Killian. He placed his own hand on her heart and she felt herself tremble from the closeness. It was too close. Surely they didn't need all this pomp, surely he didn't need to touch her there! It was respectful, she supposed, but still…he took another couple of steps forward and she wanted so bad to remove her hand and step away but he held it there in place with his hook at her wrist. If this would make him feel better that was fine, she just wanted to get it over with.

"You have my word," he promised her with a whisper so gentle it was almost romantic. And awkward. Terribly awkward.

"And…you have mine," she spat out quickly with a reassuring nod, hoping this was the end of it.

It was. The moment he offered her a smile she quickly slid her hand free and was happy when he took a step back from her again. They weren't friendly enough to be that close yet.

"I'm guessing that's a gift from your admirer, Will," Killian muttered, changing the topic for the best.

She found herself smiling like a girl at the thought of it but she just couldn't help it. It was a thoughtful gesture. "Yeah," she confirmed. "It was outside when I got here."

Killian nodded as he looked it over. "If…you don't mind…are things…serious?" he questioned sounding almost nervous to ask the question.

But she laughed at the very idea of things being "serious" between the two of them. Will was rarely serious about anything. And she'd had serious. She'd had serious in her romantic life for as long as it had really existed. This wasn't serious. Both she and Will would be the first to admit that but right now she wasn't looking for serious. Right now she didn't feel like she needed serious. She wanted something different. Because if she knew that if she wanted serious again, then she'd be over the town line searching for Rumpelstiltskin before she finished answering his question, and she just wouldn't let herself do that. Not anymore.

"What it is is…it's new!" she answered honestly. "And beyond that I…I don't know."

"You're so…different," he pointed out.

"I know," she nodded feeling a small thrill rise in her stomach that she might actually be succeeding at leading a normal life. "And after Rumple it's just so nice to…spend time with someone who's nothing more than who he says he is!" That was what she needed now. Not serious just…plain. Simple was good. The expected was safe. Right now that was exactly where she needed to be.

"So you're over him, then…Rumpelstiltskin," Killian questioned looking almost disappointed. She couldn't blame him. The thought of being 'over' Rumple…it was disappointing. The thought of never having another morning in private, never giving him the pickles off her hamburger, never being in love with him…it was disappointing. As much as she wanted to say that she was over him, as much as she sometimes wanted to be 'over' him…she just couldn't. And the nice thing was that Will seemed to understand that. Having Anastasia in his life…he understood that Rumple would forever be part of hers.

"I don't know if I can ever be 'over' him," she answered. "But for now, Will makes me smile!" And she knew that she made him smile and that might not be much, but after what they'd both endured in their love lives, that was something they both sorely needed.

Killian glanced over at her rose once more then offered her a small smirk. "I'm glad to hear that." She smiled back. Sometimes she was happy to be reminded of it too. "Good-night, then," he whispered before turning to head out. It would have been an excellent time to ask him about Emma, she felt as though she'd barely seen her since the witches came into town but…why had he asked about Will in the first place? Was there something that he wasn't telling her?

"Oh, Killian!" she called. "Uh…about Will…I was wondering…what…what happened between you two?"

He didn't turn around. He didn't look her in the eye or give her any kind of reassurance. But she could see tension fill his muscles at the very suggestion. Maybe Will wasn't exactly who he claimed to be.

"Let's just say…he took something I care for…"

She wanted to question him further but she didn't get the opportunity. Her phone rang, harsh and shrill into the empty space she practically jumped out of shock as she went to fetch it. A second later she heard the door to the shop close and Killian was gone, leaving her with more questions that she wanted answered but…

Will. He was calling her. His wonderful perfect timing as always and after the night she'd had, after the flower that he'd left…she wanted to talk to him tonight before the sadness could creep in on her. "You are the most thoughtful, wonderful man in the world!" she answered plucking her rose out of its vase to admire it.

"Well…if I'd known I was going to ge' a response like tha' I'd 'ave started calling more often!"

She giggled at him and leaned against the counter to smell her rose. "I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate everything you've done and are doing for me…it can't be easy especially when I run out of Granny's like I did today."

"Nah…I'm used to i'. Too much a' one time can 'ave tha' effec' on the ladies…"

No, he was the least serious person she'd ever known.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okey Dokey here we finally get to the point I've been dying to make for weeks! One of the reasons why I think Scarlet Beauty was always bound to fail...Belle's character. Before this chapter did anyone pick up on the words used to describe Will. They're bland. They're ordinary. They're words I never try to use to describe Rumple. Will is safe, he's good, and plain, and ordinary and predictable...he's fine. What he's not is excellent, outstanding, exciting, passionate! I've tried hard to explain that the weird swing in this relationship is because she was burned so bad it wasn't even an A or B thing it was more like "Well A hurt so much I'll try Z so I don't hurt like that again". The problem is that for a girl who's always longed to be a hero, for adventure, someone who wants to see the world and do amazing things...safe, simple, fine, and good isn't gonna get the job done for too long. And inevitably she's going to realize that she likes that about Rumple's character. Hopefully ya'll can start seeing the facade that was cracking in previous chapters begin to come apart here. Even she realizes Will isn't serious and she openly admits that not only is Rumple going to be in her life and part of it forever...but Anastasia is going to be part of Will's. It's weird because it's like they are both trying to do this relationship the right way, but they are both cheating on each other with their Ex's.
> 
> Thanks to Judymulder for your comments on the last chapter. Don't worry, I wasn't insulted, I knew there was no way to really fix that chapter so I just went with it and did the best I could. The creators officially stumped me...and I think that takes a lot of effort personally! Hopefully this chapter was a little better and if not...I think we'll enjoy the chapters for 3x15, they were a bit easier to work with. Peace and Happy Reading!


	31. The Most Logical Thing in the World

She'd found and brought two books into work with her today. In the end she really had no choice. When she went downstairs to the basement to look through the books he'd left behind, the ones she'd never actually gotten the opportunity to give to Regina, she couldn't help but feel like a million eyes were on her. His things, his clothes, even those silly boxes, it was as if they knew exactly what she'd done and were taunting her with their silence. She couldn't do her research in the basement and so she decided that she really did need to throw that stuff away. It was a shame that it was going to have to wait until later, when she wasn't late for work.

So now the books were here, with her in the shop, and she was already moving through each of them trying to find the spell that had made Maleficent live and possibly find a way around it. There was mention here and there that made her think she might not be alive in the same way that they were, that all she was might have been a reanimated corpse. But the only way to prove that would be to find out if she had all her memories and if she was working with Cruella and Ursula again then she assumed that she had all her memories. It was something worth looking into, but she highly doubted that was what she was looking for.

But she wasn't ready to give up yet! She'd find the spell they needed, she'd find a way to beat them this time instead of letting them triumph over her once more.

It was just around lunch when the bell to the shop rang, expecting Will she moved into the main room...and saw Emma, Killian, Mary Margaret, and David huddling into her shop.

That was never a good thing.

"Emma," she breathed. "I told you I'd call when I knew which spell-"

"This isn't about that," Emma insisted. "We have an emergency, a big one, and we need your help to fix it."

No, this group never brought good news. But so far she'd never let them down, she didn't intend to do that now. "Then ask," she stated.

"The dagger, we need it."

She felt herself flush and glanced over at Killian but he was stone faced as ever. What were the chances something like this would happen the morning after they'd hidden it? What was going on, exactly? "Why…why would you need it, exactly?"

"Because Rumpelstiltskin and his gang of Merry Murderesses have August and Regina locked up in his cabin and if we don't send him back over the town line now someone is going to die. We need that dagger."

Her stomach hurt. Not in the way that it ached. No, she felt like she was going to be ill. Her whole body felt numb and suddenly the rest of what Emma had said beyond the first two words were irrelevant. No. It…it wasn't true.

"What?" she breathed trying to remember to breathe because at some point she'd stopped.

"Rumpelstiltskin," Mary Margaret sighed, understanding immediately what had stumped her. "He's here in Storybrooke. Regina confirmed it this morning. He's the reason Ursula and Cruella are here, probably the one who knew how to raise Maleficent."

"I'm sorry Belle," David muttered. "But it looks like he's the ring leader in all of this."

She felt her legs shake and had to grab for the counter in front of her in order to steady herself.

The…the ring leader? Raising Maleficent from the grave? He wasn't in trouble? Or poor? He hadn't been left on the side of the road? He was here? Really, truly here? Why was it that out of all those facts one seemed more unbelievable than the rest? Why couldn't she move passed it?

"He-he's here!" she stammered staring at David, gawking really at what he and his wife had just said. No. That wasn't possible it just…it wasn't. "But…but that's impossible!" she declared, a small laugh of disbelief in her voice. Or maybe it wasn't disbelief at all. Maybe she was just trying to laugh at their joke. Their sick, twisted joke, because that's all this was! It had to be.

"Did you really think he'd stay away," Mary Margaret countered.

No. No one looked like this was a joke. Had she thought that he'd stay away, for good? That sending him over the town line was really enough?! She'd wanted to. She'd wanted to believe that would keep him away and cure him so badly. But Regina...had she really been right all along?

"The dagger," Emma breathed stepping forward quickly, "you need to hand it over so we can stop this fight before it starts."

"The dagger…" she struggled to make her brain work, to try and get over the news they'd just brought her. The dagger was why they were here and she needed to stay focused. "I…don't have the dagger. Killian does!" she pointed out.

The room was silent as they all turned their gazes on Killian.

And Killian looked shocked.

He wasn't honestly going to uphold that silly oath they'd taken last night, not here, not with these people and the situation being what it was?!

"What? Me?" he questioned. Her mouth fell open in disbelief. He was really going to try and deny what they'd done?! She thought that he trusted Emma enough for that. "Well, I haven't seen that cursed blade since you commanded the crocodile to leave the first time!" Hook claimed.

No! No, he was lying! Emma had to see that! "You…you took it from me last night," she explained, wishing he'd just give this up and admit it. "To…hide it where no one could find it!"

"After the lifetimes I've spent searching for a way to destroy the Dark One I'm pretty certain I'd remember holding that dagger in my hand!"

Now that sounded like Hook! Not the Hook she'd spoken to last night but the Hook that she knew, even the Killian that she'd come to know and if Emma wasn't declaring him a liar…then he had to be telling the truth. But…

No he couldn't be! It was him! It had to be him! Unless he had a twin running around town! Because otherwise…otherwise she'd let the dagger go missing. Her legs wobbled again as that thought slammed into her. She'd let the dagger go missing. Handed it over to someone or something unknown! And at a time like this that could be a fatal mistake.

"Okay well if I didn't give the dagger to you then who-"

"You gave it to Gold," Emma stated suddenly looking at her like it was the most logical thing in the world, "disguised as you!" she concluded glancing at Killian. "He's back and so is his power."

Her heart sank and she felt tears pool in her eyes at once as everything suddenly clicked right into place. It really was the most logical thing in the world. Every bit of that made sense which could only mean…she'd been face to face with her husband again last night. She'd talked to him, told him secrets that she wanted to keep guarded. He'd manipulated her again. Betrayed her. He'd used her to get to the only thing that mattered most to him back and it wasn't her. Power. It was the most logical thing in the world.

"Even when I didn't think he could deceive me anymore…he found a way," she lamented. She felt flush with embarrassment as she tried to hide her tears. All these months she'd spent worrying and wondering, thinking of him first and her life second…no more. He was no husband to her. Not anymore. She couldn't let him be.

"Banishment was too good for that demon," Hook growled. "We should have driven that dagger through his heart when we had the chance!"

"Then your name would be written across it," Emma reasoned.

"It's a small price to pay to ensure the crocodile wouldn't come back again."

"I know you're angry but we've defeated him before and we'll do it again!"

"Yeah but the question is how, we don't even know what he's planning," Mary Margaret pointed out.

"First we save August," David insisted.

"Yeah…you do that," Hook agreed, "I'll find out the Dark One's secret."

"How are you going to do that?" David asked.

"The sea witch, Ursula," he answered after a small pause. "Remember when I said I had a past with her, now's the time to use it."

"How?" Emma asked.

"By taking a page out of your book Swan…I'm going to return her happy ending."

"Can you…really do that?!" she blanched.

"Aye, because I'm the one who took it from her in the first place."

"Wait…what?!"

"You know we had history."

"Yeah, well…that's a hell of a history to have! What did you do to her?"

"Her singing voice…it was the one thing that reminded her of her mother and…I took it from her."

There was silence in the room, nothing but the sound of breath as everyone seemed to take in the news that Killian had offered. Was it bad? Was it good? She didn't know anymore. Next to the blow they'd just delivered to her, she doubted anything would ever be as bad as that.

"You took her singing voice?!" Mary Margaret finally repeated in what could only be described as horrified confusion. She supposed it was bad then. "That's a strange move, even for a pirate."

"It wasn't to my profit," Killian corrected. "Her father was a tyrant, in my search to destroy Rumpelstiltskin he took away the one thing I needed, the one thing that mattered most to me. So in my vengeance I took away the one thing that mattered most to him and every father whether he knew it or not…his daughter's happiness."

"Yeah, that would do it," David murmured.

"Aye…but now the time has come to give it back. In fact it's long overdue. But perhaps if I give her what she wants, she'll give us what we want, the key to the Crocodiles undoing."

She knew where her place was supposed to be in this conversation, where it would have been months ago. "Stop", "don't hurt him", "just let me talk to him", "he's a good man". The words were there on her tongue but she fought them back easily enough, feeling like a ghost of her former self. No. All this time, ever since she'd sent him over the line she'd been a ghost, now...she wasn't sure what she felt like she was now because it was hard to feel anything. If he loved her then his place would have been by her side. If she mattered at all to him then he would have faced her himself instead of hiding behind another mask as he used her again. If he truly cared for her he would have come to see her first thing. He would have talked to her, given them a chance to work through their last encounter. She would have admitted she'd acted rashly and he would have acknowledged he'd made a mistake and they could have started from there.

But he hadn't done any of that. The truth was he'd used her just as he had before. He'd used her and she felt used. Dirty.

She knew what her words in this conversation were supposed to be but she just wouldn't do it, not anymore, not as her guests moved out of her shop to go enact their plans against him.

From now on, she was done fighting his battles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah remember how we thought it couldn't get any worse...it just got worse. I hope ya'll think this is an okay chapter. I did a couple of odd things, like taking out a lot of inner thought out during dialogue for the exact same reason I did it way back in MH&U when Rumple died. She's in shock. She's hearing but not reacting. Also the whole starting out in that denial kind of place (via procrastination "I'm going to do it, I'm going to finally throw his stuff away...but I'll do it later because even though I run my own businesses and can show up whenever I want...I'm late for work") to ending with certainty.
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	32. Good Common Ground

They were gone only minutes after they'd arrived, but it felt like days. In their wake they'd left behind a hallow place in her heart; a place of bitter brokenness she didn't know the human body could produce much less live through. Every time she thought that he could do no worse by her…he did worse.

The bell chimed minutes or maybe hours after they left again and she heard Will's voice saying it was a beautiful day and asking if she wanted to take a walk by the beach for lunch…and then he realized that something wasn't right. "What's wrong? What's 'appened? The witches-"

"No!" she snapped. "It's not them it's…it's not them!"

He'd healed her, rescued them from their clutches. And now he was working with them?! The terrible women who had once threatened to kill her over a glove?! Working with them...against her. Choosing not only power but evil like that! He'd completely lost his mind. Or his heart. She wasn't even sure it was ever hers to begin with.

But he'd had hers.

And right now, the sour place swelling inside her chest told her he still did. What she wouldn't do to get it back for herself and give it to a man like Will.

Will...eventually he got her to tell her what was wrong, what had happened. Eventually he got her to calm down and her blood to stop boiling but her stomach still felt like it would never be right again and her knuckles were white from her hands being clenched in fists against the glass case before her. She didn't cry. Her one redeeming factor. She was beyond tears now, beyond furious with him. She regretted every tear she'd shed since he'd left because clearly his had all been an act! If he cared...if he really had loved her, ever, he wouldn't have done this!

"He hurt me…tricked me again! And this time we weren't even…" Married? In love? Technically they were still married, though getting all that paperwork reversed was in the near future as far as she was concerned and in love…she was so sure that she'd been in love with him last night. Whether she wanted to be or not. Now she just felt like that love had finally rotted. She didn't think she'd ever known pain like this. She'd rather be shot through her shoulder a hundred times over than feel any of this.

"I know it 'urts," Will muttered beside her, placing a burning hand on her back.

"It's worse than hurt," she complained yanking herself free and pacing the shop, but only for a few seconds before her stomach turned again and made her want to vomit. She bent over another case and clutched at her stomach while she tried to catch her breath but it didn't ease her. This wasn't just hurt. "Hurt is a different kind of pain! This is just...it's so...it's..."

"It's called anger," he answered gently from somewhere behind her. "It'll pass...mostly."

She shook her head because there was a monster eating away at her heart and she was sure that it would only pass once she was dead. She'd been angry before, or at least she thought she'd been angry. She never wanted to be a bitter angry woman in her life, but somehow his own disease was slowly turning her into one and it was killing her. _He_ was killing her! And he didn't see it, he didn't care! How could he do this to her? How could she let him do this to her?

"'ey," Will whispered. "The wors' of i' does pass," he insisted. "Trus' me."

She shook her head again. It wasn't that it was difficult to believe that. It was just impossible. "It hurts so much," she cried, painful tears she wouldn't allow herself to shed rising up into her throat.

"Because you love 'im. It's always the ones tha' we care the mos' abou' tha' 'urt us the mos'."

She nodded because she knew it was true...she felt it was true! But that didn't mean she was ready to accept it lying down. Not anymore. "I wish I didn't," she whimpered. Why? How could she still love him after this? Why would she still love him? He really had done nothing but hurt her. And it hurt now. It hurt so much!

"You shouldn' wish something like tha'," Will muttered next to her. "Our love is wha' makes us who we are, for better or worse. Jus' because something hurts doesn' mean it's bad. If i' 'urts tha' means it's still there, something to 'old on to. We wouldn' be the same withou' i'."

If it hurt then that meant it was still there. She didn't know what to say to that really. She wished she didn't love him because this pain would stop but if she didn't embrace the pain then that meant that he truly had destroyed who she was; killed the love and the joy in her, truly turned her into a heartless being. No. She couldn't let him do that. So did that mean? That she was doomed to hurt like this forever?

That thought brought a fresh wave of tears to her. Will's advice was finally the realization that broke her. So she stared simply enough and did as he'd suggested...she embraced the pain, or the love, that she felt inside of her. And he was right there through all of it just as he had been weeks ago when Hook had told her the truth. They weren't particularly physical with one another. They exchanged kisses but gave them sparingly. They'd held hands a couple of times and given a few hugs but this was different. Crying into his chest was different. He held her. And she didn't hate it, but she wished it was more comforting than it felt. She wished so much that it could at least feel like that time Neal had held her, had given her the only kiss he'd ever given the night she grieved. She missed him more than anything! Still…this was a good thing, it was just fine. Comforting or not her tears meant that she was capable of love, at least according to Will. He was more deserving of it than anyone after what she knew after today.

So when she finally picked up her head and attempted unsuccessfully to swallow the lump in her throat she did her best to give him a smile. "What would I do without you?" she questioned a blush rising in her cheeks as she moved to clean up her face. It seemed that over these past couple of months he was the only one keeping her from falling completely apart.

"Eh! You'd be fine," he reasoned with a joking smile, back to being himself already. "You'd ge' along one way or another."

She shook her head. She was so tired of hearing that. "Everyone says that. Everyone thinks that I'm brave or strong and deep down all I really feel is…weak and…stupid. So... _so_ stupid."

"It's 'ard to see the good things when all you can focus on are the bad," he countered reasonably.

"Have I ever done anything good?" she wondered out loud putting her tissues away. "I feel like he's been my whole life ever since the day we met. I don't think I was anyone good before then and now I'm not sure I was ever any good with him?! So how can I possibly do any good now?!"

"Oi! I don' want to 'ear tha', you understand?" he insisted firmly. "That's not even a rational question. You do plenty of good. With or withou' 'im."

Did she? Did she really?

"Belle..." Will sighed into the silence. "When there's a problem in town who's the firs' one they all run to for 'elp findin' an answer?"

She shook her head. She knew what he was trying to do, what he was trying to say...but he was wrong. "Only when Rumple isn't around to help-"

"Wrong answer! It's you! And when their majesties need a babysitter las' minute who do they call?"

"It's just babysitting-"

"Wrong answer again, it's you! Because they know you're a good person, tha' they can trus' ya!" He was still wrong. It was just babysitting! Neal slept half the time anyway it wasn't anything good! "Or...who single handedly managed to organize, open, and keep running a pawn shop and a library simultaneously?!"

She finally felt a tug at the corner of her mouth. That she couldn't deny. Ruby, Rapunzel, and Will, and even Henry helped but she was always the instigator in that. "I did," she allowed.

"And who in this town knows more abou' dark magic and refuses to use i' for themselves no matter 'ow much life 'urts?"

Her tears returned but she didn't give into them this time. She nodded. Yes, that was a good thing. If only Rumpelstiltskin could have lived life that way.

Suddenly Will reached out and held one of her hands in his own oversized warm ones. He lowered his head and closed his eyes and for a moment she thought that he was about to cry. "When I feel like the world is black, when I feel like I'm alone in an abyss somewhere tha' no one else can ever understand, when I wan' to disappear and make the world go away… _you_ are the one tha' I call to rescue me. You...and no one else. Because you remind me tha' I'm no' as alone as I feel.

"I' took me a long time to see tha' we don' bear the sins or the guil' of the people we love. We are our own unique person, the people tha' we choose to be no' who they make us into. And every mornin' when you wake up you choose to be the mos' remarkable, beautiful, smartest, and bravest person in Storybrooke jus' because you choose to go on instead of giving into tha' darkness. Don't ever doubt tha' for a second."

That truly managed a smile from her. He really was one of the sweetest people she knew. In a perfect world there would have been her and Will and they'd have met before Rumpelstiltskin and Anastasia had irreparably damaged their lives forever. Now all either of them could do, was pretend that they hadn't, and do their best to move on side by side. Two lone survivors washed up in a dingy...

Rumple.

Not Hook.

But she refused to let that get into her mind again and with that she reached out, wrapped her arms around his neck, looked him over for a moment, then finally gave him a kiss.

In a perfect world their kiss of true love would have broken their curses and freed them both.

This kiss didn't. And his false smile betrayed the fact that he knew it was well.

The chime on the door tore her away from Will and she glanced behind her to find her second worst nightmare of the day. Ursula, striding in through the door. One of those dreaded witches had finally come for her at last-

"Do hope we're not interrupting…but we need the thief's assistance," Hook commented as he followed after her. She calmed down again at the sight of him. She'd been so traumatized when Emma had delivered the news she'd only barely listened to what he'd had to say. But she had listened. So seeing the pair of them together was oddly comforting. Besides, somehow she'd always feared Ursula the least of her companions. She just hadn't seemed as wicked as the others. Now she knew why. She was hurting just like she was. They'd both lost their mothers.

But…Hook. Ursula was here with Hook right now wasn't he? It wasn't Ursula and Rumple in disguise?! Was it?!

"And how do I know that you're really Killian?" she dared, quickly trying to think of the nearest potion she had hidden away in the shop, determined to keep one in her pocket from now on.

"Oh, now you decide to question my identity?!" he snapped sarcastically.

Yes. That was him. She opened her mouth to tell him that she could do without his particular breed of sarcastic humor but-

"If he were the Dark One lover boy would already be dead," Ursula pointed out for him.

Her heart stopped.

Will.

Dead.

Suddenly she felt a shiver run up her bones. She hadn't thought about that before. Rumpelstiltskin was back in town. He'd seen her and Will together! He'd interrupted them on their date and they'd talked about their relationship. If she was capable of it she would have blushed but that just wasn't possible at the moment. What would that beast of hers to do him?!

"Yeah, she's go' a point there," Will confirmed for her, breaking her from her trance. But his words weren't strong enough to chase the thought away. Was Will in danger? Was he the one that should be walking around with a potion in his hand. "But why should I 'elp you?" Will questioned of Hook, ignoring her concern.

"Because for once we want the same thing…the Dark One gone." She didn't want to, but she had to give her ex-husband credit for something. He knew everything. Though the animosity between the two of them last night might not have been what she thought it was, this morning it was dead on. There was something between Will and Hook. She just wished she knew what. But she kept quiet, for once this was Will's time, so she just watched as Killian rummaged through a bag at his side for something and pulled out…a bottle? "The key to making that happen…is here!"

It wasn't just a bottle. It was a bottle with a ship inside. A pirate ship.

"Righ'," Will muttered leaning forward to examine the thing. "Tha' your ship, is i'?" Killian nodded. "Bi' small innit?"

"Careful mate…" Killian snapped back. Dire as the situation was she had to repress a laugh. She could already tell that Will was enjoying this far more than he should and laughing, smiling...this was why she was with Will. This was why he was good for her in the middle of all this. "It's unwise to insult the size of a pirate's ship," Killian explained with an awkward shuffle.

It was a woman.

How ironic, the cause of last night's frustration was a woman and it was a woman right now. No, no one had told her but she wasn't exactly ignorant. Their innuendo hadn't gone unnoticed. She didn't know the full story but whatever it was a woman was involved somehow. And if it was a woman then it really didn't matter because she knew that the only woman that truly mattered to Will was Anastasia and if something had happened on that front he wouldn't have been as restrained with Hook. It was a story to hear…but a story for some other time. As Killian already seemed to have realized.

"You've spent more time in Wonderland than anyone I know, you must have something that can restore it," Killian insisted.

Next to her Will examined the small ship again, though this time she saw more teasing in his face than was probably appropriate. "You're in luck," he finally conceded, "I think I migh' 'ave jus' the thing." She smiled. Of course he had what they needed. It was nice not to be the only one for once. "We 'ave to make a quick trip firs' if you wan' i' though." And it was nice not to have to listen to a deal being made or caveats to handing over what was needed.

"Then let's make it…fast," Killian growled.

Will nodded. "Well, all righ' then…whatever I can do to 'elp!" He pushed himself away from their place against the glass case, but returned to her side quickly as if on second thought. "You should come with us," he told her. "You shouldn't be alone righ' now."

He was right. She shouldn't and she didn't want to be, not with the Dark One back and the dagger gone. But she wasn't the one she was worried about at the moment. Will shouldn't be alone either. "Actually I…I couldn't agree more."

"Righ'!" he clapped his hands together almost cheerfully as he looked at them. "Let's ge' started then shall we?!" And with that Will led them off to wherever he needed to go, to get them whatever they needed. And it made her happy. Of course he was going to give them what it was that they needed. Will was a hero, just like her he always tried to do the right thing. She supposed that was the one good thing they both had in common.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, here's why I like this chapter and the next coming up...because they are so damn honest! Remember how I mentioned that after a while it begins to feel not like Belle is cheating on Rumple with Will but rather that she's cheating on Will with Rumple...this is part of why it sometimes feels that way! She's upset, her guard is down, and what does she openly admit to the person that she has never officially called "her boyfriend"? That she still loves her "Ex"! And what does her "boyfriend" also acknowledge? That she doesn't love him but loves Rumple! And it's no better with Will and Anastasia. Yes, Will said a whole bunch of lovely little things about her, but did anyone catch the absent "but" there. "In Storybrooke". He can't say that she's the bravest most wonderful person that he's ever known or in all the realms because to him she's not and the best in Storybrooke is the best he can do. Nerds! Both of them! Beautiful nerds! In times of weakness, when their masks are off, in their heart of hearts (whatever cliche you choose to use) they both know they are not meant for each other! And tomorrow will be another excellent example of that! Okay...sorry...rant over. (Can I rant about a chapter I made up?)
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	33. What They Were Best At

She walked hand in hand with Will as he led the way down the street, passed Granny's, and into a part of town she'd never ventured before. Ursula and Killian trailed behind them but never said a word the entire time. Finally Will got to a building and pulled a set of keys out of his pocket to unlock a white door. "Where are we?" she asked as he worked the mechanism.

He sighed as the thing finally clicked and he pushed open the door. "Welcome to me 'ome swee' 'ome!" he declared. "Or a' leas' 'ome swee' 'ome durin' the curse. 'Aven' actually stayed 'ere since I go' back from Wonderland, obviously."

His home! She beamed as she stepped inside. It was nothing but curiosity. For as long as she'd known him he'd been one of Robin's Merry Men and he'd lived with the others, in a tent, in the woods. Of course she knew his past, the thief that he was before the curse had hit and he'd taken Alice back to Wonderland. And of course she knew a lot of what had happened in Wonderland, or at least what had happened between him and Anastasia. But who he was before…to see who he had been before he was the man that she knew now…it was fascinating.

Regina had done well with him. Yes, it was obviously the house, or apartment of someone who stole. There were boxes on the floor with shipping addresses that didn't match this one and names that obviously weren't "Will Scarlet" or any variation of that. But the apartment itself…it was beautiful. Hard wood floors, a creamy tasteful green on the walls, and the kitchen! The kitchen was the kind of kitchen that she figured she would dream about if she wasn't so pleased with her own! It was insightful and intriguing to think of him living in this place.

"Sorry abou' the dus'," he muttered behind her as she turned to see Killian and Ursula finally joining him and looking around. "Maid wasn' in the budge' this year."

She smiled at the joke and opened her mouth to tell him that it was alright, and not everyone could be as perfectly clean as she was, but Ursula-

"The dust I can forgive so long as you have what we're looking for," she snapped.

"Do you have what we need or not?" Killian prompted.

"Course!" Will smiled. "I'd 'ave been an idiot to leave withou' a few essentials." With that Will stepped casually around them and joined her in the kitchen, only it wasn't a normal kitchen. It was storage. When he opened up the refrigerator she found that there wasn't food inside, in fact the little light didn't even turn on to tell her the electricity was off in the place or it wasn't plugged in. So instead of milk or eggs or cheese, what was inside was dozens of tiny containers. Some silver, some clear, some…red. Magic. Who's magic? She couldn't help but wonder if maybe she wasn't the only one to keep a little piece of their lover around for safe keeping. His black bag was the one thing she'd never even considered getting rid of. So then…was she really as strong as Will thought she was? Was she really so willing to cast Dark Magic out of her life forever?

"Ah, 'ere's the beauty now!" Will said happily, reaching in and pulling a small glass vile out of the glorified closet.

"You keep your magic in a refrigerator?" Ursula drawled, unimpressed.

"Course I do! I was a thief once, I know that's the las' place a thief would ever look! And this stuff…this 'ere's more precious than gold and jewels." She watched as Will went to a drawer, pulled another, smaller glass vile out and poured a bit of the clear liquid into it careful not to spill a drop. Suddenly, without a word from him, she had a sneaking suspicion she knew exactly what was in that vile. Or at least what went into making it. _Alice in Wonderland..._ if certain bits of her story could be true, why not his? "These drops are distilled from Wonderlands fines' mushrooms. I should know, I picked 'em meself!"

"You must be very proud," Ursula mocked with harsh sarcasm. Will didn't blink an eye.

"As a matter of fac' I am!" he responded before glancing over at Killian and holding it out for him. "One drop is all you'll need." He warned, but before Killian could take it Will pulled it away at the last moment. "I'm no' joking." He said, his voice more serious than she'd ever heard it. Honestly, she didn't even know he had the ability to be this serious! "One drop is i'. Two drops and there won' be enough of you lef' to come back to ge' the reversal…and that's the best case scenario if you catch my drift."

"Advice taken, mate!" Killian growled and finally Will held the vile out for him and allowed him to take it. He and Ursula didn't waste time. The moment the vile was in the palm of his hand the pair of them were off.

"Oi!" Will called after them. "I'll want wha' you don' use back!" But the door slammed shut before they could confirm that they'd even heard him and when she turned to see if he wanted to run after them he only shrugged. "That's okay. It's no' like they're going to be leavin' town any time soon." She supposed he had a point.

"So…" she smiled, glancing around the apartment. "This is uh…this is where you live?" It was strange just how entranced she was by it. She'd never really seen an apartment besides her own over the library and she'd never lived anywhere besides that apartment and her house. She'd spent a night or two at the inn, and the cabin of course, but this place was so different. So fascinating. It was so…so…modern. It fit Will. And yet in some ways it didn't fit him at all.

"'Lived' actually," he reminded her. "Now I jus' use i' for storage and the occasional thing tha' won' si' well in a ten' or migh' ge' snatched by the boys. For example…" she watched as he opened another cabinet, reached back farther than she ever thought a cabinet should go and pulled out a bottle that Lacey recognized and two small shot glasses. "May I?" he asked with raised eye brows.

Whiskey. Not her favorite drink. She'd had it a couple of times since she'd been Lacey and the girl had downed it like water but…after a moment she nodded. There was no shame in just one and besides, after the day she'd had, after the news Emma had brought her, she could use a little something to cool her nerves.

The sound of liquid pouring into the glasses gave her permission to take another glance around the room. Lacey would have killed for an apartment like this. She'd always liked her little library apartment, and of course she still did, but it was nice just to imagine living in a place like this for once. "It's nice," she commented from the living room, smiling because the red couch didn't quite match the color of the walls. Something else he'd stolen perhaps? And…what was that on the wall across from it?

"Wha'?" Will called out to her.

"This place…it's nice," she clarified as she heard his feet stomp around the kitchen and sneak up behind her.

"It's no' bad…no' as nice as your place I'd wager."

"My place…" she smiled awkwardly, taking the tiny glass from him. "My place is…" Old. Lonely. Haunted with memories and things and boxes that she intended to throw away the second she got home without even looking! Her place. Even after all that, it was oddly perfect for her. And though she was enjoying the picture of being in a place like this, she couldn't ever imagine leaving her little pink house…memories and all. Sometimes she dared to think that it wasn't all a lie in that house, that the promises he'd made to her he'd been determined to keep, that their conversations were as naked as they had been, and that he had loved her, maybe even more than one night he'd loved her more than magic.

Before the lump in her throat got any bigger she managed to clink her small glass against his and smile. "Cheers!" she said quickly before tossing back the whiskey-

And nearly choking on it. No. Still not her favorite. Why had she thought this was a good idea? Getting drunk...that had never led her to any good decision. And being here, alone, in the apartment on her own…alone with Will.

Suddenly she felt herself flush at how close he was standing and moved away, trying to find something to put her glass down on, something new to talk about, something new to-

The paper she'd seen before, the one against the wall across from the couch, it wasn't just a piece of paper. It was a drawing. A drawing of a woman.

There were darts thrown through it.

That was hardly normal. She should leave it alone, just sit with her suspicions, but she just couldn't. She was too curious for her own good sometimes. "Is this her?" she asked looking it over. "Is that Anastasia?"

"That's nothin'," he said quickly moving around her, pulling the darts out and folding the piece of paper. But it wasn't nothing. She knew from the way he folded the paper and held it instead of balling it up and tossing it in the trash or casting it aside like junk mail. She watched as he stalked back and sat down on the couch and put the darts with the others he had sitting next to him. She could see it all perfectly clear in her head just then. Will, drawing a picture like this, sitting down in his couch, alone, and carefully aiming and throwing a dart whenever it got to be too much. It was sad. Because now she knew what it was like to feel that angry.

With a nervous swallow she sat down next to him on the couch and pulled the paper free from his hand as he starred at the empty space it left on the wall. He didn't fight her. Merely let her take the paper from him and listened as the sound of her unfolding it filled the room around them. Was it just her, or was this louder than it should have been? She glanced up at him a couple of times as she admired the drawing of the woman. Small. A square jaw, flawless complexion, long hair, light colored, she imagined. Otherwise an artist as talented as he was would have given it some shading for color. She should know, his skills rivaled her own. But that wasn't really the point.

"She beautiful," she muttered beside him. He didn't respond, just kept himself shut up inside the deep dark place that she knew he'd gone away to. She had to save him, she had to pull him out because he'd done the exact same thing for her not long ago. She couldn't stand the thought of him or anyone else going through what she was going through…what they'd gone through. "And these…" she exclaimed quickly, awkwardly reaching across him on purpose to touch the darts that he'd laid out on the table next to him. The movement snapped him out of it. That was what she'd been hoping for. "These are for the anger, the kind that hurts, the kind that you told me about in the shop-"

"Somethin' like tha', yeah," he snapped snatching the darts and the drawing back out of her hands and setting both of the back down on the table next to him. She had his attention again, but she didn't. He was looking at her but there was a distance in his eyes, a distance she already understood because she recognized it not only in herself but also in Rumpelstiltskin. She wondered if Anastasia had it too. Tears filled her eyes at the thought of the four of them all connected in this one strange and sad way and she put her hand through his own and reached forward to place her forehead against his own. "She must have hurt you so much," she whispered, the words slipping out of her mouth before she could stop them.

But she didn't regret it because the next thing she felt was the gentle motion of his nod. "You're the only one that would know how it feels," he confirmed. Yes. Yes, she did. And before she could stop herself she'd closed the distance between the two of them and kissed him. Hard. She wasn't sure if it was him or the alcohol or the subject matter, but she did know that she wasn't comfortable with it. That it was much more involved, deeper and more serious than they ever had kissed or touched before and the second she felt his hand move from her cheek to her shoulder her body reacted.

She pushed him back. Harder than she'd meant to she supposed because she felt like she was half way across the couch. "I can't!"

"I'm sorry," Will apologized at the same time.

She shook her head. "Sorry, you don't have to be-"

"The thing is…" Will went on looking her over almost painfully. Why did he look guilty? She'd started it and then stopped it, she'd led him on! This was her fault. "The thing is tha' you are wonderful and amazing and beautiful bu'…bu' I'm jus' no' sure tha' I'm…ready, for something like…tha'. Something like this," he corrected putting pressure on her shoulders as if he was afraid she'd get too close.

She breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn't ready for it either. That was why she'd ended up halfway across the couch. They'd both pushed back at the same time. That was good, because she wasn't ready for…this either! Well…maybe she…no. She honestly hadn't even thought about it since she began dating him and if she hadn't thought about it, she wasn't ready for it. She repelled him at the very thought of it, it appeared and she wasn't sure at the moment that she ever would be "ready" for this to happen. Not like that. Not for a long time at least.

"Neither am I," she confirmed gently.

He gave his own small sigh of relief at her words, the air seemed to flex around them as stress she didn't know they'd had in their relationship evaporated. Probably it was because deep down this relationship wasn't based on anything physical. She liked him, she thought he was handsome, and his accent was adorable to her, and she liked kissing him, truly she did, but… Kissing him never made her giggle or go weak in the knees the way that Rumple's had. But it was fine. His kisses were nice. She knew though that his looks and kissing, even the promise of evening activities wasn't what drove this particular relationship for either of them. In fact now that she thought about it she wasn't even sure this relationship was now or ever would go in that direction. Their connections, their attraction…it was different. They saw each other in themselves. They were both attracted to the loss they saw in the other person. And that was just…it was fine.

"Maybe…maybe we could just do what we do best for now," she suggested hoping that he'd truly meant what he said and wouldn't take offense at the suggestion that they stay away from things like…that! They were fine, it was nice this way! But she'd come too close to doing something more that she knew she would have regretted. And she knew he felt it too know.

"Wha' we do bes'…" he scoffed almost bitterly leaning back and making himself comfortable on the couch again. "Wha' exactly is i' again tha' you and I do bes'? Believe in lies? Fall for the bad guys?"

She smirked at the wistful sad comment and moved back to sit next to him and let him extend his hand over her leg. That was about all the progress she was ready to tolerate at the moment. "See the good in others even if it isn't there, believe that we have some secret power to turn those bad guys into good people," she added placing her hand in his, ignoring the way they didn't quite fit as well as hands could, as well as lover's hands should.

But then again, the way that he stared down at their joined hands…maybe she wasn't the only one to think that they didn't fit. Maybe hers felt too big or too small compared to Anastasia's. Maybe this was all that people who had never known true love could ever hope to experience. She was envious that they didn't know there was something better out there. In a perfect world, where magic and good and evil didn't exist, they might have had a chance at true happiness with each other.

"Wish that things were different," she added in a small voice as she leaned her head against his shoulder and stared with him at the anomaly their hands presented, "and believe that reality can still be good if we don't get our wish."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sigh...I know it's hard to read but I really do believe that this chapter is a turning point. At some point I hope you heard the "DING DING DING!" bell go off in your head because she really does start to get it here, that they are forcing a relationship to be more that it is and more than it should be. Not just physically but she's also beginning to get it emotionally, that they are only together because they only see each other in one another. We already saw the beginning of the end but this is...the realization of the end. Maybe she doesn't see it now but I think this is the point that she knows that this won't last and for the first time she compares Will to Rumple in a bad way.
> 
> Thank you for your comments Judymulder and Oncer4Life69Dearie. I do hope even with the touchy subject this was a decent chapter and a natural progression to this "relationship". I really am very sorry A&E chose to do the romance thing with them because one of the redeeming things about this chapter is I do believe they would have made excellent friends. Peace and Happy Reading!


	34. Not Just Fine

She had just about had it with waking up in places that she didn't remember going to sleep in.

Yesterday it had been a bed. Then, she'd woken up in her clothes, a wonderful bed with a gorgeous red comforter, and the smell of bacon sizzling outside the big creamy green room she'd been in. The color of the walls had given it away then and she'd smiled at herself knowing that the crisis had been averted because it was never there to begin with. Out in the kitchen Will was busy making what looked like breakfast for the pair of them, or what should have been breakfast. It was over cooking she could smell it even in the bedroom and she quickly moved around him with a beaming smile to salvage what she could of the meal.

"I didn' know you could cook," he had said behind her. She could hear the smile in his voice.

"Quite well actually. It's one of my favorite past times...when I have the time for it or course, which isn't often."

"You also sleep like the dead," he'd added quickly. "Did you know? Moved ya and nothing, came back from rustlin' us up some breakfast, still ou' cold!"

She smiled again at the memory of Neal and Rumpelstiltskin both informing her of that bad habit. "Yes, you're…you're not the first person to inform me of my handicap." But once she'd thought about it, that thought bothered her. "Last night…" she'd muttered as she handed him his plate. "What happened? I remember talking and then-"

"You gracefully fell asleep," he'd recounted with a bit of a smirk. "I moved ya meself before sackin' ou' on the couch when I couldn' ge' you to wake up. Tried everything I could think of bu'…whiskey and depression'll do tha' to a person."

Whiskey and depression…and her natural ability to sleep through anything. That was more likely the culprit. Although the whiskey probably had had something to do with it upon further examination, and of course depression…well, remembering everything that had happened that day and how early it had been…that was probably to blame for some of it too, she'd conceded. It had been a difficult day.

But this, today...this waking up was different. Then, she'd woken up in some place strange and had no fear, now…she knew exactly where she was, she knew that this was usually a place of great comfort, but she felt nothing but fear. The shop. The back room, on the cot. Why was she here? No, it wasn't completely unlike her to take a nap back here but…not recently! Not when she didn't feel tired or overworked or for that matter when she didn't feel like she wasn't perfectly safe at home! And…she couldn't even remember being in the back room today!

"Will?!" she called out, hoping by chance that his voice would come from the front room, he'd confess that she'd slipped and hit her head and he'd been so worried about her only…nothing but silence answered her call. Nothing was moving. And in this old shop something always creaked or groaned when someone was here just breathing too heavily. She was alone. So then…how?

The last thing that she remembered…was being in the front room. Yes, that was right! She'd said good-bye to Will, grabbed some cloths and a fresh shower from her apartment, and after Rapunzel had told her she could work at the library that morning she'd gone to the pawn shop and gotten to work on trying to find the curse Rumple might have used to bring Maleficent back, though she was quickly becoming convinced that it wasn't magic that existed anywhere beyond his own mind. She squatted down to pull open a cabinet and find more books when…

She'd felt something. Something she'd felt before. She'd felt tired, her eyes had been heavy, the world slow and foggy. A sleeping spell. The same spell that Zelena had once placed her under in the hospital. That was what it had been. But…no one had been in the shop! No one had been there to move her to the cot and-

Put a blanket over her? Haphazardly, as if they'd been rushed...but she was covered. Warm. More than that. Her skirt perfectly covered her legs and when she awoke her arms had been delicately laid out by her sides and her head propped comfortably on the pillow.

Her heart was racing. It was familiar, too familiar. It was almost exactly like the time she'd been placed in a sleeping curse, the time that she'd awoken to discover that he'd caught her and laid her gently on the ground so she wouldn't be hurt. But...she'd fallen this time! She would have already been hurt when he got here. Yes, in fact she vaguely remembered her elbow hitting one of the wooden cases as she'd slept and a sting in her cheek just before she'd lost all consciousness but…

She reached up to feel her cheek. Nothing. Not even a twinge of pain. And her elbow? She moved it, flexed it a bit before probing it with her fingers…nothing. She'd been healed. And she only knew one person who had ever done all of that. Healed her, laid her out delicately and respectfully, one person that would have thought she'd be more comfortable on the cot with a blanket, sleeping gently and restfully as if she'd just laid down to take a nap rather than sprawled out on the pawn shop floor.

Rumpelstiltskin.

He'd been here.

There was no other explanation for it, none that she could think of at least. After all, she supposed it was possible that a stranger had walked in and found her like that, but what stranger would just dump her in the back on the cot and leave without calling for help or staying to make sure she was alright? No one. No one but someone who already knew she'd be alright and hadn't wanted to see her…or get caught.

She looked around the back room frantically. He wasn't here. She knew he wasn't, she'd already determined it was too quiet even for him but…had he left anything for her. A note, a sign…anything?!

Yes. He had. Something small, something no one but her would notice. Space. When she laid out on the cot she liked to sleep in the middle of it, but she was pushed too far over just now. And now that she'd tossed the blanket away she could see it. There was a depression, a ridge in the blankets outlining a place someone had once been. A place that someone had sat beside her as she'd slept. Her husband.

Ex-husband!

She shivered and quickly picked herself up off the cot and straightened the blankets.

He'd been here. He'd cared for her. He'd watched her as she'd slept, his favorite pastime-

NO! No, no, no! This was Rumpelstiltskin, the Dark One! Watching her sleep wasn't his favorite pastime. That had all been a lie. His favorite pastime was magic. That was why he was here! If she mattered at all to him then he would have come to face her in person, not like this. He'd been here not for her, but for magic surely. And while he had he'd let his emotions get away from him or had a brief moment of clarity and kindly left her on the cot. And watched her sleep. Because of magic…

No, if she thought about it too much it all started to come apart and if it all started to come apart…she was itching to see him. Not in the same way that she had when she'd thought he was over the town line, this was different. Now she wanted to understand. She wanted to yell at him. She wanted answers. She wanted to ask him why! Why had he done this? Why was he doing this? Why was he working with them? Why had he tricked her? Why couldn't he have been honest with her for once?! Why…why hadn't she ever been enough for him?

She'd never know. She wouldn't know because she couldn't. She couldn't know. She couldn't go after him, she couldn't see him…and it was a good thing that she'd been asleep when he'd been here. Love, their love…it was her weakness. Curiosity, asking questions, wanting answers, they only thing it had ever given her was sympathy for him. It told her it was alright to be with him when things weren't right and too often was the reason she found herself in his arms, or married to him, when she should have used better judgement. She had to stay away from him. He once told her that she was his greatest weakness and his greatest strength. She'd thought she'd understood that before. Now she knew that she hadn't, because it made sense now. All of it.

The bell in the front room rang and for a moment she lifted her head, hope filling her veins because he'd finally come back to her-

"Belle!"

Will.

"Belle, where are you?!" he shouted, worry lacing his voice.

"I'm fine!" she called taking heavy steps to the front room, trying to ignore the drop in her heart. He was still the first thing she thought of. Still the first thing that she hoped for. Was she doomed to have a broken heart forever? "I'm here!" she cried out as Will rushed forward and swallowed her up in a hug. She did her best to conceal her tears from him. To wipe them on his leather jacket, over his shoulder where they would dry before he could see. But she could. They were there, a smear of wrong thoughts. She really wasn't being fair to him at all.

"Are you alright?!" he questioned, pulling away from her and holding onto her shoulders, examining her face and body.

"Yes…" she breathed with a nod. "Yes, I'm just…what happened?"

"Don' know," he answered finally releasing her. "I was on me way over to see you this afternoon and the next thing I know it's nigh' time and I'm waking up with a bunch of strangers on the ground!" Night time. She looked over his shoulder into the blackness outside the windows. Was that how long she'd been asleep? How much of that time had he spent here? In this shop? Watching her? "I 'eard someone say i' was a sleeping curse and I came righ' over. I though' i' was you he'd come for firs', but…you're fine. You are fine, righ'?"

She was trying to catch up, to move herself over the fact that even he knew Rumple would have come to see her. But she was fine. Wasn't she fine? Was that what he meant? "Fine?" she questioned. Could he see? Did he realize-

"Nothing 'urt? No bumps? No bruises? I saw some nasty ones on the way over."

"Oh," she moved her body, but she already knew the answer. Nothing hurt now. But it should have. And he…he didn't need to know that. "No," she finally concluded. "No, I'm…"

Something caught her eye, something sitting on the counter just over Will's shoulder, something she hadn't noticed and something that shouldn't have been there. A rose. A second one. Sitting properly and perfectly in a vase identical to the one she'd put Will's rose in. The rose she'd thought Will had given her. She did her best not to let her body shake as she looked it over, not to burst into tears at her foolishness or just her stubbornness at not seeing it earlier.

"Belle? Belle, you're scarin' me. What's 'urt?" Will pushed.

"Nothing," she lied quietly, unable to take her eyes off of the rose he'd left for her. "Nothing, I'm fine. Just…just fine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Creepy fact, I couldn't get the song "London Bridge is Falling Down" out of my head when I wrote this chapter. It's just too perfect. All the time, all those weeks, Rumple was away and I truly do believe she built up a wall around herself that not even Will could get through. She's known Rumple is in town for only about two days at this point already that wall is cracking and toppling down. And she hasn't even been face to face with him yet! Well...not face to...you know...his face.
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	35. Haunted Women

Brushstrokes were a blessing. The feeling of fingers on her back were what her body was used to and so even if it had been nearly two months since she last felt them part of her still expected to find them there every time she woke up. But that feeling wasn't normal anymore. The shrill of the alarm calling her from sleep, forcing her to fling herself up in the morning and get to work before she could go back to sleep, that was her new normal! But this…this wasn't normal.

Her back itched. Not a real itch, like the scratching of skin. It itched in an unnerving way, woke her before the alarm could go off, and made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up and her body tingle. It was a feeling she knew, one she was overly sensitive too from decades in the asylum with Regina paying her small unexpected visits. It was the feeling of being watched.

The moment she arrived at that conclusion her fingers sought out the bottle of freezing potion she'd taken to sleeping with underneath her pillow and she opened her eyes pushed herself up ready to throw the potion and escape and found…

Nothing.

It was empty. And the feeling she'd had…it was suddenly gone too.

Yet, the raised goosebumps were still there on her arms and just because the feeling was gone didn't mean she believed what she saw with her eyes, not anymore, not after the week she'd had. Her eyes had landed on the chair that they had always kept against the far wall, the one that faced the bed, the one he often sat in to put on socks and tie his shoes when he got dressed in the morning. There was a depression in the cushion, but…that could have been there the entire time, an old memory from the last time he'd sat in it months ago. Couldn't it? When was the last time she'd sat in it?

She tore her gaze off the chair and pushed herself out of bed, trying to ignore the feeling of vibration in her body as she opened the door, stepped out into the long hall and up to the railing that over looked the first floor.

Nothing.

She knew what this house sounded and felt like when it was empty and right now there wasn't another soul here with her.

She could go down and check the basement, in fact it appeared she was going down to check the basement before she'd ever given herself permission to but she knew what she'd find before she even got there. It was empty as well. Boxes, tables, books, wheels, all exactly where she'd left them, just like when she arrived back in their room and glanced at his chair-

Her room. After two months she wouldn't think she'd have to keep reminding herself and she usually didn't but these last few days, with the confirmation that he was here, somewhere in town, with the visit he'd paid her in the shop as she slept…

So she'd had a small setback. She wouldn't let that stop her now. It was her room. Her house, her car, her bed. Her chair. And if she didn't want it placed there then she could just move it into the sitting room!

Determined, she strode forward, picked the thing up and marched it around the corner, dropping it against the wall, far from where she'd never have to see it when she woke up again! But still that cushion! She was being silly, imagining things, he wouldn't come back here in the middle of the night and take advantage of her heavy sleeping. Then again, watching her sleep…he always did love to do that. The locks had been changed since the last time he'd been here but for the Dark One that wasn't really a problem. He wouldn't have? Would he?

She reached out, her hand shaking, afraid of what she might find, until she simply touched the back of the chair. Cool. No trace of body heat like someone had ever been sitting there…except for that cushion.

Frustrated, she shook her head, snatched the cushion up, and shook it so that when she returned it to the chair the depression was gone. There! Now she didn't need to wonder. Now she'd-

She felt herself jump and nearly loose her footing at the shrill alarm beeping at her from the bed. Heart racing she sped off to shut the ridiculous thing off before sitting down on the side of the bed in the silence and catching her breath. She was being paranoid. Ridiculous, really. She'd had six weeks of peace, albeit, six weeks of tortured peace, but now she felt like she was four again! Questioning the existence of ghosts in her haunted pink house. Only it wasn't a ghost. It was her-

The Dark One. No. He hadn't been here. He wouldn't. Would he? Stalk her in their hom-her home! Not his. Hers. She'd taken great care to make it hers and she had the paperwork to prove it belonged to her. He wasn't going to scare her away from it! But that only mattered if he'd been here. Which he hadn't. Had he?

Ridiculous. She was being ridiculous and she needed to get to work. So without another thought she moved into the bathroom and ran the water for her shower, picked clothes out of the closet, and went to work. Rapunzel was in the library this morning and that was just fine with her because there was something that needed done at the shop. It was time to clean up.

She started with those roses. Sweet smelling and perfectly healthy. They were almost magical and when she considered who they came from…they probably were magical. She threw them both in the trash. In the outside garbage can, just for good measure. She didn't know what they were supposed to mean, if it was a warning that he was stalking her, if he was taunting her for just giving up the dagger, or even…even…dare she think they were just given to her out of kindness? Was it possible that they were simply a sweet gesture that he would have done any other day, a small token to tell her that he still loved her? No. No, it wasn't that. It couldn't be. If she meant anything to him, if he was here to try and get her back, if he was here to talk to her then he would have done just that…talk! He would have seen her without a mask instead of sneaking around and manipulating her again. She didn't know why he was here, but it didn't really matter to her. It wasn't good.

She did her best to forget about the roses and move on to the bigger, and yet easier, task at hand. Books.

She'd given it her best shot, spent days on end looking for a spell or ritual or anything that could even hint at how Maleficent had gone from a pile of dust to living and breathing in Storybrooke. But she'd found nothing. If it wasn't in his books, then she was convinced that the spell didn't exist anywhere but his own mind and asking him was out of the question. Maybe, if she got the chance later today she'd venture up to the convent and see if the fairies knew anything about it but she wasn't hopeful and frankly she just didn't feel like it was a pressing priority anymore. Emma had asked her to find that spell but she'd never really asked about it again. And now, things being what they were in town, did it really matter how he'd done it? Maybe. There might be a weakness to the spell. But she was sure that there were also weaknesses to Maleficent herself that would be much easier to figure out than hunting for something that didn't exist. That would be her next task. But before she started another she had to end this one. The books she'd used had to go away before she could determine which ones to keep out and keep-

"Oh! Um…" There was someone in the store. Someone she recognized that had snuck up on her. Today was not the day for jokes like that. Nevertheless she smiled and tried to laugh off her jumpy reaction as she glanced at the door.

"Regina I uh…I didn't hear you come in," she smiled, motioning to the door, hoping that maybe next time she'd use it instead of magic. She really needed to get something more efficient than that bell to alert her when people were coming into the store. Half the time people came and went by magic and that bell did her little good. Especially since they were rarely good.

"You're ex-husband as done quite a number on me Belle," the mayor sneered, looking her over with contempt.

She felt her smile vanish at her words. Yes, thinking her new normal life was something she would hold onto forever…that had been a nice dream. "Oh. I'm, uh…I'm sorry to hear that."

"And now he wants me to work with him," she glared at her. She was trying to stay calm, to remember that this wasn't her fight, she had no control over what Rumpelstiltskin did, in fact she'd done everything she could to cast him out of this town! Everything except hold onto that dagger and keep it protected…just as Regina had warned her to do months ago. And now…now she really did have no control over what Rumpelstiltskin did, leaving him free to do as he pleased here in Storybrooke. And it appeared what he pleased was going back to hounding Regina. She was doing so well, with Henry and Emma, working with Rumple...that couldn't be good for her. She wasn't actually considering it, was she? Is that why she was here? To get her opinion?

"Ah, well I'm sure that would be a mistake," she warned.

"I know it is," Regina admitted. Something was off about her, different than when she'd last seen her. Although she and Regina had never really been close she knew her well enough to know when things weren't right for her, when she was too tense and stressed. And if things weren't right for her…she didn't want to get involved, to be anywhere near where Rumpelstiltskin might be in this town but…if she hadn't given the dagger away in the first place Regina wouldn't be in this mess. No wonder she looked angry with her. This was all her fault. But maybe there was something she could do to help her. Something that didn't involve meeting Rumpelstiltskin face to face because she was sure that wouldn't do her any good. But still, maybe there was something…

How can I help?" she asked, scared and excited all at the same time. Regina wasn't fond of nice little talks. Help was what she had come in here for. Therefore, she must have had something in mind, she just wanted to know what it was.

Sure enough the Evil Queen gave a smirk that made her shiver and think about where she had those potions hidden around the room. "I'm glad you asked," she said in a voice that was too sweet to be genuine. She took a small step back, remembering a freezing potion she had stashed somewhere behind her, wondering if Rumple's magic would work on him because she suddenly didn't feel like she was talking to the Regina she-

"AH!" Before she could process what had happened, Regina had reached forward. It felt like she'd punched a hole through her chest, broken her ribs, cut open her muscles…and then the pain was gone. A hand over her heart told her that her skin was whole and nothing was broken but she was still working on getting her heart to beat normal again, still trying to remember how to breath. "Regina…what..." when she finally picked up her head she knew exactly what had happened. And she hadn't felt fear like this since she'd been shackled to her bed in that tower, knowing day and night that Regina could order her dead at any moment and she'd be powerless to stop it. No, this was worse.

In the palm of Regina's hand, her heart glowed bright and red, a healthy specimen for any spell. Or the perfect tool for revenge. Rumple had hurt Regina. If Regina wanted to hurt him…crushing that heart and ending her life, just as she'd intended long ago, was the perfect way to do it. How had they ended up back here after all these years?

"Regina…please!" she begged, standing at full height, trying to sound as reasonable as she could. This wasn't the Evil Queen, not anymore, Regina had changed! Maybe she could be reasoned with. Maybe she could remind her. "Please, you're better than this. Think about Henry and-"

"Quiet," she ordered into the heart. She heard the word in her mind, a small but powerful voice in the back of her head that made her close her mouth and when she tried to open it…she couldn't. "I am better than this. But this is bigger than you and me now. It involves people we both love and I need you to do something for me."

"Regina," her words shocked her. She didn't know when she'd given her back her ability to speak but she was happy she had, and shocked that apparently she didn't need to speak the order out loud. No. She could talk. Right now, she needed to talk to the Regina she knew. "Regina, please…you don't need that. You know that I'll help you, I've always helped no matter what you needed."

"I need this!" she said holding the heart in front of her. "I don't expect you to understand why. But I do. And now I need you to do something for me. Something I'm certain you don't want to do, something to help Emma."

Something she didn't want to do? So…so she was just going to force her to do it, without even asking her first? And if Emma needed it... "Why me?" she asked her. "Why not David or Mary Margaret?"

"Because!" Regina yelled before closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. Several deep breaths before opening her eyes and looking at her again with a look she knew. Ghosts. Something was haunting her. Eating at her, leading her to no other choice but this one. Those decisions were never good decisions. "I think you're the only one that can do what I have in mind."

"Then why not just ask? I've always helped before you don't have to…take my heart, and force me to help you."

"Haven't you been listening?!" she growled. "I _need_ this too. Because you doing this for me is only half of what I need. This is the other half," she explain, motioning to her own heart. Clearly she thought she was making sense but it all just sounded like gibberish to her. She needed her heart. She needed her heart not to control her she just…needed her heart? No part of this plan sounded good or well thought out to her. And it certainly didn't sound safe to her. "You're going to have to trust me for this," Regina whispered suddenly, looking her over with the intense look that she might actually trust on a normal day. But one glance at her heart in her hand…this wasn't a normal day.

"That's difficult to do when you reach into my chest and remove my heart without so much as a warning!" she spat back

"I know…so I'm going to make it easier on you…" Before she could ask her what that was supposed to mean she watched as she raised the heart to her mouth once again and whispered. "You're going to forget that I have this, this entire talk, you are going to forget I was ever here and you are going to go on a little walk because you want to see-"

There was a voice, a small thought in the back of her head, rising growing greater with every second. If she hadn't been here all morning she would have thought she wasn't alone but she knew she was. And there was something she needed to do, somewhere she needed to go.

Enough of this. Enough being afraid he might be around every corning watching her, enough tricks and games, enough trying to find answers that didn't exist, enough roses, and enough lies! It was time for her to get the answers that she'd been waiting too long for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there are two theories on this scene. Did Belle know Regina took her heart? Did she volunteer? Or was she unwilling and ignorant. Obviously I went with the second theory because even as understanding as I think Belle is, I think that if Regina told her that she was going to see Rumple she would have tried to find another way to help her. I just didn't think it suited her for where she's at with Rumple and her feelings for him. "Oh yeah sure Regina you can borrow my heart I totally trust you and the other evil witch that tried to kill me with it before to not kill me or misuse it!" Yeah, totally not where she was at. So where do we go from here? Only tomorrow will tell!
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	36. Frequently Asked Questions

Oh, she didn't know why she was doing this. She didn't know at what point she'd decided that this had gone from an idea to a reality, but she knew that she had to do it. She'd gone too long without knowing, too long deserving answers that never came. She couldn't figure out how he'd managed to raise Maleficent, she wanted to know how he'd done it, she wanted to know why he was working with them, she wanted to know what he was planning, she wanted to know how he felt about her, if he thought about her, if she was even a small part of the reason he'd come home…she wanted to know how she felt. She wanted to know a lot. And she knew how to get her answers.

She didn't have the dagger anymore, but she knew how to summon him, a small piece of magic he'd once told her about in another world that she'd once dismissed was now at the forefront of her mind again. If she ever needed him she only had to say his name three times and he'd be by her side in an instant. This well, this place that she'd ever only known joy, the first place that they'd kissed here in this land, the place they'd been married…it was more than a well to her and she hoped for him too.

And apparently to the people of this town as well! Lacey's knowledge of the local lore told her that this well wasn't just a well, it was magical, as he'd once said it had the ability to return what someone had lost. And that was what she was counting on, because if she could have one thing back, one thing returned to her, she knew what she wanted. She wanted her husband back. The man she'd fallen in love with, the man that she'd married in this spot, who loved her and his son above all else, the man that wanted so desperately to be more man than beast for her! Could this well do that? Could it give her more than just the answers that she felt she needed to retrieve? She took a deep breath. There was only one way to find out.

"Rumpelstiltskin," she breathed looking into its depths. "Rumpelstiltskin." Her heart was racing, her bravery was ebbing for a moment she had a thought that she couldn't do this but a voice in the back of her head told her to say it once more. So she did. "Rumpelstiltskin."

Nothing happened.

No puff of smoke, no voice, no eyes. Maybe it didn't work here like she thought. Maybe it couldn't-

No, a whisper in the back of her mind told her it would. She only needed to try again.

"Rumpelstiltskin, Rumpelstiltskin, Rumple-"

"Hello, Belle."

If her nerves were only tingling up until this point they were on fire now. Her body shook the moment that she turned to face him and found his gaze locked on hers. He was here. Back in Storybrooke, unhurt, unbroken, whole! Well. That wasn't entirely true. He looked haunted. It was that same look he'd had throughout their marriage, the one she'd assumed came from nightmares and the past. Now she knew, that look came from constantly worrying about the future. It was a product of his present, not his past. Though she wondered if he still had nightmares when he slept. If he slept at all! She wondered if he was sleeping enough without her, if he was eating, if he was taking care of himself the way she so often knew he didn't when he was on his own. That had always been her job. She was the caretaker.

"Hello," she finally managed to choke out as she realized that her own thoughts and the tears in her eyes had already given her the answer to one of her most essential questions.

One look and she already knew that she still loved him.

He looked awkward. Standing there, watching her, with nothing to say. He was just waiting. Waiting for her to begin. He looked at her like he never wanted to look away but at the same time he looked like he wished he wasn't there. Conflicted. Was this as difficult for him as it was for her? All this time…what had they done to themselves?

"This is a curios place to meet," he commented finally, his hand motioning uncomfortably as he scanned the place for barely a second before looking back at her.

Yes, it was a curios place for an uncomfortable meeting but…there was a reason for that. Reason. She'd nearly forgotten that there was a reason she was here, on this hillside, looking at him. Suddenly she was itching to get on with it, feeling as though it was the most important thing in the world when she knew that she'd be happy just to stare at him, trapped in an in between moment for as long as possible. She needed the man that he'd once been here with her now. She was hoping that being here would remind him of that man. And she was hoping it wouldn't make her forget who she was now either.

"Do you uh…do you remember what you told me here the night of our vows?" she questioned, hoping to see a flicker of recognition in his eyes. "How I chased all the darkness out of you?" There it was. That look in his eyes the same one that he'd had that night, it was still there. And then it was gone again. Concealed behind a mask she knew all too well. How she'd hoped she'd seen the last of that mask!

"Belle, look I…I'm sorry for everything-"

"No!" she interrupted shaking her head and looking up to find somehow she'd taken steps to bring herself closer to him. This was why she'd tried to stay away so long. No matter what happened they always ended up together again. But right now…she didn't want his excuses, or his apologies. She couldn't trust those anymore. All she wanted was to know why. If he wouldn't tell her, then she didn't know who else he'd tell his secrets to and she had to get those secrets, it was of utmost importance for everything to work! "No apologies today. For once in my life I just want the truth.

"Why are you here Rumple? Are you, are you trying to win me back or…?"

"It's a bit more complicated than that," he answered. She wasn't sure what she felt about that answer. It wasn't "no" but it wasn't a flat out "yes" either. And no matter if it was "yes" or "no"…she didn't know which answer she'd wanted to begin with. But complicated. What was complicated about it? That was the key. She had to know the complication! She was still trying to find the words, and the courage, to ask him about that when she saw him make a familiar gesture. No. Not a familiar gesture. He placed his hand over his chest, that she'd seen him do plenty when he was trying to make a point but this was different. It wasn't just on his chest...it was in his chest.

His heart. It had to be. She knew it worked like that but she'd never actually seen it done! Only…was _that_ his heart? She'd read all about this and hearts, the magical copies, they were supposed to be red. But this...it was like a lump of coal, or maybe a dying ember as she saw a flicker of color but still...only a flicker. A black heart, not red! Well, that meant… "Rumple!" she breathed recalling a small sentence she'd read what felt like a lifetime ago. She knew what blackness in a heart symbolized. She'd never thought it could be this bad.

"It seems that centuries of dark deeds do take their toll." Dark deeds. Yes, that was what she'd read. Dark deeds turned the heart black but…what happened to completely black hearts? She couldn't remember if she'd ever read that in her books and suddenly she wished she had. What did this mean for him?! For the town? For them... "And all that's left of it, is this." She watched as he turned the heart over in his hand and she saw it. Oh, she'd always known that she and Neal had a special place in his heart. But she hadn't known they had literally.

One little flicker of red.

That was the small hint of color she'd seen. That was all that was left. A place for her? For Henry? For the man she loved, the man she always believed he could be. "And pretty soon…that'll be gone too."

"Well…" Gone. What did he mean "gone"? What happened if it disappeared? Had she made it worse by sending him over the town line? "Will...will you die?" The words tasted like poison. No. He couldn't. He couldn't die and she couldn't have this conversation with him! She'd only just brought him back, she couldn't live with herself if he died again. Especially if she'd had any part of it. She loved him too much to let that happen. A flicker of red wasn't much good, but it was enough to fight for!

"In a manner of speaking yes. I will lose any ability to love," he confessed. "And that goodness that you once saw inside of me...all that will be gone forever."

Her stomach rolled over as shock passed over her. He wouldn't love anymore. Not Henry, not Neal…not her?! Not at all? But his love…that was what made him…him! That was what set him apart from any man she'd ever known, any Dark One the world had ever encountered! No one loved like he did. His love…it kept the Dark One at bay. Oh, another terrible thought was already rolling around in her head, a terrifying one. What if there was no Rumpelstiltskin to keep the beast within in check? This was too much. Far worse news than she'd ever expected to come out of this conversation. It was so much to take in, too much at one time! But she couldn't leave or seem to do anything shock appeared to have welded her to the floor of the forest as she watched him remorsefully gaze at the lump in his hand.

"There's only one man who can reverse this process. And that's the author. That's why I'm here in Storybrooke."

He was telling the truth. She knew from the look on his face that he was telling the truth and she felt a small flutter in her chest knowing that she had the answers she'd come here to get! It all made sense. Not all of it of course, it didn't answer why he was working with those terrible woman, but why he was here...it all fit together. If he found the author, he could reverse his heart, he could keep the Dark One contained…and they might have another chance at their happiness. They needed that and she wanted it more than anything. But he was right. It was complicated.

Suddenly he hunched over and shivered as he placed his blackened heart back into his chest and she felt herself step away at the sight of it all the while wanting to be closer, to cure it. She knew this would happen. One conversation and she was already poised to begin again and work with him to fix all of this. If only he'd told her from the beginning…

"I don't expect you to understand, of course," he whispered harshly, his face twisted in discomfort. He was in pain. Did it hurt? His heart? Because hers did. It had every moment since the clock tower and those words…of course he didn't expect her to understand. He'd never expected her to stay.

"But I…I-I do understand." She understood he was in trouble. She understood that she'd do whatever it was that he needed to help. She understood that she'd do whatever she had to do to help so that his heart didn't become anymore black than it already was.

"You do?" he questioned after a moment, looking absolutely amazed.

Oh, tears poured out of her eyes at that question because there was a time that they both knew that they were the only two people in the world to understand one another. How could she have forgotten that? How could she have left him alone in this world, like Milah and Cora, how could she have ever given up on him, on them.

"Sometimes I worry…" she cried. "I worry I threw out the chipped tea cup too soon."

Something was wrong. She wasn't sure what it was but...something was wrong. Why...why would she say something like that? Her tea cup...she hadn't thrown it away it was in the basement! And she'd never pretend as though she had, that meant too much to both of them to joke about in that way!

But then it didn't matter. How could it? Maybe it was just a slip of the tongue. Her own way of not yet admitting that she made a mistake by casting him out, but showing that she regretted it in the end. He'd never been able to stay away when she cried, his instinct was always going to be to comfort her in any way possible. And that was a good thing because when he cried too, she couldn't keep herself away from him. So when he stepped forward for her, she didn't push him away or take a step back, she reached out and let them fall into each other's arms just as they always had.

His kisses. She could get lost in their kisses. Her heart raced, her fever grew, and all she wanted was to lose herself to him, to have him take them back home and begin to sort this mess out for themselves again, together just as they should have done months ago, before something bad happened.

But then she pushed him away. And she couldn't quite figure out why. That itch in her skull-logic maybe-it told her to stop only…she didn't want to stop. He didn't either, she could see it written there plain as day on his face as he looked at her, feel it in his hands as he held her! So why had they stopped?! Why had she pushed-

"You know what the problem is though?" she felt herself ask. She felt…something _was_ wrong. Very wrong, and she knew it wasn't a slip of the tongue or mind…because there was no problem…there was her and him…so what was happening? Why couldn't he see something was wrong with her! She was under a spell or a- "Will is just such a better kisser than you are." No! She wanted to scream to shout to yell! Not tell him horrendous lies like this right when they were on the cusp of-

"Wh-what?!" He was hurt. He looked like she'd slapped him and she knew she had only it wasn't her why-

"You're pathetic!" the words were coming from her mouth, the voice was hers, but it wasn't her! He had to know that! Couldn't he see it in her eyes?! Were her eyes working the way she wanted them to?! "Watching you come groveling back to me it's like a dog begging for scraps!"

"Why are you saying this?" he asked, looking her over confused. He had to know. She'd never say these things to her worst enemy let alone him! "This isn't like you, Belle!" He knew. He had to know. This wasn't like her at all, and she didn't know who was responsible but he had to know and get her out of this!

Silence. She couldn't speak, no matter how much she wanted to speak she couldn't, she couldn't apologize or explain and she couldn't reach out and touch him either. She couldn't do anything. The messages she was screaming at her body just weren't getting there or they were overpowered by-

"But it is so like me!" a voice from over his shoulder growled. If she was capable of tears she would have cried at the sound of that voice because it was like a slap in the face.

Regina. Regina was doing this?! How?

Why?!

How could she be using her again like this?! They may not exactly be friends but...weren't they beyond this?! After everything in the last year, why would she...

Her heart.

It had to be.

When Rumple turned around she could see one sitting in the palm of her hand. Bright and red, glowing in plain sight, unlike his own. The sight of it stopped her thoughts and made her feel like she was swimming through molasses. It had to be hers, there was no other explanation for what was happening here! Not to mention she had this odd feeling about it. Like there was a string of light attached to it, or maybe just a magnet. And the other end was in her chest, pulling agonizing to have it put back where it belonged! But…it was hers without a doubt, so when had she taken it? How had she gotten it? Why was Regina doing this to her? To them? Hadn't Henry once told her it was because of them Regina had hope in herself and Robin Hood?

She wanted to ask! She wanted to talk to her but she must have commanded her to be still and silent. She could do nothing but watch in horror as the Evil Queen rounded on them. Her fear eased slightly knowing he'd protect her just as he always did, but still...her heart! What if she squeezed it?

"Regina?" he hissed.

Regina's only response was to hold her heart to her mouth and speak into it. "Now forget all this and run along home!"

She really should be getting home. Home.

Yes, home, that one thought echoed through her mind above all as she looked around. Why was she out walking in the woods by herself in the first place? With Rumpelstiltskin around? Lying in wait?! Home was much safer for her. It was a good thing she'd already thought to go home before deciding she wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, what did you think. It was a difficult scene to write I'll give you that much but in the end there wasn't too much editing to do, even after that Comic con interview. Hopefully you could sense wisps of Regina's desire throughout and not only Belles. Her's usually come second. For example, she only thinks of their fate together after she's thought of getting answers from Rumpelstiltskin. And there were other things, not knowing when she makes decisions, or how she's done something, and of course the tea cup...here's the thing, maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think Belle has ever referred to it as "the chipped tea cup". Only "her chipped cup". And frankly, if the producers really did have her throw it out and it never makes another appearance I'm pretty sure there are going to be a lot of upset Rumbellers out there. And yeah, I could write it as she's speaking metaphorically and all that jazz and at a certain point she thinks of that, but I figured the way I did it kinda covers all my bases. This way, in future seasons if the cup returns, it's written in that she didn't throw it away. And...I suppose...if it ever comes up again that she did throw it away and it was more than a metaphor (DON'T DO IT! Anyone wanna start a "chip lives" campaign with me) I know where I have to go to edit it.
> 
> Thank you for your comments on the last chapter Judymulder. I'll be interested to see what ya'll think about this chapter because I know how long ya'll have been waiting for it. I do hope that it doesn't disappoint, I did my best with it! Peace and Happy Reading!


	37. A Strange Lack of Feelings

She jumped at the sound of the door slamming behind her.

The door.

The door to her house?

She looked around and though she knew that she'd always been able to see it, though she knew it had been on her mind for a while...she was mesmerized by the sight of being in her entry way. She was home. She was home? In the middle of the day? Yes. She glanced behind her, out the window and saw daylight, a far different sight than the darkness she usually returned home to. And so where...

Where was her bag? And her gloves!

They were dirty. Damp soil, from the garden right by the front of the house coated her fingers and palms.

The keys in her hand.

They weren't her keys they were the spare keys the ones that she'd buried out back so long ago!

She'd dug them up?!

Because she didn't have hers? But then…

Her car?! Out in the driveway…

The driveway was empty! So…

She'd walked home? Without her bag and without her keys she'd just...decided to walk home and leave her car in town?! Leave her bag in town?

Her heart was racing, she felt flush, nervous…scared. She couldn't remember walking home! She couldn't remember ever deciding to come home! She remembered…what did she remember? Her head was spinning, spinning so badly that it hurt. Oh, it hurt so much it made her sick and dizzy.

She stopped thinking about it. Instead she managed to stumble into the living room and fall ungracefully onto the couch. She let herself lay back and held her hands over her face, shielding her eyes from the light as she waited for the sickness she felt to pass. It was difficult, but she managed. In the end she managed to close her eyes and think about nothing but her breathing. In and out. In and out. In and out. Slowly her stomach settled. Eventually she was able to calm her racing heartbeat. And finally her headache dulled and disappeared so that she was able to open her eyes again.

Timidly she sat up. She was fine. She was calm again, though her body was still flushed with the panic she'd felt, she didn't want to think about it again. Part of her was afraid of the answer she'd get another part afraid that she'd feel sick once more, but she knew that she had to think of it again. She needed to! So she tried to think of it in another way. She couldn't remember. A large portion of her day was just gone! So she wouldn't try to remember what she'd clearly forgotten. Instead she would have to settle for starting somewhere else. For example, remembering what she knew. Maybe that would tell her how much time she was missing.

She remembered getting up that morning. She remembered being worried about that silly chair, ridiculous now that she had this to worry about. She remembered leaving, going to work, and trying to figure out where to begin for the day. She could remember deciding to give up on finding whatever had brought Maleficent back from her former state and focus on finding something else to weaken her. She remembered putting the books away so she could start fresh and she remembered…walking in the door, here at home. So that was it. That was where she lost her memory. So from this morning to…she glanced at the clock and her mouth fell open. It was passed lunch time. Hours. She'd had hours stolen from her!

How? Why? Who?!

Her jaw fell open. She knew who. It was obvious. He had been here last night. And…and he'd done something to her. He must have. Something effecting her right now! She covered her mouth with her hands and reminded herself to keep breathing so she wouldn't get sick. What had he scratched out of her mind? Had they talked? Had he told her something that he didn't want her to know? Or had they done something? Had he made her do something? Something terrible? Or was it something out of protection. Using magic to manipulate her as opposed to using his charm and their relationship wasn't exactly a huge leap to take. But…what had she missed?!

Oh she was falling apart again. She'd been trying so hard to keep herself together but she just coming apart at the seams despite herself. And she knew that she should call Will. But she didn't have her cell phone, because it was in her bag, probably still in the shop. Oh, what was she supposed to do? Go back to the shop? Get her things? Pretend it had never happened? She wasn't sure what to do. So she did nothing. She stayed in limbo, she wasn't sure for how long. One minute she'd get up and the next minute she'd sit back down again. For a moment she was determined to go back into town and try and talk to Granny, to Will, to Emma, anyone who might have seen her that day so she could try and put the pieces back together. But the moment that her headache threatened to come back she knew that was a bad idea. Honestly even if she did go into town she wasn't sure that she trusted herself to drive back here. She wasn't sure she should even be in the shop right now. Not if he could find her. Was this house even safe?!

A noise made her jump up from her place on the stairs, the place she'd been for the last hour at least trying to figure out where to be. She knew that sound. It was…the phone. She bolted off the stairs and back into the kitchen. She'd all but forgotten that there was a landline in this house and in the shop. She hadn't had any need to use a land line since he'd gotten her the cell phone. But now-

"Hello?"

"Thank goodness!" Will's voice cried on the other end.

"What…what's wrong? What's happened?"

"What's wrong? Shouldn' I be asking you tha'?"

"What?"

"Where the 'ell are you?" he snapped. "I came over to get you for lunch, the store is open, your things are still 'ere, the car is gone! I waited for a while to see if you were 'elping with the 'Enry situation but when I went over to see Granny she said that according to Mary Margaret it's been 'andled! I've been lookin' everywhere for ya. If I didn't get you at 'ome I probably would 'ave called David and organized a search party."

Deep breaths. She had to take deep breaths because she was struggling to put everything together. Will was at the shop. Her bag was there. He'd thought that she was helping with Henry so he hadn't called earlier.

Henry. What happened with Henry? "Wait, wait," she breathed, wondering if it was the spell making her feel sluggish. "What happened with Henry?"

"Blimey you don' know?!" he shouted. "The entire town is talkin' about it. Where 'ave you been?!"

"Um…home," she answered.

"Obviously, what 'appened? Its no' like you to leave in the middle of the day. And your bag-"

"I…I don't know…I uh…I just started feeling really sick and wanted to go home so…I came home." Honestly she didn't have a clue why she was lying to him, why she didn't want to tell him. She should have. Now would have been the perfect time to invite him over and have him stand guard to make sure she didn't lose any more time…but she didn't want him here. Maybe that was why she didn't want to tell him. She knew he'd be over in a flash.

"Did you know you lef' the shop open? Did you know your bag was still 'ere? Your keys-"

"No, I uh…I honestly haven't thought about it…I just…I'm not feeling well." That wasn't a complete lie. She wasn't feeling well. And it wasn't just physically. But that didn't matter now. How she was feeling was irrelevant. What had Rumple done to their grandson?!

"What happened to Henry? Is he alright? Did Rumple-"

"Nah, it wasn' 'im, it was the other one. Cruella DeVille." That named made her feel sick for a completely different reason. Out of the three of them that woman scared her the most and if Henry had been involved...

"Will, what did she do to him?"

"Nothin', as it turns out. She kidnapped 'im but 'e's back 'ome now. Safe and sound from wha' I 'eard."

"What she just…let him go?" she found that hard to believe.

"No, she…she's dead actually." Dead. Cruella DeVille…she was dead. She didn't know whether to feel ecstatic about that or start panicking again. A horrible thought crossed her mind just then. Was that why she couldn't remember? Had Rumple had her do something to her? Or...had she done something to save Henry and he'd spared her memories because he knew she couldn't live with it? Was he hiding his own protection from her?

"How?" she asked quickly. "What happened? How did she die?"

There was silence on the other end for a long time, or maybe it was a short time, she just knew that it was far too long. "Emma killed 'er," he whispered just before she could force the words out of her mouth. Emma killed her. Emma…Emma killed someone! Cruella! Had Emma ever killed anyone before? Could the Savior do that?! "I don' know wha' 'appened exactly. But I 'eard she came close to killin' 'im and Emma used 'er magic to stop 'er. Sent 'er over a cliff."

That was…dark. Especially for Emma. And it was a lot to take in all at once. At least she thought that this was all at once. Had she known about this before she'd gotten home? Was she supposed to know about it before this? "Were they looking for me? Did they call me to help or…anything? Check my phone." If they'd called her to help with Henry and she hadn't responded, or if she had-

"I'm usin' your phone. It was the first thing I checked. You 'ave no messages." She should feel sad, she should feel a sinking in her chest at that news. They hadn't called her! Henry had been in trouble and they hadn't asked her to help. Not even to babysit Neal?! Because they didn't trust her? Now that Rumple was back and she didn't have the dagger they didn't need her? They just wanted to give her useless tasks like finding impossible spells to keep her busy?

"Belle?"

"You know…there was a time that they would have called me. A time not long ago when they would have stopped by the shop first thing to see if we could help, if I could help. I guess that's done now," she realized, trying to remember the last time that she'd seen any of the Charmings or Regina. It hadn't been since Hook had stopped by because he needed Will. Not her. Emma had asked her to figure out how Maleficent had come back but…that had been days before and now it was obvious she really didn't care for that information.

"We don' know that they didn' stop by. Maybe they came after you'd gone? You left the Pawn Shop open-"

"How long have you been there?"

"Couple'a 'ours. I thought I'd catch you when you go' back before I really started to worry-"

"They haven't been there," she concluded. David was a natural investigator. If he'd walked in and seen her bag there and shop open without her, he'd have put things together.

"You're not startin to think 'e got the friends in the divorce again are ya?" Will muttered sadly.

In the divorce? There had been no divorce, something she wasn't even sure Will knew about or not. But then again that wasn't an issue. He hadn't had "the friends" in the divorce. She felt like he'd always had them. "I think it's more like he got the friends in the marriage. Even when we were together it was never me that they wanted or needed…only him. His stuff, his magic, his shop. I was just…convenient I guess."

"Come on now…you know that's not true. If you weren' sick and down you wouldn' be saying tha' and you know i'." Wouldn't she? She felt so strange. Like a light had gone out from inside her. She felt like she knew he was right, but she didn't feel like he was right. So…did that make him right?. Maybe it was just remnants of today. Her memory and her head…

"Maybe. I uh…I'm not feeling well I think I need to go." She didn't feel right. For once Will wasn't helping. For once Will couldn't help, not unless he could give her back her memories.

"Do you wan' me to come over and check on you? I can bring your bag." No. Maybe ordinarily she would have. But she didn't right now. She just…she didn't.

"No just…just put the bag away and lock the shop up for me."

"Are you sure?" he asked, sounding skeptical.

Yes. There was a lot that she wasn't sure about right now, but she was sure about this. "Yeah, I think I'm going to just got to bed…I'll call you tomorrow. See you then." He said something as she hung up the phone but didn't really hear what it was. Did it really matter?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okie Dokie so Belle without a heart. I tried to make it subtle. I tried to make it so that it does seem that something more than just missing memories is wrong with her but I didn't want to put in her into full blown Shattered Sight Belle or Lacey. Those just didn't seem to match up with what the show gave us. So hopefully this is a halfway decent interpretation. Obviously on the show she knows something is wrong because the moment she sees her heart it all seems to click. She just doesn't know what is wrong. So I made her focus on her memories and used a little bit of what the show didn't give us this season, her lack of use. It took a bit but I finally realized that I could use the lack of Belle to my own advantage. I mean, she'd feel that wouldn't she? No longer being part of the gang. I thought so.
> 
> Thank you to Paige~Turner for your comments on the last chapter. Now everyone wave good-bye to 4x18 because we are onto 4x19, or as I like to call it, "Good-bye Will Scarlet, Hello Hero Rumple"! Peace and Happy Reading!


	38. The Realm of Make Believe

Something was wrong. She could feel that something was wrong, that she wasn't working the way she was supposed to, she just wished she understood why. She hadn't slept. Not a wink, not all night. She'd had good intentions to. She'd made a healthy dinner after she talked to Will, she'd locked up the house, she'd even put on her night gown but in the end all she did was sit down in the sitting room, possibly for the first time, and stare at that chair. Had he been in it last night? Had he watched her sleep and then done something to her? Had he…had he somehow found a way to remove him from her sight?! If that was true he could be here, right now…still watching her!

At that thought she'd wrapped herself up in a blanket to keep warm but didn't go to bed. If he was in the house watching her then then she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of watching her sleep. And she shouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing that he was on her mind, but how could he not be when there was so much that should be on her mind but wasn't! She hated to be on edge. There was very little in life that had ever made her afraid, truly fearful. But this...this feeling scared her. And she had no idea how to make it stop.

Though her body seemed to have a plan in mind, one that she hadn't found herself confronting for years, not since she'd lived in her father's palace. Stay. The few times that fear had seized her, whether it was fear of the ogres, fear that her father would discover she'd torn the tapestry in the dinning room as a child, or fear of facing an engagement, she always found herself locked away in her room, reading some distant tale to take her away. This was the same. She didn't read, but she did stare at that chair. And she didn't lock herself in her room, but she certainly wasn't in the mood to venture beyond the house. When light touched the sky and she finally needed to move or else she knew she'd fall asleep she got up. She made herself tea…and somehow found herself sitting on the basement steps, starring at all the things she had yet to throw away. The lip of her chipped cup peaked out from beneath one of the unsealed cardboard boxes...it starred right back at her.

The first time the phone rang, just around breakfast, she ignored it. Each shrill was unnecessary dissonance in her ear, but she didn't move. It was Will. She knew it was Will. Just being kind. Just trying to check on her. Why was she ignoring him? It was cruel. Even worse why wasn't she telling him what had really happened yesterday? Why hadn't she thought to tell him until now? The second time the phone rang, only minutes later she managed to push herself up and run for it. He was panicked, worried, and she didn't have to tell him everything but she had no right to let him think that something terrible was happening to her just because she felt agitated. He was a good man. A smart man. He could tell when things were wrong, when she was upset, and she feared that he could tell how she felt about him. That was the true cruelty.

"Hello?!"

"Oh, hey, there you are, for a second I was about to call the sheriff but she's standing right here!" Rapunzel. The first call was Will. This call, this was Rapunzel. Probably from the library which wasn't a good sign because she couldn't ever think of a time that Rapunzel had been so stumped she'd needed to actually call her! Though...had she said Emma was there?

"Yeah, I'm…I'm-I'm having a slow morning. Is Emma there?"

"Yeah, sorry I just had to ask you a quick question, do you know if we have microfilm around? She's looking for something that might have been published in the Mirror and says that it's something we should have but I don't know what it actually is!"

"Microfilm?"

"Yeah, do you understand?"

"Yes I just...I don't understand why Emma needs it." Rapunzel was a smart person too. One hint of agitation in her voice and she'd know that something was wrong too. She had to calm down, she had to get a grip on what was happening now instead of focusing too hard on what she couldn't remember. And if doing that was too hard…it was probably in her own best interest to pretend everything was fine and normal until she could get that grip. "We have it, but it's old," she explained. "I don't want people going through it unless there is good reason."

"Okay…well…why don't you tell me where it is and I'll go get it while Emma gives you a good reason," Rapunzel was suspicious already. She could hear it in her voice. But she could fix that easily enough.

"Right…good idea," and with that she gave the instructions to the key in the office that would take Rapunzel to the storage room doors the files were locked away in and explained how they'd been sorted. She also explained where the machine that they'd need to view the film on was, how to turn it on, and how it worked right before Emma picked up the phone.

"I'm the sheriff, isn't that reason enough?" Emma snapped, sounding nearly as agitated as she did. Before she could comment on it she managed to take a breath and remember what Will had said happened to Cruella yesterday. All things considered, Emma probably had a better reason to be tense than she did.

"Ordinarily," she whispered, managing to sound calm. "But it's just protocol. I need to know what you are looking for."

"A newspaper article, about a girl I used to know when I was a kid."

Her heart sank. It wasn't really protocol, but now that she'd done it she would certainly make a rule about it because those microfilms really were old and she already knew the answer. "If you knew her outside of Storybrooke before you even arrived then I doubt what you are looking for will be there."

"Yeah, see that's where I'm going to disagree with you," she argued. "I'm starting to believe that fate is a real bitch and everything I've ever needed to know about me is in this town. Trust me…if this girl is who I think she is, somehow the mirror got her story. They might have published it as a human interest or humanity thing but I don't care either way. I just need to see it." And when Emma started talking like that there was nothing she could do to stop her. And since being friends with Emma was more beneficial than picking fights with her, all she could really do was give her her blessing. "Good luck," she responded before leaving the conversation.

Belief. Emma believed it was there and so…it just might actually be there. Belief was such a strange thing. Especially in a town like this. But it could also be a driving force. She could sit in this house stewing over the fact that she had no idea what was wrong with her other than her missing hours, or she could put it behind her, convince herself it didn't matter and that she was fine, and face the world like an adult, like the woman she'd become instead of the scared princess she'd once been. Yes, that was the secret to getting her time back.

Determined, she raced up the stairs, showered, changed, hid the proof of her lack of sleep under her make-up and was ready to leave for the shop before the hour was even up. But when she walked outside her heart nearly stopped again at the sight of a man in a leather jacket walking up the sidewalk. Her jaw dropped. Will. Always there, always waiting for her, with his perfect timing just like always. Even when he didn't know he had to be on time. How did he do that? Why had it never bothered her before and yet this morning…

"Will…what…what are you doing here?"

"Lookin' for you of course. I tried to phone ya bu' you musta been in the shower." Will's call. How could she forget Will's call?! That was…terribly rude of her.

"I'm…I'm sorry you panicked."

"Oh, no, panicked sounds too 'arsh…I was only just gettin' to concerned and though' I'd come pay you a visi', see if you needed Granny's chicken soup or anything…where is the car?" Any ordinary day she felt like she'd have been able to keep up with him but right now…she felt like she was only taking in every other word from every other sentence. He was concerned. Because she hadn't picked up or because she'd told him he wasn't feeling well? Probably the second. Though the soup comment could have been a joke. And the car…the car!

"Oh! It's uh…" The car was still missing. He'd told her on the phone that it was gone from her place in town but she still had the keys, which meant she certainly wasn't driving it. Rumpelstiltskin. He had the car then. But Will…he didn't need to know that. Getting in the middle of whatever had happened or was happening between them wasn't a good idea for him. It was dangerous. Rumple would kill him on sight. He needed to be away, safe somewhere…somewhere not outside his house-her house. Which…now that she thought about it…shouldn't be possible. "How did you find me?" she asked, confused. He shouldn't know where she lived. She'd never told him because that was a mess she just wasn't willing to create! At least she couldn't remember telling him…

"'Ouse of the Dark One…no' tha' difficul' to find in this town," he answered giving her a look like it was obvious and she shouldn't have had to ask a silly question like that of him. Of course. Of course it was, everyone knew she lived here now. She was being silly, suspicious again. She needed to breath. To not push Will away at a time like this for his safety as well as her own. If she was with Will…then at least they both had a babysitter, someone to make sure more of her time didn't go missing, and someone to make sure he didn't utter a sarcastic joke to the wrong person. "So…are we jus' going to stand 'ere or…do I ge' the grand tour."

Tour? Tour of the house? That thought made her shiver. The only one she'd ever really had in that house, by choice at least, was Ruby. David and Emma's visit had been irrelevant but…take Will inside their home? Show him everything? The kitchen, the living room, the special bedroom he'd made for her before Lacey…their bedroom. No. Will might have been comfortable taking her to his place…but this wasn't something that she could handle yet. And she felt bad about it. He was so wonderful to her. Why couldn't she be the same for him? Even worse…could he see how uncomfortable this had begun to feel so quickly? No. He couldn't. Because she wouldn't let him. Now, more than ever, she needed to cling to this life that she'd made in his absence, even if she didn't want to.

"Well…I would give you the tour…if only my escort this morning hadn't been late picking me up. Now I'm late for work," she joked, hoping that she could hide herself well enough behind her illusion.

Will's jaw dropped and he placed his hand over his heart as if wounded and gave a grand bow. "Many apologies, Milady," he joked back. "I won' make tha' mistake again!"

Now she smiled for real, with pride. She'd convinced him. At least she hoped she did. "All is forgiven. Let's go?"

Will straightened up and fiddled with his jacket before his eyes crept back over the driveway. "Where _is_ the car?" he asked with genuine curiosity instead of suspicion.

She had to fight hard to keep breathing, to keep smiling. "In town," she lied. "It's been so nice out the last few days…I like to walk. It's not far." She opened her hand up for him and after a moment he took it and they began the short walk to town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UGH! ::Beats head against the wall:: I hate having to explain stupid things that two smart people, not to mention a room full of brilliant writers should be able to figure out. Two stupid things in this chapter to explain! #1 the micro film. Libraries do carry microfilm, true. But they do not carry microfilm for every single edition of every single paper across the entire country! Not even the New York Public Library would have that kind of stock, so the chances of the Storybrooke Public Library having the micro film from when Lily was abandoned...I needed to make it sound reasonable and resorted to that old fall back-magic. #2 the car. Bell has the car in 4x14 and then what? "Hey sweetie, I was just thinking of running some errands today around town, nothing evil just a little sinister, mind if I borrow the keys?" "Well...if it's only sinister, sure!" Zero sense in that. So...I hope that I've made the "misplaced car" scenario a little bit more believable too!
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	39. Double Toil and Trouble

It was an enjoyable walk into town, she supposed. At the very least it was distracting. Will was good at that. He could always take her mind off any trouble she had and eventually, after a few minutes when they found themselves chatting and even laughing at a funny story he was telling, she realized that her smile wasn't false anymore. He always did have that ability. Maybe that had been the problem yesterday. She'd been away from him and the darkness had seeped back into her life for a bit. No, she understood that missing memories were nothing to take lightly, but today…maybe that feeling that something was off really was all in her head. Walking to the shop with Will she felt normal again. Not wonderful or excited, but normal. And that was enough for now. Maybe she should tell him about what happened. He would understand. But would he understand her hesitation to tell him after all this time? Shouldn't they be long past keeping secrets in their relationship? If it was nothing, why did it bother her so much?

They arrived at the shop just in time it seemed. No sooner had she taken off her jacket and Will showed her the place that he'd stashed her bag, did her phone ring. Will made some comment on it right away that made her laugh, genuinely laugh, and she dug around for the precious little device. Probably it was just Rapunzel with another question about Emma. She really should go over and check on her this morning. "Hello?" she asked.

"Belle. I need a favor," Mary Margaret breathed on the other end. The voice was unexpected but the "favor" wasn't. She knew what kind of request accompanied a sigh like that.

"The baby?" she assumed.

"I had him with Ashley for a play date but Ashley can't watch him anymore and there's something we have to take care of. Can you spare some time?"

"Yeah," she smiled. "Yeah of course! I can be there in a few minutes." Mary Margaret thanked her and she hung up the phone, trying to locate the place she'd put her jacket only to find Will already had it out in his hands.

"Where will you be in a few minutes?" he asked.

"Uh…that was Mary Margaret, she and David have to take care of something and-"

"And you're on baby duty?" She smiled and nodded at his assumption. This was why it was always so easy with Will. He always understood. He understood everything and the minute she got back, she was going to tell him everything. It was the right thing to do. She had to start thinking of him first and not Rumpelstiltskin…because it was becoming more and more obvious that he was thinking of her more than she thought of him.

"I don't think I'll be long," she smiled slipping her phone into the pocket of the jacket he was holding for her. "Can you stay here and watch the shop? You don't have to it's not your responsibility."

"I don' mind. No' like I 'ave anywhere else to be. No' like it's 'ard. Mostly I just have to make sure I don' break nothin'," she did give a small smile and laugh at that because it was true. There…they were fine. She was fine, perfectly fine. It was all in her head.

"I appreciate it," she whispered. "When I'm back maybe we can…maybe we can get a bite to eat…talk for a bit?"

He nodded. "Once you're back from being needed…? I told you i' was all in your 'ead."

Yes, she was quickly coming to realize it herself, but in all fairness, he had been the first one to state the obvious. "Yes, you did," she confirmed before finally turning so that he could help her into her jacket. She could fix this. She could. "So, uh…you're sure you don't mind?" she asked again, turning to face him. "David and Mary Margaret just need me to watch the baby for a little bit."

Will nodded again, another confirmation that he'd keep everything settled for her. Of course he didn't mind. He was wonderful. And she-

She laughed when he leaned forward to kiss her, even managed to wrap her arms around his neck, but she felt it again…or rather didn't feel it just then. Desire. It was fine, she and Will never really had it before, but this time she just couldn't bring herself to give into him and attempt to fake it the way she normally tried to.

It was nothing, all in her head. Or she was distracted because little Neal was on her mind instead. That must have been it. So she quickly broke away from him and whispered a small "bye!" before turning and walking out the door quickly.

The air outside the shop sobered her. It made that feeling creep in on her again that something wasn't right somehow. No. Things were fine. It was just…it was just paranoia. It wasn't real, she'd had a scare yesterday and today she was letting it run her life. She couldn't do that. She wouldn't do that! Not anymore. It was silly! One way or another she'd figure out what had happened yesterday and she'd see that there was nothing to fret over. Or maybe there was. But maybe there wasn't. Maybe.

Mary Margaret's. She had to be at Mary Margaret's to watch Neal. If she ever needed the harsh cries of her favorite temperamental baby it was now. Maybe that would force her to think about something else.

Predictably as ever Neal stirred in Mary Margaret's arms when she got to the apartment. Well, maybe a little more than usual. "Neal…what's wrong, you know Belle," his mother cooed.

She smiled at him and reached out to tickle his cheek, trying to coax a smile out of him. "Sometimes I think he knows when he sees me that you're about to leave."

Mary Margaret nodded. She knew that while Neal was an angel so long as Mary Margaret was around he was a handful for her when she left, apparently he was with all his sitters. Which was making them hard to hang onto when they needed one for long periods of time. But she didn't mind it, that just meant that she got to spend more time with the child that bore Neal's name. "I'm sorry," Mary Margaret apologized setting him down in her arms.

"It's not a problem-"

"It's just things with Emma are on the rocks and now she's going to New York with Regina and then there's this thing that David and I have to do and we are _not_ looking forward to it this afternoon-"

"Wait, wait," she said, shaking her head and grabbing her by the arm. That was a lot of surprises to throw at her all at once. And for Mary Margaret to be talking about it, with her…she must have been busting at the seams. "Emma and Regina are leaving town. Why? What…what's happened?"

Mary Margaret's eyes watered and she looked at the clock before taking a deep breath. "A lot. A lot has happened."

She looked overwhelmed and she knew that feeling. She knew what it felt like to be scared and feeling strange things in the midst of too much. "Well…what happened? Tell me."

Mary Margaret looked at the clock again, then sighed and shook her head. "Before Emma was born…David and I…we did something awful. And we kept it from her because we worried about what might happen to her if she found out. But…" she reached out her hand and rubbed Neal's cheek just as she had when she'd arrived but this time he smiled at his mother and she gave a sad smile back to him. "But that's what you do when you're a parent. You risk everything you are, everything that you have for your children, no matter the consequences. And sometimes you make right choices…sometimes you make wrong ones, because no one is perfect…but you do it anyway. You do it for love. Because it's the truest kind of love there is in the world."

She didn't know what she was talking about, but she was sure that she was imparting some kind of important wisdom to her, wisdom that she'd never know because she and Rumple would never have the baby that they'd once spoken of but…she didn't have the details but she knew from the sad look in her eyes what had happened at least. "Emma found out, didn't she?"

Mary Margaret closed her eyes and she could see her doing her best to keep her emotions contained so that when she finally opened her eyes and nodded at her she wouldn't dissolve completely into tears. "Before she was born, Emma had great potential for good, but also great potential for evil. And David and I…we just…we were in the midst of dealing with Regina at her worst and...we couldn't let it happen, not to our daughter not to our baby. We couldn't let her grow up to be someone like...so…we made a choice. A terrible choice and we hurt Maleficent in the process. We made her how she is. We made our own villain."

She shook her head. "Maleficent? I…I don't understand."

"But you would. Emma told us, she told us what happened months ago between you and Anna when you were younger. You would understand what it means…to be good, to carry a secret that eats you up inside because it's not good."

It was bad. She'd always suspected that Emma would tell the others about that, now she knew why David and Mary Margaret hadn't questioned her about it or treated her any differently. It was because they had their own Anna. They'd understood. And now Mary Margaret was to a place she had once been in, desperate to tell someone, desperate for someone to reach back and tell her that they knew what it was like to be her. That was what Will did for her. The least she could do was understand for them. "I do," she confirmed. "I do understand but what did you…"

"We cursed Maleficent's daughter," she finally spat out in less than a breath, her voice cracking at the terrible reveal. "It was wrong and terribly cruel, but when someone told us that it was possible to remove the darkness and give it to another, to leave her only with light, we had to do it. For Emma. Because we loved her. We always meant to bring her back to Maleficent but…something went wrong, horribly wrong and she was sent through a portal, to this world. That's what Maleficent wants. She just wants her daughter back and Emma thinks that she can find her but…but now she won't even look at me and I'm afraid, so terribly, terribly afraid..."

Suddenly Mary Margaret took a deep breath, something that turned into a sniff before she wiped her cheeks, as if she suddenly realized that she'd said too much, revealed too much to her. But it was fine. Well, it wasn't fine. It was a terrible, sad, horrible tale. But she did understand. It was what she worried would happen to her when everyone realized what had happened to Anna. Worse, it was what she'd feared would happen between her and Rumple when he found out about her secret. She was afraid that she'd lost her daughter, that she'd never speak to her again or look at her the same. That she wasn't her hero anymore. She couldn't imagine the pain that Mary Margaret was in. She loved Emma more than anything. To have Emma shut her out, to have her own daughter look at her like she was evil or wicked…it must have been just awful.

She adjusted Neal in her arms and set him down in the crib before returning to Mary Margaret and hugging her. They weren't great friends. In fact before all this she wouldn't have said they were friends at all, their relationship had always been stuck somewhere between more than acquaintances and less than friends, but as the woman clung to her and gave quick short sobs into her shoulder, suddenly she found herself wondering why. They'd been through so much together, they'd been tied together from the beginning, spent months living under the same roof in the Enchanted Forest, she'd seen her at her worst when Rumple had died, worried about her and come to see her after he'd crossed the line…why did it take her so long to realize that she was a friend?

"Oh, I'm sorry," she finally breathed stepping away from her when Neal fussed. "I'm sorry I just…" but she never finished her sentence, just obeyed the summons of her child and scooped him back up into her arms again. Strong, confident, the Mary Margaret she'd always known. Only different now, somehow very different.

"So…is that why Emma and Regina are going to New York. To…to find Maleficent's child?"

"Oh…no!" Mary Margaret gasped. "No, not quite. I think Emma is hoping to find her, Lily is her name. Apparently she and Emma knew each other growing up, she's trying to locate her now." The person she was looking for on the microfilms, because fate was a bitch and the girl was Maleficent's child, a child of their realm. No, she wouldn't be surprised one bit if Lily showed up there just as she suggested. "But the real reason they are going is for Robin Hood. It's a rescue mission."

That piqued her interest. She honestly hadn't thought of Robin Hood in weeks, at least! Maybe months! Why were they rescuing him? "Is he in trouble? Roland and…and Marian did they encounter someone?"

"That's one way you could say it," Mary Margaret glanced up at the clock again and she could tell it was getting time for her to go, but she didn't want to leave before she told her about Robin. He was her friend too!

"Well, what happened to them? Are they alright?"

"No, but they will be," Mary Margaret said placing Neal back in her arms. "Just as soon as Regina gets him and Roland away from Zelena who, apparently has been masquerading as Marian all this time."

She felt her jaw drop and her eyes go as wide as saucers. It wasn't possible that she'd heard that correctly. Not a chance. It was too…too impossible even for this town! Zelena was dead! She wasn't positive, she had no proof but her gut told her Rumple had a hand in it some how! She'd felt that for weeks! And even if she was wrong...she'd seen the tape. Zelena was dead.

"That's not possible."

Mary Margaret laughed. Really laughed at her. "We all keep thinking things like that when impossible things seem to happen in this town every day. It's true. Regina talked to her herself. She's there and Emma and Regina have to go get him before Gold calls and tells her to kill him."

"What?!" More impossible things! "Rumple…Rumple would never work with her, much less betray Regina for…for her! She killed Neal!" The idea that he'd ever work _with_ her, sell Regina out to her and assist in the possible murder of Robin Hood, the person his wife and son called a friend...!

Then again...it wouldn't be the first time he'd tried to orchestrate the murder of someone she held dear. It wouldn't be the second or third time either. But Zelena...that was a different story all together!

"That's what we thought but…" Mary Margaret sighed and stepped up to her, put a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry you had to find out like this. Regina didn't tell us how it happened just that it did. That it is. But she has found a way around it. She has leverage over him of some kind, something to keep him at bay so Regina can go and get Robin and Roland and bring them back to Storybrooke, back to safety. That's why they have to move quickly."

"Leverage? What…what kind of leverage?" she asked feeling oddly numb all of sudden. It wasn't the way that she was used to feeling when things were difficult to believe or too difficult to fumble through. She felt...disassociated from herself. Like she'd left her body and was watching all this from somewhere else.

She saw Mary Margaret glanced at the clock again. They were running out of time. "Don't know. We didn't ask, Regina didn't tell. Given the circumstances we elected to stay out of it until she gets back. It's better that way. For all our sakes." Suddenly she was the one that felt as though she'd been hit over the head unexpectedly because if Emma and Regina were really rushing off to do this in this way...that meant that the impossible wasn't just possible; it was reality.

Her husband was working for Zelena. The Wicked Witch of the West, the woman he despised more than any other, the woman that had kept him locked away in her basement like a common dog. The woman who had killed their son! He was working with her? It wasn't just in her head anymore. Something strange was happening in Storybrooke. Something bad. Very, very bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, what do we think. I'm never terribly sure about Mary Margaret moments. I do my best with her and I will say that I felt better about the end of this conversation than I did the beginning of it but still...she's just one I don't really feel confident writing. But I still felt like this was an important scene. I felt like I needed a way to reincorporate Belle in the group and frankly just catch her up on stuff! Really, Belle just seems to disappear for them between 4x15 and 4x19 and I wanted to have someone finally explain to her what the hell was going on in the real world. Mary Margaret and Neal seemed like the perfect time to do that, I hope that it came out alright.
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	40. The Lost Guardian of Her Heart

Rumpelstiltskin was working with Zelena. She couldn't even begin to fathom how that was a possibility. What had he gotten himself into out in the real world? What had she sentenced him too?!

That was it wasn't it? The reason behind all of this. She'd cast him out into the world where Zelena had been living, maybe even lying in wait for him! This was her fault. She'd done this somehow. But still...she was just as powerless as he would have been! Why would he ever agree to work with her or for her against Regina of all people if she had no power over him?! When he'd left she was certain that he wouldn't have worked with her to kill Hook! Was he so used to taking orders from her that he couldn't resist?

No. No it had to be much more than that. Something was wrong with him. Mind, or body, or soul she didn't know which but that had to be it. It was the only explanation why Zelena, or Marian, hadn't turned up dead and he'd gone to jail convicted of murder outside of Storybrooke. So what was wrong with him? What had she let happen to him out there?

What was happening outside her own windows? Or Mary Margaret's windows. People were acting strange, not just her. Will called only seconds after Mary Margaret had gone to say that he had to lock up the shop and leave for a bit, he didn't know when he'd be back but she shouldn't worry. Strange how every time someone told her that she shouldn't worry, worry was immediately what she jumped to. He refused to tell her what had come up, which was unlike him. Only Rumpelstitlskin was ever as vague as he was but…

No. Will was different. He didn't do things like this, not like Rumple had and at least he'd called to tell her that he would be gone instead of doing it behind her back. He was keeping something from her. But she was keeping something from him too. As much as she hated to admit it fair was fair. And besides…she felt better keeping things from him if he did the same. They weren't married, there was no expectation that they had to tell each other everything all the time! Now she and Rumple on the other hand…

Yes, they were still married. A single piece of paper locked away in his office somewhere safe still revealed that truth. But she didn't feel married to him anymore. Everything he was doing now, holding Robin in jeopardy, working with Zelena…it was as if the man that she married on that hillside long ago was gone entirely. Nothing Mary Margaret said about him gave her any reason to think that one scrap of the man that she married was still inside of him.

And that was probably her fault? Aside from sending him away to a world where Zelena had been lurking in the shadows…had it always been true? He used to say that she made him good, and she'd always just dismissed it as sweet talk, but…was it real? Did she really make him good?! And now that she was away from him was it her fault that he'd regressed, fallen so far that he wasn't recognizable as her husband anymore?

No. No, it wasn't her fault. She'd freed him…she'd sent him to a place where there was no magic, where he could just be Rumpelstiltskin and make a life without that beast! She hadn't known Zelena was out there and it didn't matter. She was as powerless as he was! From the moment he'd crossed that line his thoughts and actions were his own. She'd freed him…not the way she always dreamed she would. But she'd given him a freedom all the same.

And she couldn't keep thinking about this all day and night. She couldn't keep letting him consume her thoughts, panic her, worry her. She had Will now. Kind, happy, funny Will! He thought of her all the time and it was about time that she started doing the same. On the way home from Mary Margaret's, something that had taken longer than she'd expected, she picked him up some dinner. There. That was something special, something nice that she could do, to show him that he was something special to her, that she did think of him. He'd see that. Wouldn't he?

But he wasn't there when she got back. The shop was still black and empty, locked up just as he'd promised. That was fine. He'd be back. And she…she could keep herself busy! After all this time doing research she finally had some time to actually do some shop work. Cruella and Ursula were gone, Maleficent…she was contained, at least according to Mary Margaret. Emma and Regina were out of town, Henry and Neal were taken care of. She may as well begin to update the inventory cards that she kept with the bits and pieces of magical knowledge she'd learned about them. That was something to do. So was summoning Rumpelstiltskin to her side to ask him what was going on because somewhere deep down, even without the dagger, she knew if she cried out his name he'd be there in a flash. But this…this was much safer. A much better idea than that.

It was after dark when the bell to the shop chimed and she looked up to finally see Will had come back. She didn't know what he'd been doing but she knew that he didn't look good. Frankly, he looked simply exhausted. Something in the forest then? A problem with the Merry Men? Those spats had a tendency to take the wind out of his sails. Sails...she'd completely forgotten to ask him if Killian ever returned that potion.

"Hey! There you are!" she said trying to sound cheerful, to raise his spirits as well as her own. She reached over and proudly set out the food that she'd remembered for him as a testament for both of them. "I brought you dinner from Granny's!" There. She was thinking of him. Not Rumpelstiltskin. He'd see that. He'd know.

Or maybe not.

Something was wrong. Not just with her, or the town, but with Will too. She didn't know for sure but he looked like it was more than just exhaustion as he looked between her and what she'd set down before him and it made her nervous. What was bothering him? Did he sense the distance that she felt? Or did she need to break out the books and start researching curses again?

"Hey, Will," she bent over, tried to catch his eye and succeeded…but he didn't smile at her. Just…kept looking like a wounded animal. "Something wrong?" she asked putting a hand at his shoulder.

"Um…Belle there's something tha' I need to show ya," he whispered.

He'd had his hand behind his back this entire time. She honestly hadn't noticed, not until he pulled it out and showed her the little wooden box he'd been hiding. He opened it up and she gasped as she felt something like electricity race though her body.

She was speechless.

The recognition was instantaneous.

It was a heart.

Glowing red and bright and though she knew what it was…she sensed what it _truly_ was immediately.

It called out to her. She wanted to touch it. To pick it up and push it back inside of her chest where it was telling her it belonged.

"Is…is that…?" she tried to ask but in the end she couldn't form the words and could only motion at herself as she tried not to break into tears or panic. Tears sprang to her eyes because she didn't want it to be true…but if it was then everything that had happened over the last couple days…that all made sense. Her memories, her emotions or rather her lack of emotions…was it all as true as she felt? Maybe it wasn't all in her head and nothing was wrong with the town…just her.

"Yeah," Will confirmed quietly, "yours."

Oh, she didn't know what to say. Least of all what to do.

She was shaking-no, more than that, she was quaking at the sight of it and the thoughts racing through her mind. How had it gotten out of her chest?!

No. She knew, she knew how it had gone missing without her knowledge. It was Rumpelstiltskin. And her heart was breaking as she stared at the worst betrayal she'd ever known. Had he…how could he…what would he do with it? What had he made her do yesterday? This was worse than-

"I' was Regina," Will went on suddenly, intelligently knowing right where her mind would have gone but…no. She hadn't expected that name, it was Rumple, wasn't it?! It couldn't have been Regina! The two of them weren't exactly friends but…they were above this now? Weren't they? And when had she taken it? For how long? She hadn't had it all this time, since she'd been in the asylum. So then…yesterday? But why? Why would she do something like this? What did she get out if it? Why would she have taken her memories? Surely she hadn't just forced her to forget the removal of her heart, there was too much time gone for that!

"Well, why would she want my heart?" she whispered, wringing her hands together nervously.

"To use you as a pawn against me."

She'd been on the cusp of melting down since Will opened that box but that voice…in this shop…sharing such close space with her so unexpectedly. No! Not right now. He couldn't be here now, this wasn't happening! She wasn't ready.

"Okay, what are you doing here?!" she demanded moving away, she would have been ready to run out the door if her legs weren't shaking so badly they might give out and her heart wasn't out of her chest. She wasn't about to abandon it in this shop, leave it alone with…him! After all he'd done, after all he was doing!

"I wanted to be certain that you got your uh…heart back," he motioned coming closer and closer with every step, closer than she could handle as he exchanged glances with…Will?

Will, not her?!

Suddenly things were beginning to make a lot more sense.

Will had her heart. Rumple knew it had been missing…that Regina had taken it because...

The reason nearly knocked her off her feet.

Regina's leverage over Rumple.

She was it.

She'd taken her heart and held it hostage, threatened to kill her if he had Robin Hood killed. She must have stashed it somewhere he couldn't reach it, somewhere that magic would be detectable. A place where Will could get to it. But then that meant that the errand he had to run…they'd been…

"Wait, you-you two are…working together?!" she spit out.

Her head was spinning. This was all too much, this day, yesterday! And then there was him, here, now...looking like he hadn't slept in a month and...

It couldn't be. They couldn't have worked together. Rumple didn't work well with others and Will…Will wouldn't do this to her. Work with him without telling her that was…

Looking at Will's face and Rumple's contempt for the situation, it might not have been as absurd as she thought. Just highly unlikely. And strange. Very, very strange. Even for a place like Storybrooke.

"We share one thing in common," Rumple nodded before glancing up at Will and taking a few menacing steps forward, forcing Will to retreat, to back away in fear. She couldn't exactly blame him for that. But Rumple… "We both care for you," he finally explained as though the words killed him. "Belle I need to say something."

She shook her head, her arms, her knees, her chest, everything was still shaking all because he was too close and she couldn't let this happen. Not again. She couldn't be won over by his words like before. Not here. Not now. Not with Will standing right behind her! "I'm not sure I want to hear it," she insisted. All it had ever taken in the past were a few sweet words and-

"No, please, I'm not asking for forgiveness," he pressed, begged really.

It was useless. She could resist all she like, but she knew that tone. He'd made up his mind and nothing stopped him when he made up his mind. As long as her heart was out of her chest as long as they were all trapped in this room together…she was going to hear him whether she liked it or not. And secretly...oh, she wanted to hear it. She hated to admit it but if he wasn't going to ask for forgiveness, then what more could he have to say to her? She wanted to know, even though she was already crying, the tears were hovering there in her eyes but nevertheless she took a small step forward and braced herself, begging her body not to give anymore than that single step because that was all it had taken in the past. No matter what he said she wouldn't give in. She wouldn't.

"I spent every day of our marriage deceiving you, when I should have been trying to make you happy," he confessed quickly. "Now it's too late. My heart is nearly black. And if I continue hurting you…then there is no hope for me."

She didn't know what he was talking about. Black hearts, hurting her…she had to tell the voice in her head, the one that wanted her to take those extra steps and insist that it was never too late for them, to be quiet. If she said something now she might regret it. The problem was that she worried that she would regret it if she didn't say something now. She was happy when he started fiddling with the box, when she didn't have to look at the look on his face because every urge she had inside of her told her that she knew how to get rid of that look, how to calm him, how to promise him forever, and get the beast to recede back into his cavern so her Rumple could live again. She couldn't give into it. She'd done so well this far she just couldn't…

"I'm gonna return this to you Belle," he finally said holding her heart so carefully in his hand that it hurt. "But he's the one who's going to protect it."

He.

Will?

But Will...

This was too unfair. She knew it, he knew it, and one look at Will's face and she knew that he knew it too. Her heart, like this shop, wasn't his responsibility. It never had been. He'd bravely taken it on because someone had given it up. Because someone had been _forced_ to give it up. She'd turned its true guardian away…and she'd adopted one that was guardian to another. In theory it should have worked. Like a classroom missing a teacher or library and a jobless librarian. But the job itself was...different. Will wasn't Rumpelstiltskin. And she...

She wasn't Anastasia. How could she ever have expected Will to look after her own heart when he was supposed to be guarding Anastasia's?!

"Because I have proven unworthy," he finished when her eyes finally landed on him again. Had he? Had he proven himself unworthy? Moments ago, before he'd revealed himself she would have said yes and there never would have been a doubt about that in her mind because she was certain that the man that she'd once loved was gone but…now?! He'd had the dagger all this time. Nothing was stopping him from betraying Regina. Nothing but her heart. Which he'd gone to extraordinary lengths to save. Including working with Will. Which was most certainly something that the man she'd married would have done. He was still in there. Somewhere. So…just how unworthy was he?

He was gentle. The grip on her shoulder was tight but not in a forceful way. It was the kind of touch that she'd always associated with reassurance. A promise that she could cling to him when times were difficult…or painful. She cringed at the thought. Was he trying to warn her that this would hurt?

Before she could ask it was done. She gasped at the sensation and felt herself double over but his hand on her arm kept her steady. It had always kept her steady. Just as he had.

His eyes bore into her own, searching with desperation, asking if she was alright without using the words and she felt herself answer with a smile. That was all he would need to tell him.

She could feel again.

She always had been able to but now she felt it the way she knew she was supposed to, without faking or thinking about it, or feeling as if something was missing inside of her.

Her first emotion, her first urge and instinct?

Hold him.

Fit herself against him where her height had never mattered and silently thank him, feel his heartbeat, his breath, the familiar smell. There was a lot to talk about, but somehow words failed her. She didn't touch him. She didn't do anything but look at him amazed at how easy she'd been to turn even in her resistance. More sweet words-no! It hadn't even been sweet words this time. Only a look! An action! With nothing more than that she was ready to go with him again, to have the talks they needed to have even if they weren't-

"Good-bye Belle," he whispered suddenly, making her stomach drop at the sight of his smile as he walked away. Those words, his smile...it was heart wrenching.

He was happy!

It was a pained smile but also a genuine, happy smile! She had her heart back, and instead of wanting to kill Will he was actually happy there was someone to look after it in his place…but it wasn't enough. It wasn't the right person!

But she didn't know what to say. Last time, eons ago, when this had happened in a darkened library she hadn't known what would come if she didn't speak up? She knew what would this time. Heartache. Deception. Hurt. All that on top of the greatest kind of love a human could ever hope to experience. She wanted to stop him. But…the memories of what had happened only months ago still stung. Was it worth it? If she could go back to that moment in the library and say good-bye or stop him all over again…what would she do?

She knew the answer before she'd even finished the question. But it was still too late. The moment the door was closed, the moment she felt pressure against her hand but ignored it to finally take the few timid steps she'd denied herself earlier toward the door, because her heart wanted so desperately to follow him out…she knew exactly what she would have said.

She'd have told him to stop. The hurt that had come after the joy had been worth it and much to her surprise, she still wouldn't trade the life that they had together for anything.

And yet, she just had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everybody heave a sigh of relief because we made it! Yay! And ya'll totally deserve pats on the back for making it this far! Hopefully the rest will be much better! I hope you do enjoy this chapter. I know that I can't do it justice, it was awkward to write and didn't translate well but I did my best! It's funny how people see this scene and this couple. People keep telling me all through this fiction that Belle lost her head. I humbly disagree. I think she was using her head too much. Dating Will...in my mind it's a smart move. It does seem like it should fit together. Two and two clearly make four, that kinda thing. Einstein said that it is insanity when we continually do the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Being with Rumple is awesome for her, but it also hurts! And their last interaction...it was scarring. She followed her heart and she got burned. Therefore in Belle's mind, if she didn't want to get burned again she had to do something smart and that was where Will came in. The problem is that it takes more than smart to make a relationship work. There has to be some heart to it, to allow the relationship to burn and breath and in this chapter I think she finally grasps all that. That she and Will don't fit together in that magical way that her head says they should because their hearts aren't into it. I thought this scene did an excellent job of showing that it wasn't her mind she was missing, it was her heart. And here she got it back in more ways than one.
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	41. Layers of Love

In a perfect world whatever spell that he had over her would have faded the farther that he got. She would have felt better once he was gone, refreshed even. She would have come to her senses and realized that leaving and being away from him was all for the better.

But this wasn't a perfect world. And none of that happened.

She did come to her senses of course, she remembered all that Mary Margaret had told her, all that he was doing and she felt…she wasn't sure what she felt anymore. Strange. Having her heart back should have taken care of that. Only with him gone she didn't feel anymore now like she had her heart than she had yesterday or today! This was such a mess. She didn't know where-

"'Ey…"

Will. He was the hand that she'd felt. The pressure on her own that she'd barely noticed when he'd left her-them alone. The sad truth was that she'd forgotten he was even here. Again. "You should come in the back and rest a bi'," he urged. "I know gettin' ya 'ear' back can really take i' ou' of ya."

In a perfect world she would have agreed and gone with him.

But she wasn't perfect and she knew that wasn't what had "taken it out of her". That was something completely different.

"I…have to call Mary Margaret," she realized. She'd been the leverage. And it had been a brilliant plan on Regina's behalf. She didn't know whether to be angry or thankful that this had happened but she knew that if she was the leverage and now she had her heart back then Robin Hood was in trouble. The Rumple she knew wouldn't make the call to Zelena. But the Dark One would. And though she'd seen enough to convince her that he was still lurking somewhere inside of him, she didn't know how potent that piece of him would be at the moment. Especially if he wasn't by her side.

Mary Margaret already knew. Apparently Maleficent had been the one "guarding" her heart and the moment that Will had taken it she'd called to warn Regina. While Mary Margaret still seemed clueless as to what had actually happened she was able to tell her that Emma had texted her to let them know they were in New York and had found Robin Hood. He was safe and alive and beyond that she didn't need to know more.

She still felt stunned when she hung up. Robin Hood was alive. He could have called Zelena and had Robin murdered right then. Instead he'd wasted time getting her heart back.

Her head hurt.

"'Ey…Belle," Will whispered, putting a hand on her shoulder in what she was sure was meant to feel like a soothing gesture but just felt like fire suddenly. "You really do need to res'."

"No," she sniffled, wiping her eyes and shaking her head. "No, I know I just, I, uh, I…I think I just want to go home. Go to bed. Get some rest there."

What she really wanted was to just be away from here, from this place where so much, too much, had happened today day. She really just wanted to be in the silence and consider everything that had just happened. Because small as it was, a lot had just happened.

"I'll take ya', we can be there before you know-"

"No," she insisted a little too forcefully, pulling out of his grasp as though she'd finally been burned from the exposure. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes to try and get her heart to stop racing. Will wasn't the enemy. She had to remember that now. He wasn't Malificent or Cruella and he certainly wasn't Regina who, after the last few years of developing that relationship into a thin tolerance, she never wanted to see again. Will wasn't the enemy, he was her friend, her…

Boyfriend.

She'd never actually had that thought about him before but she knew it was what everyone else though, maybe even what he thought. And it was terrible, but right now…she didn't know what she wanted him to be. She didn't know what he could be, but certainly not that. Boyfriend...how could he be...she was married.

"I'm sorry," she muttered unable to look him in the eye. "I just…I just think I want to be alone right now."

"Well…a' leas' tell me where ya parked the car."

The car. She hadn't even thought that she still had no idea where it was. But it was fine. She didn't need it. She'd walked to and from work before and she could do it now. At least now she knew where her memories had gone and why they were missing. Regina. Not Rumple.

"I don't know," she finally confessed. "I can't remember, I'll just…I'll just walk."

Will shook his head and looked at her as if she'd just said something funny. "I'm not letting ya walk home by yourself tonight-"

"Why not?!" she snapped. "There…there is no one in this town right now that wants to hurt me! Regina is with Emma. Cruella is dead, Ursula is gone, and unless I crossed Malificent and just can't remember…" she was yelling again and she didn't mean to. Not at Will. He didn't deserve…she didn't know what he didn't deserve at the moment. She didn't know a lot of things.

"I'm sorry," she apologized again. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to."

"I get i'…you've 'ad a long day." He got it. And that was part of the problem because she really wished that for once he didn't understand.

"I just…I just want to be by myself," she explained. "It's not a long walk and I'll be careful." She took a glance over to see that he'd inched away from her and was eyeing her with sadness, like she was a wounded puppy he desperately wanted to help but was afraid would bite in the midst of pain. At the moment, she felt that fear was probably justified. "I'm sorry, I'll…I'll let you know when I'm home," she assured him before taking a step over and standing on tip-toe to give him a kiss. She'd done it dozens of times since the first time he'd kissed her but now…all she could manage was a kiss on the cheek before she collected her bag and left him to lock up the store.

She held her hand over her mouth as she walked down the street toward home. It felt wrong. She remembered every kiss they'd shared in the last few weeks and yet this one felt wrong. It felt like settling. It felt like a motion without the heart. Heartless. So that's what it felt like.

She knew the kind of kiss that she'd wanted to give tonight and that wasn't it. It was a mind consuming kiss. One that made her forget what she was doing and why she was doing it. One that she knew the motions to perfectly with her eyes closed, that knew the height of the shoulders her arms needed to wrap around and where the hands splayed at her back would rest, where they would pull her closer without letting her fall. She wanted a kiss that ended and began again with familiar breath and a racing heartbeat.

The only problem was that even with her eyes closed she knew that familiar kiss didn't belong to Will.

Rumpelstiltskin.

Her Rumple.

That was him tonight. Without a doubt that was the man that she'd married, the man that delivered her heart to her and given it with his blessing to another man was the one that had danced with her in a ballroom, kissed her senseless undercover of moonlight, the one who had sacrificed himself for an entire town because he loved his family more than words could describe, and smiled at her with amusement when she'd chipped a tea cup. That was him, her husband.

It called to her the moment that she stepped in the door. If pressed to admit it, it had been calling to her since he'd left her standing in their store. And now that call was so loud that in the end she couldn't be bothered to call Will and just sent him a text message before heading up the stairs and staring at the place her jewelry box was. It was like a magnet attracting her back. A moth to the flame, she'd lifted the lid a hundred times, always shutting it out and never paying any heed to the ring that sat in its own little compartment, isolated as if it had a private burial, until now. Now, with a tiny sniffle she picked it out of its space and sat down on the bed.

The man she'd seen tonight, that had given her back her heart, was the same one that had given her this ring. That had married her by the well. That had told her she chased all the darkness out of his life, but…if that were true he wouldn't have done what he'd done.

The man that had given her this ring was not the man that she'd encountered in the tower that night, it was not the beast that had lied and manipulated her to keep the truth from her, it was not the monster that had put the fairies, her friends, in the hat and been willing to leave all of Storybrooke, all of their family, behind to die so that he could get what he wanted. She still wasn't ready to forget that, she wasn't sure she'd ever be ready to forgive it. It was too much a betrayal, too much of an insult. But tonight…

Tonight he'd been honorable. Tonight he'd been worthy and the man that she'd married wasn't gone he was just…just…

With a heavy sigh she fell back onto the bed in defeat. She didn't know what he was. Or she was. Or they were.

No. That was a lie. She knew that they weren't together. She knew he loved her enough to want her to find happiness even if that meant she was with someone else. And she knew that wasn't possible because after tonight she knew that she still loved her husband…cursed or not.

With a slow and steady breath she glanced at her ring. She knew she shouldn't, knew the implications were more than she wanted to acknowledge, but she ignored it all and slowly slid the jeweled band back over her left ring finger, where he had put it months ago. It felt strange, odd after not wearing it for months, it had that new feel to it against her skin, but it didn't feel brand new. It felt like the return of an old friend, like her hand had just been waiting for its return this entire time and been empty without its presence.

She didn't know what to think of that. She couldn't even begin to fathom what this meant would happen when the sun rose but she knew that no matter what happened it would be unfair.

Will was a good man. He was there for her when no one else was. He was easy to talk to, easy to enjoy, he made her laugh when her heart hurt, and he obviously cared about her just as she cared for him.

But he didn't love her.

He loved Anastasia. His own true love. They both knew it, they'd both acknowledged and talked about it on several occasions, the fact that they both loved separate people was something that drew them closer together. But not close enough. They were close enough to be happy, but not enough to experience true joy. And she…she loved him enough that she wanted him to be happy, completely happy! And she knew that happiness was with her. She didn't think it ever had been. These last few weeks...they'd been good, but she thought that deep down they'd both known the entire time it wasn't right. It might have been. So long as Rumpelstiltskin lived outside of Storybrooke and Anastasia was in Wonderland with little to no chance of them ever seeing their perspective true loves again they probably had a good chance of making things work between them but with Rumple back…

Yes, Will was a good man, but he couldn't give her want she wanted, much less what she needed, he couldn't give her the bliss that she'd experienced. They were always doing something, always talking, they were never just together in a room living individual lives, feeding off the others presence and happy to be in each others company as she had with Rumple. There were still things in her life that she didn't want to tell Will, not because she didn't think he could handle it, but because she just didn't see the point of telling him! At least when she'd hid the tale of Anna from Rumple she'd felt guilty and known that she should have shared it. She didn't feel that with Will. And the thought of bring him here, in this place, this house, this room, her bed…

She glanced over at the space that she'd avoided for the last few months, the space that Rumpelstiltskin had slept on, that they'd both slept on when she started living here and she'd sleep comfortably in his arms night after night. No, Will wouldn't give her that. He couldn't. For one reason: the thought of having Will in this house was still unthinkable. It had come up several times now and she'd always found reasons to keep him away. She wasn't sure he'd noticed, she wasn't even sure she'd noticed how much it bothered her until now, but she didn't want him here. This place didn't belong to him, and this bed…

It would feel like an abomination to have him here. She wouldn't sleep soundly next to him. She couldn't imagine kissing him in the dark of the night or curling into him after a nightmare and the truth was that she didn't want to. She didn't want to sit in a room with him and just share the space. She didn't want to get up in the morning and get ready for work in the same room. She didn't want to have him soothe her nightmares or just know that he was there as she slept and the idea of sex?!

Never!

That was a special kind of life to live and she'd never wanted that life with him. She wasn't sure if she ever would and nights ago when it had come up it seemed pretty obvious that he felt the same way! They just…they weren't interested in one another like that. Lacey's stupid saying about having grape juice when there was wine flashed into her mind and silly as it was she knew that was why they didn't care for each other that way. She and Will had both had the wine and now everything else, even to each other, it would only ever be grape juice.

Will was good and kind and wonderful but…what she felt with him could never be the same as she felt with Rumple. He had always been capable of making her feel things she didn't know she could feel until he came along. Empowered. Strong. Brave. Sexy. Will didn't exactly make her feel ugly or weak but…he didn't make her go weak in the knees at his smile either. He'd never reduced her to childlike giggles or made her stomach turn around. The thought of being bared to him in the way she had been to Rumpelstiltskin, naked, in bed, hands everywhere, mouths…no. She just…she wasn't ready for that. He was…adorable and cute in a way she'd never considered grown men adorable and cute before. But he wasn't Rumpelstiltskin. They didn't fit together like…well, like that! Not now. And secretly she feared that no matter how much time passed they never would. That nothing would ever compare to the passion she'd had when she was with him. The way everything came so easy when they were alone in bed, the way she didn't have to think about it and never felt embarrassed.

She sighed as she looked back at her ring feeling caught between a rock and a hard place. So this was it then. A life of indecision. Settling, all, or nothing. But now she wasn't sure if she could settle. She didn't want to. With Rumple or anyone else. And as for having it all…she didn't think that was possible. Her husband was alive. He loved her…but she didn't think he could ever be honest with her. She wasn't sure if she could ever trust him again as she once had and that was…regrettable to say the least.

She loved him. She wanted him home. She wanted him here, tonight, to hold her and rub her back and tell her he loved her and would never let anything happen to her…but every time she'd had that moment from him it inevitably came with flaws. It came with the promise of hurt and pain and suffering. Because her husband was still alive, but he shared a body with the beast and the beast was still alive as well. The man she loved was a slave to that beast and if she could she would liberate him in a heartbeat to have what they once did! She just wasn't sure it was ever possible because now she knew that the beast would fight against her; against them.

So if she wouldn't settle, if she couldn't have it all, that left her with nothing.

And she wasn't sure she wanted that either.

"I'm so confused, Neal," she cried into the darkness as tears slipped from her eyes. She hadn't talked to him in so long. Over these last few months she hadn't needed to because Will had been there but now she felt like that hadn't been the good thing she once thought it might have been. Will had simultaneously filled two voids in her life and at the moment part of her believed that maybe she never should have let that happen.

"Oh, Neal you said you'd be here if I needed you, and I'm so, so confused," she exclaimed running her fingers over her ring, praying he'd still listen, hoping he could forgive her. "I don't know where to go, who to talk to, I don't know what plan to make or even if I have a goal to reach anymore. So much of who I am, who I was, it was all tied to your father. I thought I could get rid of it, rebuild on my own but I'm just not sure I can. I'm not sure I want to anymore. I'm bound to him, I always have been and I think I always will be and I don't know if I want to make a path away from that anymore but I don't know if I can bear the one that I know will follow if we're too closely entwined."

Nothing but silence greeted her and she felt the floodgates in her eyes burst open as she turned on her side and pushed her head into her pillow. "I miss you so much," she whimpered before the tears came.

It was the truth, but she wasn't sure who she was talking to. Not anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's our girl. See, she wasn't gone, she was just hiding. But everything comes back around eventually and I wanted this chapter so badly to contrast with the first chapter of this fiction, to make it a full independent circle and embrace everything she'd been denying from that night in the town. Plus, you didn't think I was going to let that little touch on the ring finger in the shop go did you? And then here we are, we have arrived at another problem that has been haunting Belle since 3B way back in MR&U. Neal. Did anyone realize that it wasn't just Rumple that seemed to disappear when Will came around, but that Neal's voice in her head slowly died away too? Belle and Neal, at least in Moments, was crafted to make them closer than two friends ever would be. They were friends, siblings, and sometimes mother and son...and I don't think she ever really mourned him the way that she should have because she was afraid to. Part of that fear was understandable. She was afraid she'd hurt Rumple. That by talking about him or mourning him when she had so much time and he had so little it would make things worse by making him feel like she was rubbing his face in it. I think that's natural. It was a long time after my Grandmother and my Uncle died before I felt like I could talk about them, the happy times, around my Grandfather because I was worried the memories would upset him. But the problem with that, with Belle, is that doing that doesn't allow her to mourn the way she needs to. And you know what they say about making big changes less than a year after someone has died. I'd be lying if I didn't think that losing Neal and pretending it was less than it was didn't contribute so to some of her character shift.
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	42. Worthy of Trust Once More

She wasn't exactly in a good mood this morning. Yesterday had been difficult to say the least and last night had been worse in a strange and unexpected way. She'd fallen asleep eventually and woke up this morning with scratchy red-stained cheeks, proof positive that she'd fallen asleep with tears sliding down her face. Her first thought this morning had been the ring she'd still worn on her finger. She kept it on for as long as she could, mesmerized by it as she'd gone about her morning in a strange trance-like state. She couldn't keep it on today, she'd have to take it off eventually but…she didn't feel ready just yet.

But there was something that she was feeling ready for, and she was dreading it almost as much as taking her ring off. She'd been in the shower when she'd come to the sad conclusion: she had to break up with Will.

She hated that thought. She hated that she felt like she was going to punish him for something that she'd done! Will was wonderful. He was everything she needed and should have been everything that she wanted after her marriage had failed. On paper they should have fit together perfectly and if Rumple wasn't back in town she suspected that eventually they probably would have settled for one another. She would have finally submitted divorce papers, they might have gotten married and convinced themselves they were perfectly happy with each other. One day they might have even had children and found that they could be in love with their family inside of each other. But she knew deep down that she just didn't want that. Not from him, at least. But she had from Rumpelstiltskin.

She didn't know what was happening between the two of them. She didn't know if she wanted their relationship back or if she wanted to tell him off completely and leave Storybrooke again herself just so that she'd never see him again. She didn't know if anything could ever be as it was, she didn't want it to be as it was, and she certainly wasn't ready to ever forgive him for the way he'd made things! But, the truth was, right now, if her thoughts for Rumpelstiltskin were anything beyond one hundred percent absolutely certainly positive that she wanted nothing to do with him then she couldn't be involved with Will. At least not like…that!

She cared for him. She loved him in a way. He was good for her. He'd been the best thing for her over these last few weeks and she hoped that they could still continue to be friends if they weren't dating. Talking was always what they were always good at anyway. Neither of them had much interest in the physical side of their relationship, miniscule as that side was. Maybe things would be better between them if they were friends.

But if he couldn't do that, if he didn't want to continue their relationship, then she would respect that. She wouldn't entirely blame him if he didn't. After all this time…she'd always known she still loved him. She'd hated that she did, but she'd known. Will had too. And she'd known that Will loved Anastasia and just because they had things in common and had both been scorned by their lovers…seeking shelter with each other didn't fix things. It only made things worse. It wasn't fair to anybody. And probably they never should have started it in the first place. She should have told him that the first time he'd suggested they started spending time together, instead of agreeing to it out of spite. That wasn't who she was. And if she allowed Rumpelstiltskin to take anymore of her than she already had, if she continued to work out the intimate details of her marriage with Will instead of her husband…nothing would ever be right.

So she'd break up with him. And she'd hope for the best. But what happened now between them had to be up to Will. She'd have to take whatever kind of relationship he wanted. Even if that was no relationship at all.

Rumpelstiltskin. Yet another relationship he'd taken from her. But even as she walked to town, toward the shop, she wasn't entirely sure that it was a bad thing this time around, or even that it really was his fault and she was angry with him for it. Angry with herself, absolutely. Angry with Rumple...not over Will. And that was yet another reason that she had to stop this now before it went any farther.

She reached into her pocket and scooped up her keys. He'd be here soon no doubt. He was like clockwork and she could expect him to come in the door with a coffee for him and a tea for her any second so she had better-

The door to the shop wouldn't open. She checked the keys in her hand, just to make sure she hadn't accidentally used the house key or the library key, but no. It had been the right key. She shook her head and fit it back into the lock. It still wouldn't budge. No matter how hard she twisted the lock was jammed it was like…

Like magic.

Something else was wrong. Really wrong. Her heart raced as she moved to one of the side windows and glanced inside. Nothing. No one appeared to be inside, nothing looked out of place, everything was exactly as she'd left it last night, and nothing was blocking the door. At least nothing that she could see anyway. It was silly, futile, she knew that before she even tried but once more she tried with the key and still nothing. Now she was nearly sure what was happening, but there was only one way to know for certain. She hoped that she was wrong.

She put her keys back into her pocket and placed her hands against the door. Magic always had it's fatal flaws and if this was what she thought it was then she knew exactly what to look for.

She pushed on the door.

Nothing.

That was a bad sign.

The door was old, or at least the curse designed it to be old, but she knew that like most old doors it had give to it, even when it was locked. Not a lot, but it would have been enough to prove to her it wasn't magic. The fact that it didn't move, that meant that it had been sealed shut. Magically sealed shut. And she could only think of one explanation for that. Rumpelstiltskin. She looked inside once more and still saw nothing but she knew, somewhere deep down in her heart of hearts she knew he was inside there.

With a sigh she rested her head against it's frame and closed her eyes, calling on all the courage and patience she had inside of her. "Rumple…" whispered against the crack. She shouldn't say what came next, not without speaking to Will first but something was wrong, she knew it was! She could feel it. He wouldn't do this for no reason at all. He'd had no animosity for her last night and he'd been in town for weeks now if he'd wanted to kick her out he would have done it before now which could only mean that he was inside and keeping her out for another reason entirely and she could feel that it wasn't good. Cruella and Ursula were gone. It was just him! But she wasn't afraid and she wasn't sure if that was good or bad.

"Rumple, please I know you're in there, just let me in, please let me talk to you," she begged gently. She tried the knob again after a quiet minute, hoping that maybe he'd removed the magic. Nothing. And after last night she'd been certain that if she'd asked then he would have let her in. She wasn't confidant about what would have happened once he let her in, but she felt like he would have done it. And better yet she felt ready to face him now in a way she hadn't been last night.

Only she couldn't because she couldn't get the door to open!

She sighed as she spun around and rested her back against the door trying to figure out her next move. She could call someone. David or Mary Margaret. Together they might have been able to come up with some way to get into the shop, some way that would have to be non-magical because Emma and Regina were gone and all the magic that she had was inside!

But she decided not to. It was a stupid thing to do. She knew it was. After everything he'd shouldn't have earned her trust. One good thing just shouldn't outweigh the dozens of terrible things he'd done in their marriage before last night! No, he shouldn't have earned it, and yet he had it. After what he had done yesterday he had gotten her trust back, at least her trust where she was concerned. He wouldn't hurt her. He wouldn't let anything bad happen to her. A lot had happened in Storybrooke over the last couple of weeks and yet through it all she had remained safe. He'd kept her safe even when she didn't know that she was in danger and she had to give him credit for that no matter how selfish she knew it was. If he was locking her out of the shop, refusing to see her even when all she wanted was to talk to him, then yes something was wrong. And she couldn't be a part of it. She sighed as she looked at the world around her and her eyes fell on her library, the place that she knew Rapunzel was working this morning.

She had an idea. Another stupid silly idea because lately any idea that she had that involved Rumpelstiltskin was certainly not the best idea she'd ever had, but this…this was just something that she had to do.

She couldn't be part of what was going on in there, but she'd be damned if she was going to abandoned him completely after last night. She owed him that much.

Before she could contemplate it any further she pushed herself off the door and walked across the street to the library. "Rapunzel!"

"Belle, hey," she smiled appearing from between the shelves. "I thought you'd be at the shop today? Will taking over again?"

"No," she answered. "No, definitely not, there's just something…something going on."

"Going on...what-what is it?"

"I don't know," she answered. "But it's probably best if you call your parents to come and get you. I'll handle the library today."

"Alone?" she questioned. "Are you sure? Maybe I can help with something."

"I doubt it, really it's probably safer for you if you go home."

"Go home and hide, you mean. Like a coward? Like I did in my tower?" she asked with raised eyebrows. She could hear the insinuation in her voice and she tried to shake her head, to tell her that she'd got it wrong...but she realized that she hadn't gotten it wrong. That was exactly what she'd meant...she just didn't know it until now. "Listen," in her silence Rapunzel dropped the stack of books she had in her arms down onto the table. "I'm glad for the job, it's helped me in ways I can't possibly tell you, but what I need now is for everyone, you, my parents, the Charmings, to stop treating me like I'm made of glass. I know I'm not Ruby or Rumpelstiltskin or Will or even Emma but I can help you and...and I'm going to, because I'm not going to leave you here in the library alone if there is danger."

Her speech left her reeling. So much so that in the seconds that followed she stared up at the girl with wide eyes and an open mouth because she couldn't think of anything to say. That was a lie. She knew what to say to her, because she'd said it once or twice herself when she'd had the feeling that she was treated like glass. Rapunzel was right. If she wanted to be in the town, part of it, if she really was going to work at the library, she may as well be helpful. "You're right...no one decides your fate but you."

"Exactly," the girl smiled. "Now...what do you need me to do."

What did she need her to do? The problem was she didn't know if she could think of anything that she needed her to do. At least not here in the library...she needed to be here. She wanted to be here and watch the shop. But if something was happening, something bad like she felt deep down in her soul, they what she really needed was someone to be her eyes and ears while she was babysitting. If something was really going to happen then there was only one place that she needed to be...and it might just keep Rapunzel safe as well.

"I need you to go to the diner."

"The diner?! Why?"

"Because if something happens then they'll know about it first, it's the heart of this town. I need to stay here and watch the store...I need someone to be my eyes and ears at the diner. I need you to go and stay there until I tell you that everything is alright. Can you do that?"

Rapunzel looked at her skeptically for a moment. "This isn't a trick right? You're not just trying to get me to leave you here alone-"

"Not at all," she argued honestly. "Please I need someone there today. It may be a hunch, but if I'm stuck here then it's what I need."

Rapunzel was stone faced for a moment but finally nodded in agreement and collected her coat and bag. "If I don't hear anything I'm going to bring you back lunch," she commented.

"Fine with me," she answered politely. She felt something warm in her stomach as the girl obeyed her and left for Granny's diner, it was a feeling she hadn't had since Ruby had been around. It was astounding, she'd lost Will, or probably she had, but was it possible another friend had been across the street the entire time?

She could consider that later, when she was sure things were right again. For now it was just her and her library...and her shop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this is actually a deleted scene, or my interpretation of a scene that got cut. I know Belle filmed for 4x20 one morning, they even released a promo picture for the scene (which they then promptly cut because...you know...who wants to see Belle right?) which serves as the cover image for this fiction. The scene has never been seen sadly, but set reports from people that were there that morning said that the scene consisted of Belle walking up to the shop, putting her keys in the lock, not being able to get into the shop, and leaving for the library. There was a lot of fan talk that Rumple had finally kicked Belle out but after seeing 4x19 I just don't think that was the case. So, my head canon has Rumple and Isaac show up in the shop after breakfast, Rumple is in bad shape, doesn't want to involve Belle (because despite what she believes he actually wouldn't want to talk to her, go figure right) so he bars the door and conceals their presence in the shop to get her to leave and keep her safe. Again, my head canon and now Moments Canon, doesn't necessarily need to be yours.
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	43. Red, Black, and Grey

Her phone rang it seemed only minutes after Rapunzel had left. She was calling already from the diner and some how when she picked up her phone she knew that it wasn't going to be good news.

"You were right, something's happened, the entire diner is buzzing about it," she hissed on the other line. She knew the diner was a safe place to start.

"Tell me," she demanded quickly. There was actually a lot going on and half the town already knew about it despite the fact that she was sure they weren't supposed to.

Emma and Regina had come back into town that morning. Not only did they bring Robin Hood and Roland back, but they'd also returned with Zelena. And that wasn't all, she wasn't able to confirm it, but according to Rapunzel, the rumor was that Zelena was pregnant. Her jaw had dropped at that news. She was still getting used to the idea that Zelena was alive, but the thought that she was pregnant with Robin's child...it left her speechless! Though she supposed she shouldn't have been terribly surprised. Zelena always had wanted to make Regina's life a living nightmare. Taking something like a child from Robin would have easily accomplished that. Still, it certainly was...creative, to say the least. She wanted to confront Regina about what she'd done with her heart, but after hearing that…she figured Regina would have enough on her plate. And if she knew Regina, or didn't know her as well as she thought she had, then it was probably better to avoid her at the moment. And Zelena...she wanted nothing more than to ask her what she had over her husband, how she'd ever convinced him to work with her but according to Rapunzel, the witch had been take to the hospital and her began to crawl because she had a feeling she knew exactly where Regina was going to put her. If she put her in the asylum, as she had her, then she knew there was no touching her, much less talking to her. And frankly, if she was int he asylum, she had no interest in going back there. Besides, even if she did talk to her, she had no confidence she could trust anything that came out of that witches mouth.

And according to Rapunzel there was more. There was always more, though not all at once. Supposedly Emma had succeeded in finding Lily, Maleficent's daughter. Rapzunel said they'd been reunited and caught a glimpse of them in the diner together. But the exchange hadn't exactly looked happy.

"There's something to her…" Rapunzel told her over the phone as she pulled her blinds down for the hundredth time to see if she could see anything going on over at the shop. Nothing. It still looked empty. "I can't put my finger on it but she just seems…off somehow." Somehow. According to Mary Margaret she contained the potential Darkness that was meant for Emma. "Off" was probably the nice way to put it until they figured out what was really "off" about her.

"Anything else?" she asked finally sensing the end of their conversation.

"Yes...one last thing actually. Rumpelstiltskin was here..."

She let the blinds slip from her fingers at the news. "He's there?!" she demanded, her pulse racing.

"He was," she corrected. "He showed up early this morning with a man."

"A man?" she questioned. "Who? Rapunzel, who was he with?"

"No one I've talked to seems to know. They just say it was a man and they vanished from the diner just after breakfast."

"And…no one has seen him since then?"

"No, is…is everything still okay? Do you want me to come back?"

No. She doubted everything was okay. And she knew that no one had seen him with that man because chances were they were across the street right now. "I'm not sure," she settled on. "But…stay where you are. Keep listening and let me know if you hear anything else. I'll call if I need anything."

"Well...is Will at least on his way over. I'm really not comfortable with you being there alone right now."

Will. She'd have to figure out what to do about that…later. "Probably," she conceded. "I'll stop him before he gets to the shop and if he shows up at Granny's just to let him know I'm in the library. I'll be fine until he gets here. And Rapunzel...thank you."

After saying good-bye they hung up and went back to their activities. Rapunzel stayed at the shop to listen and she continued her silent vigil of staring out the window. Rapunzel checked in, every hour on the hour until it was clear that there was nothing else going on. The excitement had passed and she knew it when she suggested she call her parents to get her and she didn't fight her. Rapunzel called at lunch and told her she was going home, so it figured that the first sign things were not as quiet as they thought came just after lunch. She'd dutifully watched the pawn shop all day. At first she'd tried to make herself look busy and uninterested but eventually she found herself tucked into the chair in her upstairs apartment that overlooked the shop doing nothing but watching. Nothing was happening. The shop was still, the street eerily quiet and then...

It was a cry; a roar. She had to put her hands over her ears to deafen it as she leapt out of her chair, fearing that the Chernabog had somehow managed to return.

But she didn't have long to think that because as she gazed out her she saw it, in the air, flying through the sky recklessly. A dragon. There was a dragon in Storybrooke! Not the craziest thing she'd ever seen in Storybrooke but still a sight to see nonetheless. She didn't waste time calling Rapunzel or Granny this time around. She picked up her phone and called Emma.

"Emma there's a-"

"Yeah…I see it."

Maleficent. She should have been looking for a way to solve that problem this morning instead of sitting around watching the shop like some sort of…well, like a Chernabog!

"I can't help you," she whispered. "I never found anything on defeating Maleficent."

"Don't need you to," Emma's voice came from the other end. "Mom and Dad called. It's not Maleficent, it's her daughter. Long story. Stay inside. We're on it," she muttered breathless before the line went dead in her hand. She stared at it there in her hand, feeling utterly shocked.

A dragon. Lily, Maleficent's daughter was a dragon! She should have realized, she should have known the instant that Rapunel told her something was "off" that Lily was a dragon. She supposed that until now she just hadn't put two and two together. But…but Emma thought that she could handle it. Just like the Chernabog. Should she trust that or go look just in case for answers? Last time she and Killian had managed to find them but Emma hadn't needed it in the end because she and Regina had a plan.

A plan.

Her eyes drifted over to the store, the very still, too innocent looking store. Was all this part of a plan? Had Rumple intended for all of this to happen for Maleficent's daughter to turn into a dragon and reek havoc on the town the moment she returned?

No. No, he hadn't. Because Maleficent wasn't working with him. In fact Maleficent had been working against him! She'd been the one that had guarded her heart for Regina so that Rumple wouldn't get it and Regina and Emma could safely make the trip to New York. No. Whatever this was, it wasn't part of his plan. It was just a fluke! A show of power by a girl that probably didn't even know she'd had any power until she got here! So...if this wasn't his plan then what was? What was he doing over there in that shop? Why was he keeping her out?

Certainly he wasn't coming up with a way to stop the dragon. A heart as black as his thrived on this kind of chaos…

A heart as black as his…

His heart…

_"My heart is nearly black. And if I continue hurting you…then there is no hope for me."_

The words came back to her perfectly only this time he wasn't around to distract her with his sad eyes. Those words. They meant something. She knew they did. Anything that could help her now? With a dragon? Doubtfully. Anything that could help her figure out what it was exactly he was doing over there? She wouldn't know until she risked a look.

With a final glance over to the shop, just to make sure nothing had changed, she tore out of her apartment and down into the library, into the back room that she kept her books from their world, secluded from the reality they lived in. Hearts! A black heart, she'd read about that somewhere. Months ago, when she'd been looking to figure out what Zelena wanted with Regina's heart.

No. It hadn't been Regina's actual heart that she wanted it had only been the copy. The symbol! That was what Regina had pulled from her. A symbol of her very soul. Bright and red meant good and black…black was something else entirely.

The book on symbols, the one that she'd been attached at the hip to all those months ago because it held the answer to everything! It would have the answer to this…wouldn't it? There! She flipped back a few pages to the place she'd passed and read the familiar lines once more:

_"The human heart has become one of the most recognized and common ingredients in both dark and light magic. Frequently hearts are used to represent love or romance within the magical community, but there are other lesser known representations as well. The heart can be used to represent any emotion: love, passion, greed, desire, resilience, anger, and any other emotion so long as it is strong within the human the heart is taken. Because it is believed the actions of the individual effects the heart, wicked deeds turning it black and good deeds lightening it, some spells specifically require a certain type of heart to channel a certain emotion or personality trait. For example, in dark magic, a potion to create amorous desires requires the heart of one who has experienced true love."_

That was it, exactly what she'd read last year. Only while it had once been the most helpful thing she'd ever read, now it was nothing more than a small factoid. She was right. Bright and red like her heart meant good. Black was bad. But…no it didn't work like that. It wasn't as black and white as it sounded. The clues were few but they were there! Good deeds could "lighten" a black heart, but not fix it. And "actions" effected the heart not "an action". It was a process, it happened slowly over time. Hearts could become bright and red as hers had been just as they could fade into black.

_"Now it's too late. My heart is nearly black. And if I continue hurting you…then there is no hope for me."_

That was what he'd been talking about. "Nearly". The key word he'd used was "nearly". Which meant that his heart wasn't black yet. But it almost was. And if he didn't hold onto her, the one good thing he had left…it would become black. That was what was happening. Centuries of "wicked deeds" were taking their toll and turning his heart completely black. So…what did that mean? What happened to a person when there wasn't single drop of good to them anymore? When their hearts only reflected evil? Would he…would he die again?

She shook her head and felt tears fill her eyes at the thought of that. No. No, she couldn't let that happen. She couldn't go through losing him like that again! She couldn't let him die, she couldn't let the light go out in him and if she had to get Emma to magically break down the door to the shop she wasn't going to let him go! If that was really what was bound to happen.

Hearts. She needed information on hearts! Somewhere something had to be said in one of these books on the subject! What happened when a heart turned black?!

She didn't think she'd ever been so careless with her precious books. In a flash she pulled them off their shelves, opened them up and skimmed through pages and chapters of pointless words looking for answers. A few times, when she'd run out of space, she'd even pushed a few onto the floor. She couldn't be bothered to take the time to right them right now. She sun was going down. Nearly a day had passed and she didn't care where Lily was or what happened to the others, she had to know this now!

But no matter what she found she only seemed to find the same thing over and over again. _"Red hearts symbolize a person of valor while black hearts reveal a poisonous nature"_ … _"those with hearts not of gold but of red or dark pink are of purest intent while those blemished with black and gray have harbored malicious intent in the past that have stained their souls" … "when teaching young sorcerers and sorceresses the consequences of using their magic for dark purposes they should always abide by this rhyme: a heart of red must be fed lest a heart of black will crack!" … "On rare occasions hearts other than black or red have been noted in history but never studied" … "a red heart" … "a good heart of red" … "vicious black deeds" … "when using hearts for potions, color matters" … "hearts of red are full of love" … "hearts of black have known hate" … "those with the purest of hearts"… "Beware the blackest of hearts..."_

There! Yes!

She nearly lost her breath, hunched over the table to read the warning better.

_"Beware the blackest of hearts. Heed this warning and take it to heart. Man cannot forever commit sins against fellow man without consequence. For the darker he turns his heart, the darker it shall turn him. You may have heard a tale of a children's rhyme encouraging the feeding of the good soul with good, honest deeds lest their hearts turn on them and crack in two. 'Tis a sad tale many will live by but few will choose to ignore. For those few that do, they are lost to us. The further they turn from love, the more love turns from them until one day a black heart will rob them of the simple joy and pleasure of all love. It is a deadly infection, an incurable disease. For here is a riddle, to guess if you can, what makes a monster and what makes a man? The answer is simple fair wanderer if only you ask the right question of yourself. Without love, can a man still be a man?"_

She couldn't breathe. She couldn't cry or swallow or even weep for him. She couldn't do anything but stare at those words because old as the book was it felt like those words had been meant for her to read all along. A warning to the man that kept the monster within him at bay. The ancient script might have been difficult to read but the meaning was clear to her. So tragically and horribly clear.

Love. The red in a person's heart was love. And without that love, if a heart turned black…oh he wouldn't die, not physically. But he would. He would die. Her husband, Rumpelstiltskin, he would die. Because if he couldn't love, not her, not his son, not Henry, then what was left of him…it wouldn't be the man that she'd once know. Without love…there would be only the monster. The Dark One. Unyielding. Unstoppable. Stronger than ever with no weakness in sight.

That was enough to break her. To make her shiver, to make her truly afraid of him and what he could and would do possibly for the first time in her life.

So…what was he doing?! He had to know this, if yesterday was any indication then clearly he did know this and clearly he wanted to stop it! Otherwise…otherwise he wouldn't have helped her. Because he loved her. And he didn't want to lose that love. Like she'd forced him to when she'd taken it away months ago. Oh…what had she done…

Something happened.

It was hard to say what. At first it was like she'd put her hands over her ears only she hadn't. The book she held in her hand fell to the ground when she dropped it in shock but she didn't hear it hit the floor. The floor was shaking books were tumbling all around and in the air was a high pitched disorienting tone. Like a whining or a wailing she couldn't recognize. The ground was shaking, moving violently beneath her feet. And the light…! This room had only two small half windows toward the top of the wall! It barely got any light during the day much less this time of day when the sun was going down. Her heart was racing. It was getting brighter and brighter, it was blinding! She knew just before she closed her eyes and put her arm up to shield them from the burning-

This was what he'd done.

This was what she'd done!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know Belle is back in action when she starts thinking logically and becomes Research!Belle again. Oh how I love Research!Belle! Obviously she was the star of this chapter. The rest of it...it's not that I think it was weak I just think this chapter had a bit of filler chapter in it. I hope that you enjoyed it though and may I just say...the next chapter is not one of, but my FAVORITE chapter of ME&U. I can't wait for you to read it! I hope you'll love what I did with the AU!
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	44. The Way It Always Was

"Beautiful Belle. My beautiful Belle it's morning and there are things I must do. Sweetheart? Sweetheart can you roll over for me?"

"What if I don't want to?" she teased sleepily, her voice only a matching his whisper because neither of them were brave enough to talk in anything louder. But she felt him smile, felt his joy light up the room as his hand slipped over her spine to grab her waist and press a kiss to her forehead.

"Then I'll be forced to remain at your side for the remainder of the day," he whispered. "Ogres will pillage the land, farms will be uprooted, families destroyed, the young and the old will die, and not a soul will be left to tell their sad tale."

Now that was a sad tale. But the sarcasm in his voice made her smile. Or maybe it was just the fact that she knew he could, and would, reverse all of that. If only she rolled out of his arms and let him get dressed. "Well…" she sighed finally releasing him and rolling over onto her other side. "I suppose I can't argue with that."

Their bed shifted, but not in the way that she expected it to. Instead of getting out of bed he rolled right up next to her and wrapped his arm around the one she had draped over her waist entwining their fingers together. "You might not argue against it, but in a match of comparison there is none. If you commanded it I would gladly forfeit the safety of the realms to stay here with you all day," he whispered in her ear.

She beamed. No, he wouldn't do that. He might say that he would but he wouldn't. At the sound of the first distant cry out their door he not only would have torn himself from her to rescue the poor soul, but she would have insisted and he'd do it. And that was why she loved him. So, finally she opened her eyes and turned onto her back, just enough to shift herself against him and kiss him. "Go be a hero, my Rumpelstiltskin."

"As you wish," he whispered back, taking another kiss from her before untangling himself and collecting his armor.

She watched in amazement as he moved. He pretended not to notice, though they both knew that she did it every morning before he left. It was one of her favorite parts of the day, when they could be with each other in the quiet calm before either of them had chores to do. They could just be each other. They led a simple life, a plain and humble life. And it might not be the life that her father had imagined for her, but it was certainly a good life. And after living through her ordeal, she couldn't imagine living any way other than this way. She couldn't imagine how her life would have turned out if her father had gotten his way.

Well, that wasn't completely true. She had a pretty good idea of what it would have been like if her father had his way, because she'd gotten a little taste of that life.

He was a tyrant. A monster. A terrible king that was purposefully blind and ignorant to the suffering of his people. He refused to let The Light One come and help when the ogre's invaded because his own castle was a stronghold, impenetrable. What did he care if his people lost their own homes and businesses so long as he continued to rule from his terrible iron throne? He hadn't loved her. He'd seen her as a burden, a terrible influence on those that worked for him and lived under him with her bright ideas and kind words. He'd never tame her, he'd tried all her life to control and rear her to be a ruler like he was and she'd fought him so hard that one day the idea that she was different had finally sunk in. From then on the only use he could find for her was as a good to be exchanged in a business deal.

Gaston, the son of his most valued and trusted nobleman, also a tyrant. He'd also been an idiot, easy to use, malleable to the whims of those around him. Including her father. Not only was he the type of man that her father could see as King one day, but he was also the type of man that would carry on the deadly traditions that her father had upheld in their poor kingdom, probably because her father would have been whispering in his ear every step of the way.

In hindsight, she wished she would have stood up to her father sooner. She'd always wanted to but secretly she'd always been afraid of him. As it turned out that fear was justified. When the day finally came that he informed her of her betrothal she'd refused. She'd told him exactly what she thought of him and his pet monkey, Gaston. She was all too happy to inform him of the Kingdom he had, and every cruel, wicked thing that he was doing, everything that she was sure to change to moment that she became Queen! She'd finally done it. She'd finally stood up to her father. But at a terrible cost.

He was cruel. He was terrible and all because she was too kind, too "soft" he'd said. He'd broken her arm when he grabbed her and threw her in that tower "for her own good" until she grew up and hardened that soft heart of hers. Until she agreed to marry Gaston. Oh, she thought she'd be there forever, locked away in that tower her arm in so much pain it hurt to even look at it. But she didn't stay there. Not for long.

Her cries day and night had been heard by the people that dwelt in the Kingdom and the Light One was secretly summoned, not to save them, but to save her. He came in the dark of night, appearing by magic like some angel she didn't know existed. When he'd tried to pull her to her feet he'd seen what her father had done to her and he'd waved his gloved hand over her arm and healed it, taking all of the pain away so easily. He rescued her. Before she had even known what had happened he'd pulled her up and into his arms and they'd been gone. He'd taken her to a meadow, with a small village and the sound of children laughing and playing.

It should have just been a normal job for a knight, she knew it was something that they did all the time, but when she looked at him, as she watched him trying to dismiss himself she saw more than just a knight. Or maybe it was that she saw less. Though he was truly her hero he was also a good man that deserved happiness of his own and though she saw fulfillment in his eyes, she didn't see happiness.

"No, don't!" she'd called before he could leave. "Please, I…I have nowhere else to go and I am in your debt."

"You owe me nothing, Princess!" he'd chirped with false happiness. "Good deeds have their own rewards!"

"But good deeds won't keep house, or stroke the fire, or put food on the table," she'd argued. "Please, I…I, I have few skills but I could work for you, help you with your home, please…it's the least I can do. It's maybe the only thing I can do."

"There is a man," he whispered, "the next town over by the name of Scarlett, if it's money and shelter you seek-"

"I seek purpose," she argued. "I want to live, not be waited upon. I want to be a good person, clear my debts, and if doing good for those that do good for others is all that I can do then I'll do it! I can do that for you. If you'll let me."

It took more pleading, but in the end she knew that she'd had him. Eventually he had agreed to her proposal and taken her to his home, just on the outskirts of a small village. Secluded in the middle of the woods she learned all the things that she'd never been permitted to learn under her dreadful fathers roof. She learned to cook and clean, how to tend fires and keep a house neat. And she learned that there was more to the Light One than the tales told.

He was more than good he was kind. And private. Very private. He wore armor to protect himself from battle but he wore a different type of armor around others, to uphold his character and slowly, the more and more they were around each other that armor began to falter and she began to see just how human he was. She saw his hopes and dreams, even his fears and concerns. He doted on her, bringing her books and prizes and souvenirs from his travels. She served him, she listened to the tales he was all too happy to share and surprised him with treats after particularly tough days. They became friends And one night after a particularly gruesome battle ended and he returned home, saddened because he hadn't been able to help all of the innocents, she'd kissed him. And when she opened her eyes she'd seen the most glorious and wonderful sight as butterflies she'd only ever read about but had never experienced fluttered in her stomach.

"Kiss me again," she whispered pulling him closer. "It's working!"

"What?" he'd asked breathless reaching for her desperately. "What is?"

She smiled as she looked over his confused face. Could he really not see it? "You're beginning to live. To be just as happy here," she muttered touching his heart, "as you pretend to be here," she whispered kissing the corner of his mouth.

He shook his head. "But I am happy, I am…aren't I?"

She let out a soft chuckle at such a curiosity. If he couldn't say it with confidence then she would think that answer would be obvious. "You've been alive for so long, Rumple, spent more than one lifetime saving everyone around you, isn't it time that you let someone save you?"

He'd stared at her in wonder for a few moments, then he'd nodded and she reached up to kiss him again. He kissed her back. One led to another and another, which led to an embrace that continued shamelessly into his bedroom and from that moment on they'd been more than just employer and employee. They'd been lovers until they were married, which was only days later.

It was a rushed wedding, but a happy marriage. It was a wonderful, good relationship. Like something out of one of the books she read. They rarely fought and on the few times they did it wasn't long until one of them saw their error and apologized. When he went on far away trips he always took her with him and she always was the one to remove that armor night after night and turn him back into the man that she knew him to be underneath the hero the world knew.

Until last year, when he'd been sitting at the table and told her they were needed immediately in a faraway town for a couple of weeks.

"I, uh…I don't know if that's a good idea for me, right now," she replied sadly.

He'd looked at her with worry at once. She'd never turned down an offer to go with him before. "Why not?" he asked nervously and she broke into a smile because it wasn't all as bad as he thought.

"I'm just not sure being on a horse that long would be good for the baby," she said touching her hand to her stomach.

It took a moment for the news to sink in, but when it did she wasn't sure if she'd ever seen him happier. She honestly didn't know if she had ever felt happier! There was a time that she would have feared having a child and yet now that it was the two of them, she couldn't think of anything she'd rather do than be who she was with the two of them. Her family.

She smiled at the memories as he got dressed and cast a glance over at their son, only a few months old, still peacefully asleep in his crib at their bedside. No, she couldn't think of anything she'd rather be doing.

"Can you help me with this?" he asked taking a seat next to her on the bed and indicating a synch that he was never able to reach on his own.

"Of course," she whispered predictably, sitting up and expertly moving her hands over the armor she'd helped him shine just the other day. Well, there was one thing that she was looking forward to, one thing that she couldn't wait to do again when little Neal grew up to be a little bit bigger. "I miss the days you used to take me with you," she whispered finishing the job for him.

"I do too," he sighed taking her hands. "But your job here is just as important if not more important than my own."

"I know," she agreed. "I just miss spending all that time with you."

He nodded. She knew that he missed it too. Sometimes it was hard to believe that they hadn't been in each other's lives forever. She didn't know how she'd existed before he came along. "I'll tell you what," he muttered suddenly. "I don't anticipate wandering far today. I'll be back this afternoon for tea and dinner. Just the two of us!"

She smiled at the thought of that gesture. It was a good idea. Though not a complete one. "Three of us," she corrected quickly.

Rumple smiled and cast a glance over to the crib, his happiness dissolving for a brief second into the protective knight until he realized their son was safe and sound and he could look over at her again with perfect happiness. "Haven't quite gotten used to that change yet," he admitted.

She let out a small snort and smiled again because she hadn't either. What a wonderful problem to have! "Be safe my handsome prince," she whispered as she leaned forward to hug him before he departed for the day.

"And you as well my beautiful Belle. Never doubt that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Ever."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ::Jumps up and down excited:: Oh how I hope ya'll love this chapter. I put you through hell with this fiction (thanks for that A&E) but secretly, every step of the way I was hoping that this chapter would redeem it! I can't tell you how much I enjoyed writing this chapter! Rumple's version of a happy ending! I love it! There is so much joy, so much happiness! No, I know it can't undo all of ME&U but I do hope that it at least makes the journey worth it!
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	45. Beware the Grin of the Cheshire Cat

She had everything that she needed to make their favorite soup for dinner. Carrots, celery, potatoes, all from the garden, naturally. No, it wasn't her forte per say, flowers were always her particular specialty, but the wonderful people in this village had rallied around her husband long before she had arrived and seeing that he never had time to feed himself organized a garden. Of course it had been for him, but knowing that he'd never use it on his own the entire community used it. When she arrived they'd welcomed her with open arms into their village and their garden. Now all she needed to do every day was figure out what she needed and take the food grown there by women whose thumbs were far greener than her own. In fact, sometimes they were too excited for her to use it and she walked out with enough food to feed twenty people instead of just two, but it was fine. It was nice to know just how beloved her husband was by everyone, not just her.

But…

It wasn't every day that she saw a stranger in the village.

She knew everyone, she was sure of it! Many of the woman had helped her through her pregnancy and childbirth since he couldn't be around, the older children were always happy to watch Neal whenever she needed and the younger ones would drop off flowers or food, water. And the men, they were amazingly kind. During the winter months when she'd been too pregnant to do much of anything and he'd had to take long trips out in order to save other villages from the ogres they had chopped wood for her, tended the horses, Even worked together to create the small crib Neal was currently using, but…she didn't know this man.

Tall and slender, dressed in…odd apparel to say the least, and looking around the village as if he was lost. No. Nothing about him was familiar. And from the way he was behaving and the strange way all her friends were examining him she felt strongly that it wasn't just her imagination. Nothing about this little village was familiar to him! So then…where had he come from? And why was he here?

"Grace?"

"Yes, Madam?" the teenage girl only a few rows away from her asked kindly, offering a friendly smile that wasn't deserved when she felt so distracted.

"Can you take this back to the house for me and check on Neal, I'll be along in a moment," she said handing her the basket of fresh vegetables and wiping her hands on the apron she'd worn over her dress.

"Yes of course!" the girl smiled before running off to their house. That taken care of, she straightened her back and moved around her friends with a friendly smile before finally stepping up toward the man.

"Hello," she smiled.

"Oh! Hello!" the man smiled back as she finally caught his eye.

"I'm…I'm sorry but I don't recognize you and you seem…lost."

There was something strange about the smile that he gave, something unfriendly about it. It was almost like it was forced, slippery. There was nothing genuine about it. It reminded her of some of the smiles she'd once seen in her fathers court. "Well…I suppose you could say that. You see I'm…I'm not from around here," he whispered stepping up to her as if it was a secret. The way he was acting, she was quite sure everyone knew that already. "I was just passing by on my way, looking for your well. As soon as I've had a bit to eat and some water to drink I'll be on my way!"

She nodded. Of course. That was a reasonable answer. They got visitors like that a few times a year, making trips to and from other villages. They weren't common, that was one of the reason he'd chosen this village to settle down in as opposed to some of the busier places. According to him, these visits became even less common after the ogres became a problem. But even something that was a rarity had to occur on occasion. So long as she knew everything was alright, she wouldn't worry.

"Oh, well…good luck on your journey," she smiled before turning. Rumple would be home any minute now, she needed to get dinner stewing and their tea together.

"Oh, uh…Miss!" the man called after her. "Sorry, I know you are probably busy but…I was just wondering if you had a gourd or…or perhaps a bucket, something to draw water with. Silly me to have left home without one," his grin still made her nervous, it was strange, but it reminded her of something. A grin that she'd read about in a book, or maybe dreamt she'd read about but…she supposed that in the beginning, when she'd first arrived here, she'd been a bit awkward too. It couldn't be easy, traveling on his own in a strange village. And with nothing to fetch water from?! It was unfortunate. Truly it was. Yes, Rumple would be home any moment now but, she could do better than a gourd or a bucket! After a long journey she would certainly want better. And besides, it was the right thing to do. She and Rumple always wanted to do the right thing.

"I think I have just what you are looking for," she smiled back, giving him a little wave to follow. "Come! Follow me to my home just down this way here."

"Oh, no, no, no I wouldn't want to impose-"

"Nonsense! I'm inviting you. Besides it'll just be for a glass of water to get you on your way again."

"Thank you, Miss…"

"Belle!"

"Miss Belle! I'm Isaac and you are most kind!" They walked together the short distance to the house and she held the door open for him and for Grace, who whispered that Neal was just fine before heading back to her father.

"Take a seat and I'll get you some water," she offered, taking her apron off and locating a cup.

"Thank you again, for your kindness," Isaac smiled. "What a lovely home you have here! It's so…picturesque!"

She nodded and looked around their wonderful little patch of heaven. "Some say it's small but…it suits us well enough," she said handing him a glass.

"Thank you. And your son is just lovely. They're so wonderful at that age. So innocent and pure, white as snow, charming in their own way you could say." There was that smile again, the one that made her uncomfortable, as if he was having his own private joke. If Rumple wasn't the Light One, wasn't bound to be home promptly, as promised, in only a few minutes time she probably would have worried. But as it was she knew that he'd warded their home with protectors against wicked magic, if this Isaac fellow was here then...he might be a little awkward, but certain he had no dark magic.

She nodded as she stepped away from him to start on dinner and cast a glance into the small crib where Neal was still sound asleep. "He's been a blessing to us from the moment he was born," she confirmed. Water. The remaining water needed to be set into the pot to begin to boil then she could begin the chopping. Potatoes first of course. Then the onions, the carrots, the celery-

"And your husband! He's on his way home I trust!" Isaac added. She did her best to smile and nod at him, all the while thinking that he really was rather talkative for someone who was supposed to be thirsty.

"He'll be home for the night any minute now."

"Ah! Good. It uh…it seems like you've got a nice romantic evening planned."

She nearly splashed herself as she spilled water into the pot. There was talkative and then there was nosy. And she really didn't understand how the night that they had planned was any business of a stranger. Surely he knew that was an inappropriate comment to-

The familiar sound of hooves stopping just at their door was an immediate distraction. She knew those noises anywhere! "Oh that's him now! He's home!"

She'd barely gotten the words out of her mouth before the door swung open and her dashingly handsome prince made his appearance with a happy smile. Just like he did every time he saw her. "Belle!" he breathed happily.

And just like always she was in his arms, kissing him, before he could say another word. Home for dinner just as promised. She'd never be surprised by that. He kept every promise that he'd ever made to her. But then Neal was gurgling as he so often did next to them, demanded his attention just as much as she did…even in his sleep it appeared he could sense his father's presence. It was truly a wonderful thing to behold.

"Seems like someone else wants to celebrate your return," she whispered and beamed just as he did, admiring his son with a proud smile that could only be described as fatherly. There was nothing that either of them loved more than having their entire family gathered together under one roof.

Rumple moved to close the door and she moved aside so he could have a moment alone with the son she knew he wished he saw more often, if his duties allowed it. "And how is the newest member of our dear family?" he questioned leaning over to inspect his sleeping form; to guard his dreams just as he did hers. Perfect. Her, him, Neal, their entire family…everything was just perfect. And watching the pair of them together always made her heart beat faster and feel as though she needed to cry with joy. Was it possible for a heart to burst open out of pure bliss?

"With any luck he'll grow up to be just like dear old dad!" Rumple jumped at the noise and she glanced over at Isaac. Things were so perfect that she'd nearly forgotten he was there.

"Belle! You didn't tell me we had a visitor!" he piqued, his armor suddenly right back in place around the man. She didn't mind. She knew the moment that Isaac was gone, hopefully any moment now, it would come off for her and little Neal just as it always did.

"Name's Isaac. I was traveling through you're village when your wife invited me in to slake my thirst," he explained for her, happily taking a loud swallow from the glass of water she'd given him. Only instead of looking satisfied and ready to continue on his journey, his nose turned up at it immediately. "Oh…not to be too picky but the water tastes a little murky…" he complained.

"Oh!" That was hardly picky for a wayward traveler. He'd been thirsty. He should have good water to drink. It was what her wonderful husband would have done if it was him. And she supposed that the bucket had been sitting there just a bit too long. Besides, if that was the one thing keeping him from being on his way, she'd be all too happy to fetch it for him. "I'll get some that's fresh from the well!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that you liked this chapter. Wanna know something messed up? Villain of 4B and this was the only scene I really had to write for him. Terrible right. Ah well. I hope that I got Isaac alright. I feel like I did good with him, but I guess we'll see. And as for the title of the chapter...come on, I can't be the only one that thought he had a grin like the Cheshire Cat...can I?
> 
> As always thank you to Judymulder for your wonderful comment. I was so happy to hear you loved the last chapter! It's my favorite for ME&U by...well...by a LOT! For obvious reasons I should think. After this there is only one more AU chapter until we're back to Storybrooke to wrap this up for good! Peace and Happy Reading!


	46. Confidence in Eternity

Isaac didn't stay long. In fact the moment she'd returned from the well with a fresh pail of water, he was already on his way out. "Thank you, again, for your kindness and sharing your wonderful family with me. May they bring you joy for an eternity," he stated before hurrying off. And yet that wasn't the strangest part of it. The moment she'd gotten back into the house she noticed that while her husband's armor was off, his internal defenses were still very much in place. "Wow…he sure left in a hurry," she stated in confusion. "Is everything alright?"

"I'm…I-I'm not sure just yet," he answered, looking her over before looking at Neal and suddenly inching closer and closer to the door. "I think…I think I gave our visitor poor directions."

Oh…yes that would be horrible! She wouldn't want Isaac or anyone for that matter to get lost in the woods. And especially with the ogre's running around all over the place. "Well…he just left, I'm sure you could still catch him if-"

"Yes!" he interrupted. "Yes, that's a remarkable idea. I'll be back soon, Belle. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about today."

She nodded as he stepped passed her and kissed her cheek swiftly. "I'll start the tea!" but she wasn't sure that he heard her. He seemed…distracted. But that was explainable. He'd spent lifetimes in this world worrying about everyone except for himself. He knew as well as she did that giving Isaac wrong directions in the middle of a war with the ogres was a potentially fatal mistake. He'd dedicated his life to helping others, being directly responsible for the death of one of those people would weigh heavy on him.

But it was fine. Isaac hadn't been gone long, he'd catch him. He'd catch him and correct his mistake. He'd make it right. And when he did, she'd make sure to have dinner cooking and tea ready so that they could spend their evening together just as they planned. Only he didn't come right home. She expected him to return only moments later while she was making dinner. But he didn't. She had time to chop all the vegetables, started the soup, soothed one of Neal's rare urges to be held, and gotten the tea made by the time she realized he should be back.

But she didn't worry. She never worried. He was always careful and he never lied to her. If he said he'd be back then he'd be back. Undoubtably he'd gotten sidetracked by the cries of some innocent, or stopped to visit the children that so often asked him to play with them in the meadow, or perhaps he'd decided to talk Isaac into staying the night at an Inn somewhere since it was late. That was perfectly like him. Nothing to be concerned about. He'd be home and in the meantime there was no reason that she couldn't relax with her tea in hand and her son sleeping happily by her side just like always. Those small bursts of tears always did send him off into a deep sleep. She was lucky. She knew that babies could sometimes be a handful but theirs wasn't. He slept soundly through the night and only ever cried when he needed something, as he had not long ago. But those kinds of tears, when all he wanted was to be held by his mother, she was always happy to sooth until he was asleep again. Occasionally in his sleep he'd let out a little coo, a little fuss as he readjusted, but quickly dropped back off into sleep. Her little angel, beautiful and good. Just like his father. Just like their family.

She put her cup down as he yawned and began to stir again, so she happily rocked the cradle for him so he'd think he was still in her arms and settle back into slumber. Only she couldn't gaze upon him as she usually liked because there was a light in her eyes from her other angel finally coming home once more from seeing Isaac out properly. But...he didn't look nearly as relieved as she would have guessed he would when he returned.

She knew that look, that beat down exhausted look he got when someone was in danger or he wasn't as successful as he wanted to be. When something in his past was lurking. Only…he hadn't had that look when he'd first arrived home? Had she been wrong? Was there something else wrong other than giving Isaac some poor instructions? It had to be. Otherwise he wouldn't look like that.

"What…what's wrong?" she asked as he closed the door. It must have been serious. Whenever he retrieved a chair to sit with her before launching into a story, especially with that look on his face, it was always serious.

"I've just learned…of a threat to our realm," he informed her sitting down and glancing over at her. "If left unchecked…it'll destroy all that we've built together…all our happiness."

That was awful. Truly awful and terrifying but…not sad. If there was a problem then they could solve it. They always solved problems together, whether or not the realm knew it they'd been equal partners in the fight against the ogres from the moment they met. She considered their safety just as much her responsibility as he did. And even at his declaration she could see the solution easily enough. That was how it always was. He might have been the brawn, but since she'd come along she'd been the brain. And this was an easy solution. Every time the ogres threatened to destroy everything good, he destroyed them first.

"But you're the Light One," she reminded him. "Whatever this force is you'll overcome it." There. Simple enough. Sometimes he just needed the reminder that he could do it! Though they needed to have a talk now about where he'd been and who he'd talked to while he should have been out seeing to Isaac!

"It's more complicated than that," he whispered sadly. Another blow. The words that she expected had been words of confirmation because she was right and he'd been foolish not to see it. She hadn't expected complicated. How? How was it more complicated? "Eliminating this threat means I have to make a difficult choice," he went on as if he'd read her mind. "And if I make the wrong one…"

"But you won't! You never do," she reminded him reaching forward and placing her hand over his own. So that was the problem. She'd seen this before too. It was all in his head. Sometimes he was his own worst enemy and doubted himself too much. That was something she only ever saw when his armor came off in times like these. It was then that he needed her not to be the brains in their relationship but to simply believe in him, to tell him that no matter what she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was good enough and would never let the people or her or little Neal down. Sometimes the pressure of his burden was a heavy price for him to pay.

"You're a hero, Rumple."

"Yeah, but what if I'm not?" he asked.

Now he was being ridiculous, even more than usual. There was simply no other way for him to be! He was either a hero or he wasn't and he'd done too much good in this world to ever not be considered a hero. He should just ask any of the lives that he'd saved, any that he would save! He could ask her. He'd saved her! And now she knew his heart, his true heart, better than anyone else, with and without it's dreaded armor. He was a hero, a good man through and through. Whatever this threat was he'd conquer it because he wouldn't put his family at risk. He'd make the right choice. He just needed to be free from this downward spiral he'd placed himself on. The dread that too much pressure brought on. He needed a distraction. And she had not only the perfect one, but one of their favorites, ever since she'd been his maid and they'd been…well, less than this.

She turned and picked up another set of china, already filled with his favorite brew of tea all ready for the rest of their quiet evening together when maybe she could get to the bottom of this "threat" once and for all. "Here, things never seem quite as bleak after a cup of tea," he smiled recalling the words he'd once used on her the first time he'd come home and found her upset because she'd burned the soup. He'd given her this very type of tea, a tea from her homeland. He'd gotten it on the trip he made to liberate them all after she'd confessed how much she worried for them.

Suddenly she wasn't sure what happened, only that she heard the clatter and unmistakable sound of china breaking the moment she'd turned her back to retrieve her own cup. "Oh Belle I'm so sorry," he whispered as he reached down and picked up the tea cup.

She glanced down at the small mess, wondering if the shards would endanger Neal before a happy feeling that he'd continued to sleep through the entire thing came over her. Well maybe she was wrong. Looking down at the floor, it seemed fine to her. It certainly wasn't as broken as she'd feared. It was a mess, but nothing to worry about. Certainly nothing to apologize about! It wasn't as if she hadn't dropped a dish or two in her lifetime.

"It's alright!" she assured him reaching forward and examining the spot his fingers were busy running over. Now she saw it. It wasn't whole, but it wasn't exactly broken either. "It's fine! See, it's just chipped! We can fix it," she assured him as she set it aside. It was fine really. Just a small little chip. Still useable, still beautiful. In fact, she really rather preferred it that way. Not everything in their lives needed to be perfect. A few imperfections added character!

"I'm not so sure it's as simple as that," he whispered softly before she could pour him another cup. He was still so focused on whatever it was that lay beyond this house. Maybe a simple cup of tea wouldn't be enough to suffice.

"Rumple…what's going on?" she asked leaning forward and taking his hand again. "Tell me. Talk to me. You can always talk to me."

"I know that. It's just…I'm afraid someone is in trouble. Now."

"Now?"

He nodded. "I don't want to disappoint you. We had such a wonderful evening planned and I know we've looked forward to it-"

She leaned forward and kissed him before he could say anything else. If someone was in trouble then their night came second. He was needed elsewhere and she knew that later he'd tell her all about it and they'd have an even better time being truly alone together with their son and nothing else to worry about.

"You could never disappoint me. Go!" she urged. "We'll be here when you return."

"How was I ever so lucky as to have ended up with such a wonderful wife?" he asked quietly, looking utterly astonished at her.

"I'm the lucky one," she whispered back before leaning up and kissing him one last time. "Go, be a hero, my Rumpelstiltskin."

"I'll be back later. And then we're going to be together. Always, we'll be together."

"I know," she said as he got up and belted his sword. She had complete confidence in him. She trusted him. She trust him to always do the right thing. That was just how he always was!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love working show allusions in whenever I can. Clearly I had a it too much fun with it at the end. And speaking of the end...tis nigh my friends! What do you say we head back to Storybrooke now for the grand finale?! 4 chapters left. What a truly wonderful thought!
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	47. Where She Belonged

Her eyes fluttered open and she struggled to make sense of the greenish grey sight above her. It wasn't until she took a long swallow and began to sit up that she began to understand again. She was in her library, staring up at her ceiling because she was sprawled out on the floor. The sun was going down, it was a small light in a dark room which nearly made her smile because she had something of the same thing happening inside her. Confusion. That was primarily what she felt but underneath that, fading fast, a memory that would slip away if she didn't hold onto it, was something else.

Happiness.

No. Not just happiness.

Joy.

Pure blissful joy.

Slowly she continued to push herself up off the floor, to sit up straight and run over her head for bumps and bruises. But there were none. Not that she should be surprised. It seemed that she passed out and woke up in strange places more than most people but she never suffered any of the consequences of great falls because he was always around to catch her or heal her or he…

He.

He! The memories, they came back to her with only the thought of him and that light that she felt, the one that had been fading away as if it had all been a dream suddenly flared into a brilliant glow. Oh, she remembered it all. Everything. She didn't understand it, she had no idea what had happened or how he'd done it but…he'd changed everything. Everything, right down to the tiniest detail. He rewrote their story making it into something…happy.

Everything was perfect. He was a hero to everyone, not just her. She had friends, a family! They had a child! Their marriage it was…it was exquisite. It was everything theirs hadn't been, something that even David and Mary Margaret would have striven to imitate! They had been happy together. So, so happy. Just the way that she always dreamed they'd be.

Only…

No…it wasn't what she dreamed it always would be. It had been something that version of herself had always dreamed of. But her…she knew that he wasn't perfect. She'd always known that he wasn't perfect and she'd never expected that they would ever lead the perfect life. She'd always known there would be struggles. She liked them. She liked that she could fight with him like no one else did. She liked that they could face their problems together.

Together. That was what she wanted. That was all she'd ever wanted. It hadn't been the problems that got to her, though they did anger her in a way that nothing he'd ever done before did. It had been the fact that they hadn't been together. That he hadn't told her about his problems, that he didn't let her help him in the way that she knew she could if he'd only given her the opportunity.

He'd wanted separated from the dagger. After what had happened…she would have helped him do that! How many nights had nightmares shaken him from sleep and she'd promised him she'd be there?! How many times had she told him that he could talk to her?! She hadn't been lying then! Anything he needed after his ordeal she would have given! She would have worked side by side with him to fix it, the right way, in a good way, if he'd only told her what was going on in his head! It didn't matter to her that separating him from the dagger was a seemingly impossible task, Will was right, no one in this town knew more about magic than she did except maybe him. Together they could have figured out a way to free him. One that didn't involve murder and destruction and lies above all! Why he didn't tell her, why he'd thought he had to lie…she'd never know why she wasn't good enough for him in the end. Just like Will would never-

Will.

She only just realized that he hadn't shown up today. Not that he would have known where she was. She hadn't been in the shop today, but she'd been watching it all day. If he'd shown up she would have seen him. It was the first time that she hadn't seen or heard from him in weeks. And she'd only just thought of it now, only now realized that she'd never gotten to do what she'd intended when she first came to town.

That vision. Reality? Dream? She had no idea what it was or had been…but she knew that it confirmed what she'd already known. She didn't know what had just happened to her, but she knew that she'd never felt as much joy with Will that she felt with Rumple. Will made her smile. He made her happy. But he didn't excite her. He didn't thrill her. She didn't find herself counting down the minutes until they could be together again and wondering how she'd ever survive if he wasn't in her life. The vision she'd seen had been a cheap version of reality, but even that was better than what she had been pretending could satisfy with Will. And the fact that she hadn't even thought of him today, that she forgotten about him as she so often did…no, as much as she cared for him he just wasn't right. And he never would be. He was…

She felt her mouth drop open as she came to a sudden realization. She hadn't seen him today. Will, she hadn't heard from him. So where was he? Where was everyone else? And the reason she hadn't thought of him today, the reason that she was over here and there was a book laying on the floor not far from where she was. Rumpelstiltskin…the shop, he was locked inside of it and this…

Not every tale had turned out as wonderfully as theirs had. She hadn't seen anyone that she knew, no one but little Neal, but she knew that they hadn't had good lives…wherever they'd been!

Mary Margaret, David…the fate of the one that called herself "The Savior", Emma, whatever it was that he'd done to them all she knew their histories, she knew what had become of them. So what about now? Obviously they still weren't there! Everything had reversed itself when…well, she didn't exactly know when! She'd been sitting in their cottage reading and waiting for him to come home when everything had faded and she'd awoken back here. But how? How had that happened? How long had she been asleep? What had he done?

His choice, the one he'd told her about in...wherever they'd been, what had he done? And the others?! Where were they now?!

She pushed herself up and picked her way around the frustrated mess she'd made on the floor before this had happened. No, she didn't know if she could get into the shop now, she still didn't know why he'd shut her out in the first place, if it truly was because he was protecting her from something or someone inside there with him or if he really just didn't want to see her anymore but no matter the reason she didn't care. No matter what happened to the two of them in the future she knew where her place would always be now and in the future. And that was between him and the rest of Storybrooke. Which she would face for the other she wouldn't always be able to predict, but she knew that for now she had to square off with her husband once more. She was the only one in all of Storybrooke who could be this angry at him and fight without the fear of being turned into a toad! And she didn't care if she had to break the windows or get the fairies to spend the next twenty years crafting her a magical key she was getting into that shop! She was going to figure out what had happened, what he'd done! She was going to say what she needed to say to him and fix what he'd broken...

Even if the people she saw around her in the street didn't look broken, only as confused as she'd been.

Surprisingly enough the door swung forward for her without the need of the effort that she'd put into it and the result was that she felt like she nearly fell through the door into the shop and…a man? A stranger?

No. _The_ stranger. Isaac!

She looked him over for a moment, shocked to see not just Rumple there but also...yes, that was him! The man she'd give water to! Here in the shop? What was he doing here? Who was he? What was his part in all this?

"He's all yours lady," he commented quickly before moving around her and disappearing leaving her flabbergasted and confused in his wake.

All hers? Rumple. Yes. Yes, he was all hers right now and it didn't matter who Isaac was. Only that she fixed whatever it was that he'd done and stopped it from ever happening again. He was there, hunched over the counter clutching his chest and staring straight at her like a small child that had been caught doing something naughty. Probably because he had been.

Without giving it a second thought she closed the door behind her to prevent either of them from running out as Isaac just had and finally turned to face him. He was guilty, she could see that easily enough but he certainly didn't look the way that he had the night he'd returned her heart.

"Belle," he breathed reaching out for her. "You came back for me…"

No, not exactly. "I came back to make sure you weren't going to try to hurt anybody else!" she exclaimed.

"No, no, you don't understand," he explained feverishly reaching for her hand. "I only did what I…what I…thought was best…"

He stumbled. She'd never seen him stumble before, not ever, not even when he had his cane! But now he fell to the ground and she felt her jaw drop at the sight of him lying there on the floor, curled into a ball. That look on his face…it hadn't just been for show something was wrong, right now something was very wrong. What was it? His heart?

"Rumple?" He didn't respond and her heart skipped a beat as she dove to his side and gave his shoulder a small shake! "Rumple! Rumpelstiltskin!" It didn't seem to matter how loud she yelled. He'd lost consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hesitate to call this chapter filler even though I know it has that filler/transition feeling to it. I just hate the idea of it being filler because this chapter is just too important for that. This isn't just meant to be an enlightening chapter, this was meant to be the enlightening chapter. The night before all this, "Layers of Love" she had that moment of realization that there was nothing else outside of Rumple, no relationships were possible. She was either in it or she wasn't. This chapter is really meant to bring her full circle and bring her back to "I'm in this whether I want to be or not" and get to the heart of what was really bothering her and angering her with Rumple.
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	48. The First Small Step on a Very Long Road

Something wasn't working right. At first she thought it was him, that he was pulling some kind of trick on her, but when she was finally down on the floor with him the truth of what was happening began to slowly sink in. He was...he was unconscious! How why?!

His heart. It was the only explanation that she could think of. He'd been clutching it before he'd fallen and...

No.

No, no, no, no! She wasn't going to lose him now. Not like this, not after all of this! Not without her answers, not without telling him what she'd learned about herself and him and the two of them together!

"Rumpelstiltskin!" she cried, placing her hand over his heart. It was still beating. But too fast. Faster than she knew it should. "Rumpelstiltskin wake up! Please wake-up! Please-"

"Ah!"

She gasped as his eyes open and he squirmed on the floor beside her, awake again but clearly in pain as he grasped for his chest. "Rumple," she swallowed moving closer and brushing his hand aside so she could feel his heart for herself again and try to keep him still! It was beating. And he was awake again! That was good, wasn't it?! "Rumple what's happening?"

"Oh Belle I'm sorry," he growled, his breath coming only in uneven gasps. His eyelids fluttered with a look of exhaustion like she'd never seen on him before. "I tried…Belle I tried so hard…I failed again."

"Failed? Rumple…Rumple what did you do? What did you try to do?!" she screamed trying to make sense of these last few hours.

He was calming down, the flashes of pain that she'd seen on his face was beginning to fade. And so was he. He wasn't going to last long. "I…I can't. I can't tell you-"

"You can!" she yelled back, more forcefully than she'd meant to. She couldn't help it. She was tired of this idea that she wouldn't understand the problem when he didn't even give her the opportunity! That attitude was one of the reasons they'd gotten into this mess and she wasn't going to stand for it anymore! "Rumple, for once in our life tell me the truth! Let me make up my own mind about what I can and cannot understand! Rumple? Rumple!"

"I tried…" he countered through his shallow breaths, his eyes were closed as he reclined on the floor. "I tried to give you everything you wanted, everything I always wanted us to be. I tried to…I tried to be good, to clear my heart, to be the man you dreamed. I couldn't do it. My heart's gone black. And…no matter what I do…I always return to the darkness. Even when I got the author to write another book, convinced him to rewrite our story…I still couldn't outrun…I couldn't escape...now everyone's...danger-"

His head lulled to the side and she felt fear seize her. He was fading again, fast. No. No he couldn't give into this, he couldn't surrender his heart to blackness not when she was here right now and she did understand. She wished that she hadn't done it, but she understood what he'd tried to do, with Isaac. The author. He'd found him. And lost him and nearly lost himself in the process. No. No, she couldn't let him give in. She couldn't let him lose his ability to love. Not when she still loved him so much.

She tried shaking him again. It didn't work. But as she ran her hands over his chest once more she stumbled on something that she knew would work. The dagger. The real one, it was there in his jacket pocket. She still hated the feel of it beneath her fingers but desperate times called for desperate measures and she was sure that their time was limited. If they had more of it she'd consult their books. As it was she had a feeling they had almost no time left at all he was the only one that had answers for her on the spot.

"I command you to wake up long enough to tell me what's wrong!"

As soon as she breathed the words his eyes flashed open and squirmed around on the floor once more. "Rumple!" she yelled as he inhaled deeply. She quickly set the dagger aside and tried to get him to lay still instead of putting further strain on his body. Of course he wouldn't, the magic coursing through him had given him a bit of strength and he seemed determined to use it.

"Hey! What's happening?" she asked looking him over.

"It's my heart," he growled, or maybe it was just that talking was a struggle. "The last human fleck of red…it's disappearing," he warned as he finally managed to push himself up. Her stomach dropped. She knew what that meant. His words confirmed it, she'd been right all along.

"You're ability to love," she spoke aloud. She'd been right and expected that but now that it was real, that it was true...she didn't know how to react to such a horrible reality. Tears seemed too little, words too unimportant.

"At least…in the end, I got one last taste," he whispered looking her over, his words making little sense. One last taste? What was he- "We were happy in there. We were in love!"

If she wasn't feeling too much and too little at the same time she would have laughed at such a ridiculous remark. There was so much wrong with what he'd just said. So much she'd wanted to chastise him about for months now! Even before then! This was such an ancient argument, an old conversation. How many times did they have to have it before he'd believe her?!

"I was already in love," she whispered back. He seemed surprised. Why? Why was this such a surprise to him? Hadn't she already gone to extraordinary lengths to prove her love?! Hadn't they been here a million times before now?! In the shop, at the library, in bed at midnight! Why was it only good enough when he crafted it into a fantasy? Why couldn't he be satisfied with the real thing?! Wasn't reality good enough? Wasn't she? "Everything we had in the book, you could have had here!" she argued. "You could have been a good man with a good marriage for real! Why wasn't it good enough?"

She hadn't meant to actually say the last part, but now that she did she held her breath in anticipation because that had been the question she'd asked herself nearly every day since this madness began. He'd always been enough for her. Every day and every night, he was always enough for her to be happy! Why couldn't it have been the other way around?

She watched his face contort in pain but she didn't think it was coming from his heart, not anymore. Not his physical heart at least. "Because I didn't believe it," he hissed out as tears formed in the corners of his eyes and his hands balled into fists. "Who could ever love me?" he finally cried out, looking more like a scared small child than she'd ever seen him look.

She could. She could love him. She had. She still did. She loved him so much! And she knew it because though his sins were still sitting between them, in the thick of it all they suddenly seemed so small and unimportant. What was important was that they were together. No. She hadn't exactly shown it over the last few months but when they'd been married, when he'd gone behind her back because of what he feared the future might bring she was sure that she had, every day, every night, every hour, with every breath in her lungs she'd happily declared that she loved him! And he'd still believed, somewhere in his heart of hearts that some day she would have turned away from him?! They would have been fine! If he hadn't done what he'd done, if he hadn't shoved her away every time she pulled...they would have been fine. But that didn't matter now. What mattered was here and now, an opportunity to say what she hadn't and should have months ago.

"I knew what I was getting, Rumple!" she insisted. She was nearly in tears, trying her best to hold on, to not fight with him and give this all that she could, one last attempt to keep the man that she loved still by her side as opposed to the demon that possessed him. His hand had been hovering over her body and neck for long enough. He wanted to touch her. She knew that. And even more she wanted him to touch her. So she reached up and closed the gap between her cheek and his hand and couldn't fight the feeling of jubilation at the way it automatically formed to the contours of her face. She just wanted to feel again. Feel for real. Exhilaration, anger, joy, frustration, excitement, ups and downs...love! True love! Not something crafted or imagined or forced. She didn't want fine or good or even safe anymore! How could she ever have settled for anything less than this? How could he not have believed her then?! "I wasn't going to pull back!"

"But I made you do just that," he reasoned. His body was shaking, he was struggling, she could see it in every line on his face. Why was he making this harder than it had to be? "There's a whole world out there, Belle, for you! Go with Will!" he urged.

She nearly burst into tears at that remark and had to reach forward to touch him for herself. They were already doing it all over again. She'd pulled. He'd pushed. This time she didn't dare let go. "I don't love Will," she declared. She loved him. Will…Will she'd meant to break up with because she could be happy with him but they'd live another lifetime together and never feel what she felt right here on some dusty floor with her beast. She could live with Will, but she could also live without him. But this...she couldn't live without this, she'd tried and each time been drawn back and that meant something to her! This was where she was meant to be, even if it meant she was the first victim of the Dark One. "And I am not letting you die alone," she insisted. She'd die if he did, together. There was no life for her if he wasn't around, nothing more than this was ever worth fighting for. Whatever she had beyond him never had felt like living.

The surprise in his eyes was palpable. The relief was immediate. She could see it in his face just the same as she could feel it in the way his fingers softened against her skin and his thumb moved gently over her cheekbone. He leaned forward, as if to kiss her but she couldn't bring herself to put her lips on his and only cried with him as she rested her head against his own. This small bubble they'd created was already too small for the intimacy she felt. And besides, she wasn't ready to kiss him yet. She wasn't ready to forgive him for what he'd done. Not yet. But she was ready to move on, to begin again, to try and repair the damage that they'd both done to each other. They weren't broken, only chipped. Their bond, the one that she'd never share with another man for as long as she lived no matter how hard she tried…it was intact, still usable, still functioning. She could feel it in her heart. They could be fixed. If it wasn't too late and everything didn't come to an end.

She didn't like when he reached around her for the dagger, she didn't want that thing in this room or in their lives anymore. It had destroyed everything they'd both loved for too long. "Go! Far away!" he ordered his ragged breathing returning again. The command she'd given. It was only to stay awake so that she could understand what was wrong. Now that she knew everything she'd unknowingly given his body had permission to fail again. "When the man is gone, only the Dark One remains," he growled, tossing the dagger away like a piece of trash. He looked at it like it was nothing but a heavy burden, it was a gaze far different from the esteemed reverence he'd had the first time he'd showed it to her. Maybe there was hope for him.

"And that is more…more dangerous…than you…than you can ever imagine…" she watched as his body shook under the pressure and finally faltered again, forcing him back to the floor under his own weight. No! This couldn't happen, not now! They'd only just found each other again she just needed more time!

"Rumple!" she cried. He had to fight it! He had to stay awake! "Hey!" He had to talk to her! "Rumple!" But when she finally rolled him over and examined him she saw that he couldn't. "Hey! Hey, hey, wake up! Please wake up!" It was useless. He gone again!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so before you start knocking down my door over the beginning of this chapter may I present Exhibit A. I had him wake up the first time (unseen on screen) because physically his angle changed between shots and since I couldn't see little Belle doing that even with the shaking, I had him wake up to accommodate that. Also, she does seem to be finally caught up here, she knows about "the book" next time she speaks with him and since Isaac didn't stop to explain that on the way out I just threw it in there. Sorry, I tried to work Zelena into the conversation, it didn't work. So we'll save that for Moments Taken, or Moments Clear and Unclear which will come after Taken, I suppose. Also, Exhibit B...the dagger, here's the thing: it's all I could come up with to explain it. Seriously. When the last scene cuts out Belle is getting down on the ground and the dagger is no where in sight, when the next scene picks up Rumple is waking up and Belle is setting the dagger down. I swear, go back and check the scene, it happens. So...sorry, but this was the best I could come up with to explain that. Rumple carries it on him, Belle finds it, Belle uses it to wake him up again. Sorry, but it is what it is, I followed what happened.
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	49. The Darkest Villain of Them All

She was crying. There was no stopping it now. He'd lost consciousness. Again. And she suspected for the final time. This time she couldn't get him to wake up, no matter how loud she yelled no matter how much she shook his shoulders he just lay there on the floor completely motionless as she wept over his body. Motionless. Body. Her heart stopped for a minute as she wondered and feared what had happened, at the implication of those two words in her mind. "Rumple?" her hand was shaking as she reached out and place it over her chest again. The moment she felt his pulse still racing against her palm she breathed a sigh of relief. He was still alive. Of course he was still alive, she'd been ridiculous! He was the Dark One he couldn't die from something like a heart attack. But Rumple...at least, for now he was still alive. As long as his eyes remained closed and didn't open with the cold blackness she imagined the Dark One would have she knew that there was still hope that he was in there. That was good.

But her relief over that one fact was short lived.

Now what? He was alive but completely unconscious. No matter what she tried he wouldn't wake up for her. His breath might have been even in this state but his heart was still pounding, absolutely racing in his chest. Fragile as it was right now that couldn't be a good thing. It was a sign that something was happening inside of him, something wrong and bad. At this point maybe it was a good thing he wasn't awake. She feared what would happen if his heartbeat slowed and his eyes opened.

Fear.

She'd never feared him.

But she feared the Dark One. She feared the Dark One without an anchor, without a human heart to tether or restrain the beast. That was a frightening possibility. She had to stop it. No matter what. She looked at the dagger, thrown far from where the two of them were huddled. She could use it again, wake him up, try and figure out if there was a spell or a potion that he could instruct her to make that might hold him off…

No. Dark magic had caused this. It wasn't the answer now. And using the dagger…it might wake him up but at what cost to Rumple. She'd already damaged him enough, she needed time to correct it. With time she knew that they could correct it. They just…they just needed more time. Time she'd so heartlessly taken from them both in an attempt to rid the world of the beast. She'd gone about it the wrong way. And sentenced the man to a life of loneliness instead. She'd allowed the beast to thrive.

She felt herself sniffle as she moved her hand up his chest and against his cheek, then leaned down and rested her forehead against his. "Please," she begged, unable to come up with anything else to do. "If you can hear me, please open your eyes. For me. Please try. We just need time. We need more time to fight this, I know we can! And then everything will be fine, you'll see! We have a long way to run but when has that ever stopped us? When has it ever been easy? I want to fight for you, please, if you're still in there…please give that to me. Please try to fight for me too. That's all I want now. Please..."

A tear dripped over the bridge of her nose and fell onto his cheek as she watched him, her heart in her throat, hoping and fearing all at once.

Not even a muscle twitched.

She sighed and pulled away. She wiped her tear from his cheek and smoothed back his hair needlessly, but she wasn't going anywhere. They needed time. But they didn't have it. The sad truth was then that this might truly be it. And if it was then she was going to stay right here on this floor until the Dark One awoke and killed her. Because if she couldn't save him, then she didn't know who could…or would.

Save him. The Savior. "Emma," she breathed, an idea popping into her head and screaming out against her grief.

They didn't have time, she couldn't ask him, and she didn't want to use Dark Magic. Maybe she didn't need all of those things. The Dark One…he was the villain, he had been from the beginning. No, Rumpelstiltskin wasn't completely blameless but there was no doubt in her mind that the Dark One's magic had always helped to fuel his obsession for power and made it far more dangerous than the average man's lust for fame and glory. And if the Dark One was a villain then it was obvious what she needed to defeat it! It was classic, so simple that a bookworm like her should have known from the beginning! To destroy a villain she needed a hero. To overcome Dark Magic, she needed Light Magic. And if she needed Light Magic then she could only think of one person capable of helping her.

Emma. The Savior. But…

Would she see things her way? Would she want to help him? After everything that he'd done? She'd only just barely begun to forgive him for it all how would Emma feel about it? Surely Killian had told Emma everything that he'd done, everything that he'd tried to do to her. How would she feel about saving his life? What would she do?

She'd help. She was the hero! They always did what was best even if it wasn't in their own best interest. She'd help because she had no choice. She'd help because it wasn't just her heart that was at risk. If the Dark One was all that was left of her husband then there was no telling what he'd do to the rest of the town.

Or Henry.

She had to protect him. She'd promised Neal and she had to keep that promise! The right way this time. Emma would help her do that. If it wasn't too late already.

She placed her hand back over his chest. His heartbeat wasn't getting any worse. That was…something at least. "You may be ready to give up on yourself, but I'm not!" she declared. Quickly she leaned over and placed a kiss to his forehead. "I'll be back as fast as I can with help. Just…if you can hear me stay good for a little while longer. Just a bit more, keep fighting it. Please…just…please!" He didn't even twitch. So she did.

Fast as she could she wiped her eyes and left the shop. Emma. She had to find Emma, now!

And she knew where to begin. A memory surfaced in the back of her head from another time when the sun was just about to set, a happier time when he'd been freed and they'd had an entire future ahead of them. _"All this town seems to do…"_ he'd commented in humor, _"is get into trouble and celebrate when it's over."_

Yes. And no matter what happened there was no doubt it had been in trouble. So a celebration would follow. Granny's! She took off down the street, running as fast as she could. There was simply no time to waste. And she'd been right. The moment that she arrived at the diner she saw it flooded with people. And there, standing among them was David and Mary Margaret. With any luck Emma wasn't far.

"Emma!" she breathed throwing herself into the shop. She'd been right. She was there, across the room with her parents just as always. And she'd spotted her as well. "Rumple!" she spat out hurrying over to her. "His heart, he said it's almost gone. And…he said we're in danger," she stressed. If that wouldn't call on her for assistance she didn't know what would.

"Danger, his heart what-"

"It's turning black!" she explained quickly, realizing that she'd only just now really figured out everything that had happened. Rumple had kept that secret guarded. Emma, her parents…no one but her would know. "All these years, all the terrible things he's done…his heart is about to go dark. And when it does…he'll lose his ability to love. If he loses that, if he loses himself, the Dark One won't be able to be contained. He'll destroy the town. Please, we have to do something. Please…I know what he's done…but it'll only get worse if we don't do something now. No one will be safe. We have to help him. We have to save him!"

"How?" she asked, stepping forward with a determined look that filled her with relief. She was going to help.

"Light magic," she suggested. "Anything you can think of."

"Wait, normally this is the point I ask you for help on this kind of stuff. I…I don't know how to…fix the Dark One! Not without some serious help from someone that knows how to do this stuff better than me."

"If not better then how about older?" David muttered exchanging glances with his daughter.

"The apprentice…" Emma breathed. "You think he can-"

"It's worth a shot," David urged.

She didn't know what or who they were talking about, but it didn't matter to her. It was an idea that she hadn't had. It was magic that he hadn't had. It was a chance they didn't have before.

"Killian, the Apprentice, I think he's gone-"

"I'll fetch him, love," he confirmed with one foot out the door already.

"No, I know where he is, I can get him faster!" Henry called running ahead of the pirate.

She nearly lost her breath at what she'd just seen. Emma, Mary Margaret, David, Henry, even Killian! They were all going to help!

"Thank you," she cried. If they could be willing to overlook his sins and forgive him just enough to help save his life. She could too.

"Where is he?" Emma asked.

"The shop," she breathed. "Please…I don't think he has a lot of time."

"When do we ever?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the short oddness of this and the last chapter. There wasn't much substance to them but they also just didn't fit together. Therefore, two shorter chapters. Short but sweet. I gave you one final Rumbelle moment (that it sounds like we get in the season premiere) before we bring in the heroes. Also, just a little note here about the end...it's not going to end where you probably think it does. There will be a crucial scene missing from the end and there is a very good reason for that...plot. See, I don't just divide Moments by season, I like it to come full circle and have a clear beginning, middle, and end. It's going to seem in the next chapter that I ended not quite at the end but I argue that I did. Basically ::spoiler alert:: we're going to stop after the darkness is removed but before it escapes from the hat. Reason being I thought Rumple was the villain of 4B and things with Camelot and Emma...that's all 5A stuff. In my opinion when the darkness was removed from Rumple that was where the 4B arc ended and thus where ME&U will end. When the darkness escapes from the hat and Emma becomes the Dark One...that's all 5A stuff and I'll address that scene in Moments Taken, just not here. Are we good? Are we clear? Then...on to the finale!
> 
> Peace and Happy Reading!


	50. Where One Story Ends

He'd moved. She hadn't expected that. But when she came slamming back through the door of the shop ahead of the others she saw that he was facing the other direction and for a moment she was frozen. Half her heart hopeful, the other half fearful. Dead or alive. Dark One or Rumpelstiltskin. "Rumple?" she questioned. He didn't stir. And she took that as a somewhat positive sign, though at this point anything that led her to believe he wasn't the Dark One was a good sign.

"Rumple? Can you hear me?" she asked falling down onto the floor next to him. His heart was beating, faster than it had been before. She thought that it might jump out of his chest any moment now. But he didn't respond to her voice at all and her heart broke at the thought that for even one moment he might have regained consciousness, realized that she was gone, and thought that she'd left him again, that he was alone. "No, no, no," she cried leaning over him again, that thought too much to bear at a time like this. "I'm here. If you can hear me I'm here and help is coming, just hold on a little longer. Don't give up, please don't give up yet...ever!"

The sound of the bell chiming behind her made her pull away to see David, Mary Margaret, and Killian step into the room.

"How's he doing?" David asked.

She shook her head but didn't dare speak the words. If he could still hear her she didn't want him to have even the slightest thought that she believed he wasn't going to make it through this. She wouldn't give him permission to think that way. "Where is Emma? And Henry?" she asked instead. "Did he find-"

"The apprentice needed something to help," Killian explained. Emma is assisting him.

"I don't understand…the apprentice?" she questioned reaching for Rumple's limp hand and hoping he'd heard that. Help. It was on the way.

"The uh…'poor old man' I believe you once called him. The stories we found about a boy were true, the Sorcerer had an apprentice and he grew up, that's who I trapped in the hat." Her stomach fell. The apprentice was...him?! The man that Rumple and Killian had put in the hat before the fairies? He was out of the hat? Sure it was possible, she knew it was. The fairies had figured out how to liberate him as well, that had always been the plan but...when?! And…he was going to help? Why? After all that Rumple had put him through why would he be willing to try and save him? Did it matter? She looked back at her husband, pulled her hand from his to run her fingers through his hair and came to the conclusion that it could matter later, after all of this was over. After the apprentice helped.

"Alright," Emma declared ushering Henry and an older gentleman into the shop. "It's not much but we think we have a plan." Emma nodded and the old man stepped up. In his hand was something familiar, something she'd never wanted to see again and never thought she would see again.

"The hat again…" Killian drawled unimpressed. "Haven't we been down this road before?"

"Have you?" the old man questioned getting to his knees. "How so?"

"Months ago, after we trapped you we trapped the fairies as well," Killian explained as the Apprentice set the hat, still in its golden boxed form, down on the floor beside him. "He tried to free himself from the dagger!"

"This is not unlike that," the man replied. "We're pulling the darkness from him and containing it."

That was…not the plan that she'd even contemplated! Remove the darkness from within him and they'd be left with…Rumpelstiltskin. Only Rumpelstiltskin. Rumpelstiltskin without the magic of the Dark One! Ordinary. A man. That would be a sight to behold, one she'd only ever caught a glimpse of before, but had seemed so impossible since that moment she hadn't even considered it. And yet as stunned as she was at the wonderful thought there was only one thing that she cared about right now.

"Does that mean that his heart will be healed?" she asked.

"Perhaps," the man answered. "If the strength is there. This is more dark power than the hat has ever been asked to contain."

"Do what you need to do," Emma encouraged, making her want to step forward and hug her for her kindness in all of this. But now wasn't the time. Not when the apprentice held his hand over Rumple's chest.

"Purest evil, blackest bloom, darkness too can find its doom," the man chanted. A worded spell, which meant it was an ancient incantation. Not as old as the ritual to bring back the fairies but a chant used expertly meant she couldn't even begin to fathom how old that meant this man was but…it worked. Suddenly, in his hand he held the still beating heart of her husband. So black and dark compared to her own that the one spot, that one flicker of red that he'd spoken of, was only a deep purple.

With a gesture so easy that it made their weeks of research look pathetic the apprentice brought the hat forth from its protective chamber. Containment of Dark Magic. There was a time that she had wondered why such a hat had ever been created, but looking at it now, the only salvation left in the world for a man that could know no redemption…suddenly she saw the good that it had been created for. It would work now for them. Wouldn't it?

There was a familiar shimmer of energy in the room just then. One that she recognized came from powerful magic as the apprentice rose and held the hat open before his heart. "Never a-dying, but contained, bound within the falcons chamber. Shorn of anger, thornless danger, there forever to remain!"

The incantation cast she watched with bated breath as magic, good clean light magic reached out through the brim of the hat and latched onto his heart. No. Not quite his heart. Just the darkness in it. It was black as ink, coming off in vine like tendrils that struggled against its new captor for freedom just as he always had. The thought came back to her again as she watched. Just how much of her husband was the Dark One? How much wasn't?

Just as quickly as it had all began it stopped.

The light magic receded back into the recesses of the hat, there to be trapped forever, and what was left…it was spectacular. Miraculous! So much so she couldn't even be sure that she knew what she was seeing!

His heart wasn't like hers, red and bright and spotless. It was pure! Light, shiny, and so white!

She was nearly speechless at the sight of it and if the others noticed they said nothing. The apprentice seemed unsurprised by the development. He merely knelt back down on the floor beside her, returned the hat to its place, then replaced his heart.

Things were still. Too still. Aside from the old man's labored breaths there was no sound in the room and she wasted no time placing her hand over his chest where his had been. His heart was beating, steady and strong, the normal familiar rhythm only she would ever be able to pick out because it sang her to sleep every night.

But something else was wrong.

His chest. It wasn't rising and falling the way it should. "He's barely breathing," she informed the man. But she couldn't think about what to do now. If what they'd done was successful then he wasn't as he had been. He wasn't magical anymore. If what she thought had happened really had then that meant...he was mortal. Mortal. It was a breathtaking concept. Him being what he was, with all his power, she understood that he would keep her young and never aging forever but now...now they truly could grow old together. So long as he made it out of this. So long as he woke up and began to breath normally again. Could the Apprentice help that? Could Emma? Or since he was mortal should they just call an ambulance like they would any other non-magical human being?

"Rumpelstiltskin was the Dark One for centuries," the man reasoned as he rose looking nearly as exhausted as Rumple had before all this happened. "His return to the man he used to be will not be easy. This will preserve him," and with his words she could see the shimmer of a spell, a protection spell, and strong one by the looks of it, fell over him. "Until we can discern if we can help him," the man finished unexpectedly.

If?! Conditionally?

"If…?" she questioned. No. No there was no 'if' in this. Not this time. He would be back. He had to be back. She was going to help him, she was going to save him and stay with him for as long as it took, bring him back to the person he'd been before this had all happened to him. No matter what would come. But she wasn't stupid, she already knew what that meant.

Everything was about to change…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, welcome to the end. I really hope that you enjoyed this story! The next story in the Moments series is Moments Taken and you can find it by simply heading over to my profile. It begins just before the Darkness takes possession of Emma in "The Dark Swan" and ends with Emma and Killian casting the curse to bring them home in "Broken Heart". 
> 
> Of course, if you liked what you read please leave kudos or a comment! I love getting those wonderful little gems in my inbox and communicating with the people reading on a personal level. And if you want to read more, please check out any of the other fictions in the Moments Series. For more information on the Moments Series, upcoming fictions, posting and publishing dates, or a reading order check out my profile for more details. Peace and Happy Reading!


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